Question: What TV Show Is Way Past Due For Cancellation?

I'm putting to you the following question:

What TV show currently on the air is way past its expiration date and is starting to really stink?
This is not merely a show that is bad: but a show that used to be good that's either stayed around too long and became bad, or showed early brilliance and has made a swift inexplicable decline.

Note: the Simpsons graphic above was not meant to imply that I think it is one of those "way past due" shows. Though this season is really hit or miss for me, and the Seth Rogen superhero episode was kind of painful.

When TV Shows Become The Sponsor's Bitch

"My Name is Earl" Greg Garcia creator had choice words for NBC regarding the recent cancellation of his show:

"It’s hard to be too upset about being thrown off the Titanic."

But NBC has been so good to other shows, showing "Chuck" mercy! All the "Chuck" producers need to do is strengthen the tie-in with sponsor Subway:

“Chuck” appealed to Subway for reasons that included its audience, which is mostly the type of younger consumer that buys a lot of subs at malls. The show takes place in a mall, and Chuck’s girlfriend, Sarah, is a C.I.A. agent who works under cover at various stands in the food court.It is no great leap to believe she could be selling Subway sandwiches next season.

Synergy, baby!

But I don't think NBC is the "Titanic." Network TV as we know it is the Titanic.


So how does a show like "Dollhouse" get renewed, and "Earl" doesn't? Is it the Hulu connection? Is it the demographics? If "My Name Is Earl" made a deal with Taco Bell and had Earl actually worked at Taco Bell, would that have saved the show, made it more attractive to the advertisers?

Are we going back to a system where one or two main advertisers own the show, body and soul?

Are we going back to this:





and here we are, 2009:



the only difference is that the Subway spot in "Chuck" was an actual part of the story.

I believe for nervous network TV stations, this solution -- making their TV shows the outright "bitch" of certain sponsors -- will become more and more the norm; meanwhile over at Hulu, we have the radical concept of watching free TV with "limited commercial interruptions."

We've come so far!

Grindhouse Style Fox Ad For Dollhouse and Terminator

What do you think of this Grindhouse-inspired ad for the Fox TV shows Dollhouse & Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles? Are they fun? Do they misrepresent the shows themselves?
Seems very 1970s/Wonder Woman to me.

Superbowl Commericals

You see, I totally get the whole hubbub about Superbowl commercials now. They are largely designed and targeted for people who wouldn't even give a rat's behind about football. It's ingenious. They tune in for the commercials. Or just watch them on Hulu. And before I watch the Superbowl commercial on Hulu -- THEY PLAY A DAMN COMMERCIAL!

(note: these Hulu links may not work depending on where you live. If they don't, try YouTube. Though they are yanking some of these commercials off of YouTube. Because God forbid. You pirate. COMMERCIALS!)

Angels and Demons: "Oh crap, Ewan MacGregor is a priest! David! David, did you see this, he's a &%$#$ priest! David!"


Land of The Lost: Now I hate Will Ferrell all over again.

Heroes Football: The most inspirational fantasy/sports hybrid since NFL Superpro.

Alec Baldwin "Huluwood": Baldwin seems to be making a real cottage industry out of playing the evil but lovable gasbag, isn't he? Have you checked out his IMDB entry lately? Profile picture from ten years ago. "Raven haired, suavely handsome..." Who wrote this entry and when? Then this passage: "Unfortunately, Baldwin fell out with Paramount Studios over future scripts for Jack Ryan, and subsequent Ryan roles went to Harrison Ford. It was a minor blip on Baldwin's horizon, and he then contributed interesting performances as a lowlife thief pursued by dogged cop Fred Ward in Miami Blues (1990)..." Minor blip on his horizon? That ill-conceived decision blew his chances of being a dashing Hollywood leading man forever. And oh yes, the trivia section says he loves Cuban cigars: "Some guys smoke good Dominicans, other guys smoke great Jamaicans. I only smoke the best - Havanas!"

Heheheheh...CUBANS! That's a good cigar!
He's a gasbag, but we love him, and Liz Lemon would sorta totally do him, or at least, wouldn't completely vomit.


Transformers 2: "David! Transformers 2! With Shia! Shia's more serious in this one! This is like "The Dark Knight" of Transformers movies! David! Look at this!"

Pepsi MacGruber: Well, we all knew having Richard Dean Anderson make an appearance on this SNL parody was inevitable. Anderson looks now the way Adam West looked like in 1986. Do the math.


Pepsi Max: You see, this is the sort of commercial some "men's rights" group should target as making males look like dumbasses. Pepsi Max is like the Ax Body Spray of diet colas. I mean, it won't necessarily get you laid, but it's Manly.

Year One: Will Michael Cera's unique brand of sweet, self-effacing, and neurotic humor work in a non-stop comedic romp through Biblical history? And, most importantly -- will Biggus Dickus make an appearance?


