"If Perez Hilton Rated Comic Book Covers"

"too much Zatanna crotch"

"tasteful knickers"

"slut no more!"

"but what you don't know is that in the very next scene they totally get out of this and kick ass"

"bad news is, you're defeated. good news is, you have a *haut* butt. glass half empty, glass half full."

"I want to tap some of *that*. On a cracker. And he can bring the utility belt."

"she totally wants you. yes, *you*"

"it's ok when a woman does it to another woman."

"camel toe!"


"what you don't realize is that in the very next scene he's rescued by the Heroes For Hire"

The Other Shoe Is Ready To Fall, Sir

(image from here)

from Heidi's blog regarding various and sundry kerfluffles as of late:

"BTW, I’ve received a few oblique communications that hint that TPTB are not as oblivious to the issues being raised over the last few days as their public silence would indicate. Developing."

You know, I've been following these things for several years now, these issues regarding women both working in comics and how they are portrayed as comic characters. I've never seen the other shoe drop. The closest I've ever seen the other shoe dropping is the swiftness with with the editor on Supergirl was replaced and various rumors that following my "Goodbye To Comics" some of the art on certain comic books were altered either in the penciling or inking stage to change potentially offensive images of women.

I love comics. I don't want to hurt comics. I love Marvel and I've managed to work up a tolerance for DC.

But to TPTBs everywhere: drop the other shoe. Say something. Do something. Acknowledge what's going on. I know you really don't want to see women alienated from this industry. But the silence only adds more fuel to this fire.

In my own case, nobody wanted to let that other shoe drop. Nobody wanted to admit anything happened, that anything was wrong. So everything was silenced, erased, quieted. And then one day I "rebooted" this blog and said what nobody wanted said. Because the silence from those who had the power to defuse the situation in a proper way demanded it be said.

But this mounting silence creates resentment, anger, and eventually, it comes out in one blog or 1,000 blogs. Or a book. Or a movie. Who knows?

Let the other shoe drop. Defuse this clusterf**k and the many clusterf**ks like it and the many clusterf**ks we aren't even aware of.

And whichever company takes the first step and makes a public stand on this issue is going to be the winner.

Giant-Size Doris Day Two-For One Team-Up 64-Page One-Shot Special In Prestige Format Card-Stock Glow-In-The-Dark

"Thanks for reminding me again of one of the reasons why I chose to stop seeking work in the "mainstream" (or is it "MANstream?") comics."

"Well, she’s bending over. Pin-up girls do that."

"Now, as we all know, I publish pornographic comics. Not just tease comics or pinup comics or sexy comics- hardcore pornography. Poles & holes, money shots, manga-style spurting penii, cartoon boobies bouncing, etc. I am not ashamed of the adult comics my company publishes. This is because I try to be a responsible editor and I believe there should be adult comics out there with consensual sex, women enjoying themselves and not being treated as mere objects, couples in love who can't keep their hands off each other, and the radical idea that sex, in all its forms, should be fun and pleasant and positive. This means it's often difficult to find artists who understand these concepts, and we often have to reject stuff with very nice art that contains things like rape, snuff, extreme violence, and the like. "

"I imagine Sana Takeda wanted to sell more books."

"Women who display what many regard as traditional male traits - such as assertiveness, independence and ambition - are more often the targets of sexual harassment than "feminine" women, the Canadian research has found. The situation is worst in workplaces dominated by men, where women with so-called masculine personalities - described in the study as "uppity" - suffered more than twice the harassment of other women."

"Anyway. Here goes my irrational, obsolete, and admittedly uneducated view on sexism in comic books: It exists. YES, women aside from supermodels and porn stars don't have those curves. YES, they're frequently scripted into compromising positions. YES, many female characters are "tarted up" and overly (overtly?) sexual. So? They're comics."

"It's been my empirical experience that cultural leaps forward often come from a situation where it's "darkest before the dawn."

"As I’ve been hinting for a long time, the integration of women into the comics world (again) is easily the biggest sociological aspect of comics current rise to respectability. It may actually be the CAUSE of it. Comics regaining a bilateral appeal is a huge story, and any demographic shift in any sphere brings discomfort and border skirmishes... Before moving on, I need to point out that one of the reasons Johanna, Valerie and I are all so snarky and/or jaded is because we’ve been to the mountain. We’ve worked in the comics industry... the messages I received engendered in me a powerful need to help others by showing these message up for the ignorant, insecure messages they are."

"Yeah, I said to myself that I would write this all down one day in some sort of memoir, or I would become active in Friends Of Lulu and protect women everywhere, or I would do a half-billion other noble things so I could see the "silver lining" in my struggle. But deep down I could still see my dad ripping that Wonder Woman poster off my wall:
"You ungrateful bitch! You fucked it all up! You touched the fizzy-lifting drink! Now you win nothing--NOTHING!" And I just wanted to make him happy."

A Chick Drew ThisSana Takeda

I'm going to reserve any punditry or editorials
until well after my third cup of coffee for the day.

Will OS Manage To Explain This Cover Away As Just Another Harmless Homage To A Earlier, Kinder & Gentler Time In American Pop-Culture That We Shouldn't Get Our Panties In A Twist About?

