Rose From Doctor Who "Just A Needy Girlfriend?"

Blasphemy?

Steven Moffatt, the head writer of the current Doctor Who TV series, confirmed that spunky "Who" sidekick Rose will not return to the show.

Further, he referred to the popular character, who appeared in the first two seasons, as:

"...a slightly needy girlfriend..."

I think to refer to the character in this fashion sort of trivializes all she did on the show. At least with the spinoff "Sarah Jane Adventures" they put another former Who sidekick in a starring role.

I love the show, but the only problem I have with it is the concept of these female assistants. It often turns into "I like you babe, but Freebird and all that," and then Doctor Who sorta goes off.

And as much of an active role as characters like Rose or Martha have had on the show, they always seem sort of transitory. Look, I know we get different Doctors -- but how many "companions" has it been for this current show so far?

I mean...if I had my choice to play the Doctor or one of his companions, I'd put on the glasses and the Chucks in one second.

And I have Chucks. Well, not real ones. But good enough.

What Hayden Pantierre Did Between Signings At SDCC

Just had to share that with you this morning. Obviously a product placement ad for Purell.

Funnier "I'm so disgusted to be here" photo at this link.

Johnny Depp To Play Riddler In Batman Sequel?

Hollyscoop reports that Johnny Depp will reportedly play The Riddler in the Batman sequel...and Philip Seymour Hoffman will play the Penguin.

What, no love for Patton Oswalt?

Of course, the first and best Riddler will always be Mr. Frank Gorshin:

Superman is...

I received a trio of Superman links on my Google Alerts and I decided to reference all three...

In the first, rdxdave explains why he thinks Superman is, among other things, kinda stupid:

"Superman is like Brett Favre: strong, good looking, literate; but I somehow doubt that he's doing the Sudoku puzzle in the paper."

The second, by Chris Kiser, explains why he thinks Superman is a Liberal:

"Even at his worst, Superman mostly embodies the good side of liberalism, and the universe he occupies is basically a vision of what the world would be if liberals were right. My argument does, however, lend further validity to the notion that Batman is the superior character, and that he, like most conservatives facing liberals, could probably defeat Superman in a fight."

The last post, on Sir Martin's Outclass, is more like an overview of Superman's history over the last 15 years, and how it impacted the author:

"Over the past year, two writers made their mark in the Superman books. On Superman, Kurt Busiek depicted a Superman that is confident in himself and his powers. He believed that Superman is a man of great consequence and that his role is to help humanity endure against all odds. On Action Comics, Geoff Johns brought Superman back to the very core of the character and polished all the continuity gems such as the Legion, the Daily Planet, and Brainiac while enhancing the Superman mythology.

Both writers also reflect the current zeitgeist of a post-9/11 world. Azzarello wrote very much in the 9/11 era where we would question our heroes and our values. The post-9/11 world is a reaffirmation of who we are, what makes us strong, and how we are vital to the human race. I saw that reflected in my own work as a history teacher, and this also reflects in how I view Superman as a character."

All three posts remind me that iconic heroes like Superman and Spider-Man are mirrors with which we are assisted in seeing our own worlds...we think these characters are the same for everybody, but actually it's a mite bit more subjective than that...

Bat-Spoilers?!

I hinted that I knew the possible direction of the identity of Batman post "Batman RIP" in this post. If Rich is right in his latest column, I was correct.

Have you read Rich's column yet? What do you think of these potential spoilers regarding Batman? Surprised? Believe it? Will it last? Is it a gimmick?

And has anyone really warmed up to Jason Todd yet? What can be done to make him somewhat likable? Should he be likable? Is he even a good unlikable -- you know, like Shia LaBeouf?

And one more time I must ask the question: do you prefer reboots, eternal youth, or generational succession?

My answer: I prefer generational succession -- or the feeling as if time is passing and people are changing and growing.

HOWEVER -- generational succession is absent in some of our most famous properties.

We get a little of it in Peanuts, but it is extremely slow and the characters never mature past childhood. Moreover -- I don't WANT to see Charlie Brown grow up. Unless Jason Yungbluth is drawing it.

Pamela Anderson Was Original Scully Pick

...and the Earths diverged from that point, creating "Earth Pam" and "Earth Prime."

Gillian Anderson says:
"They were looking for someone bustier, taller, leggier than me."

Which means that "conventional wisdom" -- not always right.

Side note: I always thought Pam Anderson was far prettier without all that Barbie makeup:












I felt the same way about Suzanne Somers in her prime, these are blonds who didn't need such harsh makeup to look pretty.

San Diego Comic Con Reflections, Part Two

So anyway, me and my friend Tiffany got up reasonably early on Saturday morning, with maps of San Diego's touristy locations in my bag and full of good intentions. Comic con be damned, we were going to spend one day comic-free and in Balboa Park basking in sunlight.

And of course we ended up the whole day at the con and its environs. But we had good intentions.

Hollywood has pretty much turned San Diego Comic Con into its own personal marketing test group. The first thing you see as you approach the con from the Gaslamp district are "replicas" of ancient Chinese statues in a field -- these were from the new Mummy movie. Then you see the Knight Rider car. Later that day, we would see a lot full of (rather shabby) cows advertising another sci-fi TV show. And everywhere there is paper, paper pressed in palms.

And this is just outside the convention center.

My favorite promo item? Election stickers touting the combined ticket of Obama and Adama.

The convention center with its elaborate glass facade dominates the landscape, it affords a sense of direction as you travel the neighborhood. It looks at you as if to say, "why are you not in me?"

Once inside the con, there is a palpable sense of danger regarding the chance of possibly missing anything. A panel, an appearance, a signing, an announcement. You sincerely wish you could clone yourself to catch the two or three panels you want to attend that are all being held at the same time. And when you are in the industry, this sense of not wanting to miss a thing extends to the after-hours activities in the hotel bars and restaurants in the area.

In one hotel bar I looked over my shoulder and saw Grant Morrison. I wasn't sure it was him. I know; how could I not recognize him instantly? Well, I didn't. Then I kinda did. My friend Tiffany made sure to accidentally brush his shoulder when she squeezed past him in the crowded bar. That was so she could say that she rubbed shoulders with Grant Morrison. This was a deviously clever idea. I asked her if she picked up any sense of mojo coming off of him. I damned myself for being so shy.

But I'm not big on introducing myself to celebrities. And that what Morrison is -- a celebrity. In this field and out of it. I had nothing to say to him, though I've enjoyed his work. The only person I really did that "you're groovy" thing to was Eric Powell. And that's because the fact that he can turn around a book of that quality like that every month is fucking amazing. And that's what I told him. Except, I didn't curse.

Ironically, I spent quite a bit of time in the DC booth -- the Zuda corner of it specifically. That was ok, I didn't see most of the DCU editors on the floor anyway, or at least not in the volume I have seen them in the past. That might be because they had the option to stay in the DC hospitality suite. And I think a lot of them took that option, and who can blame them? Complimentary lunch or over-priced mini-pizzas from the concession stands, you decide. And then there is the "rabble."

More ironically -- the amount of former DC co-workers who ran into me and gave me a hug. Between this convention and all the others, there have been a lot of them. Even ones who I thought wouldn't even remember me. Some introduce me to other people at the company that were there when I was but I really didn't meet. "You know who this is? This is Valerie D'Orazio!" Awesome.

The Marvel booth was absolutely mobbed with fans. The circulation of fans at the Marvel booth was a bit more of an enthusiastic mass pushing inward towards the center, whereas with the DC booth it was more spread out and browsy. These booths were the nuclei around which the other booths are situated -- but I think I'm only seeing this as a superhero comic fan. I think cons like MoCCA Art Fest are far better at giving the indie publishers a shot.

The real independent stuff -- mini-comics and the like -- were in another part of the con entirely. Maybe they should all be together. And maybe Artists Alley shouldn't be divorced from the publisher booths, either. It's like these huge swathes of TV, movie, and video game promotions were cutting between everything. It took me several tries to even find Artists Alley. I began to doubt that Artists Alley existed, but was only the stuff of legend. I mean, the Harold And Kumar Guantanamo Bay unicorn you could pose on existed. But the artists???

That night was like crushcrushblurhotelbarcrushtalktalktalkblurcrushhotelbar. Nothing could really top what we did the previous year -- having an impromptu dinner with Erik Larsen and listening him to talk candidly about comics and his art for three hours. But almost rubbing shoulders with Grant Morrison, that was pretty special.

Cloak and Dagger Media Round-Up

Oh, God, here starts the pimping...

Comic Book Resources

Newsarama

Marvel.com

Comics Should Be Good

Comic Book Resources ( on the SDCC "Women of Marvel" panel)

Comic Vine (on the SDCC "Women Of Marvel" panel)

and...(tangentially)

Schwapp Online??!!!!! (thanks, Kevin)

My take on the general reaction to the announcement: I think it's generally pretty positive, with the requisite amount of skeptics.

I think the skepticism on the part of some people is fine. I'm just going to do the best I can do with this book. I know if you've been a C&D fan for 20 years you want the best for these characters. I want the best for these characters. I like Tyrone and Tandy very much. I want them to be happy. And I want them to grow. And I want you all to really get to know them, because they are really interesting and complex people.

