A Real Life Superhero Speaks Out

Hardwire, a regular reader of the blog and a Real Life Superhero, sent me an email clarifying the Real Life Superhero movement (as first mentioned in this post):

I just thought that maybe I would clear up a few discrepancies regarding the RLSH movement, and the community as a whole. I saw some of the comments, and it seems that the majority of people reading the post are uninformed.

First off, we're not all vigilante nut jobs. The majority of our community consists of men and women looking to do good through volunteer efforts, charitable fundraisers, and, of course, security patrols. Dark Guardian himself is a tremendous help to achieving these goals, as he has organized several events and drop-offs, and is in the process of getting Superheroes Anonymous, a RLSH organization, state (and later federal) non-profit status. In regards to what I do/have done, I have worked with Habitat for Humanity down in New Orleans, helped clean up my neighborhood, and have patrolled my city a ridiculous amount of times.

The uniforms, costumes, whatever you want to call them - yeah, they're a little unnerving, and they make us look a bit silly, but it also tells people we're harmless. We are no danger to American stability. If anything, we're boosters!

Yes, there are nut jobs who call themselves RLSHs, and think we're all about busting in crack dealers' skulls. Fortunately, those people typically just sit on forums or Myspace all day, talking about what they'd do, or making up fantastic stories.

Real Life Superheroes are just regular men and women who dress themselves in heroic alter egos, and set out to make a difference in someone's life, their neighborhood, or the world. They are selfless, compassionate individuals, with a strong sense of duty, honor, and responsibility. I can't say that I'm up there with the best of them, but those that are make me want to try.

You have my full permission to use this in a blog post.

Batman Vs. Darth Vader

Actually, this is exactly the sort of high-concept stuff the entertainment industry is looking for these days.

"You gotta gimme something sure-fire, that can I sell! I'm up to my ass in whiny autobiographies and morally-conflicted bounty hunters."

"Uh...Batman versus Darth Vader?"

"OH MY GOD!"

"Cloverfield Monster versus Godzilla?"

"OH MY GOD!"

"Lost: The Movie?"

"JUMPING JESUS ON A CRACKER!"

"Twilight 2?"

"YES! YES!"

"Legally Blond 3 direct to DVD starring that chick from Gossip Girl?"

"YES! DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!"

"Vampire versus Mummy?"

"..."

"In 3-D?"

"WHARRRRRRGBBBBLLLLL!!!"

Matt Damon! Hates James Bond

"...Bond is an imperialist, misogynist sociopath who goes around bedding women and swilling martinis and killing people. He's repulsive"
--Matt Damon

Real Life Superheroes: World Superhero Registry

"I am a man who will make a difference in this world. Some may call me a hero, a super-hero, a vigilante, or a nut job. I fight for all that is right and just. I protect the innocent and punish evil. I will drive myself self into the ground to help make this world a better place. I now only live my life for justice and the betterment of mankind."
-- Dark Guardian, real superhero

From The World Superhero Registry FAQ:

Q: What is a Real-Life Superhero?

A: A Real-Life Superhero is a person who does good deeds or fights crime while in costume.


Q: What is the purpose of wearing a costume while fighting crime or performing good deeds?

A: There are a variety of purposes. Here are a few:

-To inspire others

-To illustrate commitment to an ideal

-To protect one's privacy

-To avoid litigation

-To protect one's safety and the safety of one's family

-To conceal vulnerabilities in one's protective gear

-For concealment or camouflage

-To have more fun with public service


Q: Is this a role-playing game?

A: No. This is a movement among ordinary people to make the world a better place in an extraordinary way. There are always those who will take something less seriously, but the Real-Life Superhero community is generally composed of sincere, well meaning people who have finally decided to go out and make a difference.


Q: Is costumed crime-fighting legal?

A: That depends on how it is done and where it is done. Citizen's arrest statutes vary by state. Some states ban the wearing of masks. It would be wise to review the laws of your state and adjust your crime fighting strategy to comply with them. Some Real-Life Superheroes are sanctioned by the local law enforcement, others are forced to avoid the police at all costs.

And from their "Philosophy" page:

DO NO HARM

Mistakes are unacceptable when one is dealing with matters of Life and Death. Getting into a battle with a villain risks not only the lives of those involved, but those of anyone within range of their weapons.

Non-lethal means of apprehending a villain provide an essential safety-margin, although even non-lethal techniques can sometimes result in injury or death. Sound judgment is always essential to prevent tragedy.

Unless a Hero chances upon a major crime in progress, careful research and planning are essential to any action to be taken. Poor research and planning could result in trying to apprehend undercover law-enforcement officers and other undesirable outcomes


FAIRNESS

Although it may be tempting to pursue petty criminals due to the ease with which they can be found, in many cases it does not truly serve the cause of justice, nor is it worth the risk.

Apprehending prostitutes saves no lives, protects no property, and does not significantly advance the cause of justice.

Apprehending casual drug users is also of limited value to society.

When confronted by an essentially victimless crime, the appropriate response is, more often than not, a stern lecture.

And, if you should require it, legal advice is also available.

Characters I Kinda Dig: Quantum and Woody

Cracked/Mad Feud Reaches Fever Pitch

Sylvester P. Smythe was seen slapping Alfred E. Neuman with the backs of his hands yesterday, as the decades-old feud between Cracked & Mad continued its bloody reign.

News of Mad Magazine's recent hardships only added gasoline to what has already been a dark spot in the usually sunny world of humor periodicals. Cracked, (which is actually no longer a periodical) (which also actually hasn't even used Sylvester P. Smythe in years) tried to send an olive branch of sorts to Mad in the form of a post written by Daniel O'Brien.

Entitled, "Cracked Officially Starts Feeling Sorry for MAD Magazine," the post is a love-letter of sorts to the magazine that started America laughing more than fifty years ago.

"I wanted to reach out to you, but I just got so busy; see, we were installing hot tubs in all of the Cracked offices at the time, which required a ton of my attention, (you can’t install hot tubs within five feet of a chocolate fountain, which we’d just installed in October). They’re kind of tacky, I know, but we had some extra cash so why not, right?"

O'Brien also gives us a glimpse into the rich history the two humor magazines share:

"Oh, but one more real quick thing. As different as we are, (in terms of success, our adaptability with regards to the shifting trends in media, our superior sexual behavior), we do have one similarity. According to legend, longtime MAD editor William Gaines reportedly kept a voodoo doll in his office, in which he would stick pins, all labeled as various MAD “imitators,” (Cracked, Sick, The New York Times), and he would remove a pin whenever one of these imitators would stop publishing or disappear. At the time of Gaines’ death, there was only one pin left, and it was labeled “Cracked."

Which, of course, brought to mind:


It is my belief that only Obnoxio the Clown can bring these two sides together and restore the friendly rivalry they shared in the good old days, the days of reading material made of paper.

Occasional Links: Turner D. Century Edition

Turner D. Century: Best superhero name EVER!

Mickey Rourke pulls out of Wrestlemania AND JUST ABOUT BREAKS MY HEART!

Arrested Development movie still on (and Michael Cera on board)...

...and here is a mini-documentary of the cast talking about it.


USA Today demonstrates how to utilize popular culture figures in a manner designed to increase our knowledge and personal safety:

"And if someone is bothering you and won't stop, flag the real-life version of Paul Blart. If you don't see a mall cop nearby, go into a store and ask an employee there to call mall security."

Cats say: "stupid humans with their stupid toys"

A Ghost Rider movie sequel and more Nicholas Cage as Johnny Blaze...


Seth Rogen Green Hornet movie still on; Adam Sandler to cameo as "certain surprise superhero."

WHO WILL ADAM SANDLER CAMEO AS?????!!!??? ???
Will it be...TURNER D. CENTURY??/?/?

Oh yes, there will be Tribbles...

A brief history of the A-Team movie. Formerly considered for the role of Hannibal:


And Turner D. Century, updated for modern comic book readers:

"Protect Yourself At All Times"

Regular readers will probably notice this anyway, but just to be clear:

This site will no longer be host to my opinions on politics, feminism, ethics, morality, and, most importantly of course, "which comic is bad?" I certainly might on occasion put the question out to you, the reader, without any sort of deep commentary: for example, I might show a comic book cover and ask for your two cents. But for reasons of personal peace & safety, I can no longer "get too much into it" anymore.

On one hand, there is the taboo against expressing certain views that are not "the correct views." For example, the view that an artist might hold a degree of personal responsibility for what they produce. On the surface, this may not seem like that much of an explosive and divisive thing to say. It is an opinion, and not one that includes a request for governmental interference or any other compulsory limitations. However, just to mention such an opinion provokes such a reaction of hysteria, that it is clear to me that there can be no rational discussion in this format. And that's too bad.

When the breaking of this aforementioned taboo is coupled with the obsessiveness of certain hardcore fans, it produces something that I personally find disturbing and dangerous. And when I show somebody who is unfamiliar with this aspect of comic book fandom and online discourse what the results are -- both the reaction on my blog and off -- they get scared for me and usually suggest I shut Occasional Superheroine down completely.

I've done this for about two years now. Over that time, I have encountered many wonderful people. I have had many, many people email me privately and thank me for being so open about my experiences and opinions, and I have saved every email to remind me that this was not all for nothing. It is in deference to these people that I am explaining the current direction of this blog, rather than just quietly let the change take place with no acknowledgment.

I'm proud to have had the opportunity to express myself so openly regarding a whole range of issues. I am glad those opinions are on this site, and I have no plans to remove any of them. And in the future I might print some of these opinions in a book or in an alternate format. But like I said, I've been doing this for a couple of years now. In that time, I have had to weather at least fifty of what I refer to as "forest fires." These have included other people publicly ridiculing my most personal tragedies, and sending me explicit and threatening emails. The ferocity of these attacks have shocked even the most cynical comic industry friends I know.

