Monday, February 02, 2009
You see, I totally get the whole hubbub about Superbowl commercials now. They are largely designed and targeted for people who wouldn't even give a rat's behind about football. It's ingenious. They tune in for the commercials. Or just watch them on Hulu. And before I watch the Superbowl commercial on Hulu -- THEY PLAY A DAMN COMMERCIAL!
(note: these Hulu links may not work depending on where you live. If they don't, try YouTube. Though they are yanking some of these commercials off of YouTube. Because God forbid. You pirate. COMMERCIALS!)
Angels and Demons: "Oh crap, Ewan MacGregor is a priest! David! David, did you see this, he's a &%$#$ priest! David!"
Land of The Lost: Now I hate Will Ferrell all over again.
Heroes Football: The most inspirational fantasy/sports hybrid since NFL Superpro.
Alec Baldwin "Huluwood": Baldwin seems to be making a real cottage industry out of playing the evil but lovable gasbag, isn't he? Have you checked out his IMDB entry lately? Profile picture from ten years ago. "Raven haired, suavely handsome..." Who wrote this entry and when? Then this passage: "Unfortunately, Baldwin fell out with Paramount Studios over future scripts for Jack Ryan, and subsequent Ryan roles went to Harrison Ford. It was a minor blip on Baldwin's horizon, and he then contributed interesting performances as a lowlife thief pursued by dogged cop Fred Ward in Miami Blues (1990)..." Minor blip on his horizon? That ill-conceived decision blew his chances of being a dashing Hollywood leading man forever. And oh yes, the trivia section says he loves Cuban cigars: "Some guys smoke good Dominicans, other guys smoke great Jamaicans. I only smoke the best - Havanas!"
Heheheheh...CUBANS! That's a good cigar!
He's a gasbag, but we love him, and Liz Lemon would sorta totally do him, or at least, wouldn't completely vomit.
Transformers 2: "David! Transformers 2! With Shia! Shia's more serious in this one! This is like "The Dark Knight" of Transformers movies! David! Look at this!"
Pepsi MacGruber: Well, we all knew having Richard Dean Anderson make an appearance on this SNL parody was inevitable. Anderson looks now the way Adam West looked like in 1986. Do the math.
Pepsi Max: You see, this is the sort of commercial some "men's rights" group should target as making males look like dumbasses. Pepsi Max is like the Ax Body Spray of diet colas. I mean, it won't necessarily get you laid, but it's Manly.
Year One: Will Michael Cera's unique brand of sweet, self-effacing, and neurotic humor work in a non-stop comedic romp through Biblical history? And, most importantly -- will Biggus Dickus make an appearance?
Star Trek: (takes in a mouthful of oxygen) "DAVIDDDDDD!!!!!"