Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Shia: Flesh and Fantasy

I don't understand why I can't be left alone to enjoy Shia for the months or weeks left he has before the American zeitgeist declares him overexposed. It's all so full of hope now; so innocent. It could even last longer than Hayden Christensen.

That said, looking over the GQ photos of Shia, I have to say he just doesn't come off with a hell of a lot of personality. Those candid photos of him smoking and ducking the camera are far more real and compelling. In those photos we see the real Shia LeBeouf, the "what the f**k?" Shia, the Shia that exists between takes.

Gone are the puppy dog eyes, gone is the earnest but blank expression, gone are the painful hours of blowdrying his hair straight, and in its place the real deal, the "f**k it's early" Shia, or the "f**k it's late" Shia. In fact, his name really isn't Shia in those photos. It's Frank. Frank LaBeouf.

Frank LaBeouf

Except in this photo, in which his name is clearly Goober:

Cigarette Martyr


  1. Wow. This Shia thing is really serious for you isn't it?

  2. Anonymous12:57 PM

    Ha ha- Frank. :) Nice.
    I'm going to see Indy tonight, is it wrong that I'm more looking forward to seeing Shia more than Harrison Ford?

  3. I want a boyfriend like he!

    Or he...


  4. He looks terrible in those GQ photos.

  5. Those GQ photos accompany an interview where Shia admits shitting his pants until the age of 12, once flinging a fecal nugget from the pants leg of his gi while delivering a kick in karate class. And where Shia tells about doing stand-up comedy about his first time masturbating at around the same age.

    Best interview with a celebrity I've ever read. Didn't even notice the pictures.