The passing of Jerry Falwell had me thinking...

Wasn't he very anti-pornography?

Wouldn't he have been outraged by some of the sexed-up comic book product being put out nowadays?

Wouldn't he want to have them banned?

We'd all have been pretty outraged if someone like him had started a campaign to ban and suppress such images, wouldn't we?

Interesting.

Couldn't feminists and evangelists temporarily bury the hatchet and go after pornography?

Like, it could be a superhero team.

Falwell could be like Professor X.

And then they can go out kicking ass, ridding the world of "Hustler" and "Penthouse."

Larry Flynt could be like Magneto or something.

And then when the two groups get rid of all the porn,

they could duke it out over reproductive rights

That could be a 4-issue limited series. Or maybe stretched out into a "52" type event.

Just a germ of an idea.

My Final Word On It

Hey, it's nice to have a cause to rally around, even if -- as in the case of the MJ Comiquette -- it's a little on the shallow side. If it makes you feel good, you just keep doing it. Keep looking at these issues as black-and-white cases of "evil patriarchy" vs. "defenders of right." The most popular opinions are knee-jerk & one-sided, because they're the easiest to comprehend and provide a ready outlet to pour out all one's righteous indignation. Thinking in shades of gray, trying to comprehend the other side's point of view -- it's not as satisfying. But that is what I'm trying to do in this blog, even if sometimes I fail.

My favorite commentators in the media are always the ones who take the annoying "third path," who don't tow the party line. Bill Maher, Tucker Carlson, Camille Paglia. Not exactly a beloved crew.

My problem with the comics blogosphere, or the blogosphere in general, is that it is very polarized. This should be the perfect medium to split hairs, to examine, to see all sides, but it's more often than not a dumping ground for one extreme view or another.

It's not enough to preach to the choir.

And real change involves seeing the other side's point of view and talking to them as if they are intelligent human beings and not slime on your shoe who bought a cheesecake statue.

I make fun of dirty keyword searches -- but as long as they don't involve minors or anybody who is going out cutting women's heads off, it's their prerogative. I'd rather talk to these people and find out why they have a need to see superheroine rape than cut them out of the dialogue. And I have. And you know what? Getting one man who likes that sort of pornography to say, "I always liked this stuff but I never questioned why until I read your blog and now I realize that I have issues to be worked out" will make more change than twenty pages of "bad bad bad patriarchy bad bad bad oppression bad bad bad."

Anyway, Dirk Deppey is a man who made it a point to include a "When Fangirls Attack" link on his blog every day. I don't know him very well, but he has been nice to me. Of course, what he wrote is polarizing, and most of whom it is directed to will immediately close up their ears and go "nonononononono." And that's the rhythm of a lot of the discourse on the internet. And then you give up trying to change things and go on BoingBoing to get pictures of beatniks or DIY instructions on how to build a magazine rack out of duct tape. And that's where I'm off to right now.

Mary Jane Comiquette Statue Fight Now On Level Of The American Civil Rights Movement.

A comment left on the previous post:

Okay, I need to get this off my chest.

Occasional Superheroine, I do believe you are wrong-very wrong- on the "overly excessive argument"

I am reminded me of a line from Martin Luthor King's Letter from A Birmingham jail, where he comments about how he was told to "wait".

Yes, if only we can get Sideshow Collectible & Marvel Entertainment to pull the MJ statue, we may win freedom for our people. We too may be able to vote, to share the same water fountains with fanboys.

It starts with one woman: Mary Jane Watson. If we can liberate her from the twin evils of cheesecakery and blissful housewivery, it will be the crucial blow against the patriarchy that we need to turn the tide.

But first -- Stephanie must get her trophy case.

Oh, news just in -- Stephanie & Mary Jane NOT REAL PEOPLE.

Here's some links regarding the real oppression of women -- real women, not comic book characters:

Afghan girls struggling to get education

Women enslaved in global sex trade

Domestic violence

Now go compare your struggle as a comic book fan angry that Stephanie doesn't have a trophy case to the s**t these women went through.

I mean, the MJ and Stephanie and Power Girl discussions, they're a good start. It's like school. Graduate from school, and apply all that passion and sense of social justice towards something in our reality. You can still discuss Power Girl. But break it up a little bit. Maybe devote 50% of your bandwith to Stephanie getting her trophy case, and 50% to Afghan women setting themselves on fire because their lives are so damn miserable. Or maybe 75% Stephanie, 25% Russian sex slaves. Or maybe two pages of posts on "Fangirls Attack" on MJ, one page on domestic violence in Canada. Maybe I'll stop being such a self-absorbed snarky blogger myself. You don't think I read about the real s**t that goes on in this world and feel like a jackass sometimes for the stupid fangirl s**t I write about?

Oh, Snap...

Dirk Deppey's response to "Fangirl" outrage over the Sideshow Mary Jane statue just made my jaw hit the keyboard. I'm serious, my chin just about knocked out "V," "B," & "<":

"A scroll through the last few days of When Fangirls Attack links reveals less a collection of feminist criticism than a sloppy combination of knee-jerk outrage and reactionary herdthink with which the Attacking Fangirl contingent has gotten embarrassingly comfortable in recent months — sort of a distributed John Byrne Forum for she-nerds every bit as engorged on their own inflated sense of entitlement and inability to see past gender assumptions as the goofiest he-nerd on the Internet."

and

"So why the big freakout over a harmless statuette? I’d say it had to do with the earlier point raised: the fangirl’s inflated sense of entitlement, and the unwillingness of the rest of the world to feed it. It’s no different than the complaints that fanboys lodge over the perceived injustices of the funnybook world, of course, though they usually don’t waste time trying to wrap their enormous self-involvement in pseudo-ethical trappings. Fangirls, however, seem to need that extra step."

and

"Like it or not, superhero comics are made by and for men. That doesn’t mean that’s all they can ever be, but that’s the way it is now, and until female fans gain enough economic clout to dictate terms, they’re going to remain safely ignorable. Want to change that? Make the fucking comics and build the audience you need to affect change."