Well, she's going to give it her best shot. But she has a lot going on at work at the moment, so it may take a few days to come up with something.

Carnival Of Butt Shots

...over at Skewed Perspectives.

More 4-color ass than you could ever hope to see in one place other than an Ed Benes comic.

Which Character Will
Anthony Michael Hall
Play In The Next Batman Movie?

a) Riddler

b) Azrael

c) Harvey Bullock in fat suit

d) Nerd

e) Musclehead who forces a scissor-handed freak to get violent and spend the rest of his life in his creator's remote laboratory on a hill carving images of Winona Ryder out of ice thus providing an ersatz snowfall to population of normals below.

Fear of Big Ones

When I was in college I belonged to a feminist organization for English Majors. I had never really done any "feminist" sorta things before this, having been raised on largely male-oriented media and having mostly male friends. But college introduced me to a world of new perspectives, and I embraced them.

We had health fairs where we taught about AIDS awareness and issues about rape. We had a sexual harassment taskforce. I introduced the idea of using the comic book format to introduce our ideas to a wider audience. We had poetry readings, "women's spirituality" talks, everything.

One day on an open mike poetry reading a new girl that we hadn't seen before stepped up to the front of the room and read her piece. She had giant breasts squeezed into a tight silver spandex shirt. After she read, and her and the other women who were not of our "core" group left, I was witness to the following exchange:

"Can you believe the nerve of her?"

"Her tits just hanging out like that?"

"It's so gross!"

"Those ugly things...they're so fat!"

"She thought she was all hot and stuff. Like she was better than us."

"She looked like a cow."

"She just does that to get attention from guys. It's so *pathetic*."

"She doesn't love herself."

"They were like two big pendulums."

Between this and the way the one guy who *was* accepted into our group was treated (alternatively as "resident beefcake" and favored eunuch), I lost interest in the group. No, it wasn't that I lost interest. My idealism took a hit. I held this group to a higher standard than others and maybe that was wrong.

But I still think we need to examine more closely why we think the depiction of big breasts in comics is offensive.

I know that part of it is that that particular physical attribute is used too often -- this is true.

I know that part of it is that big tits are often used as a way merely to stir up male sexual interest -- this is true, and it reduces the female character as merely an object of the male gaze.

But I also think there is probably another factor in play that's never addressed. And it probably never will be. And that's ok. But I know this factor exists.

What Sexy Comic book
Villainess Are You?

mystique!
Take this quiz!

It's not easy being blue. And naked.

Anatomy Of An Eating Disorder

First 3 panels from from Scans Daily:

Covers That Don't SuckJSA #8: Non-anorexic body-type believably supports upper region. Says: "I'm a fierce, powerful female." Also says: "STOP LOOKING AT MY BREASTS!"

Outsiders: Five of a Kind Grace/Wonder Woman:
Two strong women doing superheroey things.
Wondy's crotch is totally exposed, but in a non-alluring manner.
Okay, the torso is a little masculine. Okay, Grace looks a little masculine.
But it's totally not sexually exploitative.

Thor #1. Pointed out to me by the omniscient Sammy. Mike Turner can still draw, the JLA boob thing was just a nightmare, there's no place like home, there's no place like home. Makes you wonder if the later JLA covers look a little rushed because he was going to knock this one out of the park <---only speculation, I'm sure totally not true.

Of course, bad covers make for better posts.
But it's not like I'm wishing for them or anything.

Presenting...

the Occasional Superheroine!

designed by "Betty & Veronica" artist
Dan Parent!

Like An Old Ex...

Actually said by Self on the way to the comic shop yesterday:

"Yeah, I'm in a really good place about the whole DC thing now...it's kind of like dealing with an old ex-boyfriend. You know, you have mutual friends, you may even pass him on the street every once in a while. But you don't want to get stuck in an elevator with him or anything."

Let's Put An End To This Budding Urban Legend Right Now...

There are rumors circulating in the blogosphere that this is the first cover of Gail Simone's Wonder Woman run:

I say, nay nay.

Actually, it's this cover:

No wait, that's not right. It's really art from this Andrew Willmore dude.

Actually, I have it on pretty good authority that the new WW cover will be this one:
But of course I'm pulling your leg yet again...there is no way that could be a real cover.

Olsen Twins New Bond Girls?

Rumors are circulating that Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen may be the next Bond girls. Apparently one of the producers is taken with the skeletal pair and is offering them roles in the 22nd installment of the 007 franchise. The deal is also being sweetened for the girls with the promise of no nudity or sex scenes.

That's exactly what I want to see. These annoying pseudo-goth Gucci dufflebag-toting Wookie coat-wearing little pests in a Bond movie.

Man, I still remember that "Full House" pilot where Jesse had to change their diaper and he wrapped toilet paper around Mary-Kate or Ashley's body directly from the roll...yeah.

I'm old.

Wonder Woman: She's Angry. At Men. Can You Tell?

Wonder Woman, from All-Star Batman and Robin #5:

"Out of my way, sperm bank."

"It leaves a bad taste, this world of men."

"Men. They can't do anything right."