Friends of mine who are professional comic creators tell me that some of this will not go away regardless of whether I post my opinions or not. Once I get into the realm of writing comics, there will be those who will go ballistic regarding even the seemingly most harmless plot point. I accept that. I accept that a wall, to an extent, has to go up. That you have filter a lot of the noise out, and perform the balance between letting fans in and keeping abusive people out. And that you can't react, that reacting and defending yourself publicly only throws gasoline on the situation. Okay. I get that.

But to regularly post opinions on this blog -- opinions that it has already been established some people do not react to rationally, or use and distort to pursue their own agendas -- only increases my exposure to this sort of abuse. I can't do it anymore, even to "be brave." I'm almost 35 years old. My health has never been quite as robust as I would like, and there is a tendency in my family to expire in one's late 30s/early 40s from heart-attacks and stroke. My dad died at 42, and his dad died at 40. Massive heart attacks. I don't need a doctor right now to advise me to stay away from stress, because I am more than aware of this. I have an immediate family member who is gravely ill, and another who I've been too preoccupied to give the help she really needs to raise her child. This is real life, and this is what's important.

My writing career is important to me as well. I think the people who create nefarious reasons about why I have a writing career are only about a few degrees above the anonymous emailer who writes about how I "fuck to get ahead," how I am a whore, complete with explicit descriptions of all the sexual favors I must be so freely giving. To me, it's all part of the same continuity. This has been done to women in the industry before -- and not just by men, but, most sadly, by other women. I particularly enjoy the conspiracy theories about how Marvel controls the content of my blog. Wow. Marvel Comics has never, ever expressed a single opinion, direction, or any words whatsoever to me regarding my blog, except for the comment, when we had our first communication, that I had a "powerful voice" in my writing. That was it. I have saved on Gmail hundreds of emails from people telling me that I have a powerful voice in my writing. So I guess Marvel and those hundreds of people were on the same page.

To be honest, some of the ways I've been treated within my own "community" have disillusioned me to a degree that "Goodbye To Comics" just couldn't touch.

But I'm still very grateful to the fans, to the people who have written in, to the friends that I have made through this blog. I hope you can think of this blog as a place where you can find out some relevant news about comics & pop-culture, be introduced or reintroduced to some great comic book creators, and can have some good conversations. I will also keep you posted on what's going on with me and my projects.

Part of me is too exhausted to even wrap my head around New York Comic Con, but I think I will use the opportunity to do what I did before I wrote "Goodbye To Comics" -- just getting in touch with the nuts and bolts and heart of what makes comics positive and fun. I did that for a whole year before "GTC," and while I wasn't very well-known, there was a purity to it that sustained me.

Onwards and upwards, folks.

Frankie Dunn: You forgot the rule. Now, what is the rule?
Maggie Fitzgerald: Keep my left up?
Frankie Dunn: Is to protect yourself at all times. Now, what is the rule?
Maggie Fitzgerald: Protect myself at all times.
Frankie Dunn: Good. Good.

Characters I Kinda Dig: Sally Brown

Occasional Links

Jeff Parker, author of the exceptional Agents of Atlas series, asks the question, "Why Not Wildstorm?"

Pink Kryptonite ponders the idea of free, high-quality comic content by way of Monty Python.


C.B. Cebulski reminds everyone to keep everything in perspective.

Remember CONTRA? Well, you can keep those memories alive with these radical customs by Jin Saotome!

And the crew at Comics Should Be Good shows us all what Final Crisis #6 was really missing!

Characters I Kinda Dig: Rocket Raccoon

The Killer Who Was Obsessed With The Joker

Kim de Gelder -- now known as "The Joker Killer" -- was arrested last Friday for storming into a Belgian daycare center (or "creche") and stabbing several children & a caretaker. The caretaker and two babies died from the attack.

De Gelder wore black-and-white clown makeup, and apparently his only words to police was a quote from The Dark Knight:

"It has emerged that when he was arrested, Mr De Gelder's only words were: "I have a question".

The words echo a scene in Batman: the Dark Knight when the Joker violently gatecrashes a party looking for a the fictional attorney general of Gotham City, Harvey Dent.

"I only have one question: where is Harvey Dent? I'll settle for his loved ones," says the character played by Ledger, before threatening a woman with a knife."

and

"Some reports said De Gelder laughed at police interrogators in an echo of scenes from the movie."

The attack took place a year-and-a-day after Heath Ledger's death, and it is suggested that "Gelder" is an anagram for "Ledger." The crime is now referred to in the European media as "The Joker Killings." The Wikipedia entry for the comic book character The Joker now refers to the killings as well.
A continuing discussion on the Joker killings can be found on the Copycat Effect blog.

I'm not going to debate the social responsibility of elevating a fictional psychopathic killer to folk-hero status, and then giving the marketing & licensing departments free reign to milk it for all its worth. We all know how such discussions play out online, don't we?


Edit: Please do not misunderstand me: I realize that the most important thing in the universe is for a fan to enjoy the fandom of their choice unhindered by any other consideration whatsoever. You're absolutely right, it's all completely healthy, there is no need for social responsibility in pop-culture. There should not be any stigma to idolizing a serial murderer, especially if he looks really cool in a vest. And if anybody has the temerity to say otherwise, I'm all for you being abusive and obsessive towards them until they are silenced. It's a good plan. It makes sense to me. I'm on your side. Please don't stab me.

Super-Heroes...For Children?

Another post on "superhero decadence" from The Hooded Utilitarian:

"The reason decadent super-heroes can seem so, so wrong isn't because sex and horror are wrong; it's because super-heroes are really meant for kids. There aren't stories where Thomas the Tank Engine turns into a vampire. There aren't stories where the Snoopy is gang-raped. There aren't stories where the Cat in the Hat starts ripping people's arms off. Because, you know, that stuff is for kids, and, aesthetic atrocity aside, you don't want to fuck up the brand."

Actually, I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like crazy people are dressing up like overly-hyped superhero villains and stabbing babies.

Occasional Links: The Alien Symbiote Plague Edition

I'm in bed today recovering from some sort of alien-virus spore that is living within my body. While Reed Richards tries to help me recover, I thought I'd take a moment to round up a bunch of links:

The Green Hornet movie has apparently been zapped. Aint It Cool News quotes HitFix as reporting that Sony has placed the film on "life-support." If you remember, Seth Rogen was to star in this adaptation.


Enjoying Project Superpowers? You might also like this radio show with one of the lead characters: The Green Lama.

Hulu is running the Spider-Man: The New Animated Series. It's a great way to get your NPH on!




I don't think I've had the honor to read Mike Deadato's run on Thor, but this custom figure by LooseCollector on the Fwoosh kinda makes me want to!

Entertainment Weekly believes 2009 is a great year for "Werewolf Movies". I don't know if all that's true, but I do know it's a great year for Werewolf Webcomics!

Also, my BBC-loving, formerly Hull-living, fish-and-chips-eating, Magners-drinking BF is rather partial to this series.

Woman Killed Over Facebook Status

A British woman was murdered by her estranged husband after he found out she changed her Facebook status from "In A Relationship" to "Single." Apparently, her telling him that they were through was not enough to convince him. But a **Facebook Status** ! Well! That's real.

Hey, I like the Internet. I like communicating through it. I like being reminded of a friend's birthday through one of the several social networks I'm a part of. Even being looked up by some old grade-school acquaintance after 25 years is rather neat. Go, Internet!

The downside to Internet communication & socialization, however, is that a lot of these quirks, conventions, and unwritten "rules" have become realer than real to some people. It's the New Real. It's Realspace.

Yeah, yeah I know:

"Get off mah lawn you damn kids! In my day we scratched initials in trees and it meant something, goddammit!"

The Ultimate X-Men Toy Collection?

As a follow-up to yesterday's Ultimate Marvel Legends Action Figure Collection post, Phil has sent in a link to his own impressive X-Men toy collection (check out the rest of the photos at the link):

I would say that the two collections contrast in that the X-Men one is more mint-in-box oriented -- but impressive nonetheless.

Occasional Links: Obama, Phantom Zone Sirens, Dumpy Sabretooth, more

Dan Goldman's Obama webcomic for Tor.com, "Yes We Will," re-imagines our new president via a Philip K. Dick fever-dream. To summarize, It's 2012 and Barack Obama is ready to usher in a new age for mankind...


Phantom Zone Supergirl...


...and Phantom Zone Madonna



Beanie Babies makers Ty insist that any similarities between their "Marvelous Malia" and "Sweet Sasha" dolls and any First Family is totally coincidental:

"The Oak Brook-based company chose the dolls' names because "they are beautiful names," not because of any resemblance to President Obama's daughters, said spokeswoman Tania Lundeen."

Frankly, I expected more frankness and candor from the creators of Oats the Horse and Swirly the Snail.



Is it really fair to nominate spoof movies like "Meet The Spartans" and "Disaster Movie" for Razzie awards? These movies freely admit they are dumbass. Were there not better movies to nominate? It's like making fun of farts for smelling bad.


Dan at the Mind Leak blog has envisioned his own version of the cover to Final Crisis #7...

...and Rich at Comic-by-Comic just "Can't Believe It's Not The Black Lanterns"


And finally, Liev Schreiber talks to Details about the upcoming movie "Wolverine":

"I started to read blogs in the comic world with things like 'That's the dumpiest, most out-of-shape Sabretooth I've ever seen in my life!'"

Being dissed on a blog? Who would have thought it!

The Best Marvel Action Figure Collection In Comics?

People who visit our home will immediately notice the focal point of the livingroom: a large built-in bookshelf filled with Marvel Legends action figures. My BF is close to completing his collection, missing about five figures. He has also recently taken to customizing action figures.

