Aaron Lopresti Signs With DC

Well, holy f**king s**t.

"After helping to give the look to Planet Hulk and Ms. Marvel at Marvel for the past few years, artist Aaron Lopresti is packing his bags and moving across town. The artist and DC have confirmed that Lopresti has signed an exclusive with the company, and his first work (yet unnamed) will appear in early 2008."

I'm a big Ms. Marvel fan, so this is pretty earth-shaking news for me.

"While he was naming names, Lopresti picked one out at DC to cite as the main reason for his move from Marvel to DC: Dan DiDio."

Doh!

And what about Lopresti's unnamed DC project?

"Well, I’m under the impression that it will be fun to draw and it probably fits within the context of what most people would expect me to be doing,” Lopresti said."

So it probably has a chick in it.

(counts off on fingers):

Batgirl? Supergirl?

Supergirl?

(thinks)

Power Girl?

And who will the new artist be on Ms. Marvel?

Occasional Reviews: One More Day Of Reviews

Sensational Spider-Man #41
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Artists: Joe Quesada & Danny Miki

I don't think this third part of "One More Day" is terrible. I think it's just a bit "Deus Ex Machina."

Questions:

1. After all he's been through, doesn't Peter Parker know that making a deal with Mephisto is a Bad Idea?

2. After all he's been through, hasn't Peter learned enough about life that he can accept his aged aunt's death...or at least not make a deal with the DEVIL to save her, a deal that will destroy all the potentiality he can have with his wife? Is there any balance at all between the Past and the Future with this guy? The death of an elderly close relative is awful...but would you contaminate the life of your spouse with a deal with essentially Satan to bring this relative back? You don't know what's going to happen. Mephisto could turn Mary Jane into a Nerf Ball and drop kick her into the pit of Tartarus?

3. Wouldn't May be absolutely horrified and disgusted that Peter could even THINK of doing this?

4. Out of ALL the intelligent & superpowered & cosmic beings Spidey has befriended over the years, is Meph is the best he can do in terms of help?

That said, I fear that in the tizzy about "OMD" what will be overlooked is Joe Quesada's art. He has obviously poured his heart into drawing this story. There are many touching moments, like Peter talking to his Daughter That Will Never Be -- simply beautiful, tender characterizations of this young girl. And Loser Peter -- overweight, alone, and with his head in a text book. Just the ultimate look of regret on his face -- it's the type of art that communicates more in one wistful panel than the whole issue of Straczynski's scripting.

But it is in his renderings of Mephisto that Quesada's work really shines. It is the sort of detailed, powerful linework that takes a lot of care and enthusiasm to execute.

So it's a 50/50 with me. I find this a beautiful book to flip through. The story is a little weak.

And if I was MJ on this story, I'd be slapping Peter in the face and saying: "HE'S THE FRICKING DEVIL! WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?"

Because you know Lois would have done that.

Rating:
Story: C
Art: A

Teen Titans #53
Writer: Sean McKeever
Art: Eddy Barrows & Rob Hunter

I don't blame McKeever for this issue. Or the ones before it.

There is no consistent voice, no consistent artist, and no consistent direction on this book. These are all, ultimately, editorial concerns.

I tried to give Teen Titans a chance for four issues. But I feel as if I have read the same fight scene over and over again.

Are things going to get better? Should I spend another $2.99 on this title?

I really want to know.

Rating: C-


Archibald Saves Christmas
Writer: Dwight L. Macpherson
Artist: Grant Bond

This quirky holiday one-shot by Image Comics was a pleasant little diversion. Mickey prototype Archibald Aardvark has a nasty habit of being connected to horrible bloody murders. He meets Santa. Hilarity ensues. Rendered in a classic animation style punctuated by grainy film-stock effects and bright splashes of red. I laughed too much at inappropriate times with this one.

Rating: B+

Congratulations!

Yay!

I knew you could do it and I'm so happy for you. You worked so hard for this and you really deserve it.

Fangirl Fridays: Down With Marriage?

In part 3 of the "One More Day" Spider-Man event, Mephisto tells Peter Parker: "I want your marriage."

That's a strange request. Wouldn't it make more sense to just kill Spidey himself and thus open the door to more unchecked evildoing? Why is Peter's marriage to MJ such a precious commodity?

To say that "OMD" is merely part of an anti-marriage agenda in comics is simplifying things way too much. I think the predicament presented by "OMD" illustrates the tug-of-war in the hearts of many married people in this society.

This society largely informs us, through its popular culture, that the personal responsibilty and self-sacrifice involved in the insititution of marriage is a cultural dinosaur and the extension of a Christian guilt-trip. Pop-psychology books and New Age gurus stress the importance of tending to the needs of the Self above all else. Aging celebrities regularly dump their spouses and "trade up." And God isn't even dead, because he doesn't exist at all.

But despite all this, "OMD" has curiously religious overtones. Mephisto is, after all, a representation of the Devil. The Devil is largely a Christian concept. Through attacking Peter & MJ's marriage, he is attacking the very institution of marriage.

And rumor is, he wins.

And Peter will get a chance to date again -- to have many adventures in crime-fighting and romance. And who wouldn't envy the choices available to him? Maybe Gwen will make a comeback. There's always Black Cat. Maybe he can date one of the X-Men -- if Black Panther can do it, I'm sure he can.

And when it's all over, in several years, maybe Peter will get lonely, sentimental. Maybe he will want to settle down again. Maybe he will crave some sort of stability. Maybe that biological need to continue his arachnid-infected DNA will crop up. Who knows? And then he'll think about it and think about it and then he'll break down and once again marry MJ. Or maybe the "reset" button will simply get hit again.

And then, in a few more years, the whole marriage thing will be "boring" again.

This is a common cycle. Many marriages don't survive it. Many more will continue on with some form of infidelity. Pop-culture is not at fault, but it also isn't completely off-the-hook. Values -- considered another "dinosaur" concept by many -- plays a big part. When you're standing at the precipice of a big decision that will impact the rest of your life -- and maybe that of those closest to you -- it's funny what stray thoughts or memories will be crucial.

Should superhero comics reflect the actual or ideal values of a society? By presenting these characters as "heroes," does that necessarily mean that they should convey some sort of values that might be considered "heroic" by society?


Is the idea of a man or woman who sacrifices some of his or her needs to put towards the greater good of their family considered heroic? Is that sort of self-sacrifice necessary for the greater good of society? Or if, as Christopher Hitchens and so many other authors write, God is merely a delusion -- why should these people sacrifice anything at all? For what?

When we die, is that it? Do we have an accounting at all for our actions? If there is no God, and no afterlife, shouldn't we get what's good right now? If the sex isn't great in your marriage, shouldn't you just move on and get some better sex so that you don't "miss out" before you die? Do you want to be like Sally Brown in the pumpkin patch and miss Halloween and candy and games and stuff?

Wouldn't it be great to have a "reset" button?

