Fangirl Fridays: Down With Marriage?

In part 3 of the "One More Day" Spider-Man event, Mephisto tells Peter Parker: "I want your marriage."

That's a strange request. Wouldn't it make more sense to just kill Spidey himself and thus open the door to more unchecked evildoing? Why is Peter's marriage to MJ such a precious commodity?

To say that "OMD" is merely part of an anti-marriage agenda in comics is simplifying things way too much. I think the predicament presented by "OMD" illustrates the tug-of-war in the hearts of many married people in this society.

This society largely informs us, through its popular culture, that the personal responsibilty and self-sacrifice involved in the insititution of marriage is a cultural dinosaur and the extension of a Christian guilt-trip. Pop-psychology books and New Age gurus stress the importance of tending to the needs of the Self above all else. Aging celebrities regularly dump their spouses and "trade up." And God isn't even dead, because he doesn't exist at all.

But despite all this, "OMD" has curiously religious overtones. Mephisto is, after all, a representation of the Devil. The Devil is largely a Christian concept. Through attacking Peter & MJ's marriage, he is attacking the very institution of marriage.

And rumor is, he wins.

And Peter will get a chance to date again -- to have many adventures in crime-fighting and romance. And who wouldn't envy the choices available to him? Maybe Gwen will make a comeback. There's always Black Cat. Maybe he can date one of the X-Men -- if Black Panther can do it, I'm sure he can.

And when it's all over, in several years, maybe Peter will get lonely, sentimental. Maybe he will want to settle down again. Maybe he will crave some sort of stability. Maybe that biological need to continue his arachnid-infected DNA will crop up. Who knows? And then he'll think about it and think about it and then he'll break down and once again marry MJ. Or maybe the "reset" button will simply get hit again.

And then, in a few more years, the whole marriage thing will be "boring" again.

This is a common cycle. Many marriages don't survive it. Many more will continue on with some form of infidelity. Pop-culture is not at fault, but it also isn't completely off-the-hook. Values -- considered another "dinosaur" concept by many -- plays a big part. When you're standing at the precipice of a big decision that will impact the rest of your life -- and maybe that of those closest to you -- it's funny what stray thoughts or memories will be crucial.

Should superhero comics reflect the actual or ideal values of a society? By presenting these characters as "heroes," does that necessarily mean that they should convey some sort of values that might be considered "heroic" by society?


Is the idea of a man or woman who sacrifices some of his or her needs to put towards the greater good of their family considered heroic? Is that sort of self-sacrifice necessary for the greater good of society? Or if, as Christopher Hitchens and so many other authors write, God is merely a delusion -- why should these people sacrifice anything at all? For what?

When we die, is that it? Do we have an accounting at all for our actions? If there is no God, and no afterlife, shouldn't we get what's good right now? If the sex isn't great in your marriage, shouldn't you just move on and get some better sex so that you don't "miss out" before you die? Do you want to be like Sally Brown in the pumpkin patch and miss Halloween and candy and games and stuff?

Wouldn't it be great to have a "reset" button?

I believe that the core value of sacrificing of one's wants for the greater good of one's spouse and child to be very heroic. I believe that the parent who goes into their 9 to 5 every day with the monkeysuit and the briefcase so their children can have proper health insurance is very heroic. I think withstanding the temptation to stray in order to keep stability in the family is very heroic. I think these are the everyday heroic things that go unnoticed by society -- and not only goes unnoticed but is often sneered at.

Who will champion these people? If comics is a part of our present-day secular mythology/religion -- a substitute for the organized religion that is so much under attack and "shown" to be quaint and irrelevant -- where are the role models for the adults who have to raise families and try to balance budgets in this rotten economy and struggle daily with their own sexual temptations?

I don't believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible, I don't believe that homosexuality is wrong, I don't believe that good people go to a "hell" because they don't follow the same religion as somebody else. But I do believe in some basic values -- like trust in relationships, devotion, and sacrifice in order for the next generation to survive. I also believe in a God. And I believe that there is an accounting of some sort for our actions in this life.

Is marriage coming under attack in comic books? Is this a good thing? Does this help? Is it entertaining? Is the function of superhero comic books to present an idealized view of a fantasy world where we get everything we want -- a place for sheer escape? Does the inclusion of marriage spoil that? Or does entertainment hold any social responsibility at all? Or is the idea of "social responsibility" gauche to even mention in the same breath as "entertainment?"


Did the family-affirming message of the movie The Incredibles spoil an otherwise entertaining film? Was Mr. Incredible a chump for not sleeping with Mirage? In a finite, godless world, wouldn't it have benefitted him to have a bit of fresh meat? Look how fat he got as a dad and husband. Marriage ruined everything. He couldn't be a hero anymore.

But the point was, he was a hero even before he put on the capes and tights again. He was a hero when he worked at that damn health insurance company -- because he was trying to support his family. It's an important message. People need to hear messages like that...at least as much as hearing messages about newly-single playboy superheroes.