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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

"Comic Books Will Destroy You"


How many times have I heard variations of this theme from old-time collectors, veteran comic book writers, jaded editors?

How many times?

That's what I thought about as I read EZ-STREET by Robert Tinnell & Mark Wheatley on Comic Mix. (The entire graphic novel is being serialized there for free, by the way).


I quoteth from EZ-STREET:

...I'm trying to save you from a lifetime of misery.

See -- you can be really, really good at something-- anything-- when it comes to the arts-- and it won't matter.

It's all about networking and ass-kissing and--

Frankly, it's about surviving. Winning the war of attrition. Which takes resources...

I'm not being mean. I'm telling you this because I like you...

You need to give this shit up right now. Before it's too late.

Do you want to be thirty-five years old owning nothing but deft on a credit card? Trying to break into a business you love? And finally realizing the dirty little secret--

That it doesn't love you back?!

Compare this to other off-the-record quotes I've heard in my career:

"Once you hit a certain age, you're not the flavor-of-the-month anymore. They want the flavor-of-the-month. The editors, they want to be rock stars. They want to hang out with beautiful, interesting people. And it doesn't matter if you can do the job, or what you did for them in the past. You're nothing to them anymore."

*** *** ***

"Look, if Michelangelo stepped into this office right now, I couldn't give him work unless he was a big name. I can only use big names."

*** *** ***

"Sorry I didn't make it in for the meeting today, but my arm just got numb for no reason. Doctor wanted to check it out. It was weird."

and later, the same person,

"They found me unconscious on my bathroom floor. For no reason. One moment you're awake and the next you're not."

and later, the same person,

"I'm just going to put my time in, and get out. Just another couple of years is all."

*** *** ***

"The problem is that they think comic books owes them. That's the problem with hiring fans."

*** *** ***

"I don't hate the man. But he was an alcoholic and bi-polar and he made the lives of everyone around him miserable. And yeah, I guess I hated him."

*** *** ***

"He never recovered from having to do that. He was too nice."

*** *** ***

"And then after she was fired she had all her belongings put out in the hallway for people to take."

"Did she give her time to take her stuff?"

"Nope. I think there's still stuff there. Do you want to come see if there's anything left?"

*** *** ***

"And nobody even had the decency to tell me about the new team. I had to find out on Newsarama."

*** *** ***

"And I asked them why I wasn't being hired anymore, give me a reason. I mean, what else am I good at?"

*** *** ***

(gesturing to his office)

"One day I'm getting out and selling all this on eBay. And I'm going to live like a king. I may even go to the Bahamas."

*** *** ***

"F**k that s**t, I do commercial art now."

*** *** ***

About a fairly famous comic writer:

"He's not that great a writer. But he's a great networker. He knows just what to say. And that's how he built this."

*** *** ***

"So everybody gets laid off except the same core people who have been drinking with each other every week. Funny how that works out."

*** *** ***

"I made him what he is today. Back then, he was just this greasy, nerdy fan. Didn't know how to dress. I had to teach him how to dress!"

"I-isn't that him two tables down?"

"S**t!"

*** *** ***

"I remember he picked up this desk and just threw it into the wall. And he was the type of quiet, serious guy who didn't do things like that."

*** *** ***

Heard multiple times about numerous persons:

"He's a brilliant artist. Too bad he's on the coke."

*** *** ***

"So one day he calls three of us into his office. And my friend tells me, 'you know, he's going to fire us. And I'm okay about it, but I'm worried about BLANK. I think BLANK, when he hears this, is going to break his neck. And so I need you to do something. If BLANK makes a move like he's going to break his neck, you gotta help me hold him back. You hear me? I'm serious, man. BLANK's gonna kill that mother f**ker. Promise me you'll help me hold him back!'"

*** *** ***

"I'm going to put these letters back here. And so if I die, you'll have proof of who did it."

*** *** ***

(announced multiple times)

"That's it. Today's the day I'm going to quit. I mean it. You'll have to do all this stuff yourself for now on, sorry. You'll have to tell them I moved on."

(never did it)

*** *** ***

"Great artist, horrible human being."

*** *** ***

"Great writer, horrible human being."

*** *** ***

"Great editor, horrible human being."

*** *** ***

"Have you ever heard the one about Wally Wood?"

*** *** ***

Advice on writing comics:

"Read books, dammit! You already read enough comics. Read some f**king books!"

*** *** ***

"But when all is said and done, I really believe he loves those characters."




13 comments:

  1. Comic books may destroy me, but I'll take 'em down with me. ;)

    Otherwise I remain cautiously optimistic about my potential future career in the funnybook business.

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  2. One of the things I learned from The Wire: different industries, same game, no matter where you go.

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  3. Terence Chua said...

    One of the things I learned from The Wire: different industries, same game, no matter where you go.


    Buy for a dollar, see for two?

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  4. Yeah, sorry, but stuff like this becomes less shocking when you've worked in other industries that have the same problems. And that, I'm afraid, is many industries. I think for people on the outside of comics it may come as a blow to learn that corporate comics isn't some Utopian artists' colony; but really, it's probably better to know that going in, right?

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  5. Really, nothing against the Man, but the problem is Stan Lee. More specifically, Stan Lee's Bullpen Bulletins. Remember those? Remember those casual, friendly, fun little chats about the wonderful world behind the scenes at Marvel, and how great it seemed?

    It wasn't. But Stan is a great writer, especially when it comes to selling dreams, and he made all the fans believe that comics were a fun place to work, where you got to hang out with a bunch of great buddies and do fun stuff and write/draw super-heroes all the time. And it's not like anyone was going out and contradicting him...heck, most companies didn't even talk about what went on behind the scenes.

    And so that myth became what fans perceived the comics industry to be like, and ever since, going to work in the comics industry has been a tale of getting that illusion shattered.

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  6. "Read books, dammit! You already read enough comics. Read some f**king books!"

    I need to do this...

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  7. I imagine to some extent you can really enjoy what you are doing and just kind of get through the crappy office politics stuff. A lot of jobs are like that.

    Me, I've got paid vacation until February then summer off. College teaching rules!

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  8. Gasp and choke, who knew that having a professional career had a downside?

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  9. "you know,You're a nice guy. I just don't think you have what it takes to be in comics."

    That former editor recently asked me if I knew anyone he could talk to about getting work.
    17 years
    God knows how many pages.
    Still chugging along.

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  10. Wow! Comics sounds just like the cellular phone industry! I swear all those quotes came out of my office!

    It's all the same. Corporations *suck* to work for. It's the exact same game no matter where you end up.

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  11. sorry, but i had to steal a couple quotes from this for the one that I was writing. I had actually started on a post about this twice and then didn't end up finishing it. Guess that I wasn't sure about demoralizing those that would love to still see comics as a bit of a utopia. Or at least a viable career option.

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  12. Graphic designer here, working at a big educational services company. Been there five years, and I've either had or heard a lot of the feelings expressed in those quotes. Perhaps comics people know where the better bars are.

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  13. I'm slightly disappointed that there wasn't a numbered list at the bottom where we got to match names to the quotes. The answer key would have been too long I suppose...

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