But you should really read the entire lengthy commentary to put this all in perspective and get the full drift of what he's saying.

As for what *I* think of all this...

Read my previous post.
But to clarify:
There is a need for comics feminism. I think bloggers have the right to make fun of something that seems ridiculous or offensive. But the problem with the MJ controversy is that it ends up looking so excessive that it starts to erode the credibility of the cause. Remember right after editors were suddently switched on "Supergirl" and I posted that I thought fan pressure did it, but not to get too cocky? Well, this is what I meant. And it's not that people shouldn't stop expressing themselves. I'm just saying that to people outside a certain branch of the comic blogging community, the MJ-outrage thing looks obsessive and maybe even a little...peevish? I dunno. There is no easy answer to it. Hell, I blogged about the statue too. And I blogged about the Power Girl cover to death. But I'm just saying...

Sideshow MJ Statue SOLD OUT
or
"There's A Market For It"

Confirming what I suspected, that despite three pages of "When Fangirls Attack" links slamming the "barefoot sexy laundress" Spiderman collectible, there is a "silent majority" who still snap these suckers up.

My questions:

1. If there is a confirmed market for this sort of art & collectibles, doesn't DC & Marvel have the right to produce them?

2. Do said items hurt the "rep" of these properties so much to certain readers & potential readers that it isn't worth the extra sales? Or would the people that would be offended by the Mary Jane & Supergirl statues tend not to enjoy the majority of mainstream superhero comic offerings anyway?

3. As a super-model & devoted housewife, how much does the Mary Jane "Comiquette" deviate from what we know of this character? Is such a scene regarding Mary Jane, a dirty Spidersuit, and heaving breasts completely out of the realm of possibility in the Spiderman universe? As married adults in a still-playful, sexually-charged relationship, would MJ & Peter ever exchange randy looks while performing household chores?

4. If the Comiquette featured Jean Grey, Sue Richards, or Storm would it be even more offensive? Why or why not?

5. How much of the offense taken by this statue has to do with the fact that MJ is doing Peter's laundry? Is there some sense that a wife doing her husband's laundry is demeaning in-and-of-itself?

6. The Mary Jane statue is an obvious allusion to the classic cheesecake pinups of old, where women are posed in sutuations that make no damn sense whatsoever for the sake of showing off their curves. Are these allusions ok? Or should they only be used with less iconic female characters? Or should they be stopped completely?

Finally,

Is there any reader who actually LIKES and/or ordered this statue or the Supergirl/Catwoman ones who would be brave enough to drop me an email or leave a comment?

I'm just playing devil's advocate here, I like to see all sides of the debate.

My own answers:

1. Yes

2. Yes & No.

3. I don't think this scene is so unthinkable. But it definitely doesn't show the full range of the character.

4. Yes, it would be more offensive because their primary roles are being active crimefighters, not supermodels/housewives.

5. There is a DEFINITE bias against women/wives doing household work in play here in a number of the criticisms. This image seems to trigger off this automatic sense of persecution, of being told that "women should be barefoot and pregnant." And yet this domestic image is one I rarely if ever see depicted in superhero collectibles. It's an oddball. And I don't think its purpose is to say that all women should "know their place." It's purpose is to titillate, beginning-and-end-of-story. She could have just as easily been fishing or laying down laminate flooring. But there are also women who take pride in doing housework, making babies, etc., and there is a stigma to an extent placed on these women in popular culture -- that they are "anti-feminist," unambitious, walking anachronisms, victims, the oppressed, brainwashed Stepford Wives. And that attitude is in itself biased.

6. There has to be a place for it. But it's very tricky with iconic characters like MJ, Supergirl, Wonder Woman, et al.

The Daily Gilgongo for May 14, 2007

Let the Superheroes Unite playlist on Napster be the soundtrack to your life, and enjoy such melodies as Queen's "Flash," Black Sabbath's "Iron Man," and Styx's "Captain America." What, no "Magneto and Titanium Man?"

Dirk Deppey at Journalista! responds to the whole "Comics Aren't For Girls" controversy with an excellent dissection of why this image is disturbing:"…isn’t that it’s misogynist, but that it’s fucking ridiculous. This looks like sexual-fetish material, sure, but it would have exactly the same weird-ass vibe if both of the depicted characters were men. This image isn’t “sexist,” it’s emotionally stunted. Wrapped in the garb of teenage fantasy, it cannot help but take on an air of unreality that no infusion of sex or violence will dispel. Sixty years of accumulated kiddybook clichés won’t suddenly become adult reading material if you add lesbian relationships, hardcore gore or extended scenes of chartered accountancy; the latter only throw spotlights on the childishness of the former."

But let's forget all this heavy talk of kiddybook cliches and discuss something that really matters: like this cute Persian kitten with a Batman cowl! Awwwww...I just forgot all about Darfur!

Kyle Baker's "Heroine" cartoon (right-hand side) tells the tale of one mother's search to find acceptable comic book role models for her little girl. Via Comic Mix.

Former peaceniks Lego are now making little Lego guns for their little Lego men so they can have little Lego chest-wounds and have little Lego pro-firearm rallies with a little Lego Charlton Heston.

This just in -- Captain America still dead.

Finally, here's a clip of James Marsden singing "Witchcraft" on the "Ally McBeal Show." Why post this, you may ask? Because I can...because I can.

Fun With Keyword Searches, Mother's Day Edition!

(actual keyword searches used to find my blog)

"big racks girls" -- this is the name of one of those newfangled girl bands, isn't it? Or a bowling team?

"brad meltzer sexist" -- you know, when Brad first got that call from DC saying "hey, would you like to write our latest JLA event?," I'll bet keyword searches like this popping up on Google was the furthest thing from his mind.

"supergirl rape" -- obviously written by some serious feminist scholar looking for research.

"superheroines raped" -- who wakes up at eight-0-clock-in-the-f**king-morning and decides to look this up? On the Lord's day, to boot!

"superheroine distress" -- that's what I'm just starting to get...time for Midol.

and, my favorite, just in time for Mother's Day:
"old lady mammaries"

Thank you, thank you, I have a million of them, thank you!

Review: The "New Look" Betty &Veronica
read the 5-page preview here

Running in "Betty & Veronica Double Digest" #s 151-154 is the storyline "Bad Boy Trouble," featuring the much-hyped "New Look." Gone are the trademark Dan DeCarlo snub noses and black-dotted eyes, traded in for a "realistic" art style. What could have prompted Archie Comics to meddle with a formula that's worked for 50+ years?

An article in The New Yorker a few months back discussed the "Barbie Vs. Bratz" syndrome -- how, basically, little girls were abandoning in droves the classic fashion doll for her "hip" rival. Now, the Barbie sculpt is a bit more realistic than the Margaret Keane-eyed, monster-footed Bratz. But the Bratz *are* more "adult" -- more, frankly, sexualized. And girls as young as eight are choosing these more adult dolls over "Barbie's Fairy Princess Party."

It's a good point to remember -- the girls *themselves* are making the choices here. Maybe they are heavily influenced by pop-culture and their environment. But they're pushing the lever, they're making the consumer choice. And if you don't believe me, hang out in the doll section of Toys R Us sometime.

Personally, I think that is part of the motivation for the "New Look" Betty & Veronica. Part publicity fodder, part marketing experiment. And Veronica Lodge -- *the* Veronica Lodge, not her "doppleganger" -- is showing a bit of insecurity over the whole deal:

"Riverdale High was invaded today by THEM. No, not 8-legged, brain-sucking aliens – aliens would have been much LESS scary!

No, RHS was invaded by “The Faux Duo” – the fake “US”. No, they didn’t actually show up – I don’t think they have the nerve to do that. SOMEBODY put one of their new Makeover Comics – B&V Digest #151, INSIDE MY LOCKER! I found it when I got to school this morning.

What did I do? I screamed. Then I went to the nurse’s office for an hour. I don’t know where the awful thing went; Betty said it’s making the rounds through school. She hasn’t seen it yet, either."

The art for the "Faux Duo" -- by the team of Stephen Butler & Al Milgrom -- is cute and fun, though, especially with the huge eyes, not *that* much more realistic. The realism, if anywhere, is to be found in a) the fashions & b) the figures. The"New Look" takes a cue from Bratz and clothes "B & V" in contemporary, form-fitting outfits. Not that the girls are drawn particularly buxom or "slutty" -- but when "New Look"ed, the wasp-waists and modest bosoms of the girls look a lot more noticeable.

The "Bad Boy" of the story's title, one "Nick," wears a leather jacket, heavy metal T-shirt, gold medallions, and a soul-patch. Yes, a soul-patch. Nick regales Betty & Veronica with a host of clever come-on lines:

"Hey! Chill, Blondie! A saint I ain't! Where I come from, folks don't pay for what they can get for free!"

"Forget your friends. Come on, let's go for a spin on my cycle!"

"You act like sneaking into a movie theater is a major crime. Believe me...I've done worse things."

I'm not sure if it is writer Melanie J. Morgan's intention to mark Nick right off the bat as a total creep, or if he is supposed to have that charming, roguish, "Spike from Buffy" quality that "grows" on you over time. But I immediately hated this guy. So does Betty:

"I have the ominous feeling that Nick st. Clair is bad news."

However, Veronica *so* completely falls for Nick after roughly 5 minutes of conversation that she hops on the back of his motorcyle and rides off with him.

Here's where things get a big murky in this story.

1) Is Veronica *that* dumb and naive as to leave for God-knows-where with a young man she barely knows, especially one who is so obviously, as Betty says, "bad news?"

2) The scene with Veronica leaving with Nick is immediately followed with Betty worrying sick about her, noting that she won't even answer her cell phone. Then the concerned girl rushes to Mr. Lodge's mansion to apprise him of the situation. This is a little intense for an Archie comic. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be done. But I've just never read anything this realistic in one of those comics before.

And yes, it is a bit realistic. How many otherwise-intelligent girls fall for boys who have "trainwreck" plainly written all over them? As Veronica explains,

"I find him mysterious and exciting."

I should also note that opportunist Nick initially hits on Betty, only to turn to Veronica when he finds out that her father is a billionaire. Again, is writer Morgan using this to illustrate what a total wretch Nick is, or does she really plan to make us care about him in some way? I think the 4-parter could work if Veronica gradually learns -- the hard way -- that Nick is no good. That would be a very capitvating, hard-hitting "teen" story. But if he becomes one of those "hoodlums with a heart of gold" that messes up Ronnie's life 5 ways to Sunday only to be taken back again and again -- it's time to put that tired old cliche to rest.

Interestingly, the last cover of the series features Betty with Nick. I'm hoping it's just a ruse by Responsible Betty to get Nick out of her life once and for all.