"Men always lie. About everything."

"Men always make a mess. Out of everything."

"Shut up! You call yourselves men?! Shut up!"

She's a strong, liberated woman. So she's rude and sexist. And the men just take it. Because it's hot, yo.

Also, her dialogue has a certain sexual connotation about it..."sperm bank," "bad taste in my mouth," "men can't do anything right," "men always make a mess." And in the end, she passionately kisses Superman (who she has spent the last few pages verbally castrating).

Welcome to the world of Frank Miller. His writing is far too ironic and hip for you to possibly appreciate in this lifetime. So don't even try.

Jessica Alba Part 2: On Being A Serious Actress

thanks, angryzenmaster!

Jessica, what can you tell us of how your character "Invisible Woman" has evolved since the last "Fantastic Four?"
Jessica: "Blubbablubblubblub..."

Jessica, in a thin-obsessed Hollywood full of anorexics and scarecrows, how do you keep your curvy figure?
Jessica: "chompchompchomp..."

Jessica Alba Wants To Be Taken Seriously An Actress......she says in GQ article where she poses in skimpy halter tops and bathing suits

"I hope all my new work will help producers in getting past my hotness."

Rob Zombie On Directing Next Harry Potter Flick:

"I'd probably be very violent with a lot of nudity. That's what it needs. Harry should say 'f---' a lot. That would spice it up."

Would Bill Moseley make an appearance?

The Daily Gilgongo!

For May 16th, 2007: "Because there are more important stuff"

Bug that looks like Iron Man's face. You know, just because. Thanks, Mr. David the G.

Funniest Movie Death Scenes Ever: you'll never think of "garbage day" the same way again.

Mike Gold over at Comic Mix theorizes that rap music has "taken the bullet" for the comic industry.

"Ms. Beatnik" of 1959 Finalists. The woman at the far right looks disconcertingly like my mother. Actually, I think it might be my mother.

Spiderman, Superman, and Batman all team up in the Indian adventure, "Nagraj V. Shakoora the Magician." I'm really proud of how DC & Marvel put aside their petty rivalries and teamed up to make this book happen. Via Alan Hunt's site.

Batwoman Kathy Kane is saluted as a "Groovy Chick" over at The Absorbascon. How bold was she? "So bold that she decided to become a crimefighter, without even a scarring childhood loss to motivate her." Take that Batman, you wimpy putz!

Finally, "If you have it, you don't need it. If you need it...you don't have it."

"The Shrill Squeals Of Stuck Male Chauvinist Pigs"

Bellatrys sent me this message the other day, wanting to comment on one of my MJ threads but being unable to because she wasn't signed up on Blogger:

"Sigh. You're still trying to Please Men, girl. You haven't thrown off the shackles of the patriarchy, no matter how they tore you up, body AND soul.

That's why you still guiltily feel that the antifeminist concern trolls who say "You're scaring us^h^h^h^h being too SHRILL and BITCHY" are right, and if only we were just *nice* and *giving* and meek and patient and Good Girls, they'd eventually stop treating us like domestic servants and cum dumpsters - both aspects of Traditional Femininity embodied in that statue, btw.

Guess what, being nice and backing off and not mobbing them won't get them to Like Us. Being big meanies and forcing them to pay attention to our roars - well, the SHRILL SQUEALS of stuck Male Chauvinist Pigs shows that it does work. Of course they want us to stop! "


Mmmmm. "Shrill squeals of stuck Male Chauvinist Pigs." Yes, I think that will change a lot. I think that's really gotten us far, and, if we really push, we may even get two female writers on the Wizard Top 10 at the same time. We may even produce more than a tiny handful of superstar mainstream superhero comic writers and artists. We may even "shrill and bitch" our way into an executive position at a comic book company.

I wonder if women like Karen Berger and Jeanette Kahn shrilled and bitched their way to the top. And if they didn't, were they sell-outs? Were they "kow-towing to the Man?" If instead of being shrill & bitchy they were, to a degree, gracious & pleasant to their male coworkers -- is that a sad commentary on the way women are bound by the "shackles of patriarchy?"

Certainly I could have been more assertive in dealing with some of the idiots I've encountered in my comic book travels. But if I had gone in the extreme opposite direction I don't think that would have done jack.

Maybe we can make small gains by being "shrill and bitchy." We could force all cheesy cheesecake superheroine renditions underground, for instance. Have them banned. DC and Marvel too "scared" to put them out anymore. But we really don't win in that scenario. Because there is going to be a lot of resentment. And it's going to come out in other ways.

It's like Iraq -- America tried to win the hearts and minds of Iraqis by force. It didn't work, it only produced more people shooting and blowing up our troops. The main criticism of Bush is that he doesn't use diplomacy -- he just goes in there, insults people, and uses threats and coercion.

I think we need diplomacy.

WWWWD? (What would Wonder Woman do?)

The passing of Jerry Falwell had me thinking...

Wasn't he very anti-pornography?

Wouldn't he have been outraged by some of the sexed-up comic book product being put out nowadays?

Wouldn't he want to have them banned?

We'd all have been pretty outraged if someone like him had started a campaign to ban and suppress such images, wouldn't we?