As for the manga issue -- I never approached this project as specifically a manga. I approached C&D and the issue of who the artist would be organically, in terms of what would be best for the story. I was discussing with a peer the basic idea for Cloak and Dagger and he said, "Irene would be perfect for this." And I looked at her samples and thought they were gorgeous and I thought it fit. And I asked her for some sketches for a pitch, and she was generous enough to provide me with a whole stack of them; the art at the beginning of this post being one of them. To provide a writer she barely knows so much art on spec required a big leap of faith on her part; one I was very grateful for.

Also, Irene's sequential art is amazing. There is a sense of action in her comic book pages -- pushing and pulling, sweetness and menace -- that is fantastic. If you take a look at her work in TOKYOPOP's "Mark Of The Succubus" you'll see that it has an edge. She's not afraid to "go there." But she also has a great grasp of giving her characters humanity. A great grasp on emotion and timing. And I'm very excited to be working with her on this book.

Anyway, that's it for now on the pimpage. My BF is sooooo much better with the toutage and the promotage than I am. I mean, I like pimping other people's stuff -- in fact, that's my job -- but I feel sorta weird when I have to do it for myself. But I'm gonna have to. :-)

San Diego Comic Con Reflections, Part One

Hmmm, I want to put this all in a coherent narrative, but I'm still zonked from my trip.

OK, here goes. Friday at the Con.

I guess I would start by saying that I'm neurotic about flying on airplanes in a way that would make Tony Shalhoub's "Monk" look zen. I'm pretty good at hiding this, and I really don't discuss it with many people because it's kinda embarrassing. So when Marvel inquired if I was going to be going to San Diego, the first thing I did was try to figure out how to get there by train. Then I went and got the plane tickets. I'm looking forward to the day we can just shoot our atoms through tubes.

Riding in a JetBlue plane is like riding inside a Macbook. Everything is white and curved and efficient, with a faint whiff of "green" enviro-friendly ethic thrown in. So if you're as neurotic as me about flying, JetBlue is a pretty good call. Just strap on your seatbelt, buy a little bottle of Kingfish merlot, and watch basic cable programming for six hours. Of course, the day I traveled the story about the explosion on that Qantas plane was all over the news, complete with amateur footage of the people within the craft going apeshit and the oxygen masks dropping down. More Kingfish, please.

By one of those twists of fate I ran into inker Michael Bair on the plane. I worked with Bair on Identity Crisis and Hawkman. He is, in my opinion, one of the great inkers, and an excellent artist overall. We chatted and he gave me some advice on freelancing: "save your money." He said it was really important to save your money and have a cushion. Since I'm about to go back to freelance internet marketing & promotions -- as well as freelance comic book writing -- I took the advice to heart.

But also, I was looking for some sign that the flight was going to be okay and I had nothing to worry about. It reminds me of this scene at the end of the Spalding Gray movie "Gray's Anatomy" where he sees Richard Nixon at the eye doctor. He spends the entire movie talking about how stressed out and worried he was about his upcoming eye surgery, to the point where he was attending sweat lodges and consulting faith healers who pull sausages out of people's abdomens. But when he finally sees Richard Nixon in the waiting room before his surgery, he interprets it like a sign from God that everything was going to be okay. What I'm trying to say is, Michael Bair was like my Richard Nixon.

I met up with my friend Tiffany at the airport and we headed to the Gaslamp district, where we were staying at the Grand Horton Hotel. The Grand Horton is awesome. I hate those hotels that are full of ugly abstract paintings and pastels, like something out of a Florida retirement home. The Grand Horton looked nothing like that. It was all Victorian with plaster cherubs and lace. Yes, it had a little bit of the look of a turn-of-the-century brothel. I peeked into one room, there was this guy in a bear suit kneeling in front of this other dude, I didn't know what was going on. In another room, I accidentally got locked in and it started snowing. But I don't think any of that really happened. I think it was the Kingfish.

Actually, the rumor was that the Grand Horton might have been actually haunted. One woman who was staying on our floor said that she heard strange murmurings at night. I was disappointed. If I was going to stay in an allegedly haunted hotel, I thought for sure I'd see some ghost action. Closest I came to action was bumping my head on the fold-out mirror doors in front of the TV set. And my BF was staying in a separate room with his buds. Boys room, girls room. Just like camp.

Which was fine, because both me and the BF were incredibly busy -- he had already been there for two days, and I had to get through everything I needed to within two-and-a-half days total. By Sunday, me and Sweetie were utterly exhausted. His pupils looked like two specks in a sea of tiredness. I was so drained and cranky that if I saw one more dude trying to be Heath Ledger I was going to start bawling. I was seriously going to cry my fucking eyes out. Not because I didn't have a fabulous time at the Con. Not because I didn't feel dazzling and wonderful after my book announcement. But because the San Diego Comic Con is a massive, biblically-sized human carwash.

SDCC was the church of pop-culture -- and being in the middle of it, especially with the added layer of being so involved in the industry itself, was like participating in some huge religious experience. Dude, it was intense.

Somewhere in the middle of it all, I bought a Tribble. It uncannily resembled the cute and cuddly creatures from the classic Star Trek episode. It had a electronic device in the middle of it that allowed it to shiver and chirp in reaction to movement. I wondered what the airport screeners would think of my Tribble. I wondered what my cat would think. Okay, actually I just bought it so I could videotape my cat walking up to it and jumping on the ceiling after accidentally activating it.

The Tribble had the same color fur as my dearly departed cat Buffy. Looked just like her, too, except for not having limbs, a tail, or a head. Purred like her too. Shed like her too.

I don't remember much of Friday night except for going to Dr. Sketchy's and ordering an Original Sin ale. Tiffany was drawing away at the combination burlesque show/life-drawing class. Then somehow we ended up at the Hyatt's restaurant bar. This is a common occurrence at San Diego Comic Con. Drinks were bought, deals were made. The future of the comic book industry was set.

Onto Saturday.

The Joker Arrested For Stealing Batman Posters

A 20-year-old man was arrested yesterday for stealing posters and other items from a Michigan theater that was screening "The Dark Night," The Smoking Gun reports. The young man was, of course, dressed like The Joker.


Love the in-and-out-of-character mugshot photos!

Obligatory:

Cloak & Dagger!

I've literally just walked into my apartment after returning from San Diego, but I just wanted to pop in and say what I wanted to say for several months now: I'm working on a mini-series for Marvel called "Cloak & Dagger" and I'm pretty damn excited.

My thanks to Marvel Comics for making a childhood dream come true, and thanks so much to the people who read this blog every day and support it and me.

More to come in the days to follow, for sure. But now -- there is the resting. And, hot on the heels of the resting -- the writing. Oh yes, there will be writing.

Speak to you soon,
Val

Occasional Superheroine SDCC Meet-Up!

Okay all,

I'm not sure it will be as cool as the Pop Candy SDCC meet-up -- but I still think it could be awesome if we tried!

I'm thinking of holding it @12:00 on Sunday after the "Women Of Marvel" panel I'm on, which is being held from 10:30-11:30 at room 6A. (If you would like to sit-in on the panel beforehand -- that would be awesome too!)

From there we could choose a place to eat and hang-out for lunch! Or we could just roam the convention center and buy awesome crap & talk about comix! Or -- both!

If anybody is interested, please let me know so I can get a head count going and figure this out<----super-prepared

What is it with today?! Ma Petrillo RIP

Seriously, this is just sad.
I used to watch the Golden Girls every Sunday. :-(

Best Line In "The Dark Knight"

"You complete me."

More convincing than when Tom Cruise said it.

Christian Bale WTF?????

No seriously, is this movie cursed? Is Maggie Gyllenhaal going to go apeshit and shave her head now?

(see, I thought I was going to be too distracted by SDCC to get my blogging mojo back. but the world keeps providing me with material)

Says it was all a fantasy in the end and never really happened:

A Few Thoughts...

More details next week, but in case you've been following this bloggy saga since I first rebooted the site almost two years ago and wrote "Goodbye To Comics"...

I'm living my dream now. I never thought I could get to this point. No, scratch that -- when I was a kid, I thought for sure I could get to this point. But as an adult, achieving my deepest wishes seemed too difficult, too uncertain. I received a lot of advice back then that is helpful now, and a lot of advice that set me back for years.

Basically, any advice that stated, in one form or another, that I had to play it safe, not be myself, and do what everybody else did was wrong. It was wrong. How does that old saying go? The nail that sticks out the furthest gets whacked the hardest? Was that line from the Sopranos? I dunno. But that type of advice never helped me.

And I'm writing this now to say that even if you think, in your darker hours, that you can't achieve your dream -- you can. But being true to yourself is going to be a big part of your success.

I feel incredibly lucky and grateful for the opportunities I have now. I wish I could go back in time and tell the 13-year-old me that this day was going to eventually come. But, I think she already knew.

Twist and Shout

I'm going to be really busy the next couple of days getting ready for San Diego -- so posting might be a little spotty. I apologize in advance! And I'll have a lot to blog about when I get back, so I'll sort of make up for it.

To The Person Who Donated $70 To The Site In July

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was going through my (tiny) funds for San Diego, and I was like: OMG!

Really, I do very much appreciate it, and it really really helps.

Black Canary Barbie

Okay, Black Canary Barbie: too titillating? offensive? is the controversy justified? etc.

Black Canary Barbie is a $40 collector's doll. I used to collect Barbies about six years ago. The expensive collector dolls are not meant for kids. They have all sorts of stuff -- from possible "adult" subject matter to little swallowable pieces -- that can effectively place them out of the realm of your standard eight-year-old.

Now, they did put out cheaper versions of DC heroines that were theoretically targeted towards younger fans. This Black Canary is not one of them. It's a $40 freaking doll. Mattel has these "jazz" inspired Barbies that are even more extreme, with fishnets and sexy poses.

That said, the only Barbies I'd give a little girl are the ones where she's a veterinarian, or a police woman, or a teacher, or a journalist for the school paper. Something constructive.

You know what's really not constructive? A Barbie dressed in a pink tutu called "Princess Foo-Foo Flower."

That said, no, I wouldn't give this Black Canary doll to a child. It's not appropriate. A teenager, sure. Not an eight-year-old. It's just too adult. Not adult in a bad way. Just too adult, with no context for a little girl.

The problem is, many people assume, when they hear "Barbie," that we are talking about strictly children's toys. Whereas, like a large segment of the action-figure buying public, what we are really talking about are adult collectors.

Kinda like...comics?

(with a hat tip to Paul Duggan for the link)

Ditmas Park Tales: The Tracks

My shitty version of Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" --

Okay, this is how The Kid ended up making me climb the sharp rocks out of the tracks.

The Kid -- I must have had a dozen aliases created for him in other things I've written, but I'm getting lazy now -- had struck upon a truly genius idea. We were going to go down to Ave. I to the discount store and buy up all the Toy Biz Marvel Comics action figures that were on sale. I mean, they were on sale for nothing, maybe $2 or $3 a piece. Hulk. Dr. Doom. Wolverine. We'd buy them all up, along with similarly discounted Simpsons and Little Mermaid figures, and then wait a few years and resell 'em and make a profit and be rich.

I was 16 and had made a firm decision that I wasn't going to return to high school anymore. It was boring, it was dull, I couldn't relate. Worst of all, they were making us play badminton.

So instead of taking the bus down Coney Island to the store, The Kid convinced me to take the tracks. They were train tracks that were rarely used anymore, overgrown with weeds and choked with rusted cans and the skeletons of bikes and appliances. It was easy enough to make one's way down to the tracks, by squeezing past a fence and navigating past a very level decline or series of flat step-like rocks. But, as with everything in my life, I needed to know there was a predictable conclusion, a way out. I wanted to know there was a similarly safe and easy way to get out of the tracks. The Kid assured me that there was.

Now, The Kid also had a habit of accidentally setting things on fire. So I don't know why I trusted him.

My heart dropped as we walked along the tracks. One-by-one, The Kid opened up to me regarding the dangers of the area -- how to listen for the trains he initially told me almost never traveled down this route anymore, the accidents, the criminals who hung out there. I saw a crack pipe lying between two bleached and splintery wooden boards and brought it to The Kid's attention. He admitted sometimes him and his cohorts would go down there with booze, but swore they weren't taking drugs.

Later, The Kid would steal a small metal cash box and take it down to the tracks and try to open it with a sledgehammer. I don't remember details. There might have been tiny explosives involved as well. Just like in those heist movies. I just remember it was the last time he was allowed back in his house, and that's how he ended up staying over mine for a spell.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Anyway, we were walking along the tracks, listening for the trains that were not supposed to come, when a little band of about six boys confronted us. The oldest one must have been no older than eleven. They looked at us with screwed-up, mean faces and announced that we would not be allowed to pass. Also, that we were fart-heads.

Now, The Kid looked like he was 12, but was all of 15. You'd figure me and him could take these suckers. But, we just felt rather silly about it. They were little children. And they could probably, if they piled on, could kick our ass. Or even have a shiv. Never underestimate youngsters who hang out on the tracks.

One boy threw a pebble at The Kid, and it bounced off his forehead. The Kid flinched. Then somebody else threw a pebble at me, landing on my cheek.

"Fart head!"

Soon, we were barraged by pebbles and the sound of this bunch's laughter. We were beat. We had no plan. We just pushed past them, the momentary sting of tiny rocks peppering our back and legs.

"How much further?" I asked him.

There was no conception of time on the tracks. Or direction, other than Where We Were and Where We Were Going.

The Kid assured me we were almost there. Then, by a steep wall-like formation of sharp rocks and glass, he stopped.

"Okay. We get out here. The store's right up and over."

Indeed, he was correct. Looking up, I could see the top of the discount store surrounded by blue skies and clouds.

"Yeah, but how do we get out of here?"

"We climb."

No, there was no fucking way I was climbing a fucking wall with sharp shit sticking out of it.

"Fine, then go back home. There is no other way. I'll leave you here."

I wanted to cry. I watched him approach the wall, grip the pipes and rocks that stuck out of its horrible, lumpy facade, and crawl away from me into the horizon.

I wanted to turn back, but then I thought of those little bastards with the pebbles. I was so close to victory and those Marvel Comics action figures for only $2.99! Nightcrawler! Colossus! Spider-Man with alternate suit!

So I approached the wall and unsteadily gripped a triangular piece of granite. I winced as my knees and the meat of my hands got scratched up. But, I finally made it to the surface.

As I met up with The Kid and headed with him towards the store, something caught my eye. I couldn't believe what I saw. A little further along the block, past the wall we climbed, was a set of concrete stairs leading to the tracks. It even had a fucking banister.

"We could have taken this to get up! Didn't you know about these stairs?!"

"Yeah. But the other way was more fun."

Is THIS Political Cartoon Offensive?

This was brought up on Fark, and, in light of the whole Obama "New Yorker" controversy, I'm interested in your opinion.

Is this cartoon (illustration) that appeared in a recent Rolling Stone offensive?


Just to backtrack a bit, I found The New Yorker cover with Obama & his wife offensive...or more specifically, in bad taste and not effective as satire. I understand arguments to the contrary and respect them. I just didn't like that cover. So sue me. I'm not asking for a boycott of The New Yorker. I'm just saying "meh," and I'm not buying the issue. Okay, not like I buy it anymore anyway, but just read what they post online. But there is a point in there, somewhere.

Back to this Rolling Stone cartoon.

I find this cartoon effective in that I clearly understand the "joke" -- the Democratic candidates are bedeviling McCain. Okay.

I find this cartoon in bad taste for two reasons.

First, the way the mock "Viet Cong" are drawn bothers me. Of course it's exaggeration -- an illustration of a theoretical McCain "flashback" using stereotypically drawn antagonists a la WW II propaganda -- and is not meant to be in any way a statement by Rolling Stone on Asians. It's satire. And yet, the appropriation of that racist imagery still has the power to disturb. I'm not saying Rolling Stone shouldn't have used that imagery, I'm just describing a gut feeling I have when I look at that cartoon. Please do not lecture me with "What Is Funny 101" and tell me my sense of humor is dead. That sort of patronizing tactic was used to death by certain critics in relation to the Obama New Yorker cover, and I'm pretty much sick to death of it.

Second, I think making fun of McCain's experience as a prisoner of war for 5+ years is in incredibly bad taste. That really bothers me. If McCain wants to once in a while make a little joke about it, that's fine. He has earned the right to refer to his painful experience any damn way he wants to. But the reference falls flat in this cartoon, and makes me cringe at the sight of it. It makes me wonder why this is not an an issue in the way the New Yorker cover was.

That all said -- I'm a Obama supporter and plan to vote for him in the election. But I respect the time McCain put in military service, and I think he suffered terribly and that's not something that should be used in satire. From Wikipedia:

"In August of 1968, a program of severe torture began on McCain. He was subjected to rope bindings and repeated beatings every two hours, at the same time as he was suffering from dysentery.^] Further injuries led to the beginning of a suicide attempt, which was stopped by guards...His injuries left him permanently incapable of raising his arms above his head. He subsequently received two to three beatings per week because of his continued refusal to sign additional statements."

Again, not advocating censorship, just giving my two cents.

No Animals Were Hurt In The Making Of This Webcomic

Just a quick question(s)...

So somebody on the DC message boards criticizes Dean Haspiel's Street Code -- premiering tomorrow on Zuda but being previewed at Pop Candy -- because it shows a scene with injured animals being operated on.

"I don't care what he has in store, cruelty to animals is something I can never enjoy...For you see there is large portion of humanity that stops reading, watching, and or listening to a form of entertainment the second an animal is harmed regardless of the intent."

This results in a moderately longish thread discussing the portrayal of cruelty of animals in comics, movies, etc.

I highly doubt Street Code is a webcomic promoting animal cruelty, as the perpetrator of the violence was called "Awful George," and the person doing the operation was apparently trying to save the felines. Clearly our sympathy is meant for these hurt creatures.

But do you think is "animal horror" acceptable in stories, given the context? Or are critters "sacred" in the way little kids are in horror films? -- like, whenever they kill off a kid in a horror film, it's considered tasteless. And should Haspiel or any other creator be able to depict images like this if it's an integral part of the story and provides crucial commentary on a character -- in this case, "Awful George?" I mean, some assholes do abuse cats.

Getting a kick out of this post:

People Who Look Like Superheroes (and their T-shirts)

Okay, this happened for the third time today, so a post was warranted.

So this morning I'm on the train, and spot this tall thin guy with black hair wearing a long red shirt and huge white goggle-looking glasses with a stripe across the center. My BF nudges me to get my attention. I say, without missing a beat, "I know, I know: Plastic Man."

Then as I am walking to work I see this kinda buff blond guy in shorts and an Aquaman T-shirt, and I'm like: "No wonder he's wearing that shirt. He looks exactly like Aquaman."

Finally, on my lunch break I spot this guy with brown hair that's sticking up, smoking outside of Home Depot with a semi-surly look on his face. What tee is he wearing? Wolverine, of course.

This all reminds me, in a very tangential way, to this really funny photo gallery in The Smoking Gun where they show mugshots of perps wearing ironic t-shirts.

Me? I love T-shirts with cool characters and stuff on them. So far I have:
* Two Charlie Browns
* Linus
* Firestar
* Iron Man
* Wonder Woman insignia
and many others I can't remember right now.

Mark Hamill As The Joker

I'm sure Heath Ledger is going to be great as the Joker, but for my money, nothing beats Mark Hamill in Batman Adventures...

The Joker and Andy Dick

Comedian Andy Dick arrested for drug possession and allegedly groping and exposing the breasts of a 17-year old girl in a public place.

It's the smile that does it. Y so serious? Many reasons, my friend. Many, many reasons.

"Wonder Women Of America" Cosplay Book

Not able to attend San Diego Comic Con this year but jonesing for your fix of women dressed as comic book superheroes? "Wonder Women Of America" is an upcoming book featuring nothing but pictures of women dressed as superheroines from last year's SDCC.

From the website:

"If you’ve been to the San Diego Comic Con, you’ve seen all those women dressed in sexy super-heroine costumes. Now you can take them home with you! Wonder Women Of America, a great new book by Amos Toys’ co-founder Russell Waterman and photographer Ruth Wiggins, celebrates how women at Comic Con choose to express themselves, their interests, their freedom and their sexuality by dressing up as fictional characters."

You can purchase a copy of this book at -- you guessed it, this year's San Diego Comic Con! Which kind of defeats the purpose of the first sentence of this post, but there you go.

Dark Knight Cake Prompts TV Station Evacuation

Shades of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force terrorism scare!

Police and firefighters were called into the station of KENS 5 Eyewitness News after receiving a chocolate cake with wires coming out of it.

Oops, it was only a Dark Knight promotion!

A spokesperson for a local theater explained that the TV station should have received an e-mail earlier telling them about the cake.

Hoo hoo ha ha:

The Goot

“I am a seducer, I’m a salesman...I’m trying to get people to buy my message. I do have a message. I’m as corny as Kansas in August. I’m as high as a kite on the Fourth of July. That’s from South Pacific, but yeah, I do have a message …The meek will inherit the earth...So be nice to the meek. The old man spitting on the corner. The janitor cleaning up. The man behind the counter at the convenience store. Those are our people—that guy driving that truck—they make the world go. And, you know, the powerful and the wealthy, there’s a place for everybody, but don’t put the regular guy down. And that comes from me. I’m an ordinary guy living an extraordinary life, but I’m an ordinary guy. I’m not a fancy fellow."

and

“I indulge in wine, and I love vodka, I do...And I love scotch, you know. And I love weed. And I love women. And I do have, you know, those … Addiction is such an overused word. Addiction is just someone famous walking around the street. It’s so whacked out, but I think that there are certainly times that I use money to make me feel better.”

--Steve Guttenberg from a sprawling interview in yesterday's New York Observer

Keanu Reeves as Plastic Man?

Has it been confirmed that Keanu Reeves might play Plastic Man in a movie adaptation?

Do Not Want.

Not even with the Wachowskis attached.

No, just having black hair and an oval-shaped head is not enough.

Last Minute San Diego Comic Con Plans

The stress!


But once again, the BF saves my bacon. :-)
(as well as other friends!)

Rumor Of The Week

From LITG:

"I understand that Marvel have been playing wargames on how to persuade Geoff Johns to jump ship at the end of his contract (over a year away) and what to do with him when they get him, so expect to see DC Comics fight back pre-emptively…"

dude.

Geoff Johns at Marvel?

Could that happen?

What would he work on?

I said it before -- I think Johns is the foundation of the DCU.

So if -- theoretically -- he was to go to Marvel, would he be engaged in similar "world-building?"

As always, this is just speculation.

Also, according to the same column, Shooter is back on "Legion."

And Nova isn't canceled, which makes the BF happy. :-)

Satire or Copyright Infringement? DJ Coffman Vs. Scott Kurtz

A recovering Skull shills his book with McPedro --
by DJ Coffman

Ah, the wonders of twitter.

DJ Coffman of HERO BY NIGHT fame, has a 'Will Draw Anything For $2' feature on his blog, where you can find Obama (as Captain America) fighting John McCain (as the Red Skull). You can also find characters like Skull from PVP getting skull-fucked by the Red Skull. Classy, huh?

DJ Coffman considers the whole thing parody and fair use. Something that Scott Kurtz (famous for his Star Wars and comic parodies) doesn't look too favorably on - as he noted on his twitter (listed in reverse reading order here):

pvponline Let me see if I can break it down for you guys: Skull getting eye-fucked=not like. PvP being parodied in Foxtrot with reverence=DO like. 3 minutes ago from twitterrific

pvponline @djcoffman How noble of you, DJ. You're a real gentleman. about 8 hours ago from twitterrific in reply to djcoffma

pvponline @djcoffman Scott Rosenberg has taught you well. You two so deserved each other. about 8 hours ago from twitterrific in reply to djcoffman

pvponline @djcoffman Where was the satire? Maybe if you understood these things better you would still own Hero by Night. So blow ME. about 8 hours ago from twitterrific in reply to djcoffman

pvponline @djcoffman the Han shirt is commentary and satire (i.e. fair use) DJ. What you did was infringement. my paypal is kurtz@pvponline.com. about 8 hours ago from twitterrific in reply to djcoffman

pvponline @JoshuaJericho DJ's never had a real tight grip on ownership rights. Clearly. about 8 hours ago from web in reply to JoshuaJericho

pvponline @djcoffman and P.S. Since you made 2 bucks off that, you owe me two fucking dollars. about 9 hours ago from twitterrific in reply to djcoffman

pvponline @djcoffman Hey, asshole. I officially do NOT give you permission to draw the red skull fucking my character. take that shit off your website about 9 hours ago from twitterrific in reply to djcoffman

And, of course here are DJs posts:

djcoffman in fact, maybe I'll just start a whole other comic about ways to skullfuck trolls? I've got time about 8 hours ago from mobile web

djcoffman any more dicky discussion about the drawing I took down, and I'm going to republish it. Fair warning about 8 hours ago from mobile web

djcoffman I haven't had this many laughs on a Sunday since I don't know when. 41 minutes ago from TwitterFox

djcoffman @JTShea No. He's the world's largest hypocrite. Maybe he should remember things from 1999 like this: http://tinyurl.com/57tt2a about 1 hour ago from TwitterFox in reply to JTShea

djcoffman @pvponline I try? about 8 hours ago from TwitterFox in reply to pvponline

djcoffman @pvponline Well, sorry it upset you. You should see the ones I've turned down. There are a lot of people who don't like you. about 8 hours ago from TwitterFox in reply to pvponline

djcoffman @pvponline And if you allow it to run on your forums I'm going to re-publish it on my site. Just a heads up. about 8 hours ago from TwitterFox in reply to pvponline

djcoffman @pvponline Of course ,I'm sorry that type of humor upsets you. I understand. Now drop it and move on. about 8 hours ago from TwitterFox in reply to pvponline

djcoffman @pvponline No, that was "dark satire" you twit. RedSkull, fucking skull, and he also requested any other skulls I could throw in. So blow me about 8 hours ago from TwitterFox in reply to pvponline So what do you think -- was the Skull/Red Skull cartoon Coffman drew satire and fair use, as much as any parody using copyrighted characters would be? Or is this a special case?

Burlesque Meets Life Drawing At Dr. Sketchys

A beautiful woman dressed as an absinthe fairy reclines on a gauze-draped table and strikes a pose, an elegant but slightly crooked antique chandelier hanging above. The artists grip their sketch pads with purpose and get to work as bawdy music cranks up over the speakers

sketch by the talented Tiffany Kamerman

Dr. Sketchy's Anti Art School combines burlesque with life drawing for a raucous good time to be enjoyed by artists and gawkers (as long as they're respectful) alike. Founded in 2005 by artist and webcomic creator Molly Crabapple, the event (held every other Saturday) has become a Brooklyn institution.

model Delirium Tremens before absinthe...

...and after absinthe

I attended the event with my friend Tiffany, an artist who let the charcoals grow dusty and hadn't sketched in a while, figuring that maybe the interesting venue might inspire her to pick her craft up again. She started with a few hesitant, unsure sketches, and by the end of the night she got her art mojo back and even won a contest (and a free shot of absinthe onstage!).

Tiffany and a fellow artist share absinthe on stage

The audience for this beautiful and sultry-- but definitely tongue-in-cheek -- burlesque show/sketching session was about 50/50 men and women and the event was definitely something both genders would enjoy. Our tireless model, Miss Delirium Tremens, struck each pose with an air of self-confidence and just a touch of humor.

If you're an artist or simply a devotee of cool shit to do in NYC, you really owe it to yourself to attend Dr. Sketchy's -- their next show is on July 26th at The Lucky Cat in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and you can read the details here.

Gallery:Dr. Sketchy's John Leavitt and Molly Crabapple

flesh...

...and fantasy
(sketch -- and the ones that follow --
courtesy of Tiffany Kamerman)

Want To Be An Assistant Editor At DC Comics?

They're hiring.

They're looking for an editor for their licensed publishing department, too.

About The Memin Pinguin Controversy

Adalisa gives us a bit more background on the cultural significance of Memin Pinguin -- recently pulled off Walmart shelves -- in Mexico. A good point she makes is that this character was created in the 1940s and was never revamped or updated, surviving to the present day on nothing but reprints.

Now, obviously, Memin Pinguin is an offensive-looking character. I can speak nothing regarding the content of the comic, having not read it. But his design, and the design of his mother, are clearly based on harsh stereotypes.

That said, what do we do with the instances of Memin Pinguins in our own backyard?

Do pockets of our community find themselves feeling nostalgic and forgiving over a character like Ebony White from The Spirit -- since it's a part of our own American pop-culture past? How about the portrayal of the Japanese in some comics during WW II? Or the cult over cheesecake bondage covers from both the comics and pulps of an earlier era? I've heard/read impassioned defenses of all these things by fans.


I've read as many defenses of Ebony White as I've read condemnations. Certainly, the character had his moments of self-sacrifice and heroism, often helped The Spirit solve cases, and was an integral part of that comic strip. On the other hand, he was drawn in a very stereotypical manner -- not unlike Memin -- and there was a lot of humor had at his expense.

From the Wikipedia entry on Ebony White:

"Eisner later expressed mixed feelings about his portrayal of Ebony White. He acknowledged that he was conscious at the time that he was using a racial stereotype and was unapologetic about it, but defended doing so by stating that "at the time humor consisted in our society of bad English and physical difference in identity.""

The difference, it seems to me, is that The Spirit's current publisher, DC Comics, does not try to push the Ebony White of the 1940s onto our mass market shelves (though he remains intact in their specialty archive editions). Instead what we have is a revisioning of the character (as depicted in the Darwyn Cooke drawing below) -- something that Adalisa says in her article Mexican publishers are too cheap or dismissive of comics culture to invest in.


I am glad that Memin Pinguin was taken off the Walmart shelves. Whatever its pedigree in Mexico, I really don't think it has a place here.

It's just that before we pat our backs a little too firmly over how much more "PC" we are in America than Mexican comic book readers, we need to revisit our own past as well. To defend the golden age Ebony White or exaggerated portrayals of Asians in wartime comics or blatant sexism in a variety of comic books on the basis of "nostalgia" and "a more innocent time" (a tactic that, as I get older, I'm having less and less patience for) and then condemn Memin Pinguin as racist is hypocrisy.

Yes, Will Eisner was a genius and awesome, but in the 1940s he used the stereotypical pop-cultural shorthand of the day to design the look and character of Ebony White. So did the creator of Memin Pinguin. The thing to do now is to acknowledge the past and create something far better in the present.

Where I Will Be At San Diego Comic Con This Year

Well, since it's up on Heidi's blog (as well as I guess the convention's site), might as well...

If you want to see me at SDCC this year (outside of any theoretical OS meetup I might come up with), please be sure to visit:

SUNDAY, JULY 27
WHAT: Women in Marvel Panel
WHEN: 10:30am – 11:30am
WHERE: Room 6A
THE 411: She-Hulk and Ms. Marvel are powerhouses in the Marvel U, now meet the real women powerhouses who work in Marvel Comics today! Writers Robin Furth (DARK TOWER) & Marjorie Liu (NYX), Jen Grunwald (Editor), colorist Christina Strain (RUNAWAYS), and Occasional Superheroine’s Valerie D’Orazio are here to answer your question about their titles, announce new projects, and explain how more women are breaking into comics every day!

I know you might have questions, right now I can't give you answers -- but be sure to attend this panel and show your support for these talented women in the biz!

Peter Parker: Working At Comic Book Shop

Read "Amazing Spider-Man" #565 yesterday. Have kept up with the title on-and-off since the first couple of arcs of the weekly format, and I thought the current storyline -- featuring a new, female Kraven the Hunter and art by Phil Jimenez -- was a good place to jump back on board and stay on track.

I'll get more into the specifics of the issue another time, but I just wanted to point out that apparently Peter Parker is now working in a comic book shop.

I don't remember if by the end of the issue Parker managed to screw that up too, though the scene starts off with him getting dressed down by his boss.

Also, since the comic book store in question is very close to Union Square in NYC -- might I assume it is some sort of analog for Forbidden Planet, which is also in that area?

I find it a bit ironic that Parker would end up, after all his many exploits and adventures, sticking price labels on old back issues of "Alpha Flight." See, if he didn't make that dumb deal with Mephisto and lost MJ, none of this would have happened.

I want to read Parker's Facebook updates, dammit.

Is "Men At Work" Sexist?

No, not that great 80s band fronted by Colin Hay.

In Atlanta, the government is replacing 50 "Men Working" signs with ones that say "Working Ahead." This is the result of a campaign by Cynthia Good to change the signs -- which she believes are sexist.

The exact phrase Good uses regarding the "Men Working" signs is "subtle forms of discrimination."

My questions to you -- Are these signs sexist? Do you think subtle forms of discrimination have an impact? And, using this logic as a yardstick of what is acceptable, can we (should we) carry this viewpoint into our superhero comics? How would we do that? Should we?

Basically, I think gender equality was a legitimate enough reason to change the signs -- if, as Good says, there were women working along men on those sites, a sign that only recognizes the men seems a little backward.

On the other hand, this is the sort of thing that anti-feminists love to point out as "taking things too far." Doesn't mean I think Good was wrong to campaign to get rid of the original signs. I'm just saying that I know how this sort of thing plays out on Fox News.

Vintage Sexist Ads

Nope, these sexist vintage ads aren't comic book related, but I just started browsing this LiveJournal community and couldn't stop...


"Girls Say Yes To Boys Who Say No"
If you skip Vietnam, boys, these chicks will sleep with you! Because pacifism makes them drop their drawers!


"Put Some Fun Between Your Legs"
One day members of the national bicycle council sat around a table and brainstormed how they could make their products seem more attractive to the fairer sex. And so an ad campaign was born.

"My Man Likes Something Unexpected Now And Then"
And nothing says hot times like cooking rice for your hubby. Not totally sexist per se, but has a nice Stepfordy quality.

"Look Who Reads The Bible"
Why, it's TV's Sonny and Cher! I love the submissive pose Cher (frickin' CHER!) strikes here, and that Sonny is made to look taller than her. Family values.



"So The Harder A Wife Works, THE CUTER SHE LOOKS!"
Okay, honestly, sometimes I get the "you should take your vitamins" speech too. But still...

"It's Nice To Have A Girl Around The House"
No comment.

"Comic Book Babylon"

Ohhhhhh, I'm going to get so killed for posting this, but it's a slow day so what the hell?

One of the many forms my Goodbye To Comics memoir took was a fictional book a la "Primary Colors" called "Comic Book Babylon." It wasn't an adaptation of "GTC" but rather a novel/graphic novel set in the comic book industry with tons of intrigue. I was steered in this direction as an alternative to "GTC" because I could write something very raw but not have it be about real people. I was told to make it like "The Devil Wears Prada," except no Prada.

That said, I've edited out some things from this proposal. Also, the character of Darius Roy, while bit of a pompous individual, does not sexually harass Mary Ann (I've cut the characters involved with that and that part of the storyline out of this posted outline). And of course, all similarities to persons living or dead are coincidental, yadda.

Also, please keep in mind that this outline was "shaped" by persons who were not necessarily me. So it's got that "Hollywoody" veneer. Also, it wasn't a publisher that worked with me on this, but more like "agenty" types.

Without further ado, here's...

Comic Book Babylon

"What Happens In San Diego, Stays In San Diego"

PROPOSAL FOR AN ORIGINAL GRAPHIC NOVEL BY VALERIE D'ORAZIO

HIGH CONCEPT: "The Devil Wears Prada" set in the comic book industry

WHAT THE STORY IS ABOUT:
An expose of the politics and intrigues behind the legendary publisher "Venture Comics" -- as seen through the eyes of Mary Ann Samson, assistant to Venture's editor-in-chief Darius Roy.

WHAT THE STORY IS REALLY ABOUT:
How what we think we want most may turn out not to be the best thing for us.

WHY IT WORKS
"Comic Book Babylon" works on two levels. One, as a scandalous "Behind the Music" type tale of the darker side of the comic book industry that both fans and the larger market will enjoy. And two, as a "David and Goliath" tale of a young woman fighting office politics and ultimately sexism in pursuit of her dreams.

CHARACTERS:

MARY ANN SAMSON: Mary Ann is a perky, naive go-getter fresh out of college who gets her first big break working for Venture Comics's new Editor-In-Chief Darius Roy. A lifelong comic book fan, working for Venture is like a dream come true. But her Pollyanna attitude is severely tested by Darius's Machiavellian handling of the company and the increasingly sexist storylines of its comics.

DARIUS ROY: Darius Roy is an egotistic, Donald Trump like personality whose only concern is the bottom line. Taking over the reigns of Venture from old-school company president Werner Garrison, Darius's main goal is to shift the company from kid-friendly capes-and-tights fare to grim and sensationalistic "adult" storytelling.

WERNER GARRISON: Werner is an old-school comic book fan who gives the reins to the Venture Comics empire to firebrand Darius Roy in a last-ditch effort to save his company and generate new revenue. He is caught in a crisis of conscience when he realizes that while Venture's comics under Darius do indeed sell better, they are morally questionable.