As for my final verdict on the "New Look" Betty & Veronica -- it's an interesting idea, but I don't think I'd want to live there. The Bob Montana/Dan DeCarlo look gives "Archie" its unique & iconic pop-cultural currency. Ultimately, through book sales as well as licensing, it is worth more to the publisher than any experiment.

But also, I wouldn't give a girl under the age of 12 a copy of "Bad Boy Trouble" to read. What I always liked about "Archie Classic" was its inherent "all ages" quality. Unlike many contemporary superhero comics, I wouldn't have to think twice about handing "Betty & Veronica" or "Jughead's Jokes" to an 8-year old. But I don't want to let Nick St. Clair or the faux-Veronica's apparent lack of common sense anywhere near my theoretical rugrat.

The Daily Gilgongo!
For May 12th, 2007

The "Mickey Jihad" video. Some little girls collect Polly Pocket, some call for worldwide Islamic control.

Matt Groening's son wishes father was Seth MacFarlane. "Playboy" interview via ComicMix.

Hey, I weigh as much as Elektra Natchios! And I better gain some f**king weight! Karen Healey & Terry D. Johnson's "Comparative Sex-Specific Body Mass Index In The Marvel Universe and the Real World"

How To Make Han Solo Carbonite Candy Bar. Do you eat the head first or the feet? Via BoingBoing.

Here's shocking video from Spain of what appears to be...a demon! Or Gollum. Or maybe even Britney on a verrrrry bad day.

And finally, Johanna at Comics Worth Reading says, "Superhero Comics Aren't For Girls":
"That doesn’t mean that they’re 100% enjoyed by only members of that gender, but it does make the cross-gender participants exceptions. It’s great that those oddballs (said lovingly, since I’m one too) have used the net to find each other." I remember when I was a little girl, and wanted nothing more than to grow up and be a "cross-gender participant exception." I think I'm almost there.

I'm Riiiiiiitch!!!

My blog is worth $98,229.96.
How much is your blog worth?

So what happens now, does somebody send me a check?

The Daily Gilgongo! For May 11, 2007

Noted Asian-American actress Jessica Biel has reportedly been tapped to play Chun Li in the new "Streetfighter" movie, according to the Latino Review. She was offered the role after such powerhouse Asian actresses as Jessica Alba and Keira Knightley turned it down. No word if Filipina actress Drew Barrymore might also be in the running.

"When Fangirls Attack!" celebrated its 400th post yesterday. Between Ragnell & Kalinara and regular "Occasional Superheroine" tipster Sammy I've been able to seem like I'm on the pulse of comic feminism for, like, months.

MTV is apparently looking for a few good virgins in, of all places, a comic book shop: "MTV is casting a fun, new documentary style reality series about relationships & dating from a male perspective. We're looking for virgin guys (21 & up) on their quest to break out of their shell & improve their love life." Um, dating comic book fan and having no problems on this front. Okay, dated comic book fan before comic book fan and had broken vagina. But not a virgin in sight.

Does this screen still show Paris Hilton cameoing in Spiderman 3?! Or just a creepy lookalike designed to distract authorities while she hightails it to Guam to avoid her jail sentence? And if Paris was a Spidey villain, what would her name be?

Newsarama interviews the man behind the "I'm A Marvel/I'm A DC" video, who wants to go on record as saying he "really doesn't hate Superman!" No, he doesn't hate Superman...he only compared him to a PC!

Brian Bolland threatens to sue fan for dissing his commission sketch online? Say it isn't so! Via Journalista!

Lastly, this piece of rare, Disney-approved poster art featuring Donald Duck teaching soliders about proper...protection...is wrong on so many levels. But it helped cut down on wartime STD transmissions by 36%.

The Limits Of Free Speech?
or
Rape As A Comedic Device

I just heard this lovely exchange from XM's "The Opie And Anthony Show" describing the graphic sexual assault of Condoleezza Rice:

Homeless Charlie: "I'll tell you what -- what's that George Bush b**tch, um, Rice? Condoleezza Rice? I'd love to f**k that b**tch. She needs a f**king man."

Anthony: "I'm just imagining the horror in Condoleezza Rice's face...as she just realizes that you're holding her down and f**king her."

Homeless Charlie: "Punching her all in her f**king face: shut up, b**tch..."

Anthony: "That's exactly what I meant."

Ah. Rape as a comedic device. I believe the Greek humorist Aristophanes first popularized this.

Is this unpleasant exchange a case where free speech should be limited? As one of the most popular radio shows in America, should "The Opie and Anthony Show"' be held accountable for an exchange that makes light of rape? If Don Imus got sacked for his comments, should they as well?

Or is entertainment like this just a release for all the ugly, repulsive, racist, sexist, misanthrophic urges that lie lizard-like and dormant in the hearts of a section of the population? Does a show like this create the problem, or merely mirror it?

"Is This In Continuity?"

I pick up a copy of Alex Ross's "Justice #11 at the comic store and ask the store clerk:

Me: "So, is this in DC continuity?"
Clerk: "It might be."
Me: "Is this in current DC continuity?"
Clerk: "It quite possibly might be in current DC continuity."
Me: "Does this story have any impact on current DC continuity?"
Clerk: "It's very possible."
Me: "Is this an Elseworlds or something?"
Clerk: "Not exactly."
Me: "So it's in continuity?"
Clerk: "Kind of."
Me: "Okay, Supergirl is wearing her puffy-sleeved disco outfit here."
Clerk: "Apparently."
Me: "So...um...I'm going to just pretend it's in continuity."
Clerk: "Can I interest you in the two volumes of hardback reprints--"
Me: "NO!"

What's Wrong With This Statue?

