Thursday, June 04, 2009

The Ethel Muggs Makeover

This chick keeps getting prettier and prettier. A quick recap on the pictorial history of Ethel "Big Ethel' Muggs:

She doesn't even have that "I'm so insecure and in need of approval and love that I'm willing to let men me treat me like dirt" expression on her face anymore.

This transformation might be due to two factors:
1) Ethel realized that the old wives' tale that the way to man's heart is his stomach is actually sort of true.
2) She took that advice my mom always gave me, which was: "smile with your mouth closed."

And here is the synopsis for above Jughead story:

"Jughead pretends to date Ethel to keep himself stuffed with her delicious homemade cookies, but he's mortified when photos of Ethel feeding him spread across the internet. Will his pride lead to a 'breakup,' or are his cravings for sweets too strong?"

Don't you hate when this happens? "Feeding" in this context is obviously a code-name for playing the Wii.

And the synopsis for the rest of the issue:

"Then, when Archie asks Jughead how to choose between Betty and Veronica, Jughead suggests he flip a coin - and flip some burgers in exchange for the advice! Finally, Jughead and his dad go on a fishing trip, and manage to catch a lot of snack food along the way!"

Jughead's Double Digest: truly the "Garfield" of comics starring human beings.


  1. "Feeding" in this context is obviously a code-name for playing the Wii.

    Or Ethel could be a purveyor of feeder porn.

  2. Anonymous6:35 PM

    Are they making Jughead fat?

  3. "Are they making Jughead fat?"

    it's starting to look that way, actually...

  4. Am I wrong to find her very attractive now. Archie asked the wrong girl.

  5. I'm really sorry they prettified her so much over the years. I remember when she was (and I quote exactly) "an accident waiting to happen." Kind of gave hope to all us not-so-gorgeous gals. The Susan Boyle of her day, if you will. Only, not as talented, at least the way she was written. I'd loved to have written that character...

  6. Well now I'm just a little curious as to the reasoning behind the 'smile with your mouth closed' advice.
    Outside of someone having crooked (or stained) teeth, why might someone suggest this?

  7. Anonymous2:18 PM

    It's interesting also how she went from thin & buck-toothed to roundy-ish as the "unattractive" girl in the comics.
    'Cuz if she was still thin culturally we'd be obligated to see ehr as appealing... Maybe it's just me.