Monday, February 11, 2008

Occasional Links: The Emo Viking Edition

Just in case anybody is interested in inadvertently helping promote Dave Sim's new book by picking a fight with him on a message board, he will be appearing next on the Panels and Pixels board today.

Kwickie Kwotables:

"She should get her act together."
-- Famous Musicland Wasteoid Keith Richards on Famous Musicland Wasteoid Amy Winehouse

"Brian Wood Emo Viking"
--Actual Google Search Phrase

"There's a girl at your left reading COMIC BOOKS!"
--Hastily scribbled by me to friend right before we both stared at the poor young woman and tried to figure out what she was reading.

Juno To Become Video Game
According to this article in Dolly Mix, the hit movie Juno will be made into a video game for the "casual market."

You know, when I think "video game," the movie Juno is not the first thing to jump out at me. I suppose there will be a "knock up" button configuration.

Of Course, The Most RELEVANT Thing About "Juno" To Us Comic Fans Is...

The actress played Shadowcat in "X-Men 3." And Jennifer Garner is in the movie too. Who played Elektra. So. It's like Shadowcat is teaming up with Elektra. Cool.

Val Kilmer Now Official Geek Icon

With the recent announcement of Val Kilmer replacing Will Arnett as the voice of Kitt in the new Knight Rider, I now consider him an official geek icon. He narrowly missed official geek iconic status by appearing in a handful of critically-acclaimed films in the 80s & early 90s, but then he did Batman Forever AND appeared in comic conventions roughly ten years later.

But, he was the man who taught me that Vals can be men too. Plus he drank blood in The Doors.

The Alba Has No Eyes

I don't have a picture available, but has anybody seen the art for the recent newspaper ads for the Jessica Alba horror flick "The Eye?" It's a picture of Alba with her eyes gouged out. Yep, that's it -- two bloody holes photoshopped onto Alba's face.

Classy. What I want to see when I drink my morning latte.

"We know this movie sucks, so we're going to change marketing strategy last-minute and show you a pretty mutilated chick."

Oh, let's not pretend that there isn't a market for it.

VIDEO: RIP Roy Scheider

More here.


  1. haven't seen the Eye advert, but to be honest I'd be surprised if they haven't gouged out the things that made the original film good.

    I'm so sick of Hollywood simply rehashing endless Japanese and Korean horror films, and usually making a real bad job of it.

    Dark Water? Oh man, why bother? The Ring films? Again, why?

    And now the legendary Eye presumably gets another "we don't actually understand what makes this film tick but whatever" screw job.

    I mean, they even went to the trouble of making a fairly obvious "Sadako climbs out of...AN EYE!!" reference in the poster. Like Sadako appears in every single Asian horror film or something.


    To anyone out there curious about the Eye film, for Gods sake, watch the original first.

  2. By the way, I didn't include The Grudge as I thought the original version of that was terrible, too (mind you, it all gets a bit complicated. As far as I'm aware, there were a bunch of films that were made BEFORE what is now known as the "first" grudge film came out in Asia. That's why there are lots of references in it to things that look like they're supposed to make sense to us, but they don't because we haven't seen the ones that came out before it. Whoops).

  3. If/when you do have a picture available, please don't. That poster with the eye with the fingers is sufficiently gross already.

  4. Don't forget Juno's dad was J. Jonah Jameson. It's like a big ol' Marvel Movieverse/Arrested Development crossover.

  5. Glamourpuss sounds like the weirdest thing ever? I can't help but be curious about it. I mean-- it WILL be insulting, My guess is it will have a sort of Orthodox Jewish/Burka undertone, like "See, women, what you get? When you dress up like painted whores? You see? Just go home & be mothers & wives! It is what you really want to do, but are afraid to do because of homosexuals using advertising as mind control." That is what I think.

  6. Check HERE:
    for confirmation that the Juno game is NOT happening. Hooray!

  7. I saw the American The Eye only because I looooooove Jessica Alba. It's god-awful. It's actually hysterically bad, like, we couldn't stop laughing. If you want a good laugh, definitely see it.

    I'm not going to watch the original because I'm just not very curious about it. I only went because Jessica Alba was in the movie. It could have been Hello Kitty's Island Adventure for all I cared.

    I'm rooting against Glamourpuss because Dave Sim is a jerk. I look forward to it bombing and him blaming everything and everyone except himself.

  8. I saw Juno last night.

    Awesome. The Moldy Peaches have been stuck in my head ever since.

  9. "I'm not going to watch the original because I'm just not very curious about it. I only went because Jessica Alba was in the movie. It could have been Hello Kitty's Island Adventure for all I cared."

    Uh, you DID see the terrible remake purely because Alba was in it, and yet you're quite happy to NOT watch one of the best Asian horror films ever made?

    Maybe its just me, but I don't get it. If I was offered an hour and a half of awesome, or an hour and a half of crap with Jessica Alba in it, I'd take the awesome anyday.

  10. Paperghost,

    I'd rather have the hour and a half of crap if Jessica Alba was in it, because to me, Jessica Alba = more awesome than anything else, including plot or technical proficiency. I don't usually like watching movies anyway. I prefer reading books or writing or going places or doing any sort of physical activity. I don't care if the original Eye is on par with [insert greatest movie of all time here], I'm just not even minutely curious.

    So, to answer your question, yes, I saw it *purely* because Jessica Alba was in it. I'm quite happy to not watch one of the best Asian horror movies ever made. You can look down on me all you want, but I'm perfectly happy watching any movie with Jessica Alba no matter how terrible it is.

    I'm kinda like a Batman reader that would rather read a crappy Batman story than an awesome non-Batman manga story. At least the object of my entertainment affection is a real person who was very nice and hugged me when I met her. The Goddamn Batman isn't giving out any hugs to his readers.

  11. The original "Eye" was really good until about 30 minutes before the end, once we learn about why the eye transplant had that affect on her. I think what kills it is the same thing that ruins American remakes of Asian horror movies -- too much explanation. That's why The Grudge is so damn linear (and includes about 10 repetitions of the definition of the Grudge), when the original is totally non-linear. The Ring suffers from the same problem.

    I actually liked the American remake of Dark Water -- I think it's by far the best American remake of an Asian film, but YMMV.

    On another note: RIP Roy Scheider. I love pretty much everything I've seen him in, from Jaws to All That Jazz (one of his best roles IMHO).

  12. "You can look down on me all you want, but I'm perfectly happy watching any movie with Jessica Alba no matter how terrible it is."

    Meh, no one is looking down on you, I'd just rather watch something good regardless of who is (or isn't!) in it.

    Nice hugs or not :)

  13. I was just teasing you with that "you can look down on me" line. I wanted to inject some fun into things. I don't think it worked without a tone in my voice, though. Stupid text!

  14. Ah, the old "sarcasm tags" problem could probably be applied here!

  15. Not that I'm gonna defend a piece of crap like The Eye, but my impression of the poster was that she had little screaming faces on her face, with the mouths as her eyes? Not quite the same as her eyes getting gouged out.

  16. Two questions.

    For Val: So what *was* the young woman in question reading?

    For Kenny: Woud you say that The Eye is funnier than the Nick Cage Wicker Man?

  17. Anonymous3:31 AM

    No good shall come of a Juno film.

    Unless it's by Peter Shaffer.

    Then it will be awesome.

    Just like Burne 3 was awesome just because Tom Stoppard ghost-wrote it.