Saturday, August 23, 2008

WB To Look Towards "Superman III" As Inspiration

If Warner Brothers wants to do a "darker" Superman movie, may I humbly request that they look no further than the great 1983 film "Superman III" for inspiration. Reasons why:

1) Superman becomes evil self-hating wino
2) Woman turns into scary-ass robot

All the elements are there. I guarantee that if the WB puts in a scene comparable to the robot transformation scene in "Superman III," no child will be able to watch this film -- which is, apparently, kind of what they want.

Also, they can get some poorly cast comedian to play some slapstick comedy relief character who skis on the side of skyscrapers ala Richard Pryor. You know, I was watching the biography of Pryor the other day, and when they got to the part where he was taking these roles like "Superman III" that were the antithesis of everything he stood for in his brilliant stand-up comedy work, I just got so depressed. It's like, what's with these comedians -- Pryor, Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy. Hollywood just homogenizes them. Even freaking Bob Saget.

You know what Bob Saget was famous for before "Full House" and "America's Funniest Home Videos"? Being the dirtiest comedian on the strip. That's why my eyes filled up with tears when I watched that "I suck dick for coke" scene in "Half Baked" -- because I was getting a glimpse of the Saget who used to be.

Shit, I've just drank waaaaay too much coffee.


  1. Did you watch the Sagat roast?

  2. No, but you just reminded me that I gotta go see it!

  3. Anonymous12:57 AM

    Oddly enough Superman 3 wasn't even the lowest point in Pryor's career. The Toy was.

    And shame on Superman 3 for teaching kids that you can survive a 50 story plunge as long as you're wearing skis and land on your feet.

  4. I've argued for years that as crappy as Superman III was, they missed a prime opportunity to do Brainiac.

  5. I think it was really under rated - the film has had an odd resonance in popular culture. One of the characters in Office Space admits he lifted his scheme straight from Superman III.

  6. I saw superman III in the theater and it was bad not as bad as superman IV but bad. the only good parts were superman vs superman and superman vs supercomputer in the grand canyon.Singer had a chance to put his signature on supes like he did with the x-men but he was too much on Donner's sac. Do you know how many times superman has been run on cable,everybody has seen it.The best part of superman returns was the scene when he tries to save the plane from crashing, the rest is garbage. After seeing Neo fight agent smith in the matrix movies everyone saw how superman could be.
    And we were let down. Superman does not need to be dark because that is not the characters personality.