"Okay, so now Wonder Woman is 16, and attending a high-school in the Mid-West. She's got all these kooky powers that she barely understands. BUT SHE JUST WANTS TO FIT IN! And then she's got like this brainy best friend who has a major crush on her -- but she doesn't know she's alive! Then Wondy has this other best friend who's like a dork and stuff. Only they know Wondy's secret.
"Now, the principal at the high-school is a real hard-ass -- with good reason! He's actually Ares, god of war, in disguise! Also, the home economics instructor is Circe, and stirs up (literally) no end of trouble for Wondy and pals.
"Steve Trevor is a jock on the football team who really just wants to be a doctor. But his dad is the coach, and just won't let him! Won't anybody give Steve the chance to put the cleats away? Wondy will. Wondy believes in him. But she's also fascinated by this new kid in town. This bad kid. And that kid --
"IS REALLY BRUCE WAYNE!
"But, because of arcane licensing contracts, we can't use the actual name "Bruce Wayne." So we will call him Darkling Knight. He can turn into a bat. He's secretly a vampire.
"Now, this is perfect, because like vampires, Wondy is really immortal. She's a girl made of clay. She's like Pinocchio. She just wants to grow up -- too fast!
"Lastly, I would like for Wondy to have a pet sidekick, a hamster. We can call him Hamusutaa, which means "hamster" in Japanese.
And Wondy can also sing."
Okay, I'm kidding about the singing part.
People would totally watch that.
ReplyDeleteSold!
ReplyDeleteI can hear The CW backing a big dumptruck full of money up to your door right now.
WOW... that was terrible.
ReplyDeleteOn the one hand, that sounds like an awful show. On the other hand, that sounds like an awful show that I would watch religiously.
ReplyDeleteMaybe for the singing part, she could host a karaoke night at the local teen club - The Titan.
ReplyDeleteI like it. Seriously. I'm pretty sure there are at least 27 manga series with that exact same story though. But hey, originality is never a good idea if one is shooting for success.
ReplyDeletethat would totally be my favorite show/comic/whatever.
ReplyDeleteThis was all Joss Whedon had to do
ReplyDeleteSo ... now, let's cast it.
ReplyDeleteDo you think Olivia Wilde from "House" would consent to play Wonder Woman?
Sounds like it belongs on Saturday morning cartoons. My kids would probably watch it (much to my annoyance).
ReplyDeleteWhat no librarian who knows everything about arcane monsters and rituals to guild Wondy and her friends?
ReplyDeleteShe could ride to school on an invisible bicycle, and stuff her bra with gold toilet paper which, after luring the main "freak of the week" villain to make-out point at the climax of the episode, makes him tell the truth about his crimes. Cliffhanger: can she get away before he reaches third base?
ReplyDeleteOn second thought gold toilet paper sounds gross.
I would watch it...no hamster though. The rest! I would watch! heehee so cute!
ReplyDeleteAnd it's still better than the comic books!
ReplyDeleteAlso the gold toilet paper might cause severe paper cuts. Better make it silver, Paul!
ReplyDeleteWell, the first part, it's kinda being down in the Johnny DC Supergirl title, where she attends a boarding school. Go read the latest ish. Her roommate is...
ReplyDeleteOh, you forgot her mom, who doesn't like boys, or the idea of Diana dating.
And the librarian? Julia Kapatelis, as a mentor who was mentored by the Amazons.
Lose the hamster, make it a cat. Or a horse that's really a centaur. Or maybe some shape-changing thingy that can assume any mythological form to help Wondi battle whatever.
Now, what happens, Val, when DC makes you an offer?
My suggestion? Do what Don Rosa did: write stories using archetypes until the regime change.
so you're turning wonder woman into buffy, why?
ReplyDeleteYou're fired.
ReplyDeleteOh, oh, oh, the cat/centaur/hampster has to be voiced by Seth Green.
ReplyDeleteOr lose the airplane, and have her cat morph into a pterippus that she can ride. (Or maybe it's a backpack charm, reminiscent of "The Glass Menagerie".) Maybe have it fire bolts from its eyes. Or give it an alicorn that fires blasts, but which can also heal like a unicorn. Not exactly kosher, since unicorns don't exist in Greek mythology...
ReplyDeleteOh, and give her a cool rhyme to recite while she's changing into Wonder Woman! Kinda like a cross between Shazam and Green Lantern!
Make her a a foreign exchange student and I think you just secured your career in hollywood.
ReplyDeleteso you're turning wonder woman into buffy, why?
ReplyDeleteNo, she's turning WW into Sabrina, with Salem converted into a hamster.