Joe

My stepfather, Joe, passed away today. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in late October of '08. Recently, he had a stroke, and was soon after stricken with reoccurring pneumonia.

One of the reasons some experts say fathers are so important is because they are (or should be) role models. Ideally, they should provide a basic template of what positive character traits a man should possess.

Joe was soft-spoken but very strong. He believed in living life to the fullest -- living every day to the fullest. He came from a more traditional background, but was very open-minded. He liked helping people. He worked hard. He loved my mother very much. He was very gentle but if somebody disrespected my mom, he would very likely punch that person. He liked building things. Him and my mother built a beautiful house in Cape Cod out of an awkward lot that nobody wanted. He was teaching himself how to play the guitar. He was an avid biker. I (re)introduced him to reading comics, and he liked "New Frontier" very much. His father had worked on the first rocket launch, and Joe still had a bundle of wires from the "umbilical cord" that was attached to that rocket. He had an Obama button pinned to the inside of his car. He had retired a couple of years ago after putting in over 35 years as an engineer, and had traveled the world with my mom. They made a great couple, and were very happy with each other.

Joe wasn't my biological father, and he entered my life when I was an adult. But I consider him a role-model, a template for the type of man I want to marry and to have children with. I am so very lucky to have had this wonderful man be in my life, and to have had the opportunity to spend time with him this past Thanksgiving. He never had any children, but I hope he considered me and my siblings his children in a way. He was the best father I ever had.