Recently, we have added a "wing" to house the spill-over.



Is my BF's collection the best Marvel action figure collection in the comic book industry? Or is there anyone out there who dare challenge his awesome accumulation of assorted action figures?

You decide.

Highlights:Mighty Avengers

New Avengers

Dark Avengers

X-Force New

X-Force Old

Brotherhood Of Evil Mutants

Hydra

Hulk Cast

Omega Flight

Marvel Knights

Exiles

Iron Man Baddies

more photos forthcoming...

Oscar Noms Announced!

The Oscar nominations were just announced and Heath Ledger was nominated in the supporting actor category, though The Dark Knight was snubbed for best picture. Going up against Ledger for supporting actor is Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder.


Battling for the best animated movie are Bolt, WALL-E, and Kung-Fu Panda.


Mickey Rourke was nominated for best actor for his "comeback" film The Wrestler.

Click here for a full list of the nominees.

Your thoughts on the noms?

I Once Was LOST...But Now I'm Found

Last night's season premiere of LOST hit all the right notes: Mystery, Murder, Mayhem, and Dr. Marvin Candle!

What did you think of the episode(s)?

The comments section will contain spoilers, so consider yourself warned!

What Do You Do When Previews Spoils Your Story?

edit: Spoilers for Green Lantern: Blackest Night :-)


Okay, you can use creative solicitation copy and blacked-out images to protect your comic book's secrets...

But what about action figure solicitations?

I'm not familiar with current Green Lantern lore to care one way or another, but obviously the fans consider these images from Previews to contain important information.

This reminds me, in some tangential way, of when the Star Trek III paperback came out before the movie, and I simply read it to find out all the spoilers about Spock. Synergy? Not quite.

"Whoa Superman of Earth 2 looks like Kilowog."

Yeah, that's what I thought. But it's just that his face is messed up, right? Sort of like this guy:

New Comics: What I'm Buying

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #583
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #584
Amazing Spider-Man has become, for me, a habit. I don't always read them the week they come out, but instead hold on to them until I get a complete arc. Now, if this is the way I'm going about things, should I just wait until the trades come out? Well, you see, I'd feel guilty buying the trades because it would be an "expense." But there is more of an illusion of not spending a lot of money because it's spread out over the month.

DARK AVENGERS #1
This book really seems like Thunderbolts 2.0 (3.0?) to me.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #9
Abnett & Lanning are currently the best writers of sci-fi comic books, in my opinion.

MIGHTY AVENGERS #21
Looking forward to Dan Slott's turn on the series.

UNCANNY X-MEN ANNUAL #2
I am not a big fan of the "reformed" Emma Frost, as I never trusted her. Some women, in my opinion, are just irredeemably evil and "the love of a good man" isn't going to do some magic trick on their hearts. Will this "Dark Reign" storyline reveal her for the slag she is and finally get her away from Scott? Or am I being too optimistic? I always figured this Frost storyline would end with Jean Grey somehow coming back and leaving Frost just this diamondy smear on the pavement.

WAR MACHINE #2
Not decided if I'm going to continue to read this series, but giving it another issue.

What comics are you buying this week?

BSG: The Roving Eye Of Apollo

One more Battlestar Galactica post, and I'm done. I promise.

Follow Apollo's eyes on this DVD cover:



via Photoshop Disasters

Starbuck "Castrated," Says Dirk Benedict

The new Big Hollywood blog is good for, apparently, watching old sci-fi TV stars get a soapbox and go completely ape-shit.

First there was ultra Right-Winger Gary Graham from "Alien Nation," and now we have Dirk Benedict from the old "Battlestar Galactica" series (as well as "A-Team"!).

Here are quotes from Benedict's blog entry, "Lost In Castration" --

"For the re-imagined terrorists (Cylons) are not mechanical robots void of soul, of sexuality, but rather humanoid six foot tall former lingerie models who f**k you to death. (Poor old Starbuck, you were imagined too early. Think of the fun you could have had ‘fighting’ with these thong-clad aliens!) In the spirit of such soft-core, sci-fi porn I think a more re-imaginative title would have been “F**cked by A Cylon.”"

And,

"One can quickly surmise what a problem the original Starbuck created for the re-imaginators. Starbuck was all charm and humor and flirting without an angry bone in his womanizing body. Yes, he was definitely “female driven,” but not in the politically correct ways of Re-imagined Television. What to do, wondered the Re-imaginators? Keep him as he was, with a twinkle in his eye, a stogie in his mouth and a girl in every galaxy? This could not be. He would stick out like, well, like a jock strap in a drawer of thongs. Starbuck refused to be re-imagined. It became the Great Dilemma. How to have your Starbuck and delete him too?"

Unlike his original BSG co-star, Richard Hatch, Benedict is not going gently into that good remake:

"”Re-inspiration” struck. Starbuck would go the way of most men in today’s society. Starbuck would become “Stardoe.” What the Suits of yesteryear had been incapable of doing to Starbuck 25 years ago was accomplished quicker than you can say orchiectomy. Much quicker, as in, “Frak! Gonads Gone!”"

In case you've missed it, there is lots of penis references in his post.

"Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars. Hamlet does not scan as Hamletta. Nor does Hans Solo as Hans Sally. Faceman is not the same as Facewoman."

Well, we've got another villain for the collective blog zeitgeist. Best of all, he has that big cigar as a prop.


Related post: Clint Eastwood's "Pussy Generation"

Battlestar Galactica: When Ad Placements Go Wrong

Have you ever watched an unfortunately-timed ad after a certain key scene on a television show?

This Battlestar Galactica clip has just that. It's a 3+ minute clip, but the ending is so totally worth it. One of the most creepy things I've ever seen, like something out of the mind of Kubrick (or early Peter Jackson). I almost vomited, so you know this is choice.

SPOILERS in the clip, so if you don't want to be spoiled for BSG, don't watch. Also, sort of NSFW.



Via

The First Gay Superhero?

Den of Geek decries the shoddy reportage on the Stan Lee's first gay superhero story in the British tabloids. But c'mon, look at the accompanying photo for the story in The Sun:


How much hard-hitting journalism did we expect? Nice handlebar mustache.

Obviously, Stan Lee's adaptation of Perry Moore's "Hero" is not the first treatment of a gay superhero ever done. But, if the project gets off the ground and has a big budget, it might be the first treatment to get a major audience (both comic book readers and "newbies").

And I think there is a world of difference between having gay supporting characters/team members, and having a big-budget comic book starring a gay hero. Sure, you had that Midnighter series, but it's not quite the same thing as having a key character from the DC or Marvel universe proper "come out" and star in their own series or movie.

Wolverine Cast Photo

Hugh Jackman recently emailed Harry Knowles at Ain't It Cool News to reassure him and the fans that the Wolverine movie will "be badass and hopefully meet all of your expectations."

Apparently, Harry missed the email the first time Hugh sent it. How do you miss an email from Hugh Jackman?

Anyway, he included the following cast shot:


Gambit is a honey. Though if I had to chose, I'd go past him, Ryan, and Hugh and go straight to Liev.

Invisible, Inc.'s Superhero Conspiracy

Invisible, Inc. boasts a Watchmen vibe and an edgy painterly art style in the vein of X-Force. Up-and-coming talents Brendan McGinley (Hannibal Goes To Rome) & Tomás Aira (Starcraft, Marilith) have produced a webcomic of superior quality: one that will satisfy both lovers and haters of costumed superheroes.

Read the entire first issue for free online here!


Bankshot Comics' all-new web series follows Vera Bell, a reporter with the New York Herald, as she uncovers the ultimate conspiracy; a gathering of power manipulates the world, keeping heroes from effecting real change.

In the powerful "Yellow Journalism" arc, Bell discovers supervillains no longer try to take over the world because they succeeded decades ago. She pursues the mysterious Yellow Book, which can alter memories and perceptions, in her quest to expose its owners.

Aiding Bell's search for the truth is the questionable Mr. Twist. As the reporter follows the story, Twist gathers superpowers to strike at media king and crime lord Victor Fox. Stalking all parties is the mysterious Blackbird. It all builds to one terrible revelation that will have readers gasping, unable to accept the horrible truth before them.


Invisible, Inc. #1 was a well-paced & solid read, with great art and an engaging story. Regular updates for issue #2 will begin on Monday.

How I Spent My Sunday Morning

Degrassi: The Next Generation

After an awesomely exceptional birthday bash last night - complete with Rock Band, dessert tacos, and insanely giant pieces of carrot cake, I spent the morning watching Degrassi and playing Hulk: Ultimate Destruction.

How did you spend your Sunday morning?

Bitter Is As Bitter Does

Johanna Draper Carlson calls me "bitter" for my words about DC. Hmm...This the same woman who wrote about her own tenure at the publisher:

"You put a bunch of immature men, many of whom were very sick as children or had absent fathers or both, and all of whom escaped into over-muscled power fantasies as a result, in charge of a publishing subgroup with no prestige and little money. Several of them have never worked anywhere else, or if they have, it was at one of the few similar companies in the same industry that behave the same way. They’re still geeks, mentally, with low self-esteem and no success with women, few of whom they actually know in person, but they’re power brokers within their little world, and there are thousands like them who desperately want to be them… and you wonder why it all ends up so twisted?"

Another quote:

"I spent less than a year inside the sausage factory, and I went in knowing I could leave any moment and get a job using the same skills that paid twice as much (which I did)."

DC, a "sausage factory?"

"The people I respected there, those who had a sense of the outside world and were considerate and good to work with, have all since left as well; several of them were forced out. Those left, the ones that come to mind when I bother to think of them, I’m mostly contemptuous of."

And:

"Dealing with them was like dealing with argumentative, impulsive children who had to be constantly reassured of their power and value for fear they’d throw a tantrum."

I've endured this woman's complaints/backhanded compliments regarding Friends of Lulu for over a year in silence. I've had to read about her accusing me of "conflict of interest" while she reviews her stacks and stacks of comp copies. I was so impacted by her words that I was afraid -- afraid! -- to support the comics of my friends and loved ones for fear that "CWR" would call me out on it.

I don't need this type of "comics feminist" supporting me. I don't need "feminists" telling me what I should and should not say on my own damn blog. This sort of mentality is, to me, just as stifling and oppressing as the work environment I wrote about in "Goodbye To Comics."

Honestly! I've lived my life over the last two years "mindful" about what "feminists" might think. Was I a "good feminist?" Was I towing the line? If I made this or that decision, would that "undermine" my "identity" as "the poster child of DC sexism?"

Yeah, I was, for some women, the "the poster child of DC sexism" -- when it was convenient.

I'm not a label. I don't need to answer to a handful of computer jockeys bitching about what a terrible feminist I am. I don't need to justify or spell out every concrete action I've done -- concrete action, not bitching behind a keyboard -- to help women in comics.

Rather than to answer anymore to this bullshit, to respond and let myself be flustered by the crabs in the bucket who snap at my heels, I'll go shake Dan DiDio's hand tomorrow.

Our Virgin Of The Broken Pinkies

After a great deal of nagging, I finally bought a membership at the local gym. The first thing I notice when I walk into the gym is that it's almost completely populated by beefy muscle-guys. There are also a couple of markedly skinny young men who you know are following some Hero of the Beach end-game. But this gym is not "Curves."

The man at the counter invites me to look around the gym and get myself familiar with the equipment. Every man turns around and stares at me as I walk by. The weights are huge, and the entire place smells like jock. Baha Men play in the background. One huge man wipes down the sweat off some piece of equipment that features weights the size of truck tires.

My childhood was defined largely by weights and big cans of protein powder. My father was a body-builder. Six-pack, biceps, tan, shaved chest. I have a baby picture of me sitting in my swing set, looking at a body-building magazine in my hands. The swing set's mechanism was disabled and another chair propped my legs up, so the whole thing served as an ottoman; I had my sedentary inclinations indulged for me at a very young age.

I am told that it is required that I bring a towel with me to wipe off my sweat off the equipment. I picture myself getting taken aside by an old boxer, trained in the arts of hand-to-hand combat, and becoming a famous jewel thief.

I become conscious of the fact that I have just stepped into what will become no doubt another humorous footnote to my life. I haven't eaten since 9:00. I'm trying to lose weight. I'm dizzy.

I smile for my ID card photo and head home. On the way, I suddenly get the impulse to visit my old church. I haven't been there since I was 12, though I lived in the neighborhood. The area is cold, empty. Presumably there are students in the parochial school next door. But other than a retreating delivery man, not a sign of life.

The church has long, tall gates around it now, which are padlocked in intervals. I thought maybe I could go into the church and sit for a while, but that is apparently impossible.

A number of people I know look back at the traditional religion that was grafted onto their childhoods with an instinctive disgust. Standing in front of the gated church of my youth, I have the sudden impulse to fling myself upon it and cry. I want in. But even if I got in, would it even be the same as I remembered? Or would I feel alien, like an interloper?

I look for the statue of the Virgin Mary with the broken pinkies. I knew the boys who broke those pinkies off her hands. I get a compulsion to find one of them and beat the shit out of them, though they are probably my age and either in jail or a fucking accountant or something.

Next door to the church is a relatively new, sprawling senior citizen complex. I look for notices in front of the church announcing some sort of services, but there aren't any.

I get paranoid, and wonder if the church is closed for good. Just like Circuit City.

I end my trip at a stop at McDonalds. At this point I can't tell if I'm numb and shaky from the extremely cold weather or the fact that I need food. I order a spartan two plain hamburgers and a small coffee. The calories are relatively low, and the burgers will provide the right balance of protein and carbs. I frown at the lightness of my coffee, and picture the half-and-half indiscriminately poured into the beverage as adding unnecessarily to my caloric intake. I vow to go black.

DC = "Diana Castrated"

You know, if we had a Wonder Woman comic that simply re-created her Golden Age lunacy word-for-word, panel-for-panel, it would sell through the roof.
You and I both know this. It may not be "right." But we know this would happen.

From the DC Message Boards:

"> Wonder Woman under Mr. Marston had a psycho sexual
> (i.e. kinky) component to her, but somewhere along
> the way, she lost that sexual edge. She's become
> plain 'virgin' vanilla in exuding sexuality. She's
> also become too much a part of the establishment,
> instead of challenging authority and cultural norms
> and turning things over their heads. I really wish
> that DC would allow WW to be portrayed like Mr.
> Marston had her portrayed, but updated for 2009. I
> think if DC allowed such a thing to happen, she'd be
> a lot more popular with writers, including Mr.
> Morrison. Diana was always meant to push the
> envelope, and not be just one of 'the guys'. DC made
> the mistake of trying to keep WW 'safe' like they do
> with Supes. WW was never meant to be a the ultimate
> girl scout.
>
> So I don't put most of the blame on the writers
> doorstep (except for extreme cases like AA!), I blame
> the idiotic DC editorial team for neutering WW and
> making her less interesting 'to play with' in stories.

as I mentioned a few days ago
DC = Diana Castrated"

and this one too:

"Diana's a T-shirt picture, something the corporate owners will never allow to be associated with anything too controversial."

and my favorite:

"Maybe since most writers have rejected the current version of WW and avoid her like the plague (no pun intended) or treat her like 2nd or 3rd class, then its time to revamp WW. I know many of you would disagree, but Diana should fill the niche of Wolverine in the DCU. Wolverine is Marvel's most popular superhero - his popularity even outshines that of Spider-Man, Hulk and Iron Man. Make Diana into a bad@$$ killer like how Marvel continually and consistently portrays Wolverine. Love, mercy and empowerment don't seem to be resonating with most of DC's writers, so focus on Diana's lethal warrior and combat side and skip the touch feely stuff altogether. Leave that emotional baggage to Donna Troy instead."

which, of course, is sorta like...


Which wasn't successful at all...

RIP Andrew Wyeth

Andrew Wyeth, American painter

Batman Died For Final Crisis's Sins (Spoilers)

"Final Crisis is a clusterfuck, a mediocre failure. I don't know what went wrong, Editorial mismanagement*(which still keeps going on), rewrites, bad decisions, someone sleeping with someone's wife. Whatever it is, this has pretty much been a lackluster event, even when things seemed to 'kick off' at Issue #4 it still didn't have the oomph that other events had. The whole fact that it was billed as the most epic thing ever since Ninjas were invented, yet turned out to be a rush job just adds another nail to the coffin that is being built for DC."

"There's fundamental problems with Final Crisis #6. Mainly, it's sort of boring and the art isn't very good."

In desperation, they showed the corpse of their most popular character -- that would at least be some shiny tin-foil to wow a segment of the comic book reading public easily impressed by mediocrity and an enduring loyalty to characters who have been kneaded, reconfigured, and degraded almost past recognition.


"How do we beat Marvel in sales?" DC asked. They answered themselves: "We put more violence in our comics." And this is not even a rhetorical conversation. This dialogue, though paraphrased here, actually took place. And this, apparently, is the grand culmination of the Dream.


So their books became more violent, and they still couldn't beat Marvel in sales. But at least they gained a small core readership that is so accommodating, and so forgiving. Even if other readers fell away, and new readers were alienated, this strong core would buy *anything*.


Yes, Batman died for the sins of Final Crisis, because it would take nothing more than the graphic demise of their core superhero to distract the readers from the clusterfuck they created. And it worked, at least for the core. And at this point, it's only the core that matters, because they are, at least, guaranteed revenue. And in these troubled economic times, at least that's something.

"Batman dead! Batman dead! It so amazing! They killed him! They killed him! That was fantastic! Do again! Do again!"

Cynical? Maybe. Enough to put DC at the top of comic sales? No. But at least nobody is "laughing" at DC anymore, saying their comic books are hokey, saying that their comics are for kids. They successfully rebranded themselves. As what?


But really, I find such iconography, such branding, apropos for DC. They've advertised for a while now a "Final Crisis" and a death of one of their icons. For the last 5 years, they've focused on death, destruction, and corruption as the "spine" of their events, their publishing plan. Why this constant focus on negativity? I think it's a slow, steady exorcism, the tangible display of an ugliness that was just under the surface.

In the end, I'm relieved to hear that indeed this is the final Crisis. Because after your "Final" crisis, surely there will be no more?

The Island Of Unpublished Comic Books

Over the years, I have been involved with/witnessed many promising comic book projects that never saw print...


1. The Monkees
When I was an assistant editor at Acclaim/Valiant Comics, work was being done on a reprint book of The Monkees comics from Dell. Apparently EIC Fabian Nicieza was a Monkees fan (so am I). I think the comics either had the color remastered or at least relettered. I saw color proofs, but the project never proceeded past that stage.


2. Classics Junior
This was to be a line of kids books spun off of Acclaim's Classics Illustrated series. We had Pinocchio and Cinderella for sure. I think an excellent folklorist/author named Josepha Sherman wrote at least some of them. The main Classics line folded before we got to publish these; I think some stories got almost to the coloring stage.

3. Big Max
Also from Acclaim, this fun Dan Slott comic book starring a star-spangled ape almost made it to the stands. But not quite. I had the promotional t-shirt Dan made for a long time. I think the comic was eventually published by another company.