1. Everybody knows that low-riders are soooo 2005! High-waisted jeans are in, and fashionista Mary Jane of all people would be aware of this. Unless we're talking about that "time-lag" thing in the Marvel Universe in which Nova isn't pushing 50.

2. It's missing the Peter Parker statue that goes right behind it of him going "heheheheheh" with a big submarine in his pants.

3. Look, I don't care how much you love somebody -- I don't smile like that while doing laundry! In a bucket! A bucket! What is she, Carolyn Ingalls from "Little House On The Prairie?!"

This being said, I would like to add for the record (for Santa's ears only) that the hottie Tobey Maguire Medicom action figure is a must-have for my list. But only if his thong-straps show above his low-riders.

Misogyny R' Us
Now you can buy your very own collection of misogynist action figures!
Intimidate your HeroClix!
Scare your annoying sister!
Tell your teacher to p**s off!

Stuntman Mike

Patrick Bateman
"Rapist No. 1"

McFarlane's Interpretation Of Baum Classic
Stephanie-Torturer

Beating Dead Horse

David G. came up with one more:
"Mommy, I want an action figure
of the guy who slugged Janet Van Dyne"
"Well, you just blew your allowance on
Rapist No. 1 & Black Mask...maybe for Christmas."

Which Should Be My New Screensaver?

The Mid-Life Crisis Of Marilyn Manson

Now look, this post isn't a diss on Marilyn Manson. I *like* Marilyn Manson. So when I heard he had a new video out, I was really interested in watching it.

But really, I felt like vomiting on my keyboard after viewing "Heart Shaped Glasses." Since it's Manson, I suppose maybe that lends the video some "street cred." But.

Basically, the singer's real-life soap opera with his teenage (19) girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood is played out in this 8-minute video. "Heart Shaped Glasses" of course refers to the film "Lolita," about a man falling in love with a teenage girl.

We are first treated to a too-long introductory scene of Manson strangling Wood as they are having sex. Look, I have a healthy appetite for erotica as much as the next blogger, but this was damn near unbearable. Manson's playful androgeny that I found so appealling earlier in his career is now frozen in the standard middle-aged actress plastic-looking mask. But more than that, I can feel the unhappiness and exhaustion coming off him in waves. Most depressing sex scene EVER.

Then switch to Manson & Wood driving recklessly in his car. Wood steers the car with her bare foot from the passenger side. Manson says "I love you" but Wood doesn't hear. I lower the volume on my computer so the inevitable crash doesn't bust my eardrums.

But then, after a faux-concert sequence, we are again in Manson's bedroom. The pair are drenched in blood, and I kind of think Manson's killed her. Great. And I think Manson is still making love to her corpse, but I can't be sure.

What did Evan Rachel Wood think when given the script for this video?

At the end of "Heart Shaped Glasses," the two commit suicide by driving off a cliff.

I think Manson's got issues. Like, more issues than the original runs of "Amazing Spiderman," "The Mighty Thor," and Detective Comics" all put together. He's clearly torn about dating a girl half his age. He's clearly angry about something.

And maybe I'm getting soft, but the imagery of Wood lying in a pool of her own blood while Manson fondles her just didn't do it for me this afternoon. I think Alice Cooper kinda pulled off necrophilia better.

Super-Girl Meets Bat-Boy

(click for larger image)

My Most Angry, Balls-Out Hard-Hitting Post Yet!



Robin: Holy Estrogen, Batman! Could it be that Occasional Superheroine has...gotten soft?!

Batman: Soft? Yes, Boy Wonder. She's gotten soft. Soft like a fluffy loaf of freshly-baked bread.

Robin: But will nothing break her out of this semi-hibernative state of pacifistic bunny-loving?

Batman: Oh, I'll give her about...15-20 days. Hopefully.

(blogger's note: "PMS" humor is soooo lowbrow and stereotypical against women)

Fun With Keyword Searches

Here's a list of the keyword searches that led people to my blog this afternoon. I always find this fascinating, as most of the keywords are for superheroine porn/misogyny. Now look, I'm not banging the drum and saying,"this is wrooooong! oh God, the world is ending! someone typed superheroine boob!" But I do find it interesting.

The first keyword search phrase is,
"punching superheroines"
This phrase was typed in twice in Google. Does the user mean, superheroines punching things? Or, which I kind of think is more likely (based, if nothing else, on the rest of the keywords), superheroines being punched?

The next I'm going to group together, as they are related.
"supergirl horny"
and
"supergirl minor sexy"
I know there has been a lot of head-scratching recently about that DC Direct f**k-doll Supergirl mini-statue. "Who would buy something that exploitative?" Well, at least we have two customers right here.

Next,
"power girl raped"
That's pretty ugly, isn't it? And yet the keyword "rape" in association with superheroines are quite popular -- they are listed in the recent keyword searches for my blog almost every day.

"wonder woman boob"
Now, this is fairly innocuous. It's almost rather quaint.

"superheroine distress"
This is another popular one. There is a whole cottage industry of soft-core porn sites dedicated to this topic. In fact, if you do a Google search on "superheroine," my blog comes up like third or fourth -- the first handful of results are always porn.

There are two search terms left for today --
"superheroine"
and
"occasional superheroine"

Actually, I get the search phrase "occasional superheroine" a lot, and that actually makes me feel kinda good.

Then I'll get a search term like "Nancy Pelosi topless" and that kind of spoils things.

***

So what, if anything, can we infer out of this list of keyword searches?

One thing that's pretty clear to me is,
There are a lot of people out there that want to see superheroines raped.
This is based on reading these keyword searches on my blog stat meter regularly.

Let me say that again.

There is a fair number of people out there that want to see superheroines raped, humiliated, abused, beaten, punched, whipped, burned, and shot.