Interesting.

Couldn't feminists and evangelists temporarily bury the hatchet and go after pornography?

Like, it could be a superhero team.

Falwell could be like Professor X.

And then they can go out kicking ass, ridding the world of "Hustler" and "Penthouse."

Larry Flynt could be like Magneto or something.

And then when the two groups get rid of all the porn,

they could duke it out over reproductive rights

That could be a 4-issue limited series. Or maybe stretched out into a "52" type event.

Just a germ of an idea.

My Final Word On It

Hey, it's nice to have a cause to rally around, even if -- as in the case of the MJ Comiquette -- it's a little on the shallow side. If it makes you feel good, you just keep doing it. Keep looking at these issues as black-and-white cases of "evil patriarchy" vs. "defenders of right." The most popular opinions are knee-jerk & one-sided, because they're the easiest to comprehend and provide a ready outlet to pour out all one's righteous indignation. Thinking in shades of gray, trying to comprehend the other side's point of view -- it's not as satisfying. But that is what I'm trying to do in this blog, even if sometimes I fail.

My favorite commentators in the media are always the ones who take the annoying "third path," who don't tow the party line. Bill Maher, Tucker Carlson, Camille Paglia. Not exactly a beloved crew.

My problem with the comics blogosphere, or the blogosphere in general, is that it is very polarized. This should be the perfect medium to split hairs, to examine, to see all sides, but it's more often than not a dumping ground for one extreme view or another.

It's not enough to preach to the choir.

And real change involves seeing the other side's point of view and talking to them as if they are intelligent human beings and not slime on your shoe who bought a cheesecake statue.

I make fun of dirty keyword searches -- but as long as they don't involve minors or anybody who is going out cutting women's heads off, it's their prerogative. I'd rather talk to these people and find out why they have a need to see superheroine rape than cut them out of the dialogue. And I have. And you know what? Getting one man who likes that sort of pornography to say, "I always liked this stuff but I never questioned why until I read your blog and now I realize that I have issues to be worked out" will make more change than twenty pages of "bad bad bad patriarchy bad bad bad oppression bad bad bad."

Anyway, Dirk Deppey is a man who made it a point to include a "When Fangirls Attack" link on his blog every day. I don't know him very well, but he has been nice to me. Of course, what he wrote is polarizing, and most of whom it is directed to will immediately close up their ears and go "nonononononono." And that's the rhythm of a lot of the discourse on the internet. And then you give up trying to change things and go on BoingBoing to get pictures of beatniks or DIY instructions on how to build a magazine rack out of duct tape. And that's where I'm off to right now.

Mary Jane Comiquette Statue Fight Now On Level Of The American Civil Rights Movement.

A comment left on the previous post:

Okay, I need to get this off my chest.

Occasional Superheroine, I do believe you are wrong-very wrong- on the "overly excessive argument"

I am reminded me of a line from Martin Luthor King's Letter from A Birmingham jail, where he comments about how he was told to "wait".

Yes, if only we can get Sideshow Collectible & Marvel Entertainment to pull the MJ statue, we may win freedom for our people. We too may be able to vote, to share the same water fountains with fanboys.

It starts with one woman: Mary Jane Watson. If we can liberate her from the twin evils of cheesecakery and blissful housewivery, it will be the crucial blow against the patriarchy that we need to turn the tide.

But first -- Stephanie must get her trophy case.

Oh, news just in -- Stephanie & Mary Jane NOT REAL PEOPLE.

Here's some links regarding the real oppression of women -- real women, not comic book characters:

Afghan girls struggling to get education

Women enslaved in global sex trade

Domestic violence

Now go compare your struggle as a comic book fan angry that Stephanie doesn't have a trophy case to the s**t these women went through.

I mean, the MJ and Stephanie and Power Girl discussions, they're a good start. It's like school. Graduate from school, and apply all that passion and sense of social justice towards something in our reality. You can still discuss Power Girl. But break it up a little bit. Maybe devote 50% of your bandwith to Stephanie getting her trophy case, and 50% to Afghan women setting themselves on fire because their lives are so damn miserable. Or maybe 75% Stephanie, 25% Russian sex slaves. Or maybe two pages of posts on "Fangirls Attack" on MJ, one page on domestic violence in Canada. Maybe I'll stop being such a self-absorbed snarky blogger myself. You don't think I read about the real s**t that goes on in this world and feel like a jackass sometimes for the stupid fangirl s**t I write about?

Oh, Snap...

