If Superman and Wonder Woman were real, I think they would perpetually be Enemy #1.
Both are very powerful and committed to justice. Not bullshit justice like in politics and war, but real Justice. You know, like they would choose to go into Darfur to help out rather than Iraq. That's right. To the Powers That Be, Superman and Wonder Woman would be Completely Useless. Because they aren't motivated by the profit margin. Plus, they would interfere in the Profit Margins of other powerful people.
Hence, the media would be torn between portraying them as dangerous criminals, while at the same time playing upon their appeal to a segment of the disaffected masses. Here is where I think the Powers That Be might really have their chance to defeat Superman. And it won't involve several Kryptonite atomic bombs.
The thing to do is create a media "cult" over someone like Superman or Wonder Woman. The Powers That Be can tell them that they really want to work with them to further the cause of (chortle) justice. So they do this whole "public image" media blitz with Superman, for example. "Superman and Gigacom Conglomerate Team Up To Fight AIDS." Wonder Woman becomes the special ambassador to some war-torn country. It's a sensation.
To the people, Superman and Wonder Woman become saviors -- truly good people with wondrous powers whose only mission in life is to help humanity.
Once the Powers That Be get that firmly in place, they break out the Kryptonite bombs. The cult images of Superman and Wonder Woman will be far more lucrative and easier to control once the actual people who inspired them stop being alive.
Flash to twenty years later, and the images of the late Superman and Wonder Woman are smiling down from some Wal-Mart/death camp. Now, Superman and Wonder Woman stand for Status Quo and loyalty to the government. Some people still remember the "real" Superman and Wonder Woman -- but that version of the superheroes is heresy.
So that is what would happen, I think, to Superman and Wonder Woman in Real Life.
Whereas with Batman in Real Life, he'd be pretending to actually be one of the Status Quo, while at the same time ripping them a new asshole. Because he don't trust nobody.
So, you're saying it would play out pretty much like the transmogrification of Yeshua ben Yusef, Proto-Socialist into Jesus Christ, Super-American.
ReplyDeleteActually, I tend to have more the image in my head of something along the lines of Superman: Secret Identity, where he convinces them to trust him simply because, "I have the power to strp you all of your power within a matter of seconds and there's nothing you can do about it... except I haven't yet."
ReplyDeleteThen again, I'm an optimist.
This sounds like a good theme for a comic book...a combination of Batman Returns,Kingdom Come and Damage Control where our greatest hero becomes a government stooge...almost as bad as a corporate shill? (like Wildcats and Youngblood -damn you Rob Leifeld for perverting even that concept.) I hesitate to mention that they would more likely become corporate to support their expensive lifestyles (top tech, computer systems the envy of most countries and the freedom and resources to travel around the world to implement the various corporate and government policies). Costly support staff and post adventure repair to infastructure would create a necessary coporate culture that in many large cities like Gotham or Metropolis would be nearly the entire infastructure and more than likely employ over 50% of citizens. Not to mention the insane insurance deductables that someone would have to pay for their high property damages. And all this would exist under the guise of 'helping' these heroes to make our world better but in reality is more about supervision and threat analysis. A self fullfilling prophecy what would eventually eat its heroes and have the means to do it - the most powerful of these weapons being guilt...Jewish and Catholic guilt. For that reason anyone playing by their own rules would be eliminated early due to the need for the 'greater good. See you Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor.
ReplyDeleteIs that official art? When was mullet-Superman in the DCAU?!
ReplyDeleteRight, just like with Jesus. Oh, wait, Colin just said that.
ReplyDeleteWould Superman go to Darfur? Does Real-World Superman make the calls Comic Superman can't?
This is kinda what's been done with Dr. M.L. King. If he could come back from the grave to see what's been done with his legacy...
ReplyDeleteOr you have the "Miracleman Society" result (known in the States as the "Squadron Supreme" situation) where, as they say, "Hell is paved with good intentions."
ReplyDeleteThe problem with being "holier than thou" is that you end up getting nailed to a tree. Also, Golden Ages are seen with hindsight. (Remember the Clinton Administration, and how everyone kwetched? Especially about Gore and Bush being similar?)
Darkseid has the right idea... get that nasty "free will" out of the way. Because everyone has their own POV of Heaven. And everyone will kill to get it.