4. Spinal Tap
My office at DC briefly flirted with the idea of making a Spinal Tap comic book, going so far as to contact some of the actors. The premise was that each Spinal Tap member would host/write a different segment of the comic book, and that each segment could even be a different genre. This project didn't get very much past the idea stage, but was still kind of cool.

5. Big Superman Project
This huge anthology project was to feature mainstream writers/celebrities writing Superman stories. Think: Stephen King, Jerry Seinfeld, etc. One of my first jobs at DC was to compile a list of potential writers and find out who their agents were. The project never happened, though I believe some of the very basic theories behind the concept eventually led to All-Star Superman.


6. Kid Amazo by Rob Haynes
What some people do not know was that the Kid Amazo arc in JLA Classified was originally drawn by artist Rob Haynes, and was intended to be a hardcover graphic novel. In fact, he finished most, if not all, the art for the book. But his hyper-stylistic art was deemed "too weird" and another artist was assigned to draw the story from scratch. It would have been interesting, however, to see the reaction to the Haynes material, as it was quite unique and better suited the quirky tone of Peter Milligan's story.

7. Multiple-Personality Firestorm
The original concept of the Firestorm reboot, as conceived by then-writer Mike Carey, involved the character having several voices in his head/"personalities," including (I believe) that of a robot & a cat. Newcomer Lewis LaRosa was to pencil, and I saw concept sketches. One editorial shift later, and the proposal & creative team was history.

8. "An Evening With Superman"
This Barry Windsor-Smith project, featuring Lois Lane, has had a legendary and long stay in a flat file. I touched teh pages.

9. The Wonder Woman Covers of Adam Hughes
As far as coffee-table books go, you'd think this would be a no-brainer. Was it feared that the cheesecake nature of his covers wouldn't set the right "tone" for further licensing pursuits? I can't believe that this book never came out -- if anybody knows if it did really come out, let me know, but I couldn't find it on Amazon. I just said "Amazon." Is funny, is pun.

10. "Goodbye To Comics" Graphic Novel
There are...pages.
20 years from now we'll all joke about the magnificent clusterfuck that was this. As bizarre a situation as you can imagine regarding this project, it is actually far far more bizarre than you could possibly imagine even if you were taking Imagine Pills. One page depicted me walking away from DC in an homage to that famous Spider-Man cover where he throws his costume in the garbage. I shit you not. And it was a real project, too, being shopped by a real multi-million dollar organization. We were even discussing having it serialized in GQ. The real problem, it turned out, was to figure out what "Earth" the story took place in. Was it Earth Prime, the same one in Flash #179? Would Cary Bates make an appearance? And how did it reflect current DC continuity? It was so complicated.

Addendum: The flat files of doom.
If you have heard about a comic book project that has never seen the light of day, there is a good chance that it might be languishing in a flat file somewhere. Though in these days of digital media, it might also be on a DVD in some editor's desk.

At one point at working at DC, I had to go into an over-stuffed set of flat files and pull out a number of "ancient" mini-series and whatnot. Many of these were JLA projects. The goal was to get them all into production. Some were easier than others. In one mini-series, we had to pay an inker to redraw every appearance of Green Lantern's mask in order to match it to the then-current Jim Lee version. That's how long the mini was sitting in the flat file.


It was the accumulation of so many unused JLA minis that contributed to the creation of JLA: Classified. Many of these minis were slated for prestige-format or hardcover treatments.

And now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

The Wonder Woman That Wasn't

Did DC turn down an all-ages Wonder Woman comic by Darwyn Cooke?

"This year J. Bone and myself pitched an all-ages Wonder Woman book aimed at young female readers. In other words, I wanted to give them at least 12 issues of a Wonder Woman book that any parent could give their child. They couldn’t have been less interested."

:-(

You know, for a guy who practically redesigned the DCU (a template that, in terms of the new Brave and Bold cartoon, they are still using today) and sold tons of comics & ancillary products -- you'd think Darwyn could write his ticket at DC. I just don't get it.

When New Frontier was being made, I remember hearing rumblings in the office about the "fat" Wonder Woman. That Wonder Woman was drawn too "fat." Too muscular. Because, of course, the most powerful woman in the world can't have a corresponding body type. She has magic muscles that are invisible, squashed down into another dimension, affording her a svelte, Keira Knightley figure.

But you know, if Darwyn & friends did a revamp on Wonder Woman right now -- for all-ages or not -- it would sell through the roof.

via Journalista

The Wizard Of Sales

Marvel's Wonderful Wizard of Oz #1 is sold out of Diamond -- as well as my local NYC comic book store.

Hey, all-ages comics are supposed to sell poorly! Remember? "Comics aren't for kids anymore."

Wonderful Wizard of Oz seemingly had everything "against" it (according to conventional wisdom):
1) All-ages book
2) Non-superhero book
3) Female protagonist
4) "Classics" adaptation

So why did the comic book succeed?

1) Parents are hungering for appropriate comic book entertainment for their children.
2) Amazing art.
3) Marvel's giveaway "sketchbook" promotional strategy worked.
4) Perhaps readers are looking for "happier" comic book stories?

Is this a start of a trend? If Wonderful Wizard of Oz continues to sell well, will this encourage Marvel to launch similar projects?

And who is the audience of Wonderful Wizard of Oz? Who is reading this comic book? What is the gender breakdown of the readership? The age of readers? How many issues were bought for other people?

Does Dorothy Gale qualify as a "superheroine?"

RIP Ricardo Montalban

The way this day is going, somebody better check on James Garner, and I mean like pronto.

RIP Patrick McGoohan

He was, to me, the very definition of "cool."

Amazing Spider-Man Obama Update

Amazing Spider-Man #583 was sold out at NYC's Forbidden Planet comic book store between the hours of 9 and 10 o'clock this morning. New Yorkers braved the frigid weather to wait in line to buy the comic -- limit one per person.

I heard a report that Jim Hanley's, also in NYC, had a line outside the store waiting to purchase the comic as well.

I just wanted to follow the Spider-man story this week, but was unable to buy an issue.

If anybody knows what happened in that issue non-Obama-wise, email me. Especially if Parker starts dating that girl.

In other news, ComicMix reports that a number of comic book shops are donating the profits of Amazing Spider-Man #583 to charity.

More coverage:
Lining Up For Obama and Spider-Man (NYT)

One Of The Most Ugly F**king Things I've Ever Seen In My Life

A friend just emailed me the spoiler to the latest issue of Final Crisis, and it was one of the most ugly fucking things I've ever seen in my life.

No class, no respect, sensationalist crap.

They might as well have just taken a dump on the legacy of the character in question.

And for what? Sales? To barely get in the top ten? Was it worth it?

This book comes out the same day as the Spider-Man Obama cover. Such a contrast in energy, direction.

I choose hope.

Postscript
Want spoilers, pictures, and additional commentary? Read this review.

Drunken Wonder Woman Pitch

"Okay, so now Wonder Woman is 16, and attending a high-school in the Mid-West. She's got all these kooky powers that she barely understands. BUT SHE JUST WANTS TO FIT IN! And then she's got like this brainy best friend who has a major crush on her -- but she doesn't know she's alive! Then Wondy has this other best friend who's like a dork and stuff. Only they know Wondy's secret.

"Now, the principal at the high-school is a real hard-ass -- with good reason! He's actually Ares, god of war, in disguise! Also, the home economics instructor is Circe, and stirs up (literally) no end of trouble for Wondy and pals.

"Steve Trevor is a jock on the football team who really just wants to be a doctor. But his dad is the coach, and just won't let him! Won't anybody give Steve the chance to put the cleats away? Wondy will. Wondy believes in him. But she's also fascinated by this new kid in town. This bad kid. And that kid --

"IS REALLY BRUCE WAYNE!

"But, because of arcane licensing contracts, we can't use the actual name "Bruce Wayne." So we will call him Darkling Knight. He can turn into a bat. He's secretly a vampire.

"Now, this is perfect, because like vampires, Wondy is really immortal. She's a girl made of clay. She's like Pinocchio. She just wants to grow up -- too fast!

"Lastly, I would like for Wondy to have a pet sidekick, a hamster. We can call him Hamusutaa, which means "hamster" in Japanese.

And Wondy can also sing."

Okay, I'm kidding about the singing part.

The Top Comic Book Rivalries

Is it wrong that when I read the following blurb on CBR --

"The Top 25 Comic Book Rivalries"

-- I first thought they were talking about actual rivalries between people in the comic book industry?

More Crazy Notions About Women And Comics

No, women shouldn't have to support other women who write superhero comics and make an effort to check out their books. That was *crazy* of me to say. Excuse me.

We should instead just sit on our thumbs and complain about how all the comics starring superheroines suck, all the superhero comics created by women suck, and IF ONLY (sigh!) the comic book industry could come up with a magic formula (read some minds, perhaps, toss the bones, divine the tea leaves) that would satisfy the self-described female superhero fan. Those morons at the comics publishers, who don't really care, who don't really try, who just don't understand the essence of the "fangirl."

Along the way, as we sit on our thumbs, we can direct our frustration towards one obvious scapegoat or another.

I call bullshit.

We need practical solutions.

1. Who are buying these (specifically) superhero comics?
According to incidental and actual marketing data, the answer is that the majority of superhero comic book purchasers are male. Now, if some people feel this is inaccurate, then it's time to conduct some hardcore marketing surveys to rectify this perception.

Practical solution #1: Conduct marketing surveys to get accurate gender breakdowns on superhero comic book readership.

2. It seems as if there is a good deal of female fans (huge numbers) of fantasy/action stories in other media. If we could pinpoint why there is such a disparity between such readers and the readers of superhero comics, that would help a lot. And we need something a bit more substantial than "superhero comics for women suck." That doesn't help the editors much.