I believe that the core value of sacrificing of one's wants for the greater good of one's spouse and child to be very heroic. I believe that the parent who goes into their 9 to 5 every day with the monkeysuit and the briefcase so their children can have proper health insurance is very heroic. I think withstanding the temptation to stray in order to keep stability in the family is very heroic. I think these are the everyday heroic things that go unnoticed by society -- and not only goes unnoticed but is often sneered at.

Who will champion these people? If comics is a part of our present-day secular mythology/religion -- a substitute for the organized religion that is so much under attack and "shown" to be quaint and irrelevant -- where are the role models for the adults who have to raise families and try to balance budgets in this rotten economy and struggle daily with their own sexual temptations?

I don't believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible, I don't believe that homosexuality is wrong, I don't believe that good people go to a "hell" because they don't follow the same religion as somebody else. But I do believe in some basic values -- like trust in relationships, devotion, and sacrifice in order for the next generation to survive. I also believe in a God. And I believe that there is an accounting of some sort for our actions in this life.

Is marriage coming under attack in comic books? Is this a good thing? Does this help? Is it entertaining? Is the function of superhero comic books to present an idealized view of a fantasy world where we get everything we want -- a place for sheer escape? Does the inclusion of marriage spoil that? Or does entertainment hold any social responsibility at all? Or is the idea of "social responsibility" gauche to even mention in the same breath as "entertainment?"


Did the family-affirming message of the movie The Incredibles spoil an otherwise entertaining film? Was Mr. Incredible a chump for not sleeping with Mirage? In a finite, godless world, wouldn't it have benefitted him to have a bit of fresh meat? Look how fat he got as a dad and husband. Marriage ruined everything. He couldn't be a hero anymore.

But the point was, he was a hero even before he put on the capes and tights again. He was a hero when he worked at that damn health insurance company -- because he was trying to support his family. It's an important message. People need to hear messages like that...at least as much as hearing messages about newly-single playboy superheroes.

The Annotated "Countdown To Final Crisis Preview"

Just read this on Wizard Universe. Couldn't help myself.

"...newly minted story consultant Keith Giffen."
-- Thank God.

"According to Solomon, the rabble-rousing, “evil” Monitor, the Crisis Wave comes after the multiverse suffers several assaults (see Countdown #26), but the Final Crisis has yet to be defined. With everyone from Joker’s Daughter, Monarch and Bob the Monitor’s Challengers of the Unknown using the multiverse as their own personal travel nexus, could the Crisis Wave be the exact event that Countdown is counting down to?"
-- see, my brain is already inundated with obscurity and mumbo-jumbo. This makes me yearn for the simplicity of Evil Superboy punching a hole in time.

"Word’s been spreading that the time-displaced Karate Kid’s involvement with characters like Buddy Blank will directly cause the looming Great Disaster."
-- what is the big boner for retro characters like Karate Kid? This is the equivalent of Mark-Paul Gosselaar from "Saved By The Bell" accidentally pushing the nuke button and being responsible for the end of Life As We Know It.

"Ever since Lightray blew up all over him in Countdown #48, Jimmy’s been displaying some very familiar powers. "Basically, it’s all the cool powers he displayed over the years in some wonderfully kooky Silver Age stories,” writer Tony Bedard points out." --Oh no, watch out for Giant Snapping Turtle Olsen! The irony that the one character DiDio pointed out as the reason why DC was considered "corny" is the most important character in his event is not lost on me.

"Jimmy Olsen is a key figure in the Fourth World’s passing, probably a more critical figure in the Fourth World’s passing than Karate Kid is in the Great Disaster,” Giffen reveals." --I mean: Jimmy Olsen and Karate Kid. This is like making Danny Bonaduce and Scott Baio the stars of the next Martin Scorcese film. It's either brilliant or a frickin' disaster.

(answering the question as to why Mary Marvel is the most powerful magic-caster in the DCU)
Gray has his own theory: “It’s because she’s a virgin,” he theorizes. “I suspect the key to solving this impending crisis is to put Mary Marvel and Jimmy Olsen in a room with a lot of tequila and some Barry White CDs.”
-- Translation: "She just needs to get laid."

(answering the question as to what part that rather-phallic Kirby device will play in the story)
"I have plenty of inappropriate responses involving what Granny Goodness does when she’s not being so good, but I think that might get me into some trouble,"
-- Translation: Granny Goodness also just needs to get laid.

(answering the question as to where is Ray Palmer)
"He’s hiding in Power Girl’s cleavage."
-- Cue Yakkity Sax, count minutes until twenty links on When Fangirls Attack pop up.

"There are going to be deaths down the line. As long as you try your best to make those deaths mean something in the greater context of the story, then I can live with it. There will be fatalities coming up. Fans will either love or hate it, there’s not much room for that gray area.”
-- my suggestions: Karate Kid, Bob The Monitor, Holly, Jason Todd, Jimmy Olsen, whichever one of the "Defiant Ones" is left, Mary Marvel, Superman Prime

All-in-all, there is some intriguing stuff here, but the focus on obscure characters and arcane plot twists still alienates me somewhat.

But you know what really alienates me?

All the sex jokes about Superheroines. I'm not a hard-core feminist about these issues by any stretch of the imagination, but it's just really really juvenile and does nothing to dispel my initial inclination to see Countdown as low-brow entertainment for a cliched idea of who "fanboys" are supposed to be. It's a very limiting viewpoint both for DC & Wizard and I don't think it is so much offensive as idiotic.

Is $2.99 Too Much To Pay For A Comic Book?

Been reading the ongoing digital comics piracy debate, and a thought popped into my mind.

Is $2.99 (or, most often, more) too much to pay for a print single-issue comic book?

It certainly isn't if the material is good.

But I've come to the conclusion that if the material is sub-par -- or merely mediocre -- it's too much money to expect the public to pay.

Let me reiterate:

In the "good old days," I used to wait on baited breath for the next issue of Morrison's "Doom Patrol" or "Love and Rockets." I mean, I would literally count down the thirty days for my fave comics to come out.

But If I buy, say, 6 comics @ $2.99 today at my comic shop, and 4 of them are mediocre reads, that means I just spent around $12.00 on mediocrity that won't even look nice on my bookshelf.

I think this is the real issue that drives the comic book pirates.

Hey, I realize not every book is gonna hit them out of the park. But I classify comics in three catagories:

1. REALLY GOOD BOOKS. Ellis's Thunderbolts, Morrison's All-Star Superman, etc.

2. "Okay" books I have a sentimental attachment to. For me that would include Iron Man & Ms. Marvel, of which I do not miss an issue.

3. Mediocre comics. They're efficient enough time-wasters, but eminently forgettable.

4. Crap.

$2.99 is too much for mediocre & crap. It's just too much money. For $9 I can go buy any number of classic movies on DVD. For $14 I can get a trade paperback that, worst-case scenario, at least can sit nice on my bookshelf or make a viable product to resell on eBay.

But what can I do with a $2.99 floppy that has sucky quality? Nobody wants to buy it from me. I usually won't give it to my friends, because I'm not in the habit of giving friends crap. Besides, they all have too many comics, anyway.

