ASBAR #10 and The Coming Comics Witchhunt?

Would a parent accidentally buy these comics for their child?



Look folks, I don't have kids to accidentally buy these comics for, and I know too much about what's currently going on to make the mistake even if I did.

But when this crowd:


finally decides to make this the bee in their bonnet du jour, there's going to be a lot of fucking problems.

And you can say: "well, fuck them anyway, they're a bunch of reactionary maniacs." And you might be right. But as time goes on, and the gore and the sex and language gets more extreme on books that are both not clearly enough marked for adults only AND feature characters that are cross-marketed to kids -- there becomes less and less of a defense.

But what really scares me is the possibility that books of real quality -- such as Watchmen, Preacher, etc. -- will get lumped into the comics witch-hunt. That the good stuff will be taken down because of the crap.

Not that I think books like Watchmen, etc. would get banned from libraries and certain bookstores just because some conservatives were pissed off. You only gotta worry about that if, say, some religious fanatic gets into office after her aged and sick running mate bites the bullet. And I mean -- what are the chances of that happening?

But a book like Watchmen is far too deep to them, too far removed from the funnybooks to really make a lovely self-righteous case out of it. It's not sexy enough for Fox News.

But you know what is?

This.

The utter fucking stupidity of insisting on printing black censor bars over the actual lettering of All-Star Batman and Robin #10 -- why, so you can be real cute and have the letters peek tantalizingly over the sides, so you can only imagine what curse word is being used?

The fact that, even with the black bars, you would think that dialog like this was acceptable in a comic starring characters which are licensed full-tilt to little children, in a comic with a cover that looks like the most iconic and "safe" Batman story you can find:

"...little jailbait CUNT's making us look bad... we cut her come on...

...sweet piece in sweet slices... tasty sliced booty the little CUNT..."

It's not even justifiable by saying "artistic license" -- this is like eight grades down from one of Quentin Tarantino' s lesser films. This is Frank Miller simply picking up his paycheck, the same way he plunked his arm down on hunk of bristol for the cover of Dark Knight Strikes Again, traced it, and got a big paycheck for an awesome cover.


You know what's missing on that cover? The middle finger.

But while discussing the pulping of All-Star Batman and Robin #10, these weren't the biggest issues on my mind. First question I asked: "Who will get blamed?"

And I thought about it, and said: "I don't think there's enough assistant editors left over there to scapegoat over this."

That's A Bigga Pizza Pie!

Question: Why is the stereotyping of Italian-Americans still acceptable?

I was watching this episode of "Fairly Odd-Parents" the other day that had a Jetsons parody -- basically, "what if the Jetsons were Italian?" And you had people talking like gangsters, threatening to do violence on other people for no reason, intimidation, etc. To be clear: the cartoon was not parodying gangsters. It was parodying Italians.

If this was a parody of another nationality, you might have had the episode pulled. But why is it acceptable with Italians?

Or take Super Mario Bros. Mario is an Italian stereotype. And when they have him talk, he talks in a stereotypical Italian accent. Fine. I'm not asking for it to be pulled. I'm just asking that you take a minute and picture a similar character based on some other group of people.


I know. Super Mario is a beloved cultural icon, a part of the fabric of our childhoods. Just like Memin Pinguin is to Mexico?

To me, it's the same blindness, the same offensiveness. And the fact that people will no doubt defend the icon of Super Mario to the death on this and other blogs/boards points to the fact that we all have our cultural blind spots.

It's like when you need to write an organized crime story, just plop in an Italian gangster. Call him "Boss Ronzoni," have him fight Batman, and call it a day. Never mind how many different nationalities are into organized crime these days. "Boss Ronzoni," "Boss Cannoli," "Boss Rigatoni." "Boss Falcone." Take your pick.


Hey, at least Marvel back the old school used to have a little fun with it. Instead of The Mafia, they had...The Maggia!

You want to turn me off to reading a story about Gotham City? Start peppering it with lame-ass cliché Italian gangsters. Please see how much I don't care.

And that's nothing compared to how one of the titans of science fiction decided to be cute on the phone and say to me, in an Italian accent: "that's a bigga pizza pie!" 'Cause you know, he noted that my last name was Italian. I'm sure he thought and still thinks he's the most liberal guy on this or any other planet.

Oh, and before I forget:I hate this fucking film.

Will Smith as Captain America?

What do you think?

