Monday, January 19, 2009

Starbuck "Castrated," Says Dirk Benedict

The new Big Hollywood blog is good for, apparently, watching old sci-fi TV stars get a soapbox and go completely ape-shit.

First there was ultra Right-Winger Gary Graham from "Alien Nation," and now we have Dirk Benedict from the old "Battlestar Galactica" series (as well as "A-Team"!).

Here are quotes from Benedict's blog entry, "Lost In Castration" --

"For the re-imagined terrorists (Cylons) are not mechanical robots void of soul, of sexuality, but rather humanoid six foot tall former lingerie models who f**k you to death. (Poor old Starbuck, you were imagined too early. Think of the fun you could have had ‘fighting’ with these thong-clad aliens!) In the spirit of such soft-core, sci-fi porn I think a more re-imaginative title would have been “F**cked by A Cylon.”"


"One can quickly surmise what a problem the original Starbuck created for the re-imaginators. Starbuck was all charm and humor and flirting without an angry bone in his womanizing body. Yes, he was definitely “female driven,” but not in the politically correct ways of Re-imagined Television. What to do, wondered the Re-imaginators? Keep him as he was, with a twinkle in his eye, a stogie in his mouth and a girl in every galaxy? This could not be. He would stick out like, well, like a jock strap in a drawer of thongs. Starbuck refused to be re-imagined. It became the Great Dilemma. How to have your Starbuck and delete him too?"

Unlike his original BSG co-star, Richard Hatch, Benedict is not going gently into that good remake:

"”Re-inspiration” struck. Starbuck would go the way of most men in today’s society. Starbuck would become “Stardoe.” What the Suits of yesteryear had been incapable of doing to Starbuck 25 years ago was accomplished quicker than you can say orchiectomy. Much quicker, as in, “Frak! Gonads Gone!”"

In case you've missed it, there is lots of penis references in his post.

"Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars. Hamlet does not scan as Hamletta. Nor does Hans Solo as Hans Sally. Faceman is not the same as Facewoman."

Well, we've got another villain for the collective blog zeitgeist. Best of all, he has that big cigar as a prop.

Related post: Clint Eastwood's "Pussy Generation"


  1. This is really, really old.
    2004 kind of old.

  2. Well hopefully Big Hollywood reprinting it will give a lot of bloggers an easy topic for the next couple of days. And that's all you can hope for.

    Well, I also hope for a pony for my birthday.

  3. He made one flub in his article. It's Han Solo not Hans Solo.

  4. best comment:

    "Dirk Benedict is the fifth Cylon!"

  5. I just see someone is bitter that they did not take his version more seriously.

  6. What's the deal with that cigar?

    As for Big Hollywood; they wish.

  7. He DOES have a point though.

    What prompted the new show's writers to re-imagine a rampant womanizer like ol' Starbuck as a tough, war hardened FEMALE?

    It certainly does LOOK like the P.C. police struck on this one, at least to the casual observer.

  8. Looks like someone is pissed off they weren't asked to be in the remake.

    Oh, and yeah, Starbuck as a character is in the same league as f**king HAMLET.

    Yes, and Face was as good as King Lear!

  9. You can't compare the old series to the new one, they're different beasts just with the same initial concept.

    Dirk Benedict remains awesome in my eyes, even if he is bitter about not being asked to come back for the remake. ^_~

  10. "Yes, and Face was as good as King Lear!"

    Caught that when I was in England, it was fucking awesome

  11. What were they thinking? Hopefully looking at the original show that they watched when they were ten and realizing what a cliche ridden turd it was and deciding to start starting from scratch. Some stuff doesn't age well no matter how well its wrapped in childhood memories.

  12. Different times different characters.

    So when are currently popular, and working conservative stars going to post a blog entry over?

  13. You think Dirk has even seen a full episode of the new BSG? Or is his rant based off a couple comercials he saw while flipping through TV land reruns of the A-team?

  14. You know, I always felt like that guy from the Alien Nation tv show was a bad actor, and continued to think so when he was on Enterprise.

    I never suspected he was also part of the wannabe macho right wing set. Yikes. Didn't know that about Hudnall either.

  15. New Starbuck would kick old Starbuck's ass. But it would be okay with me if she was a womanizer.

  16. His rant was quite well-written and makes for an enjoyable read. I just don't happen to agree with him at all. The old Starbuck is still out there, nothing has changed. And there's another Starbuck.