There is a market for it.

And there are also lots of people who want to see Power Girl with her top off. And you know, that's ok.

***

This isn't a call for censorship, ratings, finger-pointing, anything. This is a call to nothing, I'm just observing.

I Want My Spiderman TV!

In tribute to the premiere of Spiderman 3, here is a selection of choice webslinger clips, carefully handpicked, waxed, processed, and presented for your time-wasting pleasure.

"I'm a Marvel...And I'm a DC"


The Physics Of Gwen Stacey's Death


Tobey Maguire Meets Chuck Norris


Venom 101


Mary Jane Tryouts -- For David G.

Life As A DC "Cover Girl"

I trafficked DC cover art up and down the departments for almost four years. There was a long stretch of time in which literally EVERY "DC Universe" cover passed through my hands -- sketches, line art, finished digital files. I witnessed hundreds of covers evolve from ideas to the finished product. I had mini-meetings with every editorial team every month to evaluate the status of their covers, and how my office or other departments might be able to assist them.

I was known as the "cover girl."

DC took great pride in the quality of their covers. Matching the right artist to the right book was a well-thought-out process. There was a goal of making every cover a "grand slam," regardless if the comic was "A" or "C" list. "Nightwing" almost had the same priority as "Superman." In the end, the DC line had to look sharp across the board, across the shelves of comic shops everywhere.

And for the life of me, I really don't remember sexist covers being a big issue. That is to say, I cannot recall anything resembling a trend of covers that were demeaning to women. I mean, maybe I have "repressed memory" syndrome and there was an awful Catwoman cover with an impossibly-contorted torso and banana-nipples that scarred me for life -- but I'm telling you, I just don't remember a rampant misogynist situation with the covers.

Which is not to say that we didn't have "problem" covers that were vetoed or changed or went through with a chorus of rumbles behind them. We did. There were digital breast reductions, redraws, even a very uncomfortable conflict with one particular artist that almost led him to quit the title.

But in general, the cover office I worked for prided itself in not pushing out dreck -- whether the dreck be sexist or just horribly rendered. And who wouldn't be proud of non-dreckery?

Part of this is due to the fact that the graphic design department -- as were the production, promotions, and many other departments -- was relatively gender-diverse.

And part of this was due to the fact that the cover editor shaped the tone and quality of the art with a gentle but iron first. He asked for and expected quality. And this insistence on quality included the way females were rendered.

It wasn't that cheesecake was verboten. But if you're going to draw cheesecake, draw it well and don't wipe out all the humanity of the woman in the process.

As I mentioned before, there was one instance where a cover with cheesecake elements completely lacked that essential human spark, reducing the character in question to something eerily resembling a blow-up doll. I mean, a bravura rendering, all the bells and whistles, but in the end rather exploitative. And this cover was fought over. Bitterly. And I believe it was either changed completely or shot down. And it was nowhere even close to the infamous Justice League #10 cover.

Which leads me to ask,

How did the cover for Justice League #10 get through?

And will it make it to the stands?

And will it be reprinted in the trade-paperback...and be preserved in backlist heaven...forever?

Get Ready To Fly, Bitch -- Death Proof, Lonely Manifestos, and Killer Chick Flicks

Arlene: Yeah? Why don't you go get ready for your lapdance?
[Stuntman Mike gets up and walks back into the bar]
Arlene: Hey, Mike.
Stuntman Mike: Yeah?
Arlene: No touch.
Stuntman Mike: No.
Arlene: I touch you, you don't touch me.
Stuntman Mike: I know.
Arlene: Good.
--Grindhouse

“Young women now seem to want to behave like men and have sex without commitment. The signals they are giving are very confusing, and rage and humiliation build up in boys who are spurned again and again.”
-- Somewhat-Feminist Commentator Camille Paglia on the Virginia Tech shootings

WARNING: SPOILERS

I nearly walked out on Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" after the car accident scene. Actually , my boyfriend hid my eyes during most of it (after the brutal face-smashing of Rose McGowan's character), but I had already saw the gory photos in Fangoria.

Basically, a guy turns four young women into hamburger with his car after stalking them. His name is Stuntman Mike. It seems like such a random, inexplicable act, intentional vehicular homicide -- but really, it's not. Tarantino's loving, lingering shots of the women being sexy, flipping their hair or shaking their ass in slow motion, tell you everything you want to know. These girls are *teases*. They intentionally tease and unintentionally tease, but their message is clear -- they have the power, the power of pussy. And Mr. Middle-Aged StuntGuy in the Icy Hot jacket and the Baron Strucker scar just ain't gettin' any.

I almost walked out of "Death Proof." Several people did. I'm not sure if it was because of the extreme violence or the fact that they've been listening to several women yakking around a table "My Dinner With Andre" style for a half-an-hour.

I almost walked out of "Death Proof" and went home and wrote Quentin Tarantino a long e-mail telling him what a bloody misogynist he was. But I stayed. And Tarantino, as if reading my mind, "apologized." Because in the second half of the film, the women "win."

Stuntman Mike stalks and hunts down another set of girls. But, little does he know that these are badass stuntwomen who will turn the tables on him and rip him another asshole. I'm not sure if he dies by the end of the film, but he sure as hell takes a nasty beating.

So, is "Death Proof" a feminist film?

Um...

Here's my problem.

The way Stuntman Mike dispatches the first set of girls is brutal and realistic to the extreme.

The way "The Girls" dispatch Mike at the end of the film is comical.

Stuntman Mike literally tears his victims apart, obliterates them, wipes their "prettiness" off the map.

By the final credits, "The Girls" do a slapstick number on Mike, hitting him in slow-motion and jumping in glee when he falls defeated. It is not even clear whether he is dead, the way it is not clear if Wily E. Coyote is ever really killed.

Why are these deaths handled differently?

Does gender play a role?

Would realistic, brutal revenge against Mike at the hands of The Girls be too disturbing, would it ruin the "mood?"

***

In a Times Online article social commentator Camille Paglia placed the responsibility for the Virginia tech slayings partially at the feet of a society that, in her view, has "feminized" men and encourages women to be "teases." The author of the article itself goes a step further and seems almost to point the finger at the women on campus that reported the future killer for stalking them:

"Then there were the college girls who reported him to the police for stalking and got him carted off to mental hospital after he sent them shy love messages full of yearning."

Hey, maybe the "Death Proof" girls *were* teases. Maybe the girls at Virginia Tech's rejection of Cho's advances did send him over the edge. Maybe this culture *is* feminizing men.

Teases, rejectors, feminizers. Doesn't mean chicks gotta be ground into hamburger.

***

Is Quentin Tarantino anti-feminist or not? And hey, don't I get into a lot of trouble for these posts? A woman bringing up topics like: "is this misogynist or not?" I mean, I remember my "Black Snake Moan" post...

"But you didn't actually *see* Black Snake Moan," David G. says. "I mean..you didn't actually see the movie so you couldn't actually tell if it really was misogynist."

"Yeah, but I saw the marketing."

"But the marketing is just the marketing."

I sit and ruminate over this for a while. David adds,

"But you actually *saw* "Death Proof. So I think this is a good thing."

Is "Death Proof" pro-feminist or anti-feminist? Did Tarantino get off on the misogynist antics of Stuntman Mike or is this film ultimately a love-letter to the Tough Chick?

Tarantino's films, I think, are ultimately a reflection of society -- a reflection of the tough choices and messy, oft-amoral situations that keep making our species interesting.

But no, "Death Proof" isn't a feminist movie.

Gilgongo! Comics Seeks "Cover Decency Czar"

Job Opening, Immediate Hire:

Cover Decency Czar, Gilgongo! Comics.

Applicant must have at least BA or higher. Comic book experience preferred, but not entirely necessary. Perhaps you have spent time in a seminary. We'll admit it, we're looking for reactionary tight-asses. Be the Pig-Virus to our merry band of Howard Sterns. We'll back you up.

Applicant must know the difference between a rock-solid stiffie and merely a realistic flaccid organ -- and then still veto the flaccid organ. No male organs! Men don't want to see other men's organs, except for ones who are homosexual or bi. Don't get us wrong, we like homosexuals. We're very egalitarian. But really, if we lose the NASCAR audience, we're doomed. I mean, I know that Disney is doing okay, and they're openly accepting of alternative lifestyles. But what I'm trying to say is, looking at a honking big schlong on The Shnell, for example, a big ol' thing -- it makes me uncomfortable. As a man. Because it's creepy. It makes me scared, looking at that phallus. I'm not sure why. Lesbians are kind of cool, though.

Now, chicks-on-chicks -- very popular with the NASCAR crowd. But we can't have the big tits. Because that pisses off the female bloggers. And they're very loud and cranky. So we'll save them for the limited-edition maquettes. Women wouldn't be caught dead buying limited-edition maquettes.

So ideal applicant must have major stick up ass. Catholic guilt a plus. Radical feminist background a plus, but musn't get too liberal on the cock. Because too much cock makes me nervous, it makes me doubt my own masculinity. I want to pretend that nobody in this world has a cock but me. I really think that's what it means.

Fuck.

Anyway, that's our ad for Cover Decency Czar. I hope you liked it. You'll get one of those cool white markers to circle the crotches & breasts with. When nobody's watching, you can do that Perez Hilton thing and make the comic book characters look like they just snorted coke.

Sweet.

True Comic Book Romance

"Isn't He The Cutest Thing?"

What Superheroine Are You?

You Are Elektra

"You don't know how I feel. I want revenge."

What Superheroine Are You?

The Comic Shopping Habits of the Occcasional Superheroine

The first book I see is "Fallen Angel." The cover has pink and orange on it. I smile. I like pink and orange. Also, I feel that I have an obligation to buy more comics starring superheroines. Something to support my gender. I wonder what issue it is. I'm hoping it's like, #1 or 3 or something. But it's #15. Bleh. There's just too much continuity I've missed. I'll wait for the trade. Yes, one day I'll buy the trade.

Then I get to "The Avengers." I notice that there are at least two different comics that say "Avengers." One has the word "New" in front of it & one has "Mighty." Bleh. I'm confused. I'll pick up the one with Ms. Marvel prominently on the cover. To support my gender. I note that Frank Cho is pencilling. There is a nude Janet Van Dyne covered with dew inside. I think of "Cloud" from the "Defenders." She was nude too. I think that was her superpower.

Then I notice a cover that looks like The Avengers but says "The Initiative." Huh. This is Slott's book. I like Slott. I should really support Slott's books. Plus, It's a #1. That's good. I like #1s, even for cheesy comics that I know will be cancelled within five issues. I just like to start from the beginning.

But then I see more comics with the word "Initiative" on the cover. Some of them have both "Initiative" and "Civil War." Now I'm officially flummoxed. I start to get literally dizzy. I ask the gentleman wearing the "Joss Whedon Is My Master Now" T-shirt,

"Is this 'Initiative'...some sort of major crossover thing? An event?"
"Yeah."

Oh, balls.

Look, it's not the comics themselves that bother me in these crossover mega-event thingies, it's simply that trying to follow them makes me dizzy. The numbering system is just too complex and arcane for my tastes. I'm like that banned Talking Barbie doll. "Math is hard." "I like shopping." Dear DC, Marvel, Dark Horse, Image: I like shopping. Just put these all in trades, in continuity order, and give me a call when they're ready.