(CUT CHARACTERS)


PLOT SUMMARY:

Mary Ann Samson has dreamt of working in the comic book industry ever since she was a little kid. So when she gets a job fresh out of college as assistant to new Venture Comics Editor-In-Chief Darius Roy, she feels she is on the road to fulfilling her dreams.

Darius has just been appointed to his job by Venture president Werner Garrison, as a last-ditch effort to raise revenue and please their investors. Darius Roy singlemindedly sets out on his mission: to change Venture Comics's reputation from kid-friendly producer of capes-and-tights yarns to publishers of grim and gritty "adult" superhero comics and thus compete with their main rival Gear Comics. To this end, he initiates sweeping changes to all the Venture comic books as well as firing any staff that disagrees with his approach or is deemed too "old-school."

While Mary Ann initially enjoys her job and is dazzled by the idea that she's helping produce the comics she loved so much as a child, she starts to become disillusioned. The content of the Venture titles become more and more violent and risque, and the portrayal of women increasingly sexualized. Mary Ann timidly raises some objections to Darius but he explains to her that this is the "Real World" -- sex sells, big fish eat little fish, and the sentimental and nice get left behind.

(CUT PARAGRAPHS)

...Mary Ann is filled with self-loathing, gets really drunk, and spends a good deal of time in the washroom vomiting.

(CUT PARAGRAPHS)

...Mary Ann decides to take out her frustration by writing a short story called "Comic Book Babylon" which allows her to vent on everything that has just happened. She has no intention of publishing it, but e-mails the text to a friend as a lark. Within a week the e-mail has bounced back to her with thousands of CCs on it. Her friend forwarded "Comic Book Babylon" to a friend, and the whole thing spread like wildfire

Post-Script: Mary Ann ended up staying in the industry writing women-friendly comic books. Werner regained control of his company after the "Comic Book Babylon" episode and retconned the rape of Captain Virtue's girlfriend out of existence. And as for Darius Roy? Well, he's still making lots and lots of money.

CONCLUSION: If you had to choose between material rewards and doing what you knew deep in your gut was right, what would YOU do? That question is ultimately at the heart of "Comic Book Babylon," using one of America's most beloved and enduring forms of entertainment as its backdrop.

***

postscript: after several very enthusiastic sessions regarding this book proposal, the people I was working with suddenly changed on a dime and told me that it wouldn't be advisable to go ahead with the project, because even if I made it fiction, people would know who I was writing about. there was also an admittance of being friends with someone very connected to the story -- which made me flabbergasted that they wanted to go approach me with this book in the first place! but rather than just saying they had cold feet -- which given the circumstances I understand -- I was told that "Goodbye To Comics" was "not a story people would have any interest in," and was unsellable. I was encouraged instead to do "nicer" projects. And that -- that was annoying and a waste of my time.

But live and learn.

Comics Spirit Update

And just a quick update on my blog project "Comics Spirit" --

Most of the posts are written, I just need to scan the art in and put it together. Hoping for Monday launch. Torn between using Blogger (on which I can put ze ads) or Wordpress (which will look really awesome but no ads).

Just to recap, "Comics Spirit" is a blog that will celebrate the independent voice in comics, as well as classic work from comics past.

The OS Library: What Do You Want To See Most?

With my discovery of this nifty new app that lets you turn your LiveJournal and Wordpress entries into PDFs you can print as books, I've decided to get my huge backlog of writing, art, etc. up on this format and out to the world.

Now, the proviso in all this is that a lot of this stuff, especially the more personal stuff, might be just completely self-indulgent. Which will not stop me from throwing it up there (with the necessary edits to protect the innocent and guilty), because God knows I've reveled in enough self-indulgent stuff from other people. There's a market for it. And maybe some of it would actually be good.

Here's what I have:

1. Memoirs -- now really, I ought to get this to a publisher. That said, I have a whole manuscript that's finished (actually, several versions that have to be stitched together). In theory, I could just plop it onto LiveJournal, PDF it, sell it through Lulu.com, and pay off some of my bills (see, I'm writing out this not just for you but so I can figure this all out and come up with bright ideas).

2. "The Road To Goodbye To Comics" visual diary -- I kept an art journal in the months leading up to Goodbye To Comics that, in retrospect, might be kind of interesting to look at. It's mostly collage art, mixed media. A lot of comic book mashups -- taking old comics and blending them into other photos and text. I forgot how many pages, but basically most of a full-size spiral art journal.

3. Poetry -- Good God. There is so much of this. It's all I did in my late teens/early twenties. It's like a mix between Beat Poetry and Sylvia Plath on lots of Frappacinos and Nyquil.

4. Vampire Novel -- same thing as my memoirs. Already have a first pass on edits from a friend of mine. Could dump it into LiveJournal and PDF it in time for Halloween.

5. Dream diaries -- I have no idea if anybody would want to sit down and peruse all of this, but we are talking more than 10,000 separate dream entries from 1992-present. And then it gets weird.

6. Prose -- old comic pitches from when I was 15, short stories, one-pagers, plays, etc.

7. Best Of OS -- best posts collection, a la Peter David (not saying I'm as good as Peter David)

8. Pop-Culture essays -- tons, mostly term papers for college and some early online columns. On comics, literature, horror films, and pop-culture in general.

9. Philosophical/metaphysical works -- Oy. But all I'm saying is -- it's there. If Grant Morrison can write and publish this shit, I don't see why I can't.

10. Tons more art -- Tons. Mostly pop-culture mashups.

11. Comic strips -- I actually have a small collection of comic strips I used to do. I really thought I was going to be a cartoonist, not a writer.

So that's the basic list of what I have that's finished and ready to be PDFed. I mean, some of it has to be typed in or scanned. But, it's just sitting there.

I think I should just go for it.

Censored Star Trek Episode Finally Sees Light Of Day

A "Star Trek The Next Generation" script written by "Trouble With Tribbles" scribe David Gerrold will finally be produced -- by the fans.

The Star Trek fan-film series Phase II has shot the script "Blood And Fire" -- sans special effects -- and will unveil the episode at the Shore Leave 30 science fiction convention tomorrow in Baltimore.

Gerrold's original script was nixed by "Next Generation" producers because it dealt with homosexuality and AIDS. Specifically, the episode featured gay crew members and dealt with, in Gerrold's words, "a plague so horrible that Starfleet had issued standing orders not to attempt rescue of any infected ship but to destroy it immediately."

Phase II continues stories based on the five-year mission of the Starship Enterprise, and its webisodes average around 5 million hits a month.

It makes me almost want to haul my ass over to Baltimore tomorrow to see this.

(via The Baltimore Sun)

Photos: The Mexican Immigrant Worker As Superhero

I just ran into these awesome photos by artist Dulce Pinzón that portray real Mexican immigrant workers as superheroes at their actual jobs. So Catwoman is a nanny, Mr. Fantastic is a waiter, and Aquaman works at...a fish market.

From the site:

"The Mexican immigrant worker in New York is a perfect example of the hero who has gone unnoticed. It is common for a Mexican worker in New York to work extraordinary hours in extreme conditions for very low wages which are saved at great cost and sacrifice and sent to families and communities in Mexico who rely on them to survive."

These photos will be on display at the National Museum of Mexican Art in Chicago in an exhibit called "Declaration of Immigration."

Is Peanuts "Over The Hill?"

A letter writer to the Northwest Herald complained recently about the inclusion of "Peanuts" reprints in the funnies section:

"The Northwest Herald would never think of running op-ed pieces more than a half century old, or anything else for that matter. I love Peanuts – Charlie Brown, Snoopy and the gang – but it’s time to put that old dog to sleep. Give another cartoonist a chance, and save the classics for the bookstore."

Specifically at issue are the occasional older pop-cultural references to persons like Sam Snead and things like (I would assume) "Hi-Fi," Davy Crockett hats, etc.

Personally, I think most of "Peanuts" is timeless -- but when reprinting the strips in national newspapers, I have no problem leaving out some of the more topical strips that might be too obscure for the general audience (perhaps that is rather Philistine of me, but that's how I feel).

What do you think?

(With a tip of the hat to Journalista)

When Batman Met The Joker

Val Kilmer talked recently about meeting Heath Ledger and said that he discovered a "soulmate" of sorts with the late actor, Contact Music reports. Kilmer said:

"He was very proud of having quit drinking. We were in a nasty smoke-filled club and I was drinking water and Heath's like, 'Hey, you're drinking water,' and I'm like, 'Yeah, you're drinking water too,' and he was excited about drinking water. He said he hadn't had a drink in about a year."

What do you think, Kilmer's Batman facing off against Ledger's Joker?

I always kinda liked Val Kilmer as Batman. At first, in "Batman Forever," he seemed a little miscast. But he was pretty good in the role. It was that damn Chris O'Donnell thing that killed it for me. ("Will you adopt me, Mr. Val Kilmer? I'm a 25-year-old teenager with a past and a motorcycle.")





Also, his name is "Val," which is a plus.

Things I Like To Do When Nobody Is Looking

10. Listen to the Steve Miller Band's "The Joker" and sing along.

9. Pull the skin back under my eyes to simulate a face lift.

8. Maniacally hit "refresh" on my stat counters to see the numbers move.

7. Read Mark Millar's "Fantastic Four."

6. Wrap a washcloth or shirt around my cat's head like a kerchief and say "you're an old washerwoman, you're an old washerwoman."

5. Watch "Date Movie."

4. Pull out my old poetry from when I was in college and reassure myself, "you were a fucking genius."

3. Type normal words on Google Image Search with "Safe Search" off and see what sort of depravity shows up.

2. Eat the crispy noodles that came with our Chinese food that I'm not supposed to eat.

1. Doodle pictures of my boyfriend with hearts and rainbows in the background. Sometimes I add unicorns. Sometimes I give the doodles to him, but not the ones with the unicorns.

Open Forum!

From retronomatopeya Flickr photostream

Peeps, I have traveled the various comic blogs and sites, and have come dry in terms of ideas to blog about. Yes: I have Blogger's Block.

So I am opening things up to You The People.

Somebody start a cool topic? Anybody have a gripe? Anybody read a good book lately?

How are you feeling? What's your Facebook status?

Last Minute To San Diego Again?

Flashback to last year:
"Honey, next year I'm definitely NOT doing this last-minute again. We're going to book our hotel room early, I'm gonna get my tickets early, everything early."

This year:
"Oh God. Oh God...oh God."

I might have to pop into SDCC for a day this year, maybe two. This wasn't planned, but you know what they say: planning is for the weak. True adventurers throw their fates to the wind and sleep on friend's floors.

But if I indeed go, I have vowed to visit the zoo. As I said last year: "On one day I'm just going to visit the zoo and cultural places of interest. No comics."

I will know by the end of the week if I'm really going or not. But, really scrambling here. And have to break up my vacation because originally I was slated to go to Tampa and see my newborn nephew. So it'll be like: "Hellooooo San Diego! Goodbyeeeee San Diego! Hellooooooo Nephew!" But I can buy my nephew that Fin Fang Foom SDCC exclusive set of Marvel Legends action figures, so it's all going to work out.

I'll take pictures, don't worry. And don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be going. But next year -- screw next year, in September, I'm going to book my hotel, my tickets, have my registration ready, everything. Seriously. You can hold me to it.

UPDATE: Yes, I am definitely going to SDCC now. My thanks to all who did the scramble. I think it shall be worth it.

Sharks With Frickin Laser Beams Strapped To Their Heads

/slow news day.

Jim Mahfood Colt 45 Beer Can Controversy

Yes, Jim Mahfood's designer beer cans for perennial malt liquor fave Colt 45 are the new "Joe Camel," according to critics who feel the "comic book" type designs are meant to appeal to young people.

My take? Well... the depicted beer drinkers on the cans and the site do look like teenagers, at first glance. Maybe they need disclaimers like on illustrated Internet porn where it says "all depicted persons really of legal age."

Misses the old days of responsible beer advertising:

(via Comics Reporter)

Ditmas Park Tales: Coffeehouse Spy

My Brooklyn neighborhood, in which I have spent a good deal of my life, boasts stretches of treeless depressed areas that are truly awful. I've tried to see the good in them -- some sense of quaintness -- but I really can't. It cannot be psychologically healthy for any person to live among some of those surroundings. And these lifeless patches of spare residential buildings, a myriad of disjointed storefronts, and sidewalks that seem to permanently host the aroma of ancient garbage, are surrounded by the most beautiful Victorian-styled houses and verdant walkways that you can possibly imagine. I live in a schizoid neighborhood, one in which I have, up until about six months ago, lived on the "wrong" side of.

A fancy restaurant opened up across the street from my block. The storefront used to be a candy store I remember frequenting in my youth, buying Marino ices and bubblegum cards. Then that candy store was either set on fire or simply abandoned outright, I cannot recall which. I just remember it as a shell, on the edge of where the Victorian houses began, a border between two worlds that people would visit at night to dump their garbage illegally in front of.

But, now it's a fancy restaurant. Suddenly, my neighborhood, according to some magazines and websites, is "hip." Though some reviews of the restaurant in question describe the trip along the same lines of a stealth mission inside some sort of war zone, barely hiding their disgust at having to "brave" the visit (even if it's for some damn fine steak).

If my neighborhood continues to travel down the road of hipness, the rents will eventually go up. How do these gentrification things go, exactly? Quickly? Incrementally?

What happens to the literally hundreds of little children who cover those dry streets on a summer afternoon, and the ones who play in the hallways of my building because the parents think it's dangerous for them to play outside? Kids who ride their bikes and play ball in the narrow tiled hallway of my building? (My parents did the same thing with me.)

There has to be some healing done in that neighborhood. It can't just be that the developers go in, create the hipster bars and boutiques, the native residents get pushed to the borders, and *poof!* we get another Williamsburg.

Oh sure, every once in a while the neighborhood development association hosts a little fair for the children, and they play folk music and make little balloon animals for them and paint their faces. And they hang flyers and banners about developing the neighborhood, about bringing in new business.

Development is all well and good. The question is, with all the new money coming in, is there going to be any positive impact on the poorer people in that community?

I'll be honest, I feel like people, young and old, are being left behind in this scenario. A fraction of them will eventually have the money to leave on their own steam, but a bunch are going to be left behind.

See, I hang out with the newer residents of my neighborhood, I dine where they dine, I sip expensive coffee where they sip, I type at my Macbook in their coffeehouses -- but I'm really a spy, a double-agent. I'm a native, you see. And not from the verdant walkways --but from the dry sidewalks and patchwork storefronts. I've quietly watched this neighborhood on and off for 30+ years. I'm in the middle of a transformation, just as this area is. I could, in the name of "evolution," leave a bunch of things behind, make a clean break.

I could. But, there will be ghosts.

The questions: why am I still there? why did I live this this odd existence on the borders, between cultures? what ties me to that place? what do I have to do to leave? can I leave one day and have that world, over time, fall out of my memory -- as has happened with the rest of my family, who see the area as a collection of trivia? isn't it the right thing to do? to develop and leave?

There is something about the stories from that area -- observed and my own -- that compel me, that replay in my mind, that are listed in my brain like the chapters of Edith Hamilton's Mythology.

When you're a little child, you don't realize you are growing up in a depressed area. You don't really see the graffiti, or if you do, you think it is simply the natural texture of your environment.

Related links:
Memoirs Of An Occasional Superheroine Part Four
Bad Comic Shop
Tales Of The Bad Comic Shop: King Of The Silver Age

Hancock!

You will believe a man's head can be literally shoved up another man's ass. Oh yes, you will believe.

Top Ten Partners Of Captain America

To celebrate Independence Day, we're giving you the top ten partners (official and unofficial) of Captain America.

10. Paladin














9. D-Man




















8. Diamondback



















7. Hawkeye























6. Black Widow























5. Battlestar























4. Nomad























3. Sharon Carter















2. Falcon























1. Bucky
















Other links of interest:

Five Cool Captain America Video Clips
A Question For All The Toy Enthusiasts In The Audience
Captain America's Shield In Iron Man Movie?

Joker Toys: Then And Now

Somebody pointed this out on a Fark thread about Heath Ledger in Dark Knight, and I just had to bring it up:

Joker toy when I was a kid:























Joker toy now:
























Which generation had/has the cooler toys?

Cartoon Network Targets Boys (Because Girls Don't Watch Cartoons)

Cartoon Network's "Ben 10" has a strong female character
-- why wouldn't girls want to watch this?

So this Variety article discusses Cartoon Network's new game plan: target young male viewers:

"Turner Animation prexy Stu Snyder and Rob Sorcher, Cartoon's recently hired chief content officer, have set their sights on male teens and tweens in their sweeping overhaul of the cabler.

They're hoping to stanch the flow of young viewers leaving the network for Disney and Nick, but they're also trying to rebuild the net as "the home for boys," in Snyder's words (though he quickly adds that he hopes the female aud sticks around for shows like Cartoon's new comedy "Chowder")."

"We need a cartoon for girls."

"I know...CHOWDER!"

"Brilliant!"

Chowder: for girls because it has teh pink bunnehs

There are several things about Cartoon Network's strategy here that I'm going to respectfully quibble with.

First, the assumption that their "boy-targeted" shows like Clone Wars, Ben 10, and Batman are only enjoyed by boys. As far as I've been able to observe, these are shows with an appeal to both genders. These are shows that appeal to children who like fun.

Second, to be a cartoon cable network and mostly focus on male viewers -- which is the impression I'm getting from this article -- is kind of shortsighted. There is nothing inherent in animated television programming that suggests girls are attracted to it less than boys. This is, as far as I know, a genderless medium.

And even if you want to make the argument that little girls want more Barbie-type stuff and boys want more Batman-type stuff (I'm not saying this is true, but this might be the argument made by the marketing department) -- go make a Barbie cartoon! Go make a My Little Pony remake. Go make an American Girl CGI cartoon where it looks like the dolls themselves are animated.


These are just suggestions.

(with a hat tip to A Boy Named Art for the post idea)

Holy Crap, It's The Question

According to the Daily Mail, "faceless aliens" are showing up at public events in the UK:


Are they really aliens? Those characters from that Doctor Who episode, perhaps?

(either political protest or viral marketing campaign. probably the latter. trust me.)

The WTF Quote Of The Day

"J Torres, Sean McKeever, Tony Bedard, and Terry Moore shouldn't be typecast as the guy writers that you hire when you can't find a chick. They can do any gender."

--Beau Smith, "Busted Knuckles" Column

Several questions:

1) Are these writers really typecast as such?

2) Is this news to them?

3) What does "the guy writers when you can't find a chick" mean?

