"Oh No, They're Sneaking Teh Gay Into My Comic!"

I think the post at this blog sums up every way you can say "I do not like teh gay" without actually admitting that you do not like gays.

What was the impetus of the post?

"The Young Avengers trade. What did it do, you ask? Well, I finally got around to reading it, and it was wonderful. It was full of Avengers, Avenger wanna be's, time travel and Kang acting particularly nasty. It was great. UNTIL the last two pages when the writer slips in the fact that two of the characters are dating each other! "

Which characters? Hulking & Wiccan, of course.

The poster immediately follows this up with:

"Why do I care?"

So there shouldn't have been a reference to Wiccan & Hulking's relationship because it's not something this reader cared about? Aren't there a lot of stuff in the comics we read that we don't care about? I skim through whole scads of cosmic mumbo-jumbo in "Death of the New Gods" because I don't care about it. Can't say it ruins the whole series for me.

"Let's add this to rumors of Nightwing being gay, a gay Batwoman, the new Question being gay… I'M SICK OF IT!"

Why is he sick of it? Because he does not like teh gays? Apparently not, because a paragraph later he says:

"If you want to add a gay character, fine!"

Well that's just awesome. But there is a proviso:

"Add a gay character, but start with him as gay."

This line refers to "retcons" of older characters as gay. But I think Heinberg pretty much conceived Hulkling & Wiccan as gay from the start. So what is the problem?

"...why is it so important to let us know the sexuality of a character right away? Straight characters are not immediately introduced as straight, but gay characters are almost immediate "outed" as gay."

Well, when a character like Spider-Man is showed having a romantic relationship with MJ, that's sort of tipping us off as to his probable sexual preference. Unless, of course, Peter Parker is teh bisexual.

"Since I'm ranting anyway, when did it become a requirement that every superhero team have a gay character?"

Here we go....

"Why is it in my face??????"

Oh, because there's sooooo many gay characters in mainstream comics. It's overwhelming.

"...I really think it's all Warren Ellis's fault."

(grabs popcorn, sits back in couch)

"If Stormwatch/Authority hadn't been such a success then I don't think this would have happened."

Heavens!

"I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own home."

Of course not.

"I don't care if you like men or women or sheep or even horses."

Ah, the old "conflating-homosexuality-with-bestiality" gambit. Clever.

"Live whatever alternative lifestyle you like but don't force it upon me."

How does a lesbian Batwoman = putting a gun to this reader's head?

"Seriously, I feel that the whole gay culture has been thrust upon me in the last five years. And, thanks to all of this, not only do I get to have the birds and bees talk I get to incorporate the sometimes bees like bees instead of birds talk."

So now we are at teh "gay bees" stage of the conversation.

"You want to know why I don't read Winnick?"

Because he didn't remember that Black Canary could have harmlessly disabled not-Ollie with a sonic scream?

"Seriously, every series he has touched turns up another gay or aids related character."

Wait, Winick gives AIDS to comic books he touches? What?

"I got it JW. It was a big deal and I am really sorry that you lost a friend, that sucks, but leave me out of your grieving process."

Sensitive.

"Same goes for Devin Greyson."

Well, who here didn't see that coming?

"You want to talk diversity? WHO CARES?"

Well, some people care, actually.

"All I'm saying is enough is enough and let's get back to superheroes beating up supervillians and leave all the other stuff at home."

Okay, so let's take all the romantic aspects -- girlfriends and boyfriends, dating, etc. -- out of mainstream comics. Let's just have Thor bashing in Hulk's head with his Mjolnir hammer over and over again.

Added bonus: some gems from the comments section:

"Writers like Greg Rucka not only want greater diversity in comics, but do so at the expense of white, hetero males. Rucka had single-handedly eliminated nearly every white male in Gotham during his tenure on the bat-books."

(after explaining he's against gay marriage):
"Ironically, I really like a lot of music performed by gay artists: The Village People, Queen, Elton John, the Indigo Girls, the Smiths and Morrisey. I tend to steer clear from overt “gay” only themed songs (sometimes you can’t listen too closely)..."
So they're good enough to make the music you like but not good enough to get married to the people they love? Why do I get a picture in my head of Archie Bunker telling Sammy Davis Jr. that he's a good performer?

And the best:
"I for one am so friggin' sick of heterosexual characters being shoved into my comics that I could scream. I mean, why does it MATTER that Spider-man and Mary Jane are a couple? I don't want to know that! Why do people who choose to live the heterosexual alternative lifestyle feel the need to force that on me?!

I blame Superman and Lois Lane for all of this."