Sunday, May 25, 2008

Soft-Core Titans Action

This latest Titans cover was brought to my attention via Your Mom's Basement under the title, "Dear Penthouse, I Mean DC,"

"Really, DC? Was this necessary?

You know, when actors are simulating make-out sessions in movies, we never see the tongues. You know where we do see the tongues? Porn."

Here is a close-up view:

Obviously, this Titans series is trying to compete with the vast underground Teen Titans fan-porn community. Which isn't exactly what I meant by, "go and find out what the fans actually want." But brownie points for expanding their horizons.


  1. Normally, I'd agree with you.

    But one of the kissers is Starfire, the alien sex goddess who walks around naked and talks about how we shouldn't repress ourselves. Is there any way of kissing her that *doesn't* involve tongue?

    And we all know Nightwing's a dirty dog anyway...

    I wonder what Babs would say...

  2. I'm with lish on this one-- I LIKE that Starfire is a female character who isn't some pretend puritanical thing. she has her own mores & frankly, i like her when she's sexually assertive. & the "Titans" doesn't say "Teen," right? I mean, I'm all for all-ages comics, but really? Really? OMG TONGUE IN A PHOTO PORN! Um, I kiss with tongue. I AM A PORN STAR I GUESS.

    Gotta go get married!

  3. Anonymous4:49 PM

    We also see tongues in Harvey Birdman as well, which may be porn in some countries I guess.

  4. Hmmm... could it just be an accurate representation of a passionate kiss?

    It doesn't seem that gratuitous, it's kinda tasteful, and well, they are not actors playing lovers, they are as far as we can see, the real deal. I'm fairly certain than romantic scenes between actors actually involved together go beyond the "stage kiss."

  5. You know that scene in The Return of The King where Arwen is finally to wed Aragorn? She kneels, he asks her to stop it, then gives her a passionate kiss... Play the movie slower, you will see Viggo Mortensen attack Liv Tyler all Black&Decker tongue-drill. Yeah, my friends caught this on the fly and now, we always go frame-by-frame whenever we watch that part. Aragorn-Alien crossover, in turkish language even...
    Anyway, what I meant to say... if it is good enough for LoTR, it should be valid for Teen Titans. After all, Ian Churchill cannot understand the difference between by-the-canon-beautiful and anorexic-without-muscles-in-the-belly; he is not the most subtle artist... but still, I prefer DC to publish this than having the art changed. If you don't like how an artist depicts things, just don't hire him to do the covers!

  6. I don't understand how they're getting their faces that close together without either one of them tilting their head a little. Or their noses being mashed together a little.

    Look again at the photo kiss- their heads are profiled in the same way, but they're further apart. While Starfire and Nightwing are almost making like the "yin-yang" symbol. Their faces must be thin as sheets of paper.

  7. This is about as nonsensical as the Alex Ross Citizen Steel dust-up. More fandom with too much time on its hands, staring waaaaay too long at ink on paper.

    This would be a problem if it were in Tiny Titans. Otherwise, it's only dirty if you feel that wauy about sex.

  8. Titans is so disappointing it's become utterly engrossing to me. I can't bring myself to pay money for it, but I read a bit more whenever I'm in the store. The sad thing is, aside from the hands-in-a-circle cover for issue 1, this is actually the best cover of the bunch.

    It's a slow-motion train wreck. With tongue.

  9. Frankly it just doesn't look like an actual passionate kiss is my problem with it. It looks like two people really uncomfortable with the fact that they're kissing, made not at all easier by the fact that Churchill's artwork is just atrocious. I mean, come on - Nightwing's mask is covering half his face and his hand is huge. I don't mind a cover where the two are kissing (I'm a Nightwing/Starfire shipper, m'self). I mind that it looks terible.

  10. Oh, relax! This cover is more interesting than the complete contents of the first two issues of this series thus far!

  11. "If you don't like how an artist depicts things, just don't hire him to do the covers!"

    Y'know, many a time I wonder that DC loves said artist drawing this sh!t; writers and editors secretly fantasize that they would be the ones making out with Kory ...or with Dick.

    This image looks like it was purposely drawn to excite comic nerds sexually... two characters with plenty of history sucking face with suggestive posing and soft coloring. This will be the best selling issue yet.

  12. doop was me, stupid multiple gmail accounts.
    I don't think the problem is the tongue thing. I mean, both characters were shown sleeping together what, twenty years ago? The problem is that Churchill's art is not that good.
    I guess DC gives its artists some guidelines on what they expect of the covers. Things like "First issue - iconic shot of the whole group", "Someone dies here - make it moody and suggestive without showing" or, in this case, "Dick and Starfire make out again; a kiss, a romantic scene or something like that". It could also be the artist who has the idea first, and maybe sometimes it's the former and sometimes is the latter, I don't really know. What I mean is, first an agreement has been met on WHAT to show on the cover, then the artist draws the way he or she knows.
    Now, it's clear what Churchill clearly wanted to show: the soft colours, the water, the stars in the sky... add some little birds and some flowers and you have the perfect idyllic, romantic scene.
    The kiss doesn't fit those other elements. Like Joel said, people normally tilt their heads a little when "deep-kissing" just to avoid their noses clashing.
    Yeah, I've just re-read that last paragraph, I know it looks analytical like the operating instructions of a washing machine; bear with me, I'm trying to make a point.
    A typical kiss within those parameters could be something like this. In this case, the kiss looks a bit unnatural and forces. It's not "Wow, what a kiss", it's more "Hey! Look at us! We're kissing! WITH tongue! Can't you see it? Ain't we passionate?". For me, something subtler would have worked better. But, if you wanted to have subtlety, why hire Ian Churchill?
    All this, of course, while guessing this is just the penciler not getting the intended feel across very effectively. It might be a deliberate attempt to show the contrast between the pastoral imaginery and the raw reality of sex between one scantly clad alien princess and one well built young man in tight spandex. Sexual innuendo getting at least free in superhero comics and all that. Or maybe Churchill drew a perfectly OK cover and the editorial mandated some tongue, who knows?
    But, you know what really irks me? That Starfire's hair is all wet while Dick keeps is quiff intact and completely upright. I must have that hair gel. Now, talk about sexual subtext.

  13. Buff..i only can think in germs when i see that type of kisses.

  14. Nope, just wrong on so many levels. It doesn't "sell" anything besides to turn people off the comic. I understand shock cover tactics used in order to get someone to buy the title, but from the sounds of how Winnick's Titans is doing this does more damage than good.

  15. At first glance I thought this was a great cover, the way Starfire stands over Nightwing, and as much as I love Barbara, I sometimes think that Starfire is the best match for Nightwing, BUT that tongue is awful! Seriously, has Churchhill ever kissed a woman? No one sticks their tongue out like that when kissing unless they just absolutely don't know what they're doing. It reminds me of those kissing scenes in Baseketball when Trey Parker and Matt Stone just start licking each others' faces.

  16. You know, I was watching season 2 of The OC the other day and two of the characters were getting a lot of tongue action into the kissing. Of course, she was a drug dealer convincing him to back her up on a big deal, but it was there. Saying it only happens in porn (or, you know, real life) is kind of weird.

    Yes, The OC. Deal with it.

    Oh, and I just don't like the cover because its kind of shoddy....

  17. Honestly? I didn't notice the tongues until you said it, and I still didn't see it until you provided the close-up. Honestly, my reaction was just, "Huh. Nightwing and Starfire kissing. Are they a couple again?"

    Now my reaction is, "There are people who looked that close at a comic-book cover to check and see whether they could see tongues. And their complaint is that the cover is creepy."