Practical solution #2: Conduct studies of comparable fantasy/action stories in manga or TV with that of superhero comics. For instance, Action Comics vs. the TV show "Smallville." Smallville has a large female audience. Action Comics does not. Why is that?


Action Comics: Features Superman (costume)
Smallville: Features Clark Kent (no costume, street clothing)
Action Comics: Focus on standard superhero plots and action.
Smallville: Focus on relationships, with action as a backdrop.

Why are female viewers so hooked on Smallville? Is it because they are fascinated with the show's hackneyed pseudo-sci-fi/conspiracy plots? Or is because of the soap opera like continuing narratives regarding Clark/Lex, Clark/Lana, Clark/Chloe, Clark/Lois?

What are the majority of female-run Smallville fan sites concerned with? Kryptonian technology or Clark/Lex, Clark/Lana, etc, etc, etc?

We need to look at all these aspects and quantify things. Physically count how many fan sites for Batgirl, for instance. Who is running these sites? What do they focus on?


Female fans of Harry Potter, Twilight, Sailor Moon, Smallville, Supernatural, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc, etc, etc. Talk to them. Find out what draws them to these stories. It's not enough to say "good stories, I'm looking for good stories." What, to these female fans, makes a good story?

Now, I'm talking about the majority of female fans. That may sound unfair. But any TV show, movie, comic, etc, has to take into account the biggest possible audiences they can get. Smaller audiences are catered to with "niche" products. But if I am launching a new superhero TV show starring women, I need to know a few things.


Do I want to attract a male audience for my TV show? What will I need to focus on? Or do I want to focus on developing female viewers? What do I focus on in that case? And if I want to get a big audience from both genders (like BTVS), how do I do that? What do I have to balance?

In my opinion, in order to get the biggest audience of both men and women for your superhero comic book, you need to balance action vs. "relationships." You need to keep the action moving, but you also need to focus on the relationships between the characters. Chris Claremont, in his prime, was a master at this. So is Joss Whedon.

I read X-Men as a teenager mostly because I was interested in the relationships between the characters.
I watched GI Joe as a teenager because I was interested in the relationships between the characters.
I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer because I was interested in the relationships between the characters.
I watch Smallville because I am interested in the relationships between the characters.
I read Patricia Cornwell crime novels because I'm trying to bone up on my forensics knowledge, and also because am interested in the relationships between the characters.

I used to love professional wrestling. Do you know why? Because of the relationships between the characters, drawn out in the acted segments between the matches. I actually would tune out when the matches happened.

I read Guardians of the Galaxy because I am interested in the relationships between the characters. I read Incredible Hercules because his friendship with Amadeus Cho is touching, and also because I am wondering if he will continue to have an affair with Namora. I read Amazing Spider-Man because I wonder what's going to happen with Harry. Will he and Liz ever get back again? Is it really going to work between Harry and this new chick? And what about MJ? Will she come back? Will she and Peter ever be reunited? And what if Felicia Hardy comes back to town?


Tigra is pregnant with Hank Pym's Skrull babies? Will she get a change of heart and keep them? And what about poor Hank? He must be devastated about the loss of Janet. And this Emma Frost thing and Scott -- I hate that! "She don't really love you, Scott!" Scott and Jean should be together forever! They have a love that is immortal.

Don't get me wrong -- I like the action too. I like my steroidal muscle-headed capes-and-tights personalities. I mean, one of my favorite comics is X-Force, and that has plenty of the over-the-top action I like.

But running a close second to the great art and the kooky violence in X-Force are:
Warren: can anything melt his heart and bring back that devil-may-care playboy with the boyish charm?
Rahne must be just heartsick, caught between her faith and the essence of her own animal nature.
Will Wolverine & Domino "do it?" Have they already "done it" and I was just too naive to notice?


There are subtle differences between (in general) male and female comic book readers. Do not fool yourself into thinking those differences in preference and taste do not exist. Know your audience(s). Do your research. Step out of your comfort zone. Most of all, know yourself.

All my life, I've been a female who was interested in the relationshippy things within traditionally "male" entertainment. Superheroes. Pro Wrestling. GI Joe. Etc. In all those things, I sought out and drifted to the relationships, the feelings, the human drama. When there wasn't relationships to be found, I invented them. Hence the creation of the "slash" genre.

But I feel I have a natural inclination towards these sorts of narratives, at least in part, due to the fact that I am female. And I am one of the more "masculine" females you might meet. I don't always find these elements in my superhero comic books. I tend to drift to those comics that do have them. Those comics aren't "women" themed, but they are the ones that I think have the biggest potential for female audiences. Who would think that Guardians of the Galaxy, as it is written now, might appeal to larger audiences of women? I do. I think it's perfect.

The worst superhero comics, either written by women or starring female characters, have no idea what they really want to be, who they are speaking to, or what audience(s) to target. The most ineffective type of feminist believes that to speak of any sort of differences between the sexes is to "lose," to "give up." They have no clue about actual demographic or sales numbers, they have no clue about how a business like comics actually works, they have no plan. They just want to be outraged and have something to write about; and don't we all? But at what age do we grow up and come up with practical solutions? I'm too old to keep banging my head against the wall. I don't view my role within "comics feminism" as to give young women a set of useless platitudes to make them feel better.

You are being sexually harassed? Go straight to a lawyer. No, don't take the scenic route. Do not stop and see what the other female pundits have to say. Do not depend on them. Go straight to a lawyer.

You feel superheroine comics suck? Pinpoint it. Quantify it. Get data. Do surveys. Learn about the industry. Learn about how much money it takes to make a comic book, or a movie. Learn about how marketing decisions are made, how the money is allocated. Start a dialogue with editors and writers that might actually make a difference.

You think there's not enough female comic book creators? Do you want to be one? You want to write a monthly superhero comic? Really? Learn what that entails. Get data on the demographics of the comic book reader. What audience do you want to target? "I don't believe in audiences. That's labels. I hate labels." Well, you know, you don't believe in the concept of "the audience" -- the audience don't believe in the concept of you, either.

It begins with your audience. What is your audience? Who are they? What do they tend to read? No, not what is your idealist version of things -- what is your audience?

And as for the original point about women supporting other women in the superhero comic book industry...you know, whatever. You know, men support other men in the superhero comic book industry all the time. It's called "the comic book industry."

"The Boy's Club! Damn them!" (shakes fist)

Well, how about a Girl's Club?

"What, just because I'm a woman I have to support women? That's pretty presumptuous on your part, isn't it? Maybe I don't want to read any comics by women! Did you ever think of that? Stop labeling my vagina!"

Okay, so how do we beat the Boy's Club, then?

"Magic!"

Look! Josh Tyler just passed by!

"Kill him!"

So Seriously, Is There Any Comic Artist Who HASN'T Done Fetish Art?

via

Turns out Shuster was drawing this stuff to support himself in the 1950s after fighting for the Superman copyright.

Not an uncommon option for some comic artists between gigs.

I wanted to do a graphic novel once about a mediocre comic book artist whose big epiphany at the end of the story was that he could support himself by drawing fetish porn. He went through all this adventure and intrigue and angst, but in the end he simply realized he could go to comic conventions and sell cheesecake pinups and make a fortune. So he becomes world-famous for his comic fetish porn, even getting one of those big Taschen coffee-table books devoted to his work. In the middle of this, of course, the world almost ends and he has to save the day.

...

My plots are starting to sound like Kilgore Trout novels.

The Top Ten Best-Selling Comics of 2008

1 Secret Invasion #1 (Marvel)
2 Secret Invasion #2 (Marvel)
3 Secret Invasion #3 (Marvel)
4 Secret Invasion #4 (Marvel)
5 Secret Invasion #5 (Marvel)
6 Secret Invasion #6 (Marvel)
7 Uncanny X-Men #500 (Marvel)
8 Secret Invasion #7 (Marvel)
9 Final Crisis #1 (DC)
10 Secret Invasion #8 (Marvel)

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Bill Willingham: Comics Conservative?

Big Hollywood is a entertainment website with a decidedly more right-of-center spin. One of its initial "selling points" was that the site would be a sort of conservative Huffington Post, giving big-name entertainers a chance to "come out of the closet" about their political and ideological preferences.

Enter Bill "Fables" Willingham.

In a post entitled "Superheroes: Still Plenty of Super, But Losing Some of the Hero," Willingham cites Superman as not being proud of his country, Captain America as an apologist for terrorists, and even quotes Rush Limbaugh. He closes with a pledge:

"No more superhero decadence for me. Period. From now on, when I write within the superhero genre I intend to do it right. And if I am ever again privileged to be allowed to write Superman, you can bet your sweet bootie that he’ll find the opportunity to bring back “and the American way,” to his famous credo.

For now, I invite others in my business to follow suit, as their own consciences dictate. We’ll talk more about this later."

The question is -- will Willingham face fallout by going out on a limb and making this post?

He later answers such a question in the comments section:

"...it reflects no courage on my part that I happen to be in a situation, through dumb luck mostly, where I can speak openly about my politics, without too much fear of reprisals and career sabotage. You and I both know that isn’t the case with everyone in our business, which perfectly mimics in that respect the situation in Hollywood (though on a more intimate scale)."

Later in the comments, Chuck Dixon makes an appearance:

"You and I both know that there are plenty of comic creators who feel the way we do but are fearful of speaking up as it will adversely affect their career."

I brought up similar questions a month ago, and was told there was no fear of reprisals for such views in the industry -- that my concerns were nothing more than baseless paranoia.

Well, which is it?