Women like trade-paperbacks. I hear this a lot. They like books. I don't know what it is. Maybe they just don't like going into the comic store every month. Maybe they're practical. I know one thing I don't like. Buying an issue of "Lone Ranger" #5 and then realizing I like the series so much I want to buy the trade. That means I will have the trade and issue #5 on my shelf.

This is all valuable marketing research, so listen up.

Anyways, next I pick up Buffy #2. Buffy #1 didn't have Willow -- my absolute favorite character -- in it, but they talked about her. In #2 they actually have her. I smile. I decide to pick up Buffy #2. To support Willow Rosenberg.

So far, I have supported my gender, Dan Slott, and Willow. I feel good about this. You know that phrase, "vote with your dollars?" I'm all about that.

Am I a cretin for finding the "Wonder Woman" #7 cover hot? Is this some sort of reverse sexism? But that's not why I buy the book. I buy it to support Jodi Picoult. A female writer. Gotta support the female writers.

Then I buy Justice League of America #8. To support Brad Meltzer. I feel real bad about the bad rap "Identity Crisis" got because of my blog. And then that whole flap about Power Girl's tits. I really want to support Brad Meltzer. I'm gonna buy this comic.

The tally is: supporting my gender, Dan Slott, Willow, female writers, and Brad Meltzer.

Is there anything else to buy?

Shoes.

Batdickery - UPDATED

of course, leave it to Batman to be the dick and forget that Black Canary is the new team leader...

From Justice League #8

UPDATE: apparently what I at first glance considered a golden comedy moment in the latest episode of Justice League was merely a "beat" leading to another scene. Holy Freudian slip, Batman!

What I THOUGHT the panel read was,My bad.

Erica is a very good friend of mine...

I met her at the production meetings we had weekly at DC. She was the Production Manager -- friendly and personable, but by-the-book. She had these neat rows of Post-its and labyrinthine flow-charts covering the walls of her office, all keeping track of the publishing schedules for the many comics the company put out.

She also always carried a Bible with her.

In this largely secular society, the sight of a woman carrying a Bible around with her in the office of a major metropolitan publishing house might raise a few eyebrows. But she stood by her beliefs. She never pushed her faith down anybody's throat, but she also never "buried" it. Ya gotta respect that.

Erica was also, I found out, a comic artist. One day after a meeting, she asked me if I had any interest in collaborating with her on a "practice" script, me being a writer. We worked on a Batgirl script I had written. It was a lot of fun, and a learning experience for both of us.

After a year or so she quit DC to marry her sweetheart and move with him to Tennessee. I hung out at the company a little longer, and, well, the rest is history.

In the darkest year of my life, Erica had always been there for me. I mean, I had nothing -- no job, no health, no money, no career. I had nothing but myself. And I was feeling daaaark. Hopeless. Depressed. It's not always easy to talk to someone in such a state of mind. But Erica was always there. I'd get moody and drop out of touch for weeks. Erica was always there.

Her indefatigable optimism and determination to not give up on me finally wore down the fortress of cynicism I had erected around myself -- and it's a large reason why I'm here, tip-tapping away at these keys, the darkest years behind me.

Erica just saved my butt yet again, this time with a comic book project. She had e-mailed me seven pages of layouts yesterday, far earlier than I expected.

Then she accidentally slammed into a file cabinet and hurt her spine & head.

Right now, she is in some pain, but is ok. There are still some odds and ends to look out for, but she should be ok.

She asked me to pray for her. She's prayed for me countless times. She's a really good pray-er. Once she asked her sister to pray for me and her sister in turn got this entire convent of nuns to pray for me. Best birthday gift I ever had, I tell ya.

So I'm going to try to pray for her. But I don't know how great I am at all this, so even though I'm going to try really hard, I was wondering if maybe you'd pray for her too. And if you're not really into the whole praying thing, you could check out her latest comic on Comicspace or look through her other projects. Or just wish her a speedy recovery. Thanks.

OCCASIONAL SUPERHEROINE ON MYSPACE

It's a frenzy of indiscriminate "add to friends" maneuvers and comic booky pimpin' goodness.

You know, I was kind of worried when I "friended" Brad Meltzer that he wouldn't add me but he soooo totally did.

Okay, now I have to answer one of those bulletins where you can go to this link to instantly add 10,000 friends but then they install malware on yor computer instead.

Anyway, here is the link. I've got a new blog post there too.

Black Canary: "My Humps"
(click for larger image)

Supergirl Love-Doll/
Catwoman Bitch-Doll

"Hi! I'm the Supergirl Love-Doll! I'm very horny! As you can tell -- I'm not wearing panties! That's because I'm an innocent alien princess from another world with no inhibitions! I know not of this whole *panty* thing! I'm just looking for a very special comic book collector to buy me and place me on his shelf! I'll make all your dreams come true! I've been lovingly sculpted by the Pygmalions at the DC Direct department JUST FOR YOU. Buy me today! Did I mention I'm a teenager? Don't worry -- there are no statutory rape laws where I come from! Cool Beans!"

"What are you looking at, you worm? My big titties? Is that it? You're staring at my tits? How dare you?! On your knees! Serve Selina! Buy me today and worship all of my overdeveloped feline badness! I'll press you into service as my personal henchman/love-slave! I'll make you wear kitty-ears and dance the hokey-pokey! I'll run my claws down your back until you bleed and force you to do my taxes! Buy me now! Worship me! Do it! Do it!"

DC Direct Toys & Collectibles -- A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock N' Roll