4) In what circumstance do comic book companies look for "chick" writers, in this context? That wasn't made clear. Are we referring to comic books starring vaginas? Or just books with sensitive male characters in them? Or, best of all -- books with vaginas AND sensitive men in them?

5) Does a book like "Birds Of Prey" -- which I'm sure is part of what Smith is referring to here -- fairly demand a "chick" writer?

6) Is there some sort of "shame" attached to being a male writer who writes stories starring women? Where does that leave the Hernandez Brothers? Are they just pussies? Are they just toiling away in Chickland until they land their big break on The Avengers?

7) Would the world be a better place if Terry Moore was writing Punisher War Journal? Would that prove that he was a manly writer?

You know, I've been asked many many times -- especially since my involvement with Friends Of Lulu -- what the state of women writing in mainstream comics is.

It's not huge.

But, it's getting better. Step by step.

Any way you look at it, can the comic companies win?

If they put out books starring women that are not written by women, they are criticized for being sexist and "not trying hard enough" to seek out female talent.

If they put out books starring women that are specifically written by women, then they are criticized for "tokenism," of "pigeonholing" the female talent.

If a male writer keeps writing books about women -- or books that might be perceived as having an appeal to a female audience -- it's like they did something wrong, or are not "good" enough, or are not "manly" enough.

And, I'm sure, if a woman wrote a strictly action book, they'd be counting the bullets to gauge just how "actiony" the book really was. Any sensitive moments? "She's writing a chick book!" "She's cutting off Green Lantern's penis!" "She's turning Thor into a Lifetime TV movie!"

There is no shame in writing a "chick" story, regardless of your gender. It's not a scarlet letter.

There are certain male writers who write female characters rather poorly -- and there are some who handle them better than some female writers can do with the same characters. And, if given the chance, I know there is some female writer out there who can write the best goddamn Spider-Man you've ever read.

And really, I see the frequent shuffling of talent on books like Supergirl & Birds Of Prey as far more being about an unstable editorial department than a plot to "typecast" Bedard, McKeever, etc. as "chick writers."

And I understand that, by distancing them from "chick books," Smith was trying to "help" these writers -- but he's really kinda not.

Sort Of Looks Like Val Kilmer...

No? Not Val Kilmer? Maybe the chin?

...

Val Kilmer!

Facebook Tells Me I'm Fat

ad on my Facebook profile page with the tagline,
"34 Yr Old Female Overweight?"
(I'm 34)

Okay, I've just seen my third different "are you in your mid-thirties and overweight" ad on the sidebar of my Facebook profile. This is really starting to piss me off. What sort of "cookies" do they have to target me for these ads?

I'm serious -- three totally different ads with variations of the "in your thirties and need to lose weight" pitch, plus pictures of flabby stomachs:


So how are they targeting these ads? Telepathy? Are they hiring the people from those top-secret Russian psychic experiments as ad targeters for Facebook? Is that it?

Of course, these ads are rotated with "order all the food you want from the comfort of your home" ads:
/going to the gym after work, doesn't need this shit.

New Comics Wednesday!

You know, looking at this handy New Comics List, I can't help but notice Avatar's variant cover program for their Night Of The Living Dead Annual:

Night of the Living Dead Annual #1, $4.99
Night Of The Living Dead Annual #1 (Gore Cover), $4.99
Night Of The Living Dead Annual #1 (LA Convention Edition), $5.99
Night Of The Living Dead Annual #1 (Painted Cover), $4.99
Night Of The Living Dead Annual #1 (Rotting Cover), $4.99
Night Of The Living Dead Annual #1 (Terror Cover), $4.99
Night of the Living Dead Annual #1 (Vows Cover), $5.99

They actually have separate "rotting," "terror," and "gore" variant covers. The "vows" cover is probably a wedding edition.

Water Baby from Minx is coming out today, and as I've mentioned earlier on this blog, it's worth taking a look at. Basically, forget about it being a supposed "manga-sized teen book for girls" and just buy it on its merits as a graphic novel. It's hard to get entire OGNs of this quality for under $10 anymore, so it's worth taking the chance.

Strange & Stranger: The World Of Steve Ditko from Fantagraphics also hits the stands today. As I've blogged about earlier in the week, the parts in the book about Ditko and Spider-Man are crucial to understanding the history of the webhead (is webhead hyphenated? capitalized?)

Also picking up:
Squadron Supreme 2 #1 - Marvel Comics
Patsy Walker Hellcat #1 - Marvel Comics
Lucky Vol. 2, #2 - Drawn and Quarterly

And what comics will YOU be purchasing this fine balmy Wednesday?

The Batman TV Series Screen Tests

Now, here's an interesting comparison: two nearly identical screen tests for the 1960s Batman TV series. One features the familiar team of Adam West and Burt Ward, and one is Lyle Waggoner (who would later play Steve Trevor on Wonder Woman) and Peter Deyell.

West/Ward


Waggoner/Deyell


Waggoner, in many ways, is clearly a more apt choice to play Batman/Bruce Wayne. With his chiseled good looks and perfectly swept-up jet black hair he looks like he practically walked out of a Bob Kane comic book. His delivery is also far more natural and something we'd expect to see in a typical action TV show.

In contrast, West's performance is -- as far as I can tell -- unintentionally hammy. He shares with William Shatner a very strange method of reciting lines, with pregnant pauses in unusual places.

And yet -- had Waggoner been cast, the 1960s Batman TV show would have probably been more of a footnote in broadcast history than an influential phenomenon.

It was West's oddness -- and, one might say, even sincerity -- that won out.

Bonus: "...and when poor Mrs. Cooper finds out what you were really doing on those supposed fishing trips...the blow will kill her!"

Best "Garfield Minus Garfield" Ever

So spot-on brilliant I can hardy imagine Jim Davis intending it any other way.

Garfield Minus Garfield

RE: Keeping Batman Year 100 Out Of "Best American Comics"

Article here.

My thoughts: good God!

What did DC's "one line formal refusal letter" referred to by Paul Pope say?

"Our Comix Iz Not Art, They R Licensing Cash Cow"

Remember back when they had this:


Could you have something like that now with DC characters? I would think the inclusion of work like Pope's "Batman Year 100" in a prestigious mainstream collection would only help DC and sales of the trade paperback. This sends a message to other publishers who might want to approach DC for similar "best of" collections -- and a message to other comic creators how their work is handled when such requests are made.

Anyway...

Holy Missed Opportunity, Batman!

(just had to say it)

When I Was A Chubby Twentysomething Goth

Me at 23 (or so) at Chiller Theatre with
"Carnival Of Souls" star Candace Hilligoss

Favorite colors: purple, black, and black

Note 1: Gothic culture is most probably far more textured and deep than I am making it sound in this post. Please keep in mind that this was my personal interpretation of "Goth" when I was in my mid-20s, not any standard definition.

Note 2: Most real Goths would not consider me a real Goth, partially because I thought Marilyn Manson was real Goth music (a point revealed to me in angry message board debates). Only began to hear real Goth music when I was no longer a Goth; by that point, I had also found ironic satisfaction in Britney Spears music, so I was too far gone.


Note 3: Far too old, perhaps, even at 22 to be a real Goth but simply a poseur? Or was I cool? I think I might have been kind of geeky.

Note 4: Phase was preceded by "Spiritual Hippie Who Buys Buddha T-Shirts From Old Navy And Stoner Necklaces From Hot Topic."

Note 5: Phase followed by "Nondescript Chubby Comic Book Company Assistant Who Eats Lemon-Frosted Pound Cake As A Substitute For Joy."


Favorite Movies As A Chubby Twentysomething Goth:
* The Craft
* The Crow
* Interview With The Vampire (seriously)

Too Hardcore For Delicate Flower Me:
Nightmare On Elm Street (it was mean! and ugly!)

Favorite TV Shows:
* Buffy The Vampire Slayer
* X-Files (only Mulder/Scully shipper episodes!)
* Kindred: The Embraced (obscure!)
* Wolf Lake (more obscure, never really watched it but said I did just to seem hardcore)

Websites I Could Be Found Lurking At:
* Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fan Fiction Sites
* Sites hosting shitty vampire clip art so I could build my own homepage on AOL
* Proto-MySpace type communities with shitty vampire clip art


Hobbies:
* Getting dissed by 13-year-olds for Buffy fic I wrote (if you want to talk "continuity hounds"...)
* Drying roses until they turned black
* Endlessly browsing through the two Goth shops I knew but never buying anything (except for that one day I bought a postcard)

Defining Moments Of Disillusionment:
One Goth shop turned into a punk store, and one shop closed down. And then my little sister said: "Goth is dead, Val! God!"

Biggest Regret: Never did the Masquerade RPG


What I Almost Did: Linked to my repository of old Goth fan-fiction that is still online. But I took one look at it and wised up. Sorry.

Final Comments On The Subject:
I had a good time. That's what's important.

Worst Wonder Woman TV Show Ever

After the success of "Batman," TV execs in the 1960s had this brilliant idea: all you needed to do to handle superheroes on the small screen was to be campy. Hence television shows like Mr. Terrific and Captain Nice. And this Wonder Woman pilot.

Made by the producers of "Batman," this version of Wonder Woman featured a nebbishy "old maid" (at 27) who was nagged by her mother. Basically, a female version of Woody Allen was this Wonder Woman character.

It's unbearable. Now, go watch it.