Dirk Deppey's response to "Fangirl" outrage over the Sideshow Mary Jane statue just made my jaw hit the keyboard. I'm serious, my chin just about knocked out "V," "B," & "<":

"A scroll through the last few days of When Fangirls Attack links reveals less a collection of feminist criticism than a sloppy combination of knee-jerk outrage and reactionary herdthink with which the Attacking Fangirl contingent has gotten embarrassingly comfortable in recent months — sort of a distributed John Byrne Forum for she-nerds every bit as engorged on their own inflated sense of entitlement and inability to see past gender assumptions as the goofiest he-nerd on the Internet."

and

"So why the big freakout over a harmless statuette? I’d say it had to do with the earlier point raised: the fangirl’s inflated sense of entitlement, and the unwillingness of the rest of the world to feed it. It’s no different than the complaints that fanboys lodge over the perceived injustices of the funnybook world, of course, though they usually don’t waste time trying to wrap their enormous self-involvement in pseudo-ethical trappings. Fangirls, however, seem to need that extra step."

and

"Like it or not, superhero comics are made by and for men. That doesn’t mean that’s all they can ever be, but that’s the way it is now, and until female fans gain enough economic clout to dictate terms, they’re going to remain safely ignorable. Want to change that? Make the fucking comics and build the audience you need to affect change."

But you should really read the entire lengthy commentary to put this all in perspective and get the full drift of what he's saying.

As for what *I* think of all this...

Read my previous post.
But to clarify:
There is a need for comics feminism. I think bloggers have the right to make fun of something that seems ridiculous or offensive. But the problem with the MJ controversy is that it ends up looking so excessive that it starts to erode the credibility of the cause. Remember right after editors were suddently switched on "Supergirl" and I posted that I thought fan pressure did it, but not to get too cocky? Well, this is what I meant. And it's not that people shouldn't stop expressing themselves. I'm just saying that to people outside a certain branch of the comic blogging community, the MJ-outrage thing looks obsessive and maybe even a little...peevish? I dunno. There is no easy answer to it. Hell, I blogged about the statue too. And I blogged about the Power Girl cover to death. But I'm just saying...

Sideshow MJ Statue SOLD OUT
or
"There's A Market For It"

Confirming what I suspected, that despite three pages of "When Fangirls Attack" links slamming the "barefoot sexy laundress" Spiderman collectible, there is a "silent majority" who still snap these suckers up.

My questions:

1. If there is a confirmed market for this sort of art & collectibles, doesn't DC & Marvel have the right to produce them?

2. Do said items hurt the "rep" of these properties so much to certain readers & potential readers that it isn't worth the extra sales? Or would the people that would be offended by the Mary Jane & Supergirl statues tend not to enjoy the majority of mainstream superhero comic offerings anyway?

3. As a super-model & devoted housewife, how much does the Mary Jane "Comiquette" deviate from what we know of this character? Is such a scene regarding Mary Jane, a dirty Spidersuit, and heaving breasts completely out of the realm of possibility in the Spiderman universe? As married adults in a still-playful, sexually-charged relationship, would MJ & Peter ever exchange randy looks while performing household chores?

4. If the Comiquette featured Jean Grey, Sue Richards, or Storm would it be even more offensive? Why or why not?

5. How much of the offense taken by this statue has to do with the fact that MJ is doing Peter's laundry? Is there some sense that a wife doing her husband's laundry is demeaning in-and-of-itself?

6. The Mary Jane statue is an obvious allusion to the classic cheesecake pinups of old, where women are posed in sutuations that make no damn sense whatsoever for the sake of showing off their curves. Are these allusions ok? Or should they only be used with less iconic female characters? Or should they be stopped completely?

Finally,

Is there any reader who actually LIKES and/or ordered this statue or the Supergirl/Catwoman ones who would be brave enough to drop me an email or leave a comment?

I'm just playing devil's advocate here, I like to see all sides of the debate.

My own answers:

1. Yes

2. Yes & No.

3. I don't think this scene is so unthinkable. But it definitely doesn't show the full range of the character.

4. Yes, it would be more offensive because their primary roles are being active crimefighters, not supermodels/housewives.

5. There is a DEFINITE bias against women/wives doing household work in play here in a number of the criticisms. This image seems to trigger off this automatic sense of persecution, of being told that "women should be barefoot and pregnant." And yet this domestic image is one I rarely if ever see depicted in superhero collectibles. It's an oddball. And I don't think its purpose is to say that all women should "know their place." It's purpose is to titillate, beginning-and-end-of-story. She could have just as easily been fishing or laying down laminate flooring. But there are also women who take pride in doing housework, making babies, etc., and there is a stigma to an extent placed on these women in popular culture -- that they are "anti-feminist," unambitious, walking anachronisms, victims, the oppressed, brainwashed Stepford Wives. And that attitude is in itself biased.

6. There has to be a place for it. But it's very tricky with iconic characters like MJ, Supergirl, Wonder Woman, et al.

The Daily Gilgongo for May 14, 2007

Let the Superheroes Unite playlist on Napster be the soundtrack to your life, and enjoy such melodies as Queen's "Flash," Black Sabbath's "Iron Man," and Styx's "Captain America." What, no "Magneto and Titanium Man?"

Dirk Deppey at Journalista! responds to the whole "Comics Aren't For Girls" controversy with an excellent dissection of why this image is disturbing:"…isn’t that it’s misogynist, but that it’s fucking ridiculous. This looks like sexual-fetish material, sure, but it would have exactly the same weird-ass vibe if both of the depicted characters were men. This image isn’t “sexist,” it’s emotionally stunted. Wrapped in the garb of teenage fantasy, it cannot help but take on an air of unreality that no infusion of sex or violence will dispel. Sixty years of accumulated kiddybook clichés won’t suddenly become adult reading material if you add lesbian relationships, hardcore gore or extended scenes of chartered accountancy; the latter only throw spotlights on the childishness of the former."