Such "filler" comics are best offered for free or a small subscription fee online. They are good comics to host ads on. They are good product to tout "exclusive comics free on this site!"

Of course, one person's crap is another person's gold. But if we had to analyze it, if we put it to a survey, certain books are going to be pointed out by the majority as either "mediocre" or "crap."

Now the whole "direct to video/DVD" movie phenomenon comes to mind. These films are not good enough to be in the movie theaters, but find a home in affordably-priced copies or Netflix.

Maybe the same principle should apply to comics. Maybe publishers should have a high bar as to the quality of all their print "floppy" books, and then just publish the rest online.

As for the argument made by many digital comics pirates that "sampling" comics for free online will actually lead to more purchases -- we all know this is not the case for mediocre & crap books. The glaring crapocity of a book becomes all the more noticeable when you downloaded an entire week's worth of books and are flipping through files.

Think about it -- you just got 30+ comics for free in one download. The choice is already overwhelming. A title that you might have, one-upon-a-time, actually purchased to "sample" is now ignored by you after glancing at a couple of digital pages.

Do you know how many comics I have purchased that I've regretted? How is this an efficient use of my time? Can I afford to keep "sampling?" Can I afford to buy 4 books a week that are just "okay?"

This is not meant to be a knock on the comics industry. I'm just literally looking at my wallet in preparation for the day's purchases and asking some questions.

Occasional Links: The Dilton Doiley Will Have His Revenge Oh Yes He Will Have His Revenge Edition

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Casting Thunderbolt

Blog @ Newsarama doubts William Hurt's ability to play General Thunderbolt Ross in the upcoming Hulk flick. Of course, everyone knows that Ross should be played by crusty hard-as-nails actor Sam "'Stache" Elliot. But here are some other actors who could have made the cut:


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No, "Archie Meets The Punisher" Was Apparently Not Enough


Comics Should Be Good reviews the latest Archie epic from Tales Of Riverdale Digest, "Denim." Does the story surpass the standard set by the groundbreaking "Civil Chores" event? Is this the last stand of perennial Archie third-string character Dilton Doiley?

And is this a good time to start the "Archie Comics To Kill Archie, Rename Company Jason Todd Comics" rumor?

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Quotables & Quips!


"We're talking about a guy who points to his unusually high sperm count as evidence of his credibility on gender issues "

-- Reflections on Internet Instigator Du Jour Rational Madman


"Rational Mad Man is the Hugo Chavez of internet fandom."

--I really don't know what that means, but it sounds good, doesn't it?


"No really. F*k you, all of you. F**k you silver age fanboys, and f**k you golden age fanboys. F**k you feminist fans and f**k you masculist fans. F**k you Marvel fans and F**k you DC fans. A big sidewise two by four up the ass f**k you to independent and literary comics fans. F**k you fat smelly fan boys, and f**k you preppy soap loving fan boys. F**k you hot cosplay fangirls and f**k you fat ass cosplay fangirls. F**k you Bendis fans and F**k you byrne fans. F**k you johns fans and f**k you simone fans. F**k you dixon fans and f**k you beau fans. A big f**k you to "when fangirls attack" and a manly anti-feminist f**k you to girl-wonder.org. F**k you all right in the ear."

-- You know, my mom always used to say that when teh Internets stop being fun for you, it's really time to do something else.


"I wonder what Gardner Fox would say if he saw this?"

--Pretty much the essence of a lot of The Four Color Media's Monitor's posts, bless his heart.


"I'm not ready/eager/willing to read Joe Q's personal take on feminism yet."

-- Dan Bizzle's reaction to the proposed Marvel Classics illustrated adaptation of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique.


"Uh...well, I just read Thunderbolts: Breaking Point this afternoon. And before that...I read Penance #3...guest-starring Wolverine. And then I read...World War Hulk #5..."

-- My hastily-put-together answers to the question "what comic books are you into?" at the NYC Friends of Lulu meeting last night.


"J.K. Rowling is a lily-livered literary chicken."

--Berke Breathed


"You folks are so very "special."

--We here at the OS blog try to limit ourselves to only one Chuck Dixon quote a day.


"It’s not a “Laverne and Shirley.” It’s more like a “Joanie Loves Chachi”"

-- Aint It Cool News on the possibility the Herc/Cho team-up in "Incredible Hulk" is just a set-up for a spin-off series. Which begs the question...who is "Joanie" in this equation?


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Teh Best Spidey Ad Evah

This ad is too funny.

It will be even funnier if it turns out that whoever made it didn't get the rights from Marvel.

(via Journalista)

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When Environmentalism Goes A Mite Too Far


Dollymix reports on a startling new fashion trend apparently coming out of China:

"...there's a new trend of using recycled condoms to make hair bands. *

no wait, it gets better

"It's reported that there's a certain risk of bacteria being transmitted to the girls, as a lot of us ladies put our hair bands in our mouths while we gather hair to put it in a ponytail."

(vomits coffee and donuts onto keyboard)

"Even worse, if the condom that was used to make the hair band does have infectious bacteria on it, any sort of oral or skin contact with the bacteria can cause the girls to catch STDs ranging from genital warts to HIV."

Even Quagmire now is digusted.

"Girls, if you're thinking of using these hair bands, please don't. They're USED condoms for god's sake! Used! They were in and on some stranger's genitals! DON'T DO IT!"

Blissfully unaware:

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The OS Community

We now have breaking video of OS regular Angry Zen Master on the crapper

And Brady Russell reviewing Green Arrow/Black Canary #2

Peoples, get to know your fellow commentors. Shoot videos. Shoot videos on the toilet. Or not. But get involved.

Along those lines, I was thinking of including a "spotlight" on regular visitors to the blog. Similar to what they do on Pop Candy --- but, you know, with a far smaller audience and more of an accent on "World War Hulk."

Along those lines, does anybody out there want to corporately underwrite/sponsor this blog? I won't be able to plug any products that suck, but I will host your Nike ads.

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Dancing Fool

Video: A Spider-Man 3/Saturday Night Fever mash-up

A Vast Statue-Making, Woman-Hating Conspiracy?

Thunderbolts: Breaking Point contrasts two women: the cold, amoral manipulator Moonstone, and rebel-with-a-heart-of-gold Songbird. They are former criminals who have both been conscripted by the government to work for the Thunderbolts. Because of her cunning, Moonstone has become team leader, while Songbird labors with the rest of the "rabble."

The U.S. government that employs Thunderbolts is a bit on the corrupt side -- Harry "Green Goblin" Osborne is one of their officials, for pete's sake. They are also licensing out the images of the team members to make action figures and other collectibles.

Because she is popular with "tweens," Songbird gets the inspirational and beautiful action figures made of her. On the other hand, Moonstone gets a variation on the cheesecake "Mary Jane" statue made so infamous earlier this year.

As Osborne tells Moonstone:

"...you're popular with...males 18 to 49--a very desirable demographic. They have more disposable income, so we're thinking of a higher-end collectible for you."

