The Bloggy Memoir "Goodbye To Comics" is now completed.
If you have just reached this blog and have some hours you don't mind never getting back, please start with the first post and work your way up.
If you have finished the whole blog and are reading this, you get a kitten.
And if you came here accidently after doing the keyword search "Sexy Superheroine Rape," please go fuck yourself.
Kittens are nice. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI am not quite sure what to say after reading all this, except that you find it within yourself to leave all of this behind.
ReplyDeleteA lot of what you said I can't possibly relate to or truly sympathize with since I do not have the experiences.
What I can relate to...I used to have a dream too. I wanted to work in film. And I was successful for a time (well, in television.) I worked on a lot of projects several of which I know you have heard of.
But in the end, I didn't make it. 99.3% of is my fault. I just don't have the personality for it.
After which I felt like a failure. Here was my dream, what my life was supposed to amount to, and I didn't make it. Did this make my life a failure? What happens next?
Sorry, I don't have your talent with words but I wonder if you are feeling the same thing I did. We almost got to the sun but then fell back to earth.
Nah. There are other dreams out there for me, good ones that I can work towards. I am 34 and I am still deciding what I want to be when I grow up, and that is half the fun.
Anyway, my point: My wish for you is that you can put all of this behind you and find new dreams and you have all the joy and luck in pursing them.
And I like kittens too. Thanks.
I'm at work and I've been reading this since 3.30am, it's now 5.17am. Two things strike me, one is an admiration for your honesty in writing all this down in such a public arena and the other is an overwhelming hope that things work out for you, that you leave comics behind and that you find the happiness you deserve.
ReplyDeleteGod bless and thanks for the kitten
After reading about all of your pain and the struggles you've gone through, all I can say is that I'm madly jealous of your sensitivity, and your cleverness, and your honesty. When all the strong and noble women in comics are raped and killed and forgotten about, at least those of us who throw it all away in empty frustration and look out into the real world will see that the comic fantasy world is just that. There are in fact real superheroines we can look up to, who acknowledge their consciences and chose to live truth and justice without preaching it, and are willing to sacrifice all for it. I wish you well, and I wish us all a brighter future.
ReplyDeleteJen
P.S. My kitten and I look forward to seeing your book hit the big time. We'll be rooting for you.
I'm still not certain precisely how I found my way to this page (it wasn't through a Google search, thankyouverymuch), but I did indeed read the whole thing, and collected the proffered kitten.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure others more articulate than myself have said it better, but your monologue really touched me, and I don't say that too often.
Good on you, and good luck.
I got here via a post on a message board and I am glad I clicked.
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful writer and I love kittens.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for the kitten.
ReplyDeleteMy husband sent me the link to your blog. He thought that I would enjoy reading it. Enjoy sure doesn't sound like the right word. Your writing moved me. I couldn't stop reading. I identified with far too much of it and empathized with the rest. You are a very gifted writer with an amazing ability to see yourself. Don't stop writing!
ReplyDeleteAnd, if it helps in any way, my husband is a lifelong comic book fan of the company I suspect you were referencing. He was gowing more and more disatisfied with the direction they were heading. The rape and murder of Vicki Victim was his final straw. He took down the posters he used in his classroom to help teach because they no longer stood for the values they once did. He no longer buys new books and is currently selling off all his old ones.
Wow. Found your blog via Rich Johnston's column, and have been reading it all day anytime I could steal a few minutes here and there.
ReplyDeleteLike pretty much everyone else I imagine, I'm left sort of speechless by both your story, your honesty and your courage. Not the courage to tell the tale, but the courage to live, to change, to move on.
Our personal histories have a way of constraining each of us, and it took incredible strength for you to break free and start a new chapter in your life. I'm grateful for your willingness to share and hopefully inspire similar courage in others. Thank you!
Excellent revelatory prose! (Whatever the hell that means!)
ReplyDeleteI was moved by your blog, especially your courage in coming forward with your sexual harrassment, AND your past abuse issues.
As a male supervisor, I recently found that one of my subordinates was serially sexually harassing female members of his staff. Once I knew what had happened, he was gone, and I did everything in my (limited) power to prevent him from getting another position so he could continue his sick behavior.
Most appalling was the response of the women, who had suffered for months in silence, thinking this behavior was just "part of the work experience". No one should have to be exposed to this level of pressure and sickness in the workplace. Hopefully your continued work will help eradicate this way of thinking.
The point I will take most to heart is your revelation about a life-altering event being a jump start to your creative engine. I am currently also a "writer who does not write", hopefully I will follow your lead and turn my past year of metaphorical kicks to the groin into something creative.
Thanks for your powerful words!
This is truth.
ReplyDeleteI say fuck fear, put the real names in and, fuck, get someone to draw it for you.
It wouldn't be my ass on the line, but I'd buy it and then force copies upon people.
To the Video Store Girl:
ReplyDeleteI have nothing to say that won't sound trite. I want to squeeze your hand, and say I'm proud of you.
So consider that done, if you're willing.
Got here via Karen Healey at Girls Read Comics.
Best,
Jocelyn
I've never been good at relating consolations in words, so instead I'll just see your kitten and raise you a rabbit.
ReplyDeleteHopefully that will make your day brighter.
I hope things go better for you in a different industry, and that your health improves. My wife has suffered from a difficult-to-diagnose illness for multiple years now, and we finally identified it as Lyme's Disease, and she's finally on the road to recovery. I wish you well, and thanks for the kitten.
ReplyDeleteHelluva story.
ReplyDeleteLives of quiet desperation and all that. Thanks for sharing.
I know this is a while after you posted this, but i just wanted to say i hope your life has turned around and wish you the best, no one should have to experience what you have been through.
ReplyDeleteI admire your courage and the fact that you have been willing to write about your experiences.
Thanks
Thankyou.
ReplyDeleteThis really is excellent work and I admire you for your ability and what you've been through.
ReplyDelete...And now you're working for Marvel? I fully expect a sequel.
Wow. Just... wow. I just spent the last hour going through these posts after having my curiosity piqued by your mention at http://www.bleedingcool.com/2010/01/01/the-tenth-annual-rumour-awards-visual-of-the-year.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you probably know this already, but your writing is spellbinding.
I am shocked by what goes on behind the scenes of the comics industry. I am a huge "Gilgongo!" fan and in fact pass by their office building several times a week. Every time I walk by their building, I look up to spot the posters and neon signs that spotlight their biggest superheroes -- and wish that someday I have the chance to actually walk inside the building, head up in the elevator, and meet the people who provide me with so much entertainment and enjoyment. After reading your blog, though, I don't think I want to visit, and maybe I won't "look up in the sky" anymore when I pass the building where you endured so much physical and emotional pain.
I took out my copies of the infamous miniseries you reference and saw, indeed, that your name is absent in the credits for the latter half of the series and another editor took your place. I never noticed that before and am just amazed by how much - quite literally - goes on between the lines of the comics I read.
I am so glad to read that you have recovered and have been able to find work, fulfillment, and I hope happiness outside of comics. I hope you found writing this memoir therapeutic, as I imagine you have. My best wishes to you for a bright and happy future.