But let's forget all this heavy talk of kiddybook cliches and discuss something that really matters: like this cute Persian kitten with a Batman cowl! Awwwww...I just forgot all about Darfur!

Kyle Baker's "Heroine" cartoon (right-hand side) tells the tale of one mother's search to find acceptable comic book role models for her little girl. Via Comic Mix.

Former peaceniks Lego are now making little Lego guns for their little Lego men so they can have little Lego chest-wounds and have little Lego pro-firearm rallies with a little Lego Charlton Heston.

This just in -- Captain America still dead.

Finally, here's a clip of James Marsden singing "Witchcraft" on the "Ally McBeal Show." Why post this, you may ask? Because I can...because I can.

Fun With Keyword Searches, Mother's Day Edition!

(actual keyword searches used to find my blog)

"big racks girls" -- this is the name of one of those newfangled girl bands, isn't it? Or a bowling team?

"brad meltzer sexist" -- you know, when Brad first got that call from DC saying "hey, would you like to write our latest JLA event?," I'll bet keyword searches like this popping up on Google was the furthest thing from his mind.

"supergirl rape" -- obviously written by some serious feminist scholar looking for research.

"superheroines raped" -- who wakes up at eight-0-clock-in-the-f**king-morning and decides to look this up? On the Lord's day, to boot!

"superheroine distress" -- that's what I'm just starting to get...time for Midol.

and, my favorite, just in time for Mother's Day:
"old lady mammaries"

Thank you, thank you, I have a million of them, thank you!

Review: The "New Look" Betty &Veronica
read the 5-page preview here

Running in "Betty & Veronica Double Digest" #s 151-154 is the storyline "Bad Boy Trouble," featuring the much-hyped "New Look." Gone are the trademark Dan DeCarlo snub noses and black-dotted eyes, traded in for a "realistic" art style. What could have prompted Archie Comics to meddle with a formula that's worked for 50+ years?

An article in The New Yorker a few months back discussed the "Barbie Vs. Bratz" syndrome -- how, basically, little girls were abandoning in droves the classic fashion doll for her "hip" rival. Now, the Barbie sculpt is a bit more realistic than the Margaret Keane-eyed, monster-footed Bratz. But the Bratz *are* more "adult" -- more, frankly, sexualized. And girls as young as eight are choosing these more adult dolls over "Barbie's Fairy Princess Party."

It's a good point to remember -- the girls *themselves* are making the choices here. Maybe they are heavily influenced by pop-culture and their environment. But they're pushing the lever, they're making the consumer choice. And if you don't believe me, hang out in the doll section of Toys R Us sometime.

Personally, I think that is part of the motivation for the "New Look" Betty & Veronica. Part publicity fodder, part marketing experiment. And Veronica Lodge -- *the* Veronica Lodge, not her "doppleganger" -- is showing a bit of insecurity over the whole deal:

"Riverdale High was invaded today by THEM. No, not 8-legged, brain-sucking aliens – aliens would have been much LESS scary!

No, RHS was invaded by “The Faux Duo” – the fake “US”. No, they didn’t actually show up – I don’t think they have the nerve to do that. SOMEBODY put one of their new Makeover Comics – B&V Digest #151, INSIDE MY LOCKER! I found it when I got to school this morning.

What did I do? I screamed. Then I went to the nurse’s office for an hour. I don’t know where the awful thing went; Betty said it’s making the rounds through school. She hasn’t seen it yet, either."

The art for the "Faux Duo" -- by the team of Stephen Butler & Al Milgrom -- is cute and fun, though, especially with the huge eyes, not *that* much more realistic. The realism, if anywhere, is to be found in a) the fashions & b) the figures. The"New Look" takes a cue from Bratz and clothes "B & V" in contemporary, form-fitting outfits. Not that the girls are drawn particularly buxom or "slutty" -- but when "New Look"ed, the wasp-waists and modest bosoms of the girls look a lot more noticeable.

The "Bad Boy" of the story's title, one "Nick," wears a leather jacket, heavy metal T-shirt, gold medallions, and a soul-patch. Yes, a soul-patch. Nick regales Betty & Veronica with a host of clever come-on lines:

"Hey! Chill, Blondie! A saint I ain't! Where I come from, folks don't pay for what they can get for free!"

"Forget your friends. Come on, let's go for a spin on my cycle!"

"You act like sneaking into a movie theater is a major crime. Believe me...I've done worse things."

I'm not sure if it is writer Melanie J. Morgan's intention to mark Nick right off the bat as a total creep, or if he is supposed to have that charming, roguish, "Spike from Buffy" quality that "grows" on you over time. But I immediately hated this guy. So does Betty:

"I have the ominous feeling that Nick st. Clair is bad news."

However, Veronica *so* completely falls for Nick after roughly 5 minutes of conversation that she hops on the back of his motorcyle and rides off with him.

Here's where things get a big murky in this story.

1) Is Veronica *that* dumb and naive as to leave for God-knows-where with a young man she barely knows, especially one who is so obviously, as Betty says, "bad news?"

2) The scene with Veronica leaving with Nick is immediately followed with Betty worrying sick about her, noting that she won't even answer her cell phone. Then the concerned girl rushes to Mr. Lodge's mansion to apprise him of the situation. This is a little intense for an Archie comic. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be done. But I've just never read anything this realistic in one of those comics before.

And yes, it is a bit realistic. How many otherwise-intelligent girls fall for boys who have "trainwreck" plainly written all over them? As Veronica explains,

"I find him mysterious and exciting."

I should also note that opportunist Nick initially hits on Betty, only to turn to Veronica when he finds out that her father is a billionaire. Again, is writer Morgan using this to illustrate what a total wretch Nick is, or does she really plan to make us care about him in some way? I think the 4-parter could work if Veronica gradually learns -- the hard way -- that Nick is no good. That would be a very capitvating, hard-hitting "teen" story. But if he becomes one of those "hoodlums with a heart of gold" that messes up Ronnie's life 5 ways to Sunday only to be taken back again and again -- it's time to put that tired old cliche to rest.

Interestingly, the last cover of the series features Betty with Nick. I'm hoping it's just a ruse by Responsible Betty to get Nick out of her life once and for all.

As for my final verdict on the "New Look" Betty & Veronica -- it's an interesting idea, but I don't think I'd want to live there. The Bob Montana/Dan DeCarlo look gives "Archie" its unique & iconic pop-cultural currency. Ultimately, through book sales as well as licensing, it is worth more to the publisher than any experiment.

But also, I wouldn't give a girl under the age of 12 a copy of "Bad Boy Trouble" to read. What I always liked about "Archie Classic" was its inherent "all ages" quality. Unlike many contemporary superhero comics, I wouldn't have to think twice about handing "Betty & Veronica" or "Jughead's Jokes" to an 8-year old. But I don't want to let Nick St. Clair or the faux-Veronica's apparent lack of common sense anywhere near my theoretical rugrat.

The Daily Gilgongo!
For May 12th, 2007

The "Mickey Jihad" video. Some little girls collect Polly Pocket, some call for worldwide Islamic control.

Matt Groening's son wishes father was Seth MacFarlane. "Playboy" interview via ComicMix.

Hey, I weigh as much as Elektra Natchios! And I better gain some f**king weight! Karen Healey & Terry D. Johnson's "Comparative Sex-Specific Body Mass Index In The Marvel Universe and the Real World"

How To Make Han Solo Carbonite Candy Bar. Do you eat the head first or the feet? Via BoingBoing.

Here's shocking video from Spain of what appears to be...a demon! Or Gollum. Or maybe even Britney on a verrrrry bad day.

And finally, Johanna at Comics Worth Reading says, "Superhero Comics Aren't For Girls":
"That doesn’t mean that they’re 100% enjoyed by only members of that gender, but it does make the cross-gender participants exceptions. It’s great that those oddballs (said lovingly, since I’m one too) have used the net to find each other." I remember when I was a little girl, and wanted nothing more than to grow up and be a "cross-gender participant exception." I think I'm almost there.

I'm Riiiiiiitch!!!

My blog is worth $98,229.96.
How much is your blog worth?

So what happens now, does somebody send me a check?

The Daily Gilgongo! For May 11, 2007

Noted Asian-American actress Jessica Biel has reportedly been tapped to play Chun Li in the new "Streetfighter" movie, according to the Latino Review. She was offered the role after such powerhouse Asian actresses as Jessica Alba and Keira Knightley turned it down. No word if Filipina actress Drew Barrymore might also be in the running.

"When Fangirls Attack!" celebrated its 400th post yesterday. Between Ragnell & Kalinara and regular "Occasional Superheroine" tipster Sammy I've been able to seem like I'm on the pulse of comic feminism for, like, months.

MTV is apparently looking for a few good virgins in, of all places, a comic book shop: "MTV is casting a fun, new documentary style reality series about relationships & dating from a male perspective. We're looking for virgin guys (21 & up) on their quest to break out of their shell & improve their love life." Um, dating comic book fan and having no problems on this front. Okay, dated comic book fan before comic book fan and had broken vagina. But not a virgin in sight.

Does this screen still show Paris Hilton cameoing in Spiderman 3?! Or just a creepy lookalike designed to distract authorities while she hightails it to Guam to avoid her jail sentence? And if Paris was a Spidey villain, what would her name be?

Newsarama interviews the man behind the "I'm A Marvel/I'm A DC" video, who wants to go on record as saying he "really doesn't hate Superman!" No, he doesn't hate Superman...he only compared him to a PC!

Brian Bolland threatens to sue fan for dissing his commission sketch online? Say it isn't so! Via Journalista!

Lastly, this piece of rare, Disney-approved poster art featuring Donald Duck teaching soliders about proper...protection...is wrong on so many levels. But it helped cut down on wartime STD transmissions by 36%.