Now, there has been some controversy as of late regarding the inclusion of this sequence. Lisa from Sequentially Speaking writes,

"Personally, I get the feeling that the gang over at Marvel is not taking the concerns of feminist fans seriously. There were news stories in the mass media about this, and while not all did, many expressed concern at the story the statue was telling. Rather than letting it lie, Marvel brings it up again, as if to say, "ha ha ha feminists, we're making fun of your concerns again!" Maybe they don't think we actually read Marvel comics? Or maybe they don't want us to read them anymore and are showing us the door with this panel?"

I have to respectfully disagree with her assessment.

If anything, scripter Christos Gage has actually written something rather subversive. By making the analogy between the Moonstone & MJ statues, he is indirectly also making a connection between the corrupt (or merely shameless) government organization that runs Thunderbolts and Marvel Comics. I don't see it as an angry "down with the Man" connection, but it is a connection.

Had Marvel Comics been so concerned about swaying the public's opinion via subtle story details in their books, I would think the first order of the day would be to veto the whole issue outright on the basis that it might be criticizing their licensing practices.

Instead, I see this as Gage (and, by extension, Marvel itself) poking fun at themselves. This is not Captain America holding up a Mary Jane statue and telling feminists to "lighten up." This is Harry Osborne -- certified fruitbat -- holding up a Moonstone statue and saying "hey, this piece of s**t statue will certainly bring in some revenue with the fanboys." He's not to be taken seriously. He's a fruitbat. The whole organization is not to be taken seriously -- they're corrupt. Moonstone is not to be taken seriously -- she's a cold-blooded killer who makes Sharon Stone in "Basic Instinct" look like Pippi Longstocking.

Then who should be taken seriously in all this?

Songbird.

Songbird has consistently shown herself to be the most capable and moral person in the entire Thunderbolts. She's brave, a great strategist, and a tough fighter. She's a true superheroine. As such, she apparently appeals to teenage girls in the Marvel Universe because she is a great role model.

It is the Moonstone statue, the organization who made the Moonstone statue, and the inspiration of said Moonstone statue who are all shown to be negative in this story. As an alternative to all that, we are given Songbird -- regarding whose personal life and psyche the whole issue is about.

That said, the controversy over this sequence has brought up a connected issue, reflected upon by commenter James Meeley on Lisa's blog:

"They see this as a way of sparking controversy and publicity for the Marvel brand name. They know there are tons of well-meaning fools, who will see this image and jump onto their blogs and pimp the hell out of it. Sure, they'll be calling it "disgusting" and other things like that, but the exposure (no pun intended) will net them lots of interest. It will most likely make this book sell better, once word gets out, since whenever someone calls something out, people flock to it to see what the big deal is."

Are comic book companies purposely including these things knowing that feminists will get angry and blog about it -- thereby providing free publicity?

I think that line of thinking gives too much (or too little) credit to the "think-tanks" for the big comic publishers. A bunch of curious readers buying some comic just to see the boobies on page three will not save or even seriously impact numbers on a book that is crap. A little sales bump on issue whatever is not going to turn the tide on a title -- good writing and art will (and perhaps a guest-spot by Wolverine). Even if this was a strategy that is used -- which I most certainly think was not the case with the Thunderbolts issue -- it is a short-sighted and ultimately impotent one.

Do the big companies completely disregard the (oft-times totally justified) concerns of feminists regarding their comic books? I have first-hand information & second-hand information that this is not the case. It is on Marvel & DC's radar. The question then becomes, "how much on the radar," and "what are they doing about it?" Those are good questions. But they are not in a bubble, and to paint a picture of villains sitting behind their desks, twirling their mustaches, and laughing about how a half-page scene in an obscure one-shot will really "stick" it to the feminists is stretching things a bit.

And the editor of Thunderbolts: Breaking Point was a woman, by the way.

Occasional Links: The Macho Edition

Indy's Out To Kick Ass And Chew Bubblegum...And He's All Out Of Bubblegum


Seriously, tho, have you ever seen Indiana Jones this badass? (via Comic by Comic)

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Attack Of The Clowns


Meanwhile, Heath Ledger is looking sort of hot -- in a psychopathic way -- on the cover of the January issue of Empire. So is he officially cooler than Bale-as-Batman, or what?




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Best...Tagline...Ever


See, this is the tagline Bob Kane would have used for Batman if his publisher wasn't so uptight:


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Sightings

Is this the first, grainy photo of Rorschach in the new Watchmen movie?


How 'bout this, what do you think? Is it really Bigfoot?


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Super-Director-Dickery


Superman Returns director Bryan Singer apparently violated Gov. Schwarzenegger's special no-fly zone created for Brandon Routh's wedding by arriving to the event in a helicopter -- prompting the esteemed Page Six to refer to the auteur as "Chopper Chump."

Meanwhile, Routh decided to spend the night before his wedding performing the ultimate "real man" activity of bowling with his buds.

Approves:
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Macho-Man's Comin' Ta Getcha!

Video: Randy "Macho Man" Savage at his incomprehensible best. The manly-man against which all other manly-men are measured.

Exactly How Many Women Are Working In This Industry, Anyhow?

I'm a firm believer that the best way to have diversity reflected in comic books is to have a diverse editorial staff. The writer and artist may create the book -- but it's the editor who sets the tone and hires the creators.

A question bandied about the blogosphere a bit is, "are there enough women working within the comic book industry today?" Of course, "enough" is a pretty arbitrary sum. But you get the idea.

With all this in mind, Friends of Lulu turned to some of the biggest comic companies today to get an up-to-date and accurate list of the women on their payroll. We then broke down the jobs into some basic categories and made an alphabetical listing. (Just to be clear, this is a listing of non-comic creators working for publishers -- editors, marketing people, etc.)

You can see the results here at the Friends of Lulu site.

This list is just part of our overall goal at Lulu to provide a number of useful resources relating to the topic of women in comics. We're tackling the huge "women in comics" section next, which will provide an up-to-date list of all female comic creators.

I realize this might flood my inbox, but if you're a woman and we either forgot to list you on the "Women in the Industry" list, or you want to make sure we have your name, credits, and updated web address for the "Women In Comics" list, drop me a line.

Also, we will be putting together similar lists for female comics retailers and comics journalists/bloggers.

Finally, if you are interested in becoming a member of Lulu -- or were sort of thinking about it for a while but were putting it off -- contact me and I'll give you the run-down on our projects, membership rates, and all that cool stuff.

So anyway, what do you all think? Is there "enough" women in comics? Feedback? Thoughts?

Occasional Links: The "Spidey Loves Oranges" Edition

Okay, Who Here Wouldn't Do Angelina Jolie? Let's Try It That Way.


Breaking News: The latest Hollywood starlet to enticingly drop hints that she'd like to shag Angelina Jolie is...Hayden Panettiere! She apparently told GQ:

"Well, if you want to make me a lesbian, that's totally fine with me. That would be a pretty funny rumour. I'd love to have a love affair with Angelina. And there are other beautiful girls I like too - Charlize Theron, oh my God! Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous too, and Jessica Alba."

I don't want to get started on a rant over here, but why can't male celebrities have the same freedom in describing their own same-sex dream romps? Can you imagine Orlando Bloom or somebody saying in an interview, "Oh, I'd totally do Elijah Wood! OMG!"

And where's the creativity in Panettiere's choices? Jolie, Alba, etc. -- how banal. Now, if she had said "I'd totally do Marsha Cross" -- see, that takes some ingenuity.

In other entertainment rumors, Tom Cruise might be guest-starring in an episode of Doctor Who. As well as possibly Angelina Jolie. Because she's not over-exposed.

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Lesbians are..."Special." Yes, that's it. Complete with the little bus.

See, I totally could have linked the above two news items and made a Tom Cruise gay joke...but that would have made me better than the throwaway "nancy-boy" lines in "Countdown" how?

I think there is an inherent homophobia in Tom Cruise gay jokes.

Homophobe Batman, what do you think of that statement?


I kid. Batman's not homophobic. By using the word "special" Bats simply meant "awesome."

And as writer Chuck Dixon points out:

"He's Goddamn Batman, right?"

Yes. Exactly.

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"Dr. Light With Rapey Grip Action"

Meanwhile, Evan Dorkin, wondering why they don't make great super-villains like The Scorpion anymore, observes of today's comics:

"Gripping powers, out. Raping abilities, in."

I'm getting a vision of one of those old-school Super Powers action figures with the little karate-chop lever in the back.

(via Journalista)

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As If Yu Care...


Lenil Yu assures us that Tigra will have her revenge --


And meanwhile Yu & Bendis have apparently redeemed themselves for the Tigra beatdown with their unexploitative Spiderwoman shower scene:

"There are so many ways that this could have gone wrong, so many. But instead they made it work for me. I think because a) it's Wolverine. Wolverine's not one of my favorite characters, but even I, at my most irritated with him, would never suggest the man is a rapist. He might stab her in the head, sure, but he wouldn't rape her."

I agree: I soooo would rather Jessica Drew be stabbed in the head by Wolverine than raped by him.

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"Save The Males"

Journalista's Dirk Deppey comes to the defense of Wonder Woman scribe Gail Simone after she came under a nasty ad hominem attack by blogger Rational Madman:

"This is the point where intelligent men and women, even those who might otherwise agree with what Mr. Rational has to say, will invariably tell him to go fuck himself with a rusty knife. And they’ll be quite right to do so."

Which leads me to reproduce this classic quote from the Rational Madman post in question:

"One of the reason I read comics in the first place is that its one of the last bastions of male competence in entertainment. "

The scary thing is, I've heard variations of this argument from within the comic book industry before, the most prominent being the mantra of one long-time editor:

"Comic books are adolescent male fantasies. As such, they need strong men and sexy women in peril."

They also need ads for "Grit." And the 1969 ABC Saturday Morning line-up.

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Teddy Scares
So a teacher in Sudan lets her class of 7-year-olds name their teddy bear "Mohammed."

Guess what happens next?

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Video: Why Spider-Man Will Never Get Scurvy:
(via NeedCoffee)

Warner Bros: The Batman Smackdown!

The latest word from LITG:

"Oh and Dead Batman/Todd Batman/God Bruce Wayne? So not happening. You can still expect a status-challenging new scenario, still expect Alex Ross covers and designs, still expect some intricately complex yet instantly entertaining Morrisonia, just, expect something else. Did Internet reaction affect this? Not one jot it seems. All decisions are taking place at a much higher level, and Warner Bros. have made their feelings known."

All this flip-flopping is getting rather ridiculous, isn't it? And yet, it's completely plausible.

Batman -- with its core mythos intact -- is a cash cow for Warner Brothers.

You can't f**k it with it.

My impression? The corporate higher-ups applied the Smackdown.

These smackdowns, in the interest of "brand purity," happen all the time.

I would argue that you have less leeway to f**k with Batman than you do even with Superman.

And then there is the whole "brand confusion" angle. You can't have Dark Knight in theaters and Jason Todd as Batman in the comic book.

And you can't have Jason Todd as Batman because thematically, it's all wrong. And Todd hasn't earned it.

But basically, the fans would have rioted. And so the Smackdown was most likely applied.

While I agree that the Internet buzz didn't directly kill the Todd/Wayne Death storyline, I'm sure it might have underlined it a little to Those Who Know.

Bruce Wayne tells his fans:
(God, it's too late at night to be reading or writing these posts...)

New Red Hulk Images...

Multiple covers (naturally) for Hulk #1, accompanied by the following ad copy:

"Now that the dust has cleared and World War Hulk has ended, the Hulk is seemingly no more. But if that’s true…then who is this new, red skinned Hulk? And what connection does he have to the murder of a classic Hulk character? With Iron Man, She-Hulk and Doc Samson on the case, the answers will be unearthed—and you won’t believe what they discover!"

What do you think?

With Amadeus Cho doing the "hard-travelling heroes" bit with Hercules -- and Doc Samson, She-Hulk, and Thunderbolt Ross (all in the original promo art) apparently in the clear -- my bets are with Rick Jones as Tomato Hulk. Which would dovetail nicely with Bucky-as-Cap and, dare I say it, Jason Todd as Batman.

It's "youthsplosion" down mainstream comics way! The kids have taken over. Only, the kids are all kinda pushing thirty.

Countdown to...Change?

It's the mid-point for the weekly extravaganza Countdown, and apparently -- according to this interview with Newsarama, at any rate -- some changes might be on the horizon...

1. “Let every book be itself.”

The oft-awkward pacing of other DC Comics to fit in with the overarching Countdown storyline had been somewhat of a disaster. Maybe Dan DiDio agrees? He says in the interview:

"Let every book be itself.” Let every story have its own pace. If someone feels, correctly or incorrectly, that their “experience” has been revealed in Countdown or revealed in say, Sinestro Corps War, that’s reflected in another series…I’m willing to make that sacrifice because at the end of the day, I’m confident that Countdown is better because Superman Prime appears at the moment he does, or more importantly, the Superman Prime storyline plays out in the way it does in Sinestro Corps War, and we don’t alter one story or the other."

Will this mean that writers will have more freedom to develop/structure their plots and storylines outside of the iron-clad dictum of Countdown-Countdown-Countdown?

I think that some writers have been alienated by that level of control and capitulation to the needs of the larger event. I don't just mean that the writers have been merely "inconvenienced." I mean, some might have been alienated, disgusted, straitjacketed, frustrated.

And the problem with taking so much independence from said writers is that post-Final Crisis success is going to be measured by how many skilled writers besides Grant Morrison is writing DCU.

