Thursday, August 07, 2008

"Valerie" Platform Wonder Woman Boots

I'm not sure why these faux-Wonder Woman boots are called "Valerie"...

From the product copy:

Superhero sexy!
The Red “Valerie” Platform Boots feature a 5” heel, a red and white striped design, and a 1½” Platform sole. Whether you are a sexy superhero saving the world from imminent doom, or a mod-maven shakin’ your groove thang on the dance floor, these boots add a flirty and feminine finishing touch!

Unfortunately, I can't keep my balance on two-inch heels.

Then again, I might opt for the "sexy Freddie" costume instead:

Nothing quite screams "sexy" like a dream-terrorizing child-murdering serial killer.


  1. Anonymous10:22 AM

    Why does Sexy Freddie have cuts in her own outfit? That's more of a Clumsy Freddie look.

  2. Nothing stirs up the prudish, Midwestern, Bible-thumper in me like all the "sexy whatever" Halloween costumes. It's a cliche of a cliche. There's a reason why I stay home every Oct. 31st.

  3. Nothing stirs up the feminist, jaded, self-rightous prick in me quite like "sexy whatever" Halloween costumes.

    Same goes for guys in drag!

  4. hot. tranny. mess.


    because servo, she's emo. she cuts herself.

  5. That's picture makes me think of that song "You Can Leave Your Hat On".

  6. A 5-inch heel? Given that most descriptions of Wonder Woman make her roughly six feet tall to begin with, if she wore those boots, she'd run the risk of scraping the top of her head against a doorway while chasing a baddie.

  7. Let's ignore the fact that high heel boots for Wonder Woman make very little sense anyway.

    As for Freddie Krugerette, kinda hot in a really, really weird sort of way.

  8. As a dude, I've gone through two different views of high heels. When I was younger, I thought women looked hot in them and the heels just couldn't be high enough. Now, getting closer and closer to being "middle aged," I see high heels and can't stop thinking about how uncomfortable they must be at that moment and the relief a woman must feel taking them off at home.

    With all the things in our culture people try to ban because of negative health effects, how is it that nobody has gotten around to high heels? I don't want my health insurance premiums to go up because of women's podiatry appointments. ;)

  9. The dress is completely hilarious, thanks but no thanks. Gimme the hat, claw and boots of Ms. Krueger. The first two I can use for hallowen or just for fun. The boots... are just cool. XD
    Valerie boots, if they looked like actually practical wonder woman boots it would have been awesome XD

  10. I would be afraid the woman Freddie Krueger would turn into the REAL Freddie Krueger. You know, it starts out as a normal... er... semi-normal dream then suddenly I'm played by Johnny Depp and she-Freddie lures me with a siren-like come on only to morph into he-Freddie and kill me.

    And he'd make some kind of smirky comment afterwards.

    That would be so not cool.

  11. Edward Scissorhand's wet dream... (although, unfortunately, he's got scissorhands, so...)

    If you change just a little bit of the costume, the model could also be Deathstrike.

    Joel... the two scariest movies for men are #2: Deliverance and #1: Fatal Attraction. Fatal Attraction because a guy has an extramarrital affair with a sexy woman, and then she goes crazy. Of course, this being a regular Hollywood movie and not a slasher pic, the guy doesn't die for his infidelity. (Kinda like politics...)

    As for fantasy dress up, what's the difference between a woman wearing sexy lingerie under a business suit and a guy wearing a superhero costume under his clothes? Both are using clothing to empower themselves...

    And let's not forget that uniforms can be sexy too... UPS man, police officer, Star Trek...

  12. And nothing says Christmas like giving someone a Death Star ornament for their tree.

    Hallmark actually sold the blasted things one year. Bugs me to this day.

  13. do a GOOGLE image search for "WONDER WOMAN VALERIE" and you'll find COUNTLESS pictures of Valerie Perez as Wonder Woman. They were named after her, because they cant call them "WONDER WOMAN BOOTS". DC legal rights and all that...