Postscript: I ultimately place the blame for the difficulty of moderate conservatives within the industry like Willingham & Dixon to express their views with the two or three extreme radical-psycho-bipolar conservatives who ruined it for everyone by being insufferable racist and sexist dicks. Not all "conservatives" (label) are the same, just not like all "liberals" (label) are the same; both have the right to express their views without the torch-and-pitchfork brigade. Not that this has stopped that brigade from dogging on Willingham, though the discussion on Robot 6 is so relatively orderly and without the usual Alien-grade acid slime that either teh internets have grew up a bit, or they just have really good mods.

Morning Update

Yeah, totally didn't stay out with my friends at the local pub until 11:00 at night, totally didn't pose for photos wearing each other's bras on our heads like Mickey Mouse ears.

Damn you, Facebook! (shakes fist)

I got seized yesterday to compose a short story called "Marmaduke Beef," featuring the fictional memoirs of an old-time comic book guy. I got so possessed to write this -- so absolutely in this character's head space -- that I scribbled almost a complete first draft on legal pads in one shot.

Marmaduke Beef horrifies me, but also fascinates me in the way that, through his own perspective, he is the hero of his own story. Lex Luthor, Norman Osborn, Darth Vader -- all the heroes of their own stories, with their own rationales. They do not consider themselves villains. Marmaduke is racist, sexist, so many "ists" -- but he considers himself none of those things. He just plugs on to the end of the story, convinced that he's right.

I may turn it into a comic book script, or go back and flesh it out into an actual novella. I'm just trying to write more, write creatively, just practice writing.

Wow, New York Comic Con is almost here?

See, every year after San Diego or NYCC I say to myself: "this year I will be prepared. this year, I will use this convention to its fullest advantage." Am I scrambling? Yes!

Facebook: officially kinda annoying. I love the messages from that "speed dating" app I've never signed up for, the one where they've found a match for you and it's always somebody from New Jersey.

Not that there's anything wrong with New Jersey, mind you.

And I've been obsessed with this video of a parrot petting a kitten for several days now. I think it's the inter-species angle. If a parrot did that to my full-grown cat it would most likely be hanging from the feline's well-meaning jaws. Nom nom nom. But sit back and watch the *love*

Parrot 'pets' cat @ Yahoo! Video

Carols Pacheco Returns To Marvel

Huh.

I'll always remember Carlos Pacheco for the following reason:

Pacheco drew the cover of an issue of Fantastic Four that my BF was holding on the first day I met him at Comic Con.

I had met him (BF, not Pacheco) for the first time earlier that day, but now I was leaving the convention, and spied him to the side reading that comic.

"HELLO!" I said. "IT WAS AWESOME TO MEET YOU!"

He looked up from the comic, nodded, and went back to reading the comic (or so was my perception at the time).

I thought (cue Roy Lichtenstein pose):

"He likes Fantastic Four more than he likes me! Sniff!"

Of course, that was not true. But every time I see that cover to Fantastic Four, I shake my fist and go, "Damn Pacheco Fantastic Four!"

That said, of course Carlos Pacheco is an excellent artist and re-addition to Marvel.

(Recently, while going through our old back issues, the BF held up that very issue of Fantastic Four. "Keep it?" he asked innocently)

(I have an ego, apparently, the size of a small planet)

Show Them The Money

This is a post inspired by this post and this post and this post and this post.

When good comics starring female superheroes -- especially written by females -- come out, why don't they get bigger numbers? Why are critically acclaimed books like Manhunter canceled due to low numbers? And that book was actually given several cushions and reprieves due to DC's desire to have a good comic starring a woman -- as early as the first few issues. It had many, many chances to get bigger numbers, to build this devoted fanbase of people who like to read comics starring smart and strong superheroines.

Where is this huge bloc of female superhero fans at? I mean, on Wednesdays at the DM?

Wonder Woman currently bleeds almost a 1,000 readers with every month that goes by:

01/2008: Wonder Woman #16  —  42,897 (- 3.9%)

02/2008: Wonder Woman #17  —  41,948 (- 2.2%)

03/2008: Wonder Woman #18  —  40,771 (- 2.8%)

04/2008: Wonder Woman #19  —  39,489 (- 3.1%)

05/2008: Wonder Woman #20  —  38,116 (- 3.5%)

06/2008: Wonder Woman #21  —  37,086 (- 2.7%)

07/2008: Wonder Woman #22  —  36,514 (- 1.5%)

08/2008: Wonder Woman #23  —  35,562 (- 2.6%)

09/2008: Wonder Woman #24  —  34,583 (- 2.8%)

10/2008: Wonder Woman #25  —  33,583 (- 2.9%)

It's written by a woman. There you go: a comic with the biggest iconic female superhero in the world, written by a popular female writer. You want more books like this, you want more superheroines in comics and movies -- go arrange a movement or something and get more issues of this book purchased.

Why don't these books get bigger numbers? Why didn't She-Hulk or Catwoman get better numbers? Or the myriad of other titles starring female characters who come, go, and are forgotten? Were all these books bad? Was White Tiger bad? It was written by a successful female novelist, starring a strong female character. What more do you want? Is it a conspiracy against every female writer and superhero ever?

There are several answers:
1. It's a conspiracy against women.
2. There are lots of female fans in other media: TV, novels, movies, etc. Lots of female manga fans. But they are just not making the transition to mainstream superhero comics -- they may not even be aware of the comics starring female characters that are available to them. There's a disconnect.
3. There are not the legions of female mainstream superhero comic book fans out there to support these comics with the numbers that it will take to make them successful.

Personally, I think the answer is somewhere between #2 & 3.

But I'm saying: If you really want these comics to be successful -- and, in turn, convince Hollywood to make more movies starring these superheroines -- then make more of an effort to support these comics. Talk them up on your blogs, and support them with your wallets. No, I'm not saying support the ones you think are "crap." But go support Wonder Woman. How many of you have read the Hellcat mini-series written by Kathryn Immonen?

I think there are definitely barriers thrown in the way of women in the comic book industry. But I also see a fair bit of outreach to female writers on both sides of the aisle. And no matter what the gender -- if the bucks are there, if the numbers are high, nobody is going to argue with that. I read a comment on one of those posts that said, "movies are an artform, not a way for making money." Uh...no, not really. You can't support Hollywood without making money. You can't support the comic industry without making money. You know that nice CGI, those awesome colors on that comic book you adore -- THEY COST MONEY!!!!!!

The only way women are really going to break the barriers in mainstream comics is by their books making money. The only way you are going to see a boom in well-written superheroine comics is if those comics make money.

A publisher can -- and have -- supported superheroine books that were well-done but not pulling in the numbers. But they can only do that for so long. And then when it comes to plan out the next year or two years of books -- they remember those poor numbers. They have to. They run a business.

The next step for women in mainstream comics is to translate our hopes and dreams and talents and superheroines we love into comic book sales. Past the idealism, past the blog posts, past everything -- we need to sell these books. Nobody fucks with JK Rowling, and there's a good reason for that.

My Last Precinct

I usually turn my nose up to mass-market paperback fiction -- you know, the type advertised on subway cars. I got through about 8 pages of "The Da Vinci Code" before I put it down in disgust.

But I recently purchased a copy of "The Last Precinct," by Patricia Cornwell, for two reasons.

One, I felt I needed to bone up on my crime/mystery writing.

Second, because of this weird and very vivid dream I had.

It featured a copy of the Bible -- my Bible -- with the words "Patricia Cornwell" on it in gilt letters. A voice said, "this is your true story."

So I randomly chose a Cornwell paperback at the bookstore, and purchased it along with a book on FBI profiling and the basics of spycraft. (I'm pretty serious about adding more "meat" to my writing)

I am halfway finished with reading "The Last Precinct," and am hooked. But the book's subject matter -- or rather, the subject matter that keeps reappearing, reasserting itself in different permutations -- has struck a nerve.

The book opens with the aftermath of an attack on a woman's life. She survives, and actually got an opportunity to hurt her assailant. But the tables are turned on her and she becomes the criminal, the suspected. Her life gets turned upside down, whereas her attacker sits pretty (or ugly) in the jail, being fed junk food and soft drinks. She was the one who was attacked, yet she finds herself constantly on the defensive.

Underlying this is the fear of some male characters of strong women, giving some a motive to destroy the objects of their hate (whether physically with a hammer to the face, or career-wise).

One character says,

"Righter thinks you're a nut case, I hate to tell you. And I gotta add that he don't like you personally and never has because he's got the balls of a soprano and don't like powerful women."

The main character, Kay Scarpetta, is not the only female in the novel to face this sort of resistance and persecution. Her niece is in the process of being "run out" of the ATF -- for being both a woman and particularly a lesbian. And a similar thing has happened to her partner, Teun.

And sexual harassment -- even by "well meaning" male characters, also features prominently.

While the outward battlefield in "The Last Precinct" is played out in court rooms and medical examiner's offices, there is another battle -- that against high-achieving women in mostly male institutions.

The solution -- at least at this point in the story -- is to quit those institutions and create a new place. A place where women can work without the barriers, the suspicion, the hatred of who they are. The Last Precinct.

I'm at the part of the story where Kay -- suspected of a murder she didn't commit, slandered, betrayed -- tenders her resignation to the governor. It is a hard decision for her. But she's had enough.

"I have lost this city. I can't go back. I can blame it on Chandonne, but that isn't all of it, if I am honest with myself. It is time to do the harder thing. Change."

Guide To Sex In RPGs

I found this -- THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES --while searching for something completely different.

Some excerpts:

Masturbation (Enchantment)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: Neg.

This spell causes the horniness of Arousal with the added
irresistible urge to masturbate with any and all external sexual
organs. This spell functions like a combination of an Arousal cantrip
with a command to "masturbate!" If no appendages are free for this
purpose, the subject will rub the sexual organs against any nearby
functional object. The material component is two pieces of cloth,
rubbed quickly against one another.




