Monday, May 19, 2008

"Red Dawn" To Be Remade

Do you remember that awesome fearmongering bratpackian feat of 80s cinema called RED DAWN?

Well, MGM plans to remake it.

Now the question is: do they use Russians again as the bad guys? Or the fearmongering boogeymen du jour?

Can the Republican Party get this made before the election?

How about C. Thomas Howell? Can we get him involved?

Oh man that movie made me so paranoid as a youngster...

But the "Say You, Say Me" scene in White Nights cleansed me of my fears of a Soviet world:


  1. Man that "White Nights" movie made me paranoid about dancing!

    But "Dancing with the Stars" has cleansed me of this ;)


  2. Yeah, who are going to be the bad guys this time? The only other superpower in the world is China. Are the studios and the corporations that run them going to risk alienating their fastest growing, possibly largest market and trillions of dollars in favor of making 100 million or so?

    My guess is they'll do something with "terrorists," and it'll stink. Not that the original isn't pretty ludicrous in itself, but it's a watchable sort of ludicrous. Perfect MST3K fodder, with an impeccable cast of formerly-young guns and that Brad Savage kid who turned into a vampire in the 1979 Salem's Lot as a doofus. He did good doofi.

    Whatever happened to that punk who played the mayor's son? He was always playing snotty ignorant smart guys.

    Huh. Now that I think about it, Red Dawn is the most anti-intellectual movie I've ever seen. Seen multiple times. Anyone with even a bit of book larnin' is a weakling, a traitor or a collaborator. The message of Red Dawn?

    Guns=good. School=bad.

  3. Oh- and that Russian on the far left (physically, not politically) in the McDonald's photo?

    Ignatius J. Reilly!

    He's probably working as an extra in this movie to supplement his pay from Levy Pants, and has a letter from Myrna Minkoff in his pocket.

  4. "Red Dawn" is a truly strange movie. For instance, there's the cheap throw-away gag where you see the bumper sticker, "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hand" and then next to the car, a Ruskie is prying the gun from someone's cold, dead hand. That seems to show how silly the whole cold-dead-hand concept is. But on the other hand, you have the rest of the movie, which seems to say that owning guns means you can take on the Russian army.

    There's a guy named Joe Bob Briggs who occasionally hosts TV movies and one summer, he was doing a thing called "Summer School" on USA and he showed "Red Dawn" and had a retired general on to discuss the movie with. Joe Bob asked, "What do you think, a bunch of high school kids taking on the Russian army. Would these tactics work?" The general seemed taken aback for a second and finally replied, "Of course not."

    But don't get me wrong, I really have a soft spot in my heart for any movie with Harry Dean Stanton (AVENGE ME!!!!) AND Powers Boothe (All that hate's going to burn you up, Boy).

  5. Anonymous11:08 AM


    Personally, I'd rather see a remake of the Outsiders. :/

    -Man, the Red Dawn movies poster is... eh.

  6. Anonymous12:49 PM

    Yeah, I was always of two minds with this movie too.

    On the one hand, I was at the age that I appreciated the concept of kids my age with some guns wrecking up the joint.

    On the other hand, the whole "Invading America" concept was so off for me, so logistically impossible that it kind of took me out of it.

  7. Why?

    I remember seeing that movie in the theater, then checking the nearest flag pole when I got out. Maybe not the greatest movie ever made, but it was perfectly craptacular, as Bart would say, and deserves to stay a monument to the 80s.

  8. Can you believe I saw this for the first time in December? I used to be really scared of movies with any violence at all.

  9. Holy cow... the Russian on the far RIGHT is Ignatius, not on the left. Wow, I don't know my left from my right. I'd be a HERO in Red Dawn!

  10. Anonymous12:04 AM

    this was THE coolest movie ever made .of course its not believable that this could happen but we all on some level wish it could.