    Another Starbuck.

    I think some people want to lambaste the newer show for not being the older show, but that's why I prefer the "re-imagining." Also because it's one of the finest, most complex dramas ever put on TV. I'd be watching this one even if it wasn't set in space because the characters are so compelling with all their flaws and battered humanity.

    Even the sex robots.

  17. Anonymous8:13 PM


    Does he think anyone cares?

  18. It doesn't help that Starbuck's one of the most vile people on the show. Look at how she treats everyone she's involved with, from friends to lovers to parental figures. If she was a real person, no one in their right mind would put up with that kind of insane abuse.

  19. Look, it's obvious why Starbuck had to do the old chromosome swap. If they had kept Starbuck true to the original vision, then there wouldn't have been that plot thread about the low rate of new births.

  20. Anonymous9:22 PM

    I missed Lear when I was in Europe. I was uberpissed, and not even As You Like It at King's College could appease me.

    Gary Graham is a nut. I think I have to bookmark him now. Communism. Fun.

    Hopefully, Dark "Man" Benedict has gotten over himself by now.

  21. Anonymous9:24 PM

    My last comment, I fear, didn't make it.

    Missed Lear in Europe. Poop.
    COMMUNISM RAR (I don't think Graham won't get work just because he's a neocon).
    Dirk Benedict is man.

  22. I'm always yearning for the days of shallow, stock characters! I sure hate this new "complexity" thing. Chicks man! Chicks make cardboard cut-outs not acceptable. PC man, I hate it all the way to my BALLS.

    UGH. Though man, do I miss Kara's short hair.

  23. He didn't seem terribly bitter on the DVD extra when he appeared alongside the actress who plays Starbuck and they shot the shit. The best moment came when the actress mentioned in passing that 'Boomer' was also a woman in the surrent series, to which Benedict (clearly more amused than appalled) asked "are there any men on this show at all?"

    Benedict's one of the old guard of tv stars who were served well by Glen Larson's preoccupation with drinking, cigar-smoking macho womanisers, but not so well after the safe-sex period of the 1980s made such things unpopular, so I imagine he views that time in his career with a certain romaticism.

    He did do a stint in the UK's Celebrity Big Brother and came off as personable and inoffensive - that's hard to fake 24 hours a day, as his successor in this year's competition (Coolio) has unfortunately proven.

  24. Anonymous4:08 PM

    You know what?

    The original version of "Battlestar Galactica" really fucking sucked in a totally non-ironic way, and the only reason I thought this guy was cool was because I was obsessed with the A-Team when I was a kid.

    Even though I don't follow it because well, I have cartoons and "Survivorman" reruns to watch, the BSG reboot is the best thing to happen to sci-fi since "Blade Runner".

  25. Yeah, but Fred Astaire's appearance was pretty cool. And one wonders what effect Isaac Asimov would have had on the second season.

    And that Laurette Sprang... *SIGH* ... to my nine-year-old hormones, she was perfect. Even had the Farrah feathered look going on... Perhaps she is the last Cylon?

    wow... "By Your Command"... I guess that's where Mr. Benedict should free his muse.

  26. Anonymous9:59 AM

    Wow. How sad. How stupid. Gender bending fictional fighter pilots aside, if the original were so great why did the show last all of one season.

    Even with Dirk Benedict guest star power, the even more futuristic sounding follow up, Galactica 1980 didn't last even with his added testosteronees.

    Move over Shatner, there is a new old TV star still trying to relive his golden era. Vulgacarb!

  27. Anonymous10:11 AM

    I can't see any reason for this rant as
    1) It's about 6 years too late and

    2) if his version was so great why was it cancelled?

    3) The new version is amazing and anything but PC.

    Maybe it has more to do with


    If so, fine. But it'd be sad for him to complain about his role in a beloved one season flop.

    Unless he's trying to take the position of over the hill space jockey from Shatner. Shatner will die before that happens.

  28. Anonymous10:26 AM

    People who comment cant detect his tone and attitude in the written word. I heard him talk about this at a convention and he is very humorous and lighthearted about it. ITs all in jest that he speaks of the new battlestar's starbuck. And people who say he is bitter. He also stated he got into acting by accident that it was not something he aspired to be and that after he left A team he left the career because he felt raising his children was more important. He doenst care if he acts in anything else so he is not bitter about not being asked to be in it. He actually has a good attitude about what is important, children over a career.