The Comics Are Made For 14-Year-Olds

If this DC thread criticizing the dark n' gritty tone of their books still worked (and who knows, by the time you read this, it might -- or maybe it's been just shoved down the memory hole), you could read for yourself the cynical musings of one poster, who said something like:

"The comics are made for 14-year-olds; what do you expect?"

What does the average 14-year-old (male) want for entertainment?


I think the key to the current DC offerings is exactly that -- just shoveling what they feel the masses want. It's a simple equation. What's the difference between torture porn in the latest "Saw" movie and in Teen Titans? Not a whole hell of a lot. It doesn't matter.

How about the idea that our pop-culture helps inform the ethical and moral standards of impressionable youth? It doesn't matter. If their parents are doing a shitty job, then let them grow up with the idea that violence is acceptable. What, Superman is supposed to teach them something? That's naive, don't you think? Superman, he's like one step away from Borat and Carrot Top, right?

A company can do whatever they want, if the numbers justify it. What they can't do is hold their heads high and wrap that red Superman cape around themselves like the everloving American flag. No, now that I think about it, they could still do that, too. They can do whatever they want, create whatever version of reality they want and just project it. It doesn't matter. They are not moral arbiters. They're just peddling funny books, keeping that Superman copyright tight until which time it's pried from their cold zombified hands.

The Last Day Of Astroland (with pics)

As you may or may not know, today was the last day of Astroland Park at Coney Island. Tomorrow, it will be sold off.

How this area was not designated a protected landmark is beyond me. Actually, it's very obviou$. Shame on the people who were in a position to save this national -- NATIONAL -- institution but didn't because they were greedy bastards. On the slate for the area:
* 26 new high rises of up to 30 stories each
* Shrinkage of the Amusement district from 61 acres to 9 acres
* Possible retail, malls, and other pre-fab materialist bullshit
Source

Astroland Park was a low-cost, easy-to-travel-to center of entertainment for countless people, especially children -- and especially people who might not have been able to afford trips elsewhere. It was also the provider of jobs for many locals.

Above that -- it's fucking Coney Island! I just don't get it. Brooklyn let one of its arguably most famous attractions fall to condos and shopping malls. Standing in the middle of Astroland park today, I felt like this:

After Going Through 20 Pages Of Spam:

My favorite headline: "Paris Hilton Violated By Gypsies"

That took some thought.

Oh wait..."Paris Hilton Crowned Miss Vagina 2008" was pretty good, too.

And no, I didn't find any useful email that might have been accidentally filtered.

Fangirl Fridays: The Road To Me

First, I wanted to apologize for not posting that often this week. I feel really creatively blocked. I feel as if I am in a transitional point in my life (though I know I've been saying this for a while -- well, it's been a bunch of transitions). Plus -- it's really really hot in my apartment, and it's not helping. I'm a big fan of Fall weather, weather that has yet to appear in my neck of the woods. The heat irritates me, it attracts bugs, and the numerous fans positioned around the apartment are not helping.

Part of the creative block is the result of a decades-long struggle I have with being truly, truly myself. When I see artists, or even regular folk, dress and write and paint and act the way they completely want to -- I'm jealous. Sometimes I also think they're nuts. But overlapping that is jealousy.


Because I just can't risk the embarrassment. I can't risk not being loved. I can't risk losing everything. I mean, "Goodbye To Comics" was easy. I had absolutely nothing. The only thing they had to take away from me was nothing.

It's like bringing my vampire novel to a publisher and them wanting to turn it into a porno and me going along with it against my better judgment. Or taking my memoir to an agency and them wanting to turn it into a tell-all about sex in the comic book industry and me going along with it against my better judgment. Or going into the hair salon and wanting a short cut but not getting it because I'm afraid people will like me less if I look less feminine. Or going through the trouble of uploading 400+ pieces of artwork on Flickr and then setting the privacy preferences so only I can see them. Or leaving out elements of who I fundamentally am so I can be a "good" leader of a feminist organization.


Fuck it, I can't take that any more.

I want to be liked, I want to be adored, I want people to say "nice job, Val," and yes, I want gigs, but I cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot be anyone other than myself.

And when I'm myself -- when I'm myself, trust me, I'll be a more mellow and happy person to know.

Election Malaise

I've been asked many times this past week what I think of Republican VP pick Sarah Palin. Before I address this, let me back up.

I find myself making many snap judgments on these candidates based on the broad strokes and bells and whistles the media -- mostly online, but some MSNBC and Comedy Central -- feed me. I am supposedly a smart cookie; that's what it says on my college diploma. "Smart Cookie." Yet I buy what the media tells me, especially if they are of (allegedly) the same ideological stripe as myself.

