Friday, January 30, 2009

Cracked/Mad Feud Reaches Fever Pitch

Sylvester P. Smythe was seen slapping Alfred E. Neuman with the backs of his hands yesterday, as the decades-old feud between Cracked & Mad continued its bloody reign.

News of Mad Magazine's recent hardships only added gasoline to what has already been a dark spot in the usually sunny world of humor periodicals. Cracked, (which is actually no longer a periodical) (which also actually hasn't even used Sylvester P. Smythe in years) tried to send an olive branch of sorts to Mad in the form of a post written by Daniel O'Brien.

Entitled, "Cracked Officially Starts Feeling Sorry for MAD Magazine," the post is a love-letter of sorts to the magazine that started America laughing more than fifty years ago.

"I wanted to reach out to you, but I just got so busy; see, we were installing hot tubs in all of the Cracked offices at the time, which required a ton of my attention, (you can’t install hot tubs within five feet of a chocolate fountain, which we’d just installed in October). They’re kind of tacky, I know, but we had some extra cash so why not, right?"

O'Brien also gives us a glimpse into the rich history the two humor magazines share:

"Oh, but one more real quick thing. As different as we are, (in terms of success, our adaptability with regards to the shifting trends in media, our superior sexual behavior), we do have one similarity. According to legend, longtime MAD editor William Gaines reportedly kept a voodoo doll in his office, in which he would stick pins, all labeled as various MAD “imitators,” (Cracked, Sick, The New York Times), and he would remove a pin whenever one of these imitators would stop publishing or disappear. At the time of Gaines’ death, there was only one pin left, and it was labeled “Cracked."

Which, of course, brought to mind:

It is my belief that only Obnoxio the Clown can bring these two sides together and restore the friendly rivalry they shared in the good old days, the days of reading material made of paper.


  1. Can't we all hold ands and just read Viz Comic instead?

  2. man that Obnoxio comic cracked me up when i was a kid!

  3. Fred Hembeck is the only person for this task!

  4. Crazy Magazine was the best when I was a kid. "Kaspar the Dead Baby" was pretty dark for an 10 or 11 year old.

    Where are those Essentials?

  5. In related news, the Cracked website is still up and running.

  6. I am currently writing a book on the history of "Cracked" magazine for Bear Manor Media, just FYI...