If Superman and Wonder Woman were real...they'd totally be doing it.
ReplyDeleteSorry!
Batman would be all "boopdeboopdeboop" when the government's all "zipzapzop".
ReplyDeleteI would so buy this mini.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, and a disconcerting scenario it is. It makes me think of Superman Red Son. I only read it once, so maybe I'm not remembering correctly, but I think Superman was basically a mascot for the Soviets while Batman was against the government (because it had caused the death of his parents somehow) and became a terrorist. Wonder Woman was a neutral ambassador but then ended up aligning herself with Superman. However, there was no corporate/free market aspect to this story, beyond the idea that there was no free market and the government was the economy). In a way, though, Superheroes are already pawns of corporations, considering all of the merchandising. Which, don't get me wrong, is lots and LOTS of fun, but a marketing ploy nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteI don't think Superman would down like that. And, what if he just came to this reality. No Kryptonite. He'd be like Superboy-Prime except stronger because of comparison to the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteNow, Wonder Woman. If anyone were to last, it would definitely be her. Especially if she came with all her magical items. If you gave her 6 months, nigh world peace! + Superman, 2 1/2 to 3...Maybe not even one if we're talkin' Silver Age. Heh.
Reminds of a line from DKR:
ReplyDelete"Every year they grow pettier. Smaller. We must not remind them that giants walk the earth."
So, Batman would pretty much be what he is in the comics, right? Billionaire member of the industrial class who goes around kicking butt at night.
ReplyDelete"Of course we're criminals, Clark. We've always been criminals."
Hello, It`s the first time I comment on your blog, although I have been following it since months, and I really like what I read here.
ReplyDeleteAnyway,in responde for this post I would like to say that, for the people outside the U.S., this unpleasant version of Supes and Wonder Woman has become somewhat true. Well, at least down here in Mexico, where Superman is sort of the official image of "the american way of life" and everything that line means for the third world. We can see him in lunch boxes, in backpacks, as the image of corporate propierties such as fast food chains and all that jazz.
So, to us, Superman is pretty much the representation of the power of the U.S., we know they can tear us down if they want to, but we hope that they are as altruistic and benevolent as Superman is.
Which is why was always so hard for me to forgive Superman and realize that he is a good guy after all.
Um... Superman became a mascot of the U.S. Government in "Dark Knight Returns".
ReplyDeleteWonder Woman and the magic lasso. Add Politicians. Broadcast live.
Another political variation is "Rising Stars". Oh, and "Justice". And there was that Alex Ross special of Superman.
And it escapes me, but I recall there was a story about a superhero who was a corporate mascot, and then discovered the company was evil, and confronted them nationally... Was that Rising Stars?
Funnily enough that's just what happened.
ReplyDeleteSuperman's early adventures were about kidnapping arms merchants and putting them on the front lines, kidnapping mine-owners and dumping them in their unsafe mines, even grabbing Hitler and Stalin (this is pre-Pearl harbor) and dragging them to the League of Nations.
But as he became more marketable this aspect was dialed back pretty fast.
And if they were real I think they were also find that the world is a lot messier than we'd like. What was the Iraq War but an attempt to fly in bust some heads install democracy and get out? Or the Somalia invasion, fly in, distribute food, arrest some bad guys, get out. Etc, etc.
I think a real Superman and WOnder Woman would be in over their heads real fast.
Very dark, yet plausible. I like it!
ReplyDeleteJust today, for no reason, it occured to me that if the Death Star was real they would never call it that. It would be called the Freedom Star.
Just finished Ellis's Black Summer in which a hero "impeaches" a certain President into a stain...
ReplyDeleteBatman,Wonder Woman and Superman will always be real to me in my heart and in my head! : )
ReplyDeleteBatman is the establishment.
ReplyDeleteI had a Vicodin Dream about this last night, so I dug up this old entry:
ReplyDeleteIn reality, Wonder Woman wouldn't give a f*** about us - it's the culture she was raised in. She wouldn't go starting sh*t, but she also wouldn't give a f***.
Superman would eventually begin exploiting his powers more and more until he reached the point where he would say "enough of this Testing cr*p" and destroy what he didn't like about the world. This would lead to war.