Actually happened:
"Browsing" one of those online community bulletin board types of things -- you know, for research -- and a guy had an ad for the Ghost Rider premiere, he had one extra ticket and wanted to take a lady.
And I was like, "damnit, I want to see "Ghost Rider!"
So:
My e-mail (more or less): "Hi, I normally don't do this sort of thing but I'm a big comic book fan and I would like to go to the Ghost Rider premiere with you. I hasten to mention that I really never answer ads like this, but I really want to go. I'm 5'9", 125, and reasonably good-looking. With a great sense of humor. Also, I'm female."
His response: "The premiere already ended tonight. Sorry."
My response: "No problem. But if you get tickets for Spiderman 3, let me know."
Now, this ad was clearly under the "strictly platonic" section of the bulletin board so it wasn't like I was whoring myself for Ghost Rider premiere tickets. Of course, I gave a description of my physical features, but this was just so he would know what I looked like so when we met up he'd recognize me.
What I'm trying to say is,
I'm a liberated woman and I don't need to turn to bulletin boards to score me some Ghost Rider tickets.
Damnit, after work I'm going to see Ghost Rider!
I'm liberated! I score my own comic book swag!
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Nick Cage is weird and a little self-important but I'm totally into him. Anybody who names themselves after second-string Marvel characters from the 1970's has a level of self-realization that I am only now starting to achieve.
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In an interview, Cage credited Karen Carpenter as one of his inspirations for "Ghost Rider." I immediately thought this was because she was bony. Sometimes, I'm a frickin' idiot.
***
Will date for "Supergirl" comps. But only if they are of good quality and paint a picture of blond blue-eyed alien adolescence that squares away with my own set of values. If they are generally exploitative and have all the depth of a later episode of the the "Saved By The Bell" canon (after Mario Lopez left), am only willing to talk on phone for ten minutes about weather and politics.
Despite the fact that I think Nick Cage is a terrible actor, I have tremendous respect for him. When he was originally cast as Superman, he outright refused to do some of the idiotic things they wanted to do with the character (black alien suit and no flying), believing in the traditional uplifiting one.
ReplyDeleteWho do I have to blow to get Spiderman 3 tickets? I am happily in a relationship, but hell fucking yes would I whore myself out for tickets to the premiere (sorry honey, but you know it's true).
ReplyDeleteMan, I wish I'd thought of that.
ReplyDelete