The Limits Of Free Speech?
or
Rape As A Comedic Device

I just heard this lovely exchange from XM's "The Opie And Anthony Show" describing the graphic sexual assault of Condoleezza Rice:

Homeless Charlie: "I'll tell you what -- what's that George Bush b**tch, um, Rice? Condoleezza Rice? I'd love to f**k that b**tch. She needs a f**king man."

Anthony: "I'm just imagining the horror in Condoleezza Rice's face...as she just realizes that you're holding her down and f**king her."

Homeless Charlie: "Punching her all in her f**king face: shut up, b**tch..."

Anthony: "That's exactly what I meant."

Ah. Rape as a comedic device. I believe the Greek humorist Aristophanes first popularized this.

Is this unpleasant exchange a case where free speech should be limited? As one of the most popular radio shows in America, should "The Opie and Anthony Show"' be held accountable for an exchange that makes light of rape? If Don Imus got sacked for his comments, should they as well?

Or is entertainment like this just a release for all the ugly, repulsive, racist, sexist, misanthrophic urges that lie lizard-like and dormant in the hearts of a section of the population? Does a show like this create the problem, or merely mirror it?

"Is This In Continuity?"

I pick up a copy of Alex Ross's "Justice #11 at the comic store and ask the store clerk:

Me: "So, is this in DC continuity?"
Clerk: "It might be."
Me: "Is this in current DC continuity?"
Clerk: "It quite possibly might be in current DC continuity."
Me: "Does this story have any impact on current DC continuity?"
Clerk: "It's very possible."
Me: "Is this an Elseworlds or something?"
Clerk: "Not exactly."
Me: "So it's in continuity?"
Clerk: "Kind of."
Me: "Okay, Supergirl is wearing her puffy-sleeved disco outfit here."
Clerk: "Apparently."
Me: "So...um...I'm going to just pretend it's in continuity."
Clerk: "Can I interest you in the two volumes of hardback reprints--"
Me: "NO!"

What's Wrong With This Statue?

1. Everybody knows that low-riders are soooo 2005! High-waisted jeans are in, and fashionista Mary Jane of all people would be aware of this. Unless we're talking about that "time-lag" thing in the Marvel Universe in which Nova isn't pushing 50.

2. It's missing the Peter Parker statue that goes right behind it of him going "heheheheheh" with a big submarine in his pants.

3. Look, I don't care how much you love somebody -- I don't smile like that while doing laundry! In a bucket! A bucket! What is she, Carolyn Ingalls from "Little House On The Prairie?!"

This being said, I would like to add for the record (for Santa's ears only) that the hottie Tobey Maguire Medicom action figure is a must-have for my list. But only if his thong-straps show above his low-riders.

Misogyny R' Us
Now you can buy your very own collection of misogynist action figures!
Intimidate your HeroClix!
Scare your annoying sister!
Tell your teacher to p**s off!

Stuntman Mike

Patrick Bateman
"Rapist No. 1"

McFarlane's Interpretation Of Baum Classic
Stephanie-Torturer

Beating Dead Horse

David G. came up with one more:
"Mommy, I want an action figure
of the guy who slugged Janet Van Dyne"
"Well, you just blew your allowance on
Rapist No. 1 & Black Mask...maybe for Christmas."

Which Should Be My New Screensaver?

The Mid-Life Crisis Of Marilyn Manson

Now look, this post isn't a diss on Marilyn Manson. I *like* Marilyn Manson. So when I heard he had a new video out, I was really interested in watching it.

But really, I felt like vomiting on my keyboard after viewing "Heart Shaped Glasses." Since it's Manson, I suppose maybe that lends the video some "street cred." But.

Basically, the singer's real-life soap opera with his teenage (19) girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood is played out in this 8-minute video. "Heart Shaped Glasses" of course refers to the film "Lolita," about a man falling in love with a teenage girl.

We are first treated to a too-long introductory scene of Manson strangling Wood as they are having sex. Look, I have a healthy appetite for erotica as much as the next blogger, but this was damn near unbearable. Manson's playful androgeny that I found so appealling earlier in his career is now frozen in the standard middle-aged actress plastic-looking mask. But more than that, I can feel the unhappiness and exhaustion coming off him in waves. Most depressing sex scene EVER.

Then switch to Manson & Wood driving recklessly in his car. Wood steers the car with her bare foot from the passenger side. Manson says "I love you" but Wood doesn't hear. I lower the volume on my computer so the inevitable crash doesn't bust my eardrums.

But then, after a faux-concert sequence, we are again in Manson's bedroom. The pair are drenched in blood, and I kind of think Manson's killed her. Great. And I think Manson is still making love to her corpse, but I can't be sure.

What did Evan Rachel Wood think when given the script for this video?

At the end of "Heart Shaped Glasses," the two commit suicide by driving off a cliff.

I think Manson's got issues. Like, more issues than the original runs of "Amazing Spiderman," "The Mighty Thor," and Detective Comics" all put together. He's clearly torn about dating a girl half his age. He's clearly angry about something.

And maybe I'm getting soft, but the imagery of Wood lying in a pool of her own blood while Manson fondles her just didn't do it for me this afternoon. I think Alice Cooper kinda pulled off necrophilia better.

Super-Girl Meets Bat-Boy

(click for larger image)