2. Adding editorial boxes to clarify continuity and crossover issues.

See, I think the utter pomposity of DC in interviews regarding their refusal to add the editorial boxes in Countdown did a lot to cheese off readers. I mean, obviously there was a problem, there was confusion. But instead of responding to that, DC got defensive. They were like: "you said we made a mistake but we didn't and just to show we didn't we will not change one iota."
But in the inteview DiDio says:

"And this is where we’re going to be adding in editorial boxes that will tell readers what’s up if a character’s appearance or actions don’t reflect their actions or appearance in any other issues at the time, it will say something like, “Read Green Lantern #25.” Again, I don’t want any individual story to suffer just to make things line up perfectly."

This is rule one not only of interacting with comic book readers but with today's consumers in general: get off the high horse. Have a dialogue with them. Respond to their feedback. Adapt.

3. The "bounce" towards the Final Crisis.

C'mon, who wouldn't guess that there would be an effort to make the last issues of Countdown better in an attempt to maximize sales for Final Crisis?

"I believe the series has leveled off, and I’m hoping that we see a little bit of a bounce moving towards the conclusion, because I feel that people will start to respond more to the things that are going on in the series itself in the sense of they’ll feel that things are occurring at a much more rapid pace. I’m also suspecting that we’ll pick up more readers as we get closer to Final Crisis because people are going to want to see what the line is between Countdown and Final Crisis itself. And I think that if anyone is coming to this series curious to see what’s going on, they’re going to be excited by it, because rather than being exhausted at this point, everyone is pushing as hard as they can, and there’s a lot of energy on those pages."

Which is a noble sentiment, I guess, but the proof will be in the execution.

In closing, I'll leave off with Dan's description of why Superman Prime has captured the imagination of readers:

"Sure, he’s the Anti-Superman, but more than that, some of the greatest villains you can face are the ones who are single-minded, and above all, who don’t see that they’re a threat or a villain in any way. No villain wakes up in the morning, spins their moustache, and says, “I’m going to be villainous today.” They have incredible justification for all of their actions, no matter how horrific they are. That’s what makes Superman Prime great – he believes he’s working towards something better. He believes he’s doing the right thing, and he truly believes that the ends justify the means. He is so adamant about his beliefs that he is completely combative with anyone who disagrees with him. He has complete belief in his convictions, and is willing to do whatever it takes to implement them."

Occasional Links, The Red Bull Edition

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The International Society of Supervillains have provided, as a public service, their list of the top 10 super-douchebags in comics. The characters, I mean.

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Breaking News: Natalie Portman latest of Hollywood starlets who are referred to in press junket interview as "more than just another pretty face":

"She listens patiently, hands clasped in a little fist, peach-perfect face upturned, beauty spots on each cheek, as the waiter reads through a list of today's specials, all of which contain meat or fish. She doesn't interrupt to tell him that she's vegetarian. Eventually he finishes and she says that she'll have the shepherd salad with a side of tzatziki. Tap water will be fine."

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In a turn of events that would make even Charles Dickens weep, many Internet users might be forced to actually pay for their weekly comic books, thanks to DC & Marvel.

Opines one of the potentially effected:

"I have said often, here and elsewhere, that thanks to the Net, I can read everything published every week without paying for it. I have no interest in buying something when I don’t have to, and think it would be unethical for me to do so: my money is better served feeding my family. Given the option of spending $5 on a comic book or downloading it and putting $5 into my kids’ college fund, there’s no choice at all. If the publishers offered their product as pay-for-download, I still wouldn’t be interested in buying them. Why would I?"

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A helpful public service comic details the dangers of coffee abuse. Call it the "Reefer Madness" of the java set.


As for what I think about it -- I'M FINE! STOP BOTHERING ME! YOU'RE TOO LOUD! IS IT HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME? NO, THAT'S NOT A PICK-UP LINE! MY HANDS ALWAYS SHAKE LIKE THIS! SO...SO THIRSTY!

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Oh my gosh, is that really a website made by The Joker?! That's so scary! That must mean that The Joker really exists! And he's knows how to make really clever Geico jokes!


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The talented Johanna applies her unique brand of review-fu to Countdown, Newsarama, and Chuck Dixon:

"They’re comparing DC’s highest profile project, during an interview with the company’s Executive Editor, to a SNUFF FILM?!?!

Fatality!
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Over at IGN, a reviewer of New Avengers #36 complains that the Wolverine confronting Spiderwoman in the shower scene was not sexy enough!


Hey, if you're looking for your daily dose of sexy in an issue of The Avengers, you're probably not doing it right. Everyone knows you should be reading a copy of Wizard instead!

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Video: RIP YOUR PANTS LIKE THE HULK WITH THE THIRST MUTILATOR!

It's Another Vidcast!

"The Occasional Superheroine Show"

This week on the show:

Wolvie gets pwned!

The Illuminati get off the hook!

Supergirl brushes her teeth!

Lower-level superheroes die!

Inappropriate laughter at a New God's expense!

And plenty more!

Hoo-boy!

Nightwing Preview Page and "Warm" Vs. "Cold" Art

Via Rags Morales's message board is a page of the new Nightwing with him on pencils & Mike Bair on inks. I think it's pretty sweet.

But it does bring up to me the old question: can this sort of bravura classic art style still attract hoards of fans the way more abstract "flavor-of-the-month" works do?

There is some comic art that is currently hot that seem to lack all facial expression and subtlety. They belong to that classification of comics art I call "cold" -- very stylish and maybe even beautiful, but no personality.

Whereas art like Morales/Bair's seems to be built around the emotional imperative of the character or scene in question. They almost seem to be asking: "where is the character's motivation?" and take it from that point.


I call that sort of art, for lack of a better term and in the interest of contrast, "warm."

I honestly don't know what readers get from "cold" art -- other than perhaps that "wicked cool!" factor. Okay, say the overly-stylized drawing in question is "wicked cool" -- just like a car or video game character. If there is no emotional impact -- how does it serve the story? What do you get out of it?

And if you're a comic writer and a "cold" artist illustrates your book -- do you get frustrated that something is lost?

It's like you can either get Cate Blanchett or Jessica Simpson to star in your movie.

What do you think?

Occasional Links: The Holiday Slave Leia Exclusive Action Figure Edition

* Sexy Santa Slave Leia custom action figure now available on eBay. "...makes a great stocking stuffer or the coolest, sexiest ornament on your tree, as she can be fitted with an ornament hanger upon request."


* "He's Goddamn Batman, right?" -- Chuck Dixon.


* Little Lulu: the first vegetarian vigilante?


* Breaking news: Countdown to officially include little editorial boxes to explain what the bloody hell is going on.


* Jack Black on the Green Lantern movie that never was: "I was going to be capturing bad guys with green, giant prophylactics." Now if Seth Rogan can only lose the Green Hornet movie, we'll be 2-for-2.


* In a thread entitled "John Byrne: Metrosexual," the comics legend discusses proper skin care.


* Dan Slott's alternate cover for "Fallen Son: Death Of Captain America." I think an all-Slott issue of Amazing Spider-Man is in order, don't you?


* Breaking news: Shatner still angry that he was not asked to be Kirk in new Star Trek film.