Table 3: Magical Diseases

Die
Roll  Disease
2     Acidic Secretion
3     Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.)
4     Fiery Secretion
5     Mummy Crotch Rot
6     Orgasmatic Flight
7     Orgasmatic Monster Summoning
8     Orgasmatic Polymorph
9     Poison Secretion
10    Sexual Audible Glamer
11    Sexual Chill Touch
12    Sexual Clairvoyance
13    Sexual Invisibility
14    Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope
15+   REROLL


PMS (Conjuration) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: one creature
Save: 1/2

PMS causes the subject to experience an unceasing, agonizing, dull
throbbing pain throughout the groin and lower abdomen, as though all
the muscles in that area were clenched like a vise. THAC0 and all
saves are treated as if the subject were one level lower (a 0th-level
or 1st-level character automatically misses or fails), and Constitution
and Charisma are reduced by 1 for the duration of the spell. A
successful save results in a nagging headache reducing Constitution and
Charisma by 1 for the duration of the spell.

Red Alert

I'm PMSing like crazy today and run the mortal risk of starting a controversial post that will piss many people off.

Seriously -- I've spent the whole morning trying to craft posts, and they are all like:

"You know who I hate? This motherfucker right over here."

"Abortion! I have many fascinating opinions on this fascinating topic!"

"Here, for your amusement, is the unexpurgated 12-page chronology of events that I submitted to my lawyer in 2004."

"Hipsters! Rauugh!"

So instead of doing this, I will put the blog in stasis until tomorrow morning -- or when I eat a slice of really nice cake -- whatever comes first.

The Sexy and Glamorous Life of a Comic Book Writer

Just in case you were wondering.

(rest assured, many sexy and glamorous ideas are going on in that brain, feverishly being translated into rip-roaring entertainment for all!)

What Image Is More Sexist? (NSFW)

And why?





















Images taken from interior pages of Witchblade & WildCATS/Grifter.

Grifter image via Shirtless Superheroes

Oh, and just wanted to zoom in on one part of the Grifter pic:









"Is that your gun or are you just happy to see me?"
"Uh...no actually, that's just my gun."

Springboards For Controversy

I thought I would just lob a few opinions out there that might be controversial, or not, we'll see. Some have already been field-tested. :-)

1. I really really really enjoy the Mark Millar/Bryan Hitch Fantastic Four.
I do. The book looks beautiful. It presents the characters is a way that I can relate to and enjoy. This is the first time I've really felt motivated to keep up with the book as a monthly. And the interior artist also draws the cover -- bonus! And I even like the way the logo is composed on the cover. Sold.

2. Vertigo comics & trade paperbacks are printed on shit paper.
Yes. It's true. Why go through all the trouble of producing something like Northlanders only to print it on shit paper? Are the trades for Northlanders printed on shit paper too? The key is not so much the paper itself -- rough, one step up from newsprint -- but the color palettes used. Books like Scalped, Northlanders, and Hellblazer usually have darker, moodier palettes. These are rich palettes. You can't have these palettes on crap paper, because the paper can't "hold" that richness. Rich color on crap paper looks like murk. Now, I can understand if you are doing it for the monthlies. But the trades too? Read a trade for Scalped -- shit paper. Surely these better-selling Vertigo titles deserve something better? Yeah, I know that keeps the price-point down -- but at the cost of making the book look like a murky smear?

3. Gender might impact one's creative output.
Certainly not in all cases! But there might be general trends. I just don't buy that gender has zero impact on creative output. I mean -- zero impact? Really? I'm just the same as a man? That's bullshit, I'm not the same as a man. My "wiring" is not the same as a man's. My hormones are not the same as a man's. The immediate, everyday details of life that I instinctively observe are different. I'll say it: I care more about emotions and feelings. And I'm saying this as someone who considers herself a bit more "mannish" than the average woman. Does denying these differences really help me? It's like some corporate chick when I was working in advertising, she told me to never admit you menstruate. Fuck -- I menstruate! I'm not going to mention it at the board meeting. But I fucking bleed, and I get bloated and feel shitty and emotional too.

The problem comes when the idea I have outlined gets interpreted as meaning (for example) "women don't write as good as men." Obviously, this is not the case. JK Rowling, Patricia Cornwell, Anne Rice. That chick who wrote "Twilight." Multi-billion dollar authors. But my point is: why is this not yet translating to the comic book market in the numbers that it should? How does a female writer work with a comic publisher to maximize her strengths and audience potential? Does she do it by positioning herself as "another Geoff Johns/Brian Michael Bendis?" Or does she do it by saying: "Yeah, I'm different. Different and awesome. And it's exactly my difference that's going to sell this book." That's the key -- how do we use this natural difference in a way to sell the product?

4. I think the direction of Amazing Spider-Man post-"Brand New Day" has worked.
I tried to approach the Spider-Man comics several years ago and gave up. That "Other" storyline? I couldn't follow that. The continuity had become impenetrable for me. As a new reader, I was turned off. But now, I feel I have been given an even platform onto which to begin my re-involvement with Spidey. And buying the weekly books has just become a habit. I might not read all of them right away. I read the arcs in chunks. But it works for me. I guess it becomes a question of, should comic book companies try to grab new readers on longtime titles? Can we streamline the continuity a bit? Like in Invincible Iron Man. And I think you periodically need to do that.

Clint Eastwood On The "Pussy Generation"

quotes from Clint Eastwood's recent interview with Esquire.

"We live in more of a pussy generation now, where everybody's become used to saying, "Well, how do we handle it psychologically?" In those days, you just punched the bully back and duked it out."

"I don't know if I can tell you exactly when the pussy generation started. Maybe when people started asking about the meaning of life."

The Anti-Eastwood:


However, Hawkeye Pierce is NOT a pussy!

Comic Books and Professional Wrestling

Having seen "The Wrestler" recently, I was struck by the resonances between professional wrestling and comics.

First, both (in theory) present passion plays involving good vs. evil. Outlandish costumes and tights are involved.

The wrestler himself takes on another identity for his work -- a new name. His personal life, his real name, becomes his "secret identity."


Both entertainment industries largely cater to males in their teens and twenties -- as well as middle-aged lifelong fans. Both feature men and women in impossibly buff physical condition.

There are only a handful of major mainstream wrestling corporations -- though actually, with the combination of the WWF and the WCW, it's really more like a monopoly. You either play nice with Vince McMahon or you get no work. Similarly, there are not many major mainstream comic book publishers. You either play nice with Dan DiDio or you get no work. Consequently, some professional wrestlers complain of a lack of options for their employment -- and so do some professional comic book creators.


What becomes of the aging or aged professional wrestler? What happens when he finds himself "out of style?" Has he been developing another skill set for himself in case work dries up? Or does he doggedly continue chasing the profession he loves -- regardless of his finances, his health, or the lowliness of the venue?

Such a wrestler can find temporary solace in the fans who remember him at conventions. He can participate in the occasional "nostalgia match." But there are many who find themselves on the skids. Perhaps partially due to their own personal problems or weaknesses. Perhaps they get sick and die early. There is a whole list of such untimely dead professional wrestlers.


Why do these athletes/performers get chewed up by their industry? Is it because professional wrestling celebrates, ultimately, youth? Or the illusion of youth? Is it the relative lack of jobs, of competing corporations? Is it because the wrestlers themselves love the industry so damn much that they never gave thought to doing anything else? Is it because many see their vocation as a brotherhood of sorts, a calling -- and such an idealistic, knight-like vision of their industry has clouded their good sense and practicality?

I've seen the swift and inexorable decline of several comic book creators and fans. It is indeed like an Aronofsky movie. Some are cuddlier than Mickey Rourke, and some are not. Me, I find Rourke way too cuddly in "The Wrestler." Very Hollywood. Less Hollywood, and more on the nose, are the portrayals in the movie of the women who don't want to get too close, who fear being asked to take care of these aging knights.


I love comics, but ultimately not enough to be a martyr to them. I lack that kamikaze zeal. I know a lot of industry people who lack it, who could jump in a heartbeat into a quiet life in teaching or advertising or shamanism, anything -- anything to avoid that worst-case scenario, that final drawn-out dissolution.

Will there come a point in the future where the Noble Brotherhood of wrestlers and comickers will die out, being replaced by something more well-rounded? Or will the very nature of the entertainment itself -- men in tights beating the living shit out of each other -- change first? Or not change? Or not change, and continue to require such die-hard Brothers and Sisters to fuel the machine? And if that's the case, is that so wrong? They are in Comics. They are in Wrestling. It's all they ever wanted to do.

A New Year, A Brand New Day

With the turn of the new year, there is the tendency to make big lists for ourselves of resolutions. Lose weight. Stop smoking cigarettes. Keep that journal going.

For me, it was reading that big damn pile of comics.

I read about 60-70 comics in one shot over the weekend. These were all the comics I have been putting off reading for weeks, in some cases months. Entire runs. Arcs from Daredevil, JSA, Hercules. The entire new Guardians of the Galaxy. The tie-ins to the end of Secret Invasion and everything in Dark Reign. War Machine. Amazing Spider-Man. Blue Marvel. Even goddamn Northlanders. Read eight issues of Northlanders within 30 minutes -- you get a chill wind.

The point was, I had these books on my plate, made a commitment to read them, but just couldn't get my ass in a seat to do it. Now, I've done it. The cumulative effect is not necessarily negative, but slightly "Super Size Me" in immediate impact. Can you overdose on comic books?

As soon as I was finishing, the BF creates for me another stack of "must read" comics. This is to keep me limber. What did Denny O'Neil tell me when I asked him what comics he recommended I read? "You've already read too many comics." Nay, I say. I say thee nay.

That's it -- Thor. I need to read more Thor.