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Thursday, November 08, 2007

Not that I'm saying this is wrong, or anything...


...but just now, as I took my lunch break, I turned the channel to NBC and they had one of those "View" type "women's shows." It was called "IVillage" something or other. And you have these two women discussing these items spread out on the table in front of them, and after a minute or two I look up and realize that they're sex toys.

I'm not saying it's wrong for them to discuss sex toys on an afternoon network TV show. I'm just saying I was surprised.

But it gets better...these aren't ordinary run-of-the-mill sex toys -- they're "green" sex toys -- environmentally friendly.

"Just because you're having sex doesn't mean you can't think about saving the planet too."

And so she has these glass ding-dongs that "can be tossed in the recycling bin along with your wine bottles."

"I don't know...I don't want anything recycled from my sex toys," the other lady says.

But the first lady reassures her that "these are totally safe...they're hand-blown!"

Second lady flashes a knowing Jack Benny look to the audience and everybody starts laughing hysterically.

Then they move on to the solar-powered vibrator.

"Just keep this in the sunlight for three hours or so and you're ready to go!"

Lady #2 throws her hands in the air and goes "eep!" as the device buzzes across the counter.

Then there are pair of these little day-glo numbers. Lady #2 -- the comedian -- holds them like guns. "Bang! Bang bang bang!"

Lastly, we have soy-based candles. Just in case you would like to reenact that famous scene from "Body of Evidence" with Willem Dafoe & Madonna in an environmentally-sound manner.

Back on CNN, images of the drought in Georgia are shown, and tips on how to conserve water are flashed on the screen:

"You only need to rinse that pot once," the newscaster says with a smile.

5 comments:

  1. MY CARBON FOOTPRINT IS HUGE IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AM I RIGHT? NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK!

    Also, that is genuinely weird.

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  2. "Iraq burning to the ground? Taking Turkey and Pakistan slowly down with it? Iran's the next to go? Nah. Non-stories. Hey! Hybrid flex-fuel fleshlights! Stop the presses! That's page one material!"

    America. America.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "You only need to rinse that pot once," the newscaster says with a smile.

    You know, I have some friends who have smoked pot for years, and I've never heard them say anything about rinsing it.

    Oh, wait. Never mind.

    ReplyDelete
  4. im sure george clooney will be happy that his green butt plug isnt just about color preference.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm sorry -- if your sex toy is green, you probably should've washed it before you put it away.

    ReplyDelete