* Tech Watch: Bikini lifejacket with inflatable...well, you know.


*Hulk Hogan informed of wife's divorce plans by reporter. Says, "Thank you for the great information," lifts some weights, cries into his protein drink.


Christmas cheer from The Dating Game:
"It's the holiday season and I'm Santa. You're on my lap. Little boy, take it away..."

Occasional Links, The Slapsgiving Edition

Video: How I Met Your Mother tries to hone in on Seinfeld's imaginary holiday racket by staging "Slapsgiving." Do you know anyone in need of a good slap this holiday season?

The Macy's Thanksgiving balloons have been both a source of wonderment and abject terror growing up. I always had this nightmare where I'd see a semi-deflated Kermit knock against my 6th floor bedroom window with his floppy hand.

Here are several links with cool photos of the balloons:
Macy's Balloon Inflation (there is one shot with Pokemon & Ronald McDonald that looks sort of dirty...can you find it?)

This is a helpful timeline of great moments in Macy's Thanksgiving balloon history. Get a load of the mug on that Superman balloon...far more Walter Matthau than the Man of Steel.


And here is a gallery featuring photos of the Macy's balloon over the years. Are you as annoyed as I am about characters who don't really deserve it having balloons? I mean, really: does Jimmy Neutron really deserve a balloon? Is his show even on anymore? I smell crass commercialism.

Speaking of Macy's, here are two videos of the Marvel Comics presentation during the 1987 and 1989 parades. You can't underestimate how awesome watching this on TV was as a kid. On par with those "Challenge of the Superfriends" TV specials, but with better acting. And Robocop, Melba Moore, and Emma Frost.



I'm sure you've watched the classic 1973 Charlie Brown Thanksgiving at some point, haven't you? I always wanted to do a rant on that cartoon. Peppermint Patty is such a bitch! It's like Lucy went on vacation and Patty took over in the bitch department. It's not like she was invited to Charlie's house for Thanksgiving...she basically invited herself. And he did the best he could to host dinner, despite limited resources. Why did she need to chew poor Chuck out? These Peanuts specials always had these unsettling, really adult bits of dysfunction in them, whether it was Charlie depressed over "killing" the Christmas tree, Patty's bipolar episode over the Thanksgiving dinner, or delusional Linus's pumpkin obsession. That's why I prefer The Jerry Lucas Super Kids Day Jamboree.

Who Dies In Heroes For Hire #15???

Admittedly, I have not always been the biggest fan of the latest incarnation of "Heroes For Hire." I've always seen the title as somewhat less than "Birds of Prey" and somewhat more like Marvel's amswer to Top Cow's "babe" line of comics. But apparently somebody dies in tomorrow's issue.

According to the online preview, it looks like it might be Humbug, who is apparently infected with some Brood-like thing. But I think in order for the issue to be really emotionally resonant (yeah, I realize this is the same book that showcased "Heroes For Hentai," but...), either the core characters of Misty Knight or Colleen Wing would have to go.

My money's on Colleen. But we'll see tomorrow.


Also, does anybody know if #15 is officially the last issue? I know on books like this with short runs, the last issues can get kinda crazy because "all bets are off," as it were.

"See, I thought Spider-Man movies were okay for girls to go see now..."

...but most women would apparently want to see "Vagina Street" instead.

Jason Todd New "Batman?"

LITG reports:

"I can now tell you that the new Batman will be designed by Alex Ross and will see Jason Todd under the cowl."



Well, Didio was given the ball, and he went with it. Jason Todd was rumored to be his favorite character, and he (allegedly) made him Batman. He burned through the entire DCU oeuvre, character-by-character, universe-by-universe, and indelibly left his mark.

But isn't that what Grant Morrison has done as well? And isn't that what most writers, given the opportunity and power, would do? Shape the fantasy universe in question in their own image?

True, you have those writers like Kurt Busiek and Mark Waid who try to figure in the "integrity" of past continuity while at the same time adding new elements.

But here is the common scenario I have heard repeated over and over again by comic book writers and editors (and many fans):

"I was growing up and things were at times less-than-ideal, (fill in the blank here). Comic books were a real outlet for me, a place to escape. In particular, I related to (fill in the blank here). I never thought that character had a real break. So I decided that when I grew up, (blank) would be the most popular character. I would fix things."


Another common device is "freezing" one's book in the time period one remembers most fondly. Certainly an author like Brad Meltzer has been accused of this in his "Justice League" run. But again -- Grant Morrison does the same thing.

It's called fan-fiction.

Now, "fan-fiction" isn't necessarily a dirty word. There is a lot of good fan fiction out there. But there is a difference between meticulously creating a new world and new memes and looking backward at when times were good. People like Morrison and Moore do both, at times castigating themselves for their own damned nostalgia.

I see no good reason (thematically) why Jason Todd should be Batman, other than to goose readership and create controversy. But maybe, from a business standpoint, those are good reasons.

Here's the scenario.

"Bruce Wayne To Die." -- this almost certainly gets mainstream press. CNN, Fox News, etc. This creates an interest in reading the comics from beyond the hardcore fanbase. These numbers can be huge. See "Death of Superman."


"Jason Todd is Batman" -- this almost certainly will cause hysteria in comic book circles. And no matter how much people bitch, most will probably check the issues in question out.

Even if this is just a gimmick -- which, given the Bruce Wayne "brand" and the larger interests of Time Warner, is almost certainly the case -- lots of money will be made.

But within all this, one thing must be remembered.

As much as Dan Didio is a passionate fan, there are other passionate fans. Their visions are not lining up. As a jaded ex-industry person and 25-year-plus comic reader, I have the luxury of not getting too emotionally involved in it. "Bruce Wayne to die?" Yeah, sure. We'll see in three years if that sticks. But there are many many fans who this is (if it is true) going to devastate.

Fans get devastated. Devastated. You can be like Shatner in that SNL skit and say, "get a life." But it doesn't change the fact that fans get devastated.


There are fans out there with Batman tattooed on their arms. It's not Jason Todd they have tattooed on their skin. Under that inked cowl is Bruce Wayne.

If this story is true, the mainstream media will totally pick it up. And all the non-comic reader will hear is, "Bruce Wayne to die." And they are going to wonder whose idea this was.

See, this is why I think Joe Q. was smart with Captain America. He tried to make the event as solemn and respectful as he possibly could. He wasn't flip. It wasn't a cheap gimmick. And he maintained a very talented writer on the book who has successfully maintained the title without its leading character.

If this "death of Bruce Wayne" thing is true, Dan Didio should do the same. Don't crack jokes. Don't get cocky. Don't have Ed Benes pencil the death scene.

Because fans are passionate. And many, had they had their chance to run their own comic book companies, would keep Bruce Wayne as Batman forever.

Occasional Links, The Sugar Bear Edition

News YOU need to know: Sienna Miller cast as the Baroness in the new GI Joe movie! (via Blog@Newsarama) Women-with-eyeglasses fetishists rejoice.


News relevant to YOU: World's first Barbie store in Buenos Aires. Offers make-up & manicures, targets girls 3-9. Owner insists: "But when they go home, they're still little girls."


Hard-hitting news for YOUSE: Were these big-name stars ashamed of signing autographs at the Big Apple Con last weekend? Val who?


YOU demanded it, we report it: Toyfare lists the top 50 imaginary weapons. Thor's hammer is #10, Cap's shield is #6, He-Man's power sword is #2. Let the bitching begin.


News YOU can use: Marvel (or is that just writer Christos Gage) laughs at itself in Thunderbolts one-shot. "A limited-edition statue...trust me, it will be very tasteful."


YOU news something-something: The Red Hot Chili Peppers sues Showtime over "Californication," claims the cable TV show "has caused and continues to cause a likelihood of confusion, mistake and deception." In other news, David Duchovny is still kinda hawt.


Breaking news: Guy Gardner's ass.


Video: 1964's Sugar Bear sounds strangely like Dean Martin, gets menaced by floating one-man jazz band.

Spoiler Spoilers

Stalwart OS reader *Sammy* tipped me off to the latest "Robin" solicitations (#171). The copy reads as follows (emphasis by yours truly):

"Violet’s shady spoils are piling up as fast as Robin’s girl troubles…and he’s dealing with some spoils of his own. His all-nighters are sending his relationship with Zoanne off the rails — literally — and his visions of Stephanie around every corner have to be just that…right?"

Welcome to the school of subtle ad copy, folks.

So judging by the cover and the copy, what do you think? Is this setting up the return of Stephanie Brown?

I wouldn't want to spoil it for you...

(Oh, go buy this book. It's Chris Batista pencilling it fer gods sakes. He's gonna make Robin look hawt -- like John Stamos in his prime with a touch of Tom Welling. And if it follows the previous pattern of Robin and Nightwing comics, there should be at last 5 shower scenes of either Tim or Dick in this arc alone.)

Seen and Heard: The Big Apple Convention

me and Jamal Igle

Did you ever hear one of those big rumors that just jumped the shark of all rumors? I got several of those bombs tossed on me at the Big Apple Con in NYC, most of them by RICH JOHNSTON. Most will, I assume, make their way to his new column, and a few will continue to hover over the collective consciousness of the comic book industry at large. Alas, I am not a rumor blog. But I have pictures, charming anecdotes, and the sort of folksy charm you have come to expect from my fine postings. Come with me, won't you?

My first stop was, of course, to see the illustrious DAN SLOTT. I preface this by saying that Dan does not simply tell you a story -- he acts it out, complete with fine voice work and special effects. He recounted, in detail, a possible storyline for The Thing's solo book had it not been so untimely ended. I cannot give you specifics, but it would have been mind-blowing, gritty, and even a tad controversial. Luckily for us, we still have Dan's star-studded Amazing Spider-man run to look forward to, as well a his continuing work on Avengers: Initiative (my BF's favorite comic book, by the way).

Then he took us on a trip, with commentary, through Greg Horn's covers for She-Hulk, and we both agreed that the one with Awesome Andy was our absolute favorite. A presidential pardon for Dan's "Star Fox" storyline was also discussed.

Sidekick's Chris Moreno

Next up was Sidekick's CHRIS MORENO. Chris's design for Paul Jenkins's loser lead character in that hilarious comic is one of my all-time favorites; it's like I can even smell the tuna fish and french fries coming off of Eddie Edison as he bungles crime fighting and complains about his lack of respect. Now dat's talent!

Dennis Calero

DENNIS CALERO, always great to see at the cons, has a big, big project coming up. I realize the last time I reported on Calero he still had that big, big project, and I still couldn't announce what it was. Well, that's what you get when you have big projects with high-profile characters. Hey, maybe if you know him you can weasel it out of him. But by the beginning of the new year the news will definitely come out. Maybe an interview with OS as well? Maybe...

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- JAMAL IGLE in a couple of years is going to be the next high-profile comic book artist. I've been following his work since co-editing him at Acclaim Comics about ten years ago and he just gets better and better. His pencils are amazing. I really don't know how you can compare the care and detail and delicate characterization he puts into his figures with some of the empty, flash-in-a-pan artwork that's out there.

I just saw some of Jamal's pencils for an upcoming issue of Teen Titans and you could die how lovely this stuff was. His gorgeous Tim Drake will be the envy of many a fangirl. Thank God he's doing an issue of Countdown as well -- I may actually buy this one instead of reading my Scans Daily recaps. And he has an intriguing new project, yet to be announced -- I think when you find out about it you'll be pretty excited.

C-C-C-COMIC MIXXXXXX!!! (free comics, good conversation, and knitting)

Comic Mix's MARTHA THOMASES, MIKE GOLD, and ELAYNE RIGGS are like my most favoriteist people on the face of the Earth. Pity I'm not able to go to Mid-Ohio Con this year, to follow Gold's Comic Mix Road Trip through the convention season. It's people like them that really make the conventions and the industry a family-like environment. If you have a minute to check out the free comics on their site and give 'em a holler, please do. They'll treat ya good.

Stormin' Norman Breyfogle

Why isn't NORM BREYFOGLE currently working at DC or Marvel? This, to me, is one of the great riddles of the comic book industry. The man produces great work, interesting page compositions, consistent high-level quality, has an eye for design -- and does it fast! I co-edited him on The Spectre and he was always easy to work with and gave 110 percent, never late. And whenever I needed a fill-in, he would jump right in and turn it around. There is just no excuse for some of the substandard art I see on books with "deadline issues" when you have talented people like Norm who can do the work and do it well.

I mean, with Norm is it a "name cachet" issue, an age issue? Is having a younger penciller turning around crap work because he's got a tight deadline and truly doesn't have the chops to hack it better than hiring the artist who had one of the most beloved runs of Batman? And look at his picture -- he's really not that old!

Currently Norm Breyfogle is excited about his work in First Salvo's The Danger's Dozen, the first issue of which should be coming out soon, and the second issue being currently solicited.

Sean Chen perfecting his "Norma Rae" impression

SEAN CHEN is another talented artist I remember from Valiant/Acclaim Comics, and always a cool person to stop and chat with. He's currently collaborating with Fables' Bill Willingham on DC's Salvation Run, and invited me to go check it out.

Bernard Chang perhaps not doing so well on his own "Norma Rae" impression, but giving it heart

I've always been a fan of BERNARD CHANG and it was pleasure to see him at the show. He was one of the first people who e-mailed me to congratulate me on the Friends of Lulu presidency, and I really appreciated that. He's got an assignment coming up about which I am totally jazzed and he is totally modest. All I can say is -- I think it's a really good fit for his work, and I hope it leads to more things along that vein.

Me and Rich Johnston

Ah, the infamous RICH JOHNSTON! I got to meet him for the first time at the con, where he apparently did a live show/interpretive art piece for the convention guests involving twine and Alan Moore. Obviously, him and me needed a quick chat about things, but then talk quickly