Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas

Hi all,

Again, thanks for all the emails of support that are coming in.

I'm closing shop until Dec. 29.

It's just my crazy work schedule before Christmas, and the fact that the holidays are sacred to me. I realize for some people, nothing is sacred. I think we are just going to have to agree to disagree on that one. What else more can be said?

If you comment, I will still moderate, though I will put a cap on any extremely long threads. I just don't have the time to sort through 100+ comments.

If you email, I will still respond, but when schedule permits.

Have a very happy and healthy holiday, and I will see you before the New Year! :-)

My Christmas List

Sweetie has been nagging me to put together my Christmas list for the last few weeks and now I'm down to the wire.

So here is my Christmas list for Sweetie:

1. Shoe Rack
A shoe rack is key, as my cat enjoys vomiting on my shoes. On my shoes, in my shoes. Sweetie assures me that the cat is not purposely seeking my shoes to vomit in, but rather they just happened to be there at the time. I do not buy this explanation, and I think it underestimates the intelligence of said feline. Sweetie and my cat are always ganging up on me and eating my cereal.

2. Red Metal Tea Kettle
It is official -- I am an old, old woman, and nothing turns me on more than a shiny new red tea kettle.

3. Garfield Minus Garfield
I'm not sure if I want this book so much because I desire to read it, or if it's just the idea that Jim Davis wasn't a dick about the whole thing and instead gave his blessing.

4. Omega: The Unknown (Jonathan Lethem)
It is my sincere hope that by having all the issues collected in one volume, ready to read as a unit, I will be able to finally understand this mini-series. Will let you know how that goes.

5. Omega: The Unknown Classic (Steve Gerber)
My plan has always been to read the two series side-by-side, and by so doing have my brain explode with some sort of revelation as to the elliptical creative genius of the whole enterprise. As if I have the time to do all of this.

6. Marvel Illustrated: Picture Of Dorian Gray Hardcover Edition
It's pretty Victorian slash fiction. Reason enough.

Holiday Round-Up

Have you ever tried to buy a Christmas tree the day before Christmas? We settled on a tasteful white wire tree, about four feet tall, covered in little lights.

"Can we hang ornaments on this tree?"

(consulting instructions) "Well, it says here not to hang ornaments on wire, cord, or lights."

"Does wire mean the branch?"

"That's not much of a branch."

Well, it looks lovely in the dark.

Presents were exchanged to the sound of a selection of holiday music on ITunes. When it was over, there were the remains of numerous hastily-opened Marvel Legends packages all over the room. Thank God they don't put those in that clamshell packaging anymore.


Santa was very nice to me this year. First off, I received a copy of World's Greatest Toys: Mego 8"Super-Heroes. This is an insanely researched coffee-table book about Mego action figures featuring giant Chip Kidd-esque photos of the toys on detail. Let me tell you, many of these toys were not meant to be blown up to that size. The Captain America doll has staring googly eyes like a Keane painting. But I really enjoyed the book, and stated my intention to start investing our savings in mint Megos on the Kresge card, which went over well.


Next, I got a Mary Marvel action figure in her white "variant" dress. This is before she became a filthy evil slut. I like the Captain Marvel line of action figures in general, and have put the two-pack with "Hoppy" next on my list.

Finally, I got a microwave oven. Microwave ovens are one of those things you take for granted until you do not have them. Actually, the oven I had before this was an inherited item, about the size of a Buick, and covered in faded wood tone. We called it The Cancer Oven. So this present was much appreciated, and best of all it accommodated the scope of my cooking ability.

Christmas morning brought waffles and the WPIX Yule Log. By 12:00 it was announced that "Christmas is over, back to work." But as of 8:40 this morning, I feel as if I am still there, somewhere, in that Yuletide paradise. I think it's the damn tree.

Occasional Links: YouTube Yule Log Edition

If your holiday DVD collection is a bit on the sparse side (like mine -- I mean how many times can I watch that South Park Mr. Hanky special?), YouTube is a great resource.

Christmas TV Special Montage: When it got to Full House, I started blubbering away.

Vintage Toys R Us CommericalFrom the 1970s: Toys R us and Christmas were always inextricably linked in my mind. It's the greed factor, I know.

Erasure's Andy Bell and Melissa Etheridge sing X-Mas: Worst Lip-Synch Ever!

Cingular's Christmas Story Parody Ad: "You'll poke your eye out with that cell phone!"

DirecTV "Movie Villains" Christmas Ad:


The Monkees Go Christmas Tree Shopping: And looking damn cool doing it!

A Pac-Man Christmas (abridged version): Thankfully edited so you don't waste too much of your life.

Star Wars Holiday Special: Also thankfully edited. With the Jefferson Starship!

"A Better Or For Worse" Christmas: No, I didn't know they made this one, either.

Barking Pee Wee Herman "Jingle Bells": Yes. Exactly.

A Charlie Brown Heavy Metal Christmas

A Charlie Brown "Scrubs" Christmas

A Charlie Brown Christmas Alternate Ending (NSFW)

A Charlie Brown Pulp Fiction Christmas

Eric Cartman Sings "Oh Holy Night": Sublime. One of my favorites.

That Rankin Bass X-Mas Cartoon With The Mouse: You know the one.

That Tom And Jerry Cartoon Where Tom Almost Lets Jerry Freeze To Death: (shudder)

"The Snowman": Fast-forward to around 9:30 to see him all melted. And that's the end of the cartoon. Damn intellectual cartoons!

Carl Sagan's Global Warming Christmas Special: With Tom Hanks as Dean Martin.

An Andy Williams NBC Kids Christmas Special: With Punky Brewster, the Cosby Kids, and a young Joey Lawrence!

You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch, "House" Style:


Christmas With Harley Quinn

Child Gets Nintendo 64 for Christmas, Goes Insane: Nope, this holiday isn't getting too materialistic.

A Foamy Christmas (NSFW)

Lobo ParaMilitary Christmas Special (NSFW): Remember Lobo? He was cool once.

Santa Claus Pwns The Martians

Scared of Santa Claus: Montage of photos of kids scared by department store Santas

Santa Claus Is Watching You by Ray Stevens: Stalking is apparently prime humor fodder.

Frosty the Snowman Meets Al Gore (NSFW)

Urban Legend: Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer Swimming Bird Death Plunge

Cute Little Bird Rides Christmas Train

Red Bull Christmas Commerical: Three Wise Men give Red Bull to baby Jesus, claims it has angelic powers.

And Let's Not Forget The YouTube Yule Log: