Friday, December 05, 2008

The Sound And The Fury

I was dismayed to read Mr. Tony Lee's comments in his LiveJournal regarding my recent review (which I thought was very fair) of MILF Magnet. If this is a preview of what is come on his blog Monday, color me unimpressed. Just because I prefer family entertainment such as Johnny Dollar over bawdy sex-fests such as MILF Magnet doesn't mean I'm puritanical. But it's the same old story, isn't it? To quote Huckleberry Finn, "I been there before."

Lee writes:

"I am deeply outraged at your outrage, D'Orazio. And I accept your calling me out. This is war, sweetcheeks."

If it's a war he wants: it's on!

Only, he should consider the following two things:

1. I'm from Brooklyn, which makes me exactly 78.9 % tougher than the average person.

2. The unfortunate past targets of my feminine fury:

He wants to bring it? It's already brung!


  1. I for one look forward to the eventual bringing on both sides, and am glad to see that no comments as to the potential stuffing of your, or anyone elses, baked Solanum tuberosum have been made. It is a new day for the internet.

  2. "Your outrage at my outrage makes me outraged!"



  3. You took out Greedo? But, I like Greedo. His big eyes and floppy fingers. Aw man.

  4. "This is war, sweetcheeks." is he for fucking real? What a moron.

    Val, I really wouldn't give this idiot and his comic any more publicity than it deserves. There's a lot more happening on this planet to get angry about.

  5. It's actually 82%. The only borough that beats us is the Bronx when the Yanks have a home game against the Sox.

  6. I agree with Ewk! Just ignore him. He wants to promote his Tijuana Bible...hentai, or whatever.

    But, if you do: Go completely and utterly crazy with sarcasm. Write a "review" on how he puts Mark Twain to shame. He's like Shakespeare but super-cool.

  7. Anonymous2:52 PM

    So wait... Han DIDN'T shoot first? It was Val?!

  8. I can only hope that both sides eventually agree to a mutual bringing de-escalation.

  9. Anonymous3:19 PM

    The fact that he called you "Sweet Cheeks" is simply enough to dismiss his moronic ravings.
    Lay the smack down on him Val!

  10. "It's a traaaaap!" *gurgle*

  11. Anonymous4:25 PM

    I responded to his indignation by calling it indignation and then telling him to go outside (in a manner of words).

    The real awesome thing about this all is that while you are obviously mocking rage with this entry, he's actually amazingly upset that someone didn't like his juvenile fantasy comic.

  12. didio looks really hot in that picture. that is all. :)

  13. I think there's a couple people on here who took your rant seriously. Maybe, I am wrong, but I believe this is toungue in cheek. MILF Magnet sounds interesting, but what I would really like is MILF Island on my TV screen.

  14. Didn't we learn in the Cold War the horrors of the Mutually Assured Bringing It defense? Must we, the comics blog reading public, be held hostage once again to a clash of ideologies between titans who can destroy us all?

  15. Anonymous7:14 PM

    I choose you, Valablogger!
    VAL uses Quick Response
    It's super effective!
    TONY LEE uses Sexual Innuedo
    VAL's speed fell!

    But on a lighter note, what's so bad about it? It's porn in comic form. It's existed before. Is it just the fact that this is a publisher that used to be all-ages that bugs you?

  16. Holy cats! this is one of those comics related feuds the internet is so famous for, isn't it? I don't think any of us will come out of this unscathed. The true tragedy of this whole thing will be forever losing Britain as an ally. You are the voice of a nation, Val, do us proud! (USA, USA, USA)

  17. This should be good I've got my popcorn ready!!!all I need is porn and a six pack!....oh wait Tony brought the porn?! all I need is a sixer then! :) Good Times!!;)


    I should post my outrage at this outrage on my own blog!

  19. I'd wanted to comment on "What I Can And Cannot Do" but it's essentially the same as what I'm gonna say here: I'm with you against the forces of evil, Lady V.

    (And I'm from Brooklyn, too, so... ya know.)

  20. Are you havin' a laugh? Are you havin' a laugh???

  21. "Your outrage at my outrage makes me outraged!"

    jeez... *rolls eyes*

    I too say ignore this fool.

  22. You are right to be outraged. I was once his friend, indeed we shared a lunch this very week. But the sheer HORROR and FILTH that he produces makes me want to stick my hand down my gullet and rip that stir-fried-beef out of my colon in utter shame.


    I look forward to you pwning (as I believe The Kids say) his ass. Only the mild mitigating factor of being introduced to your enjoyable journal prevents me from going and burning his house down RIGHT NOW.

  23. Am I the only one who heard "Outrageous" and thought of this?

    Oh, and Val, with all due respect, Brooklyn's got nothin' on Chicago.

  24. First, you're review was far from being fair. Obviously the name of his book should clue people into the book NOT being family friendly/oriented. You should throw in your own personal bias on what consists of a "superhero" book into your review. Which apparently to you is quasi family oriented. (On a personal note I'd throw in that some comic books featuring MAJOR icons do some serious crap like I don't know..the PUNISHER! Heck Batman does some pretty horrid crap) Maybe you're okay with excessive violence and don't say anything on it but in a comic book is wrong!....moronic argument.

    Second...way to promote his book.

  25. Why does this all feel like some kind of Andy Kaufman bit?

  26. So wait... Han DIDN'T shoot first? It was Val?!

    Val was on the grassy knoll.

  27. "didio looks really hot in that picture. that is all. :)"

    too early in the morning for this, too early in the morning for this!!!

  28. @ NotInTheFace -

    "Am I the only one who heard "Outrageous" and thought of this?"

    Ever since I was a kid, I can't hear this word and NOT think of Lionel Richie. There was a Grammy telecast back in the 80's where he won a bunch of statues, and that was his big exclamation all night long (no pun intended).

    It's equal parts amusing and maddening.