I like Barack Obama and I want him to win the election. The biggest reason I want him to win, quite frankly, is because I feel this nation has been beaten down over these eight years and that psychologically him becoming president will be a boost in morale. It's the Kennedy thing all over again -- young charismatic man, A New Hope, Luke Skywalker, the whole nine. It is, to my mind, a positive forward step for our country.


But, in my vigor for him to win, I block out anything that might contradict that. I do that. I consciously do that. Now, I'm not referring to the paranoid racist bullshit that's been spewed about him. To me, that's rather obviously wrong and undeserving of discussion.

But take something like his level of experience. It's an issue. But it's an issue I consciously chose to ignore. Part of the reason I chose to ignore it is because I feel the last eight years under Bush rule have been so outrageously bad -- and McCain giving me no assurance that he is so very different -- that we must do everything possible to prevent a sequel.

Is the messiah/celebrity/icon thing that has been referred to regarding Obama accurate? Of course it is. He is extremely charismatic. He's the only politician I've ever felt compelled to hang a portrait of in my house.


Sarah Palin is also charismatic. I partially agree with the point-of-view that McCain picked her as a gimmick to attract frustrated female Clintonites. But also, it seems to me, she was picked by him as a knowing "fuck you" to Obama -- choosing someone with a similar level of inexperience (and easy on the eyes) who can rally a lot of people and be media candy.

And Palin and Obama are media candy. So was Clinton, so was Reagan. GWB was as well, but in a negative sense, as someone you love to hate -- the National Buffoon.

Through all the media candy, I try to look for something fucking real.

But -- real doesn't sell.

Middle-of-the-road doesn't sell either. Neither does critical thinking. We need a *cause* -- someone to hate, someone to worship.

Sarah Palin? I'm not happy with her. That's a gut feeling. The fact that she shares with McCain the belief that we must stay in Iraq "until we win it" tells me a lot, that I absolutely don't want her to be my Vice-President. But I could step in the murky water of actually looking at her good qualities. I could do that, but strategically I can't. Strategically -- we have to destroy her. Just like we did Hillary.


And did you hear -- she's banning books! She wants to ban Harry Potter! It's true -- I read it on BoingBoing! Only...the oft-cited list of books she wants to ban -- or is that burn -- is not true. It's actually taken from here. But that hasn't stopped people from blogging about it everywhere.

But it doesn't matter what is right -- or left. We need fuel for our sides, both sides, to keep the extremism going.

This two-party system doesn't work for me. The danger with only having two major political parties is that everything gets extreme, becomes "Us" vs. "Them." And yet -- how very different are they? I have yet to see any real, fundamental change. Yeah, GWB had a lot of fuckups and skeletons -- but so did Bill Clinton. There's still tons of poor people, we still go into countries and bomb the shit out of them, and women are still exploited whether by written policy or on their knees in the Oval Office.

I'm tired of it. I will definitely vote for Obama. But after that, I'm going to seek a candidate out of this loop.

Cylon Wednesday

It...is Wednesday, isn't it?

(yes, but no new comics until Thursday, because of Labor Day)

Those Who Go And Those Who Stay

Just as an appendix to the previous post, I decided, just for fun, to figure out how many of the editors in the DCU department who I worked with have either resigned, been fired, or have transfered to other departments since Dan DiDio was hired.

I'm not going to list the names, but the number is about 12.

Those who have remained? About 6. About 6 of my former co-workers are left.

There is more I could say -- I could analyze things, break them down, etc. But I'm not.

I guess I could say that with such a steep turnover in staff, the department is hardly the one I left. And yet -- it still is.

Oh well -- Que Sera, Sera:

The DCU Assistant Editor Exodus Continues...

According to the latest LITG...

"Today, I hear DCU Assistant Editor Nachie Castro gave his notice to DC Comics, to move to Disney Publishing. As is standard practice when an employee chooses to move to a rival, he won't have to serve his notice, was asked to pack up his things and left DC this morning."

Nachie is a really great editor who brings a lot to the table, not the least of which is his knowledge of and outreach to indie comic artists. He's an asset to whomever hires him.

This means of course, dear readers, that another slot in the DC editorial department might be opening up -- and that you too might have the chance to know the joy that is working as an assistant editor for the company.

Is This 1801 Scroll A Comic Book?

Just ran into this while surfing randomly online. It's a scroll from Japan dated 1801 recounting a story called the Ooishi Hyoroku Monogatari.

What is the story about? Heroes and weird villains.

Look at some samples (the complete scroll here):


Is this a type of comic book? Why or why not?

(via Pink Tentacle)

The Titans Rant

From Titans #4:

Page One: Our heroes stand around with facial expressions that range from empty to worried to confused.

Beast Boy: I gotta say...I really didn't see this coming! Did you guys see this coming?

Donna Troy: No.

Flash: I don't think any of us did.

Three pages later, faced with the rampaging villains running towards them, our heroes repeat the same dazed, empty, confused looks. Beast Boy still drags out the "uh, so it's not just me, right? you see them too? dude?"

And they just stand there as one of the bad guys makes a move, knocking them all down like bowling pins.

Four issues into Titans, I'm still not impressed. This makes the Wonder Dog stuff in Teen Titans seem like Watchmen. It's just not good comics, folks. This is like some bad 90s flashback, stuff you'd find in some random Image comic starring some character named DeathBlud.

The majority of the comments on Newsarama about the 3-page preview -- at least as of the third page of comments -- overwhelmingly hated this preview. Even DC/Teen Titans fans.

"I loved Winick's writing on Outsiders & elsewhere...but it just leaves me cold here on the Titans. He just doesn't seem to have a handle on the characters. After reading the first 3 issues I figured it was going to be yet another shortly ended series."

"I don't mind Winick's writing - but this story just stinks and like mentioned above, Wolfman did it better."

"why did DC put such a bad creative team on a book that could have been so good?"

" Judd Winnick, the anti Grant Morrison....."

"Bad writing, horrible art, juvenile character development, recycled plot ideas. Just the whole wretched package."

"The art ain't so bad, but the dialog! In the face of what's about to happen, what's falling out of these characters mouths is unbelievable! This reads like a rejected script from Aaron Sorkin and Thommy Schlamme! Or even worse; the last season of M.A.S.H.! Even with my LCS discount, why am I reading this book?"

"I'm so glad I dropped this after #2. The writing and art just don't seem to sync up with these characters one bit. I was so looking forward to this and so wildly disappointed. When a new writer and artist come on, I'll probably give it another look."

"Like a lot of you, evidently, I dropped this book with the second issue. The only time that I have EVER dropped a Titans related book from clear back to the original Robin, Kid Flash, Aqualad issue of Brave & Bold, but this is just horrendous."

" Wow. That is some awesomely bad dialogue -- puerile and clunky at the same time."

"I called this one, so did many others: Judd Winick = Bad Title. But I can't agree on the art. Joe Benitez is an excellent artist. He just can't deliver when the story dosn't compliment his talents. No artist could."

I could go on and on, but you can read the rest of the comments for yourself.

Why is this book still going on like this? Who's in charge of the ship? How bad do things have to be before someone puts the hammer of god down and says: enough?

In every other medium and industry, when something's not good -- especially in this economy -- it gets pulled. Even stuff that's sorta good, or has a small niche audience, but is not pulling in the numbers. Why is this the only industry where a series like Countdown can go on for a whole year and a book with the quality of Titans can move past issue three?

I think there are a few reasons:

1. Time Warner sees DC mostly as a R&D wing of their entertainment unit, and judges them on their intellectual property more than the actual content of their books. There's no magnifying glass on either the sales or the quality.

2. I don't know -- is DCU Editorial a meritocracy?

Definition of meritocracy (via Wikipedia): system of a government or another organization wherein appointments are made and responsibilities are given based on demonstrated talent and ability (merit), rather than by wealth (plutocracy), family connections (nepotism), class privilege (oligarchy), cronyism, the will of the people (as in democracy) or other historical determinants of social position and political power. In a meritocracy, society rewards (by wealth, position, and social status) those who demonstrated talent and competence, demonstrated through past actions or by competition.

I have no answer to that, I'm just throwing out the question. I can think of only one strategic appointment of an editor to that department over the last several years that fits the sort of purposeful cultivation of talent that, at the very minimum, a company needs in order to compete.

The problem is -- I think there is no sense of competition. DC has Batman & Watchmen as properties, and hence has won the comic book lottery. They slap the names "Grant Morrison" and "Alex Ross" on their books and call it a day. And if anybody questions them, they go "Dark Knight Dark Knight blah blah blah Dark Knight." It's like they have Tourettes syndrome: "Dark Knight! Dark Knight!"

Regardless of the reasons why -- this book is sorta a dog.

Would You Pay $125 For A Comics Anthology?

There's a lot of hubbub lately over the latest volume of Kramer's Ergot, an "indie" comics anthology. The reason? It's $125 for 96 pages.

To be fair, the book itself is enormous in size, 16 x 21 inches. You've got all the cool cats contributing to it: Chris Ware, Kim Deitch, Daniel Clowes, Jaime Hernandez, etc. But it's still one-hundred and twenty-five bucks. Or $78.75 pre-ordered on Amazon.

Personally, I have no problem with the price on this book. I mean, I'll never buy it. Well, maybe for $50.00 with a torn cover five years from now at The Strand.

There's so much drama over the pricing of Kramer's Ergot 7, and I'm trying to figure it all out. Is Buenaventura Press being elitist by charging so much, preventing the world from partaking in the latest comics from the masters of the medium?

Look, the people who really, really want this book will find a way to get it. And people like me, who'd like to read it but have no interest in plunking down $125, will probably find a way to eventually read/buy it. And if I never get to read it -- I'll live.

Personally, I think this is a play for the market outside the direct market. For the person with the money to spend who's looking for the "creme de la creme" of what the comic book community has to offer -- this is the book. This, Watchmen, and Brubaker's Captain America. All in really expensive, sprawling, gorgeous volumes.

Believe me, the best thing that could happen for the indie comics community is to open up to these new customers and venues. This is the answer for the genius comic creator at MoCCA art Fest or SPX who painstakingly hand-prints their book on DIY papyrus. Get in with this market, this market that would no doubt purchase copies of Kramer's Ergot 7. How do you think the designer vinyl toy market stays afloat? 'Cause there are people who are willing to pay far more than $125 for a 30-inch rabbit with a pattern printed on it.

Which is not to say that Kramer's Ergot doesn't offer something more deep than a plastic rabbit. But I'm looking at this primarily from the position of, "is this a smart business move?"

Now, where the Direct Market might take a hit, on this book and just about any OGN or TPB offered by the comic companies, is in these steep Amazon.com discounts. But that's a topic for another day.

The End Of Mary Tyler Moore

"I think that the notion of job security I referred to earlier -- such a staple of life when I was growing up -- was just part of an era. I don't think it's the defacto way things are with working in America, or even should be."

Within less than a week of my post "Uncommon Strategies For An Uncommon World," the company for which I had been working full-time, and had recently switched to freelancing for, suddenly closed. Within a month, after the paperwork has been done and things are squared away, the company will most likely cease to exist. There are new tenants in the space already.

Please do not extend condolences to me. I have a near-ghoulish knack for forecasting events far in advance of their occurrence. I build my skill sets and develop my outlook to accommodate such developments. I've become very practiced in the art of feigning surprise.

What I do not feign is my sympathy and sorrow for my co-workers, most of whom had no idea the axe was going to fall so soon, if at all. This was not a young company, and several people had invested a chunk of their lives in it. To be frank, dealing with this was like dealing with a death -- the death of an entity, rather than a person. The death of a routine. The death of a specific set of plans.


Nor do I blame the owner of the company, who probably held out as long as she did as much for her employees as for a particular business strategy. She worked hard to maintain a family-like and humane atmosphere for the organization.

This all feels like a flashback to when Acclaim Comics closed the doors to their NYC office -- what, exactly TEN YEARS AGO?

And yet it's like me looking back from the other side. When Acclaim closed, I was caught completely unaware, and I was devastated. We all were devastated. But I remember how my immediate boss, who had just prepared her first novel for her publisher, was so zen about the whole thing. I just couldn't understand it -- why wasn't she as distraught as me? How could you be calm? The company, as we knew it, died. The company died!


Now I understand.

My company was not in the comic book field. And yet, I cannot help but think of Virgin Comics as I write this. Virgin won't be the last one to fall in this period of economic slowdown/clusterfuck. I expect more sudden axes to fall -- not out of any insider info, but based on that same ghoulish intuition. I'm not happy about it. It's never happy.

And how do we survive such uncertain, uncommon times?

1. Be Flexible
2. Anticipate Change
3. Develop New And Relevant Skill Sets

Mary Tyler Moore used to be my model as far as making it in a career was concerned. I've been wracking my brain for the last ten minutes trying to come up with an example of a pop-culture heroine who embodies what my current role-model is. But I can't think of one. I think I'm going to have to create one.