Star Trek: (takes in a mouthful of oxygen) "DAVIDDDDDD!!!!!"

Spam I Love: Hasselhoff Romance Photos

The latest Spam I Love to hit my inbox has been an offer for personalized David Hasselhoff romance photos.

They aren't even truly signed by the Hoff, but are instead "in an exact digital copy of David's handwriting and autograph." Maybe they're having KITT do it -- he could do anything, couldn't he?

But what makes up for this are the glamor shots that are offered.

Now I can pretend Hasselhoff is inviting me to dinner, taking my hand and about to show me a night I will never forget.

Then, the Morning After:


And Sexy Surfing Santa for the holidays:

Is Heroes (and TV shows like it) In Trouble?

News of the cancellation (or theoretical cancellation) of ABC's "Pushing Daisies" made me wonder about the fate of other quirky/action/sci-fi/fantasy TV shows. You know the shows I'm talking about -- the ones they push down our throats at every San Diego Comic Con. The ones "fans" are supposed to like. Comic-booky shows. Like "Heroes."

How did "Heroes" make the slide from hottest show to right below "Smallville"? This wasn't supposed to happen.

Let's look at other shows who have failed to make the cut over the last year or so: "Knight Rider," "Bionic Woman," "Journeyman." Christian Slater's "My Own Worst Enemy" was also gifted with Quirky Action -- and it lasted only a handful of episodes this season before getting canned.

Which of the following shows will make it to 2009 and beyond?

Chuck








I know my BF will hate this, but I'm going to say it -- I'd be very surprised if "Chuck" gets another season, and if it does, I'd be very surprised if it fills out that new season before getting axed.

Heroes







The cult show is on the skids, but will NBC invest in it enough to redeem it? Maybe one more season, tops. It's just too expensive to make. Also, the show has a plot with a projected end-point -- which makes it harder to "stretch out" season after season.

Lost








Is this season the last one? If not, maybe one more after this, to wrap things up. See my notes on "Heroes."

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles









Does the big budget of this show warrant another season? Will Fox invest in it, hoping for synergy with the upcoming movie sequel? That might be the only reason they'd renew it for another couple of years.

Fringe










Is anybody following this? It doesn't seem to have attracted the cult following of "The X-Files," but I could be wrong. I don't know if this one will last.

My prediction: most shows won't make it to next year's Fall season. In addition, with the purported ending of such shows as "Smallville," the fad of sci-fi/action/fantasy/quirk genre of TV shows, outside of perhaps cable, will be over.

Instead, look to seeing more period pieces such as "Mad Men". That will be the new fad. And with less sci-fi/fantasy shows being made, that means less advertising money being poured into conventions like SDCC.

In this sort of environment, would debuting TV shows specifically based on comic books work? Or is that what the public really wants -- not "faux" superheroes like Chuck but the Real Thing?

30 Rock Vs. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

An actual conversation that has occurred in the history of the world:

"I don't really find the characters on 30 Rock that likable. I like the characters on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia better."

"Are you serious? Didn't you tell me last week that you liked the characters on Family Guy better than those on How I Met Your Mother?"

"I did."

"Well...that just reveals a systematic problem."

"Look, 30 Rock & How I Met Your Mother are just shows about rich spoiled people with made-up problems. I see this as a socio-economic issue, perhaps even a socio-economic-cultural issue."

"I can't believe you."

"And another thing...you know how on the Mr. Belvedere theme song they have a line like life is more than mere survival? Oh come on! That family never knew what it was like to have mere survival. They have a friggin' butler, for God's sake. And their dad is Bob Uecker!"

"Haven't you even watched Mr. Belvedere? The man was taken in to make money to send home to his family! They were trying to help him out. It was charity."

"Uh..."

"Money to send home for his family. His own family."

"You're right...I feel terrible."

"You should feel terrible..."

****

The next day:

"What are you listening to?!"

"It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia clips on YouTube. Wild card, bitches! Whoo!"

Partridge Family Pimping

Actual description of new Partridge Family TV series from NBC:

"A struggling, sort of well-meaning mom pimping her kids in order to create a wholesome-slash-sexy cash cow."

Will Dina Lohan star?

Postscript: Original post title was, "Why Hollywood sometimes makes me vomit."

Laurence Fishburne To Join CSI as "Dexter" Type Character?

I tend to watch the various iterations of "Law and Order" rather than the "CSI" shows. But this proposed cast addition to "CSI" sounds interesting...

Larry Fishburne would replace William Petersen on the show, playing a new scientist/doctor on the show whose profile is just like a serial killer's -- except he has never acted on his homicidal impulses. This would make the character similar, in a sense, to that of the title character in Showtime's hit "Dexter."

Other actors in the running for the role: John Malkovich and Kurt Russell.

I like that plot twist; makes me wish I thought of it.

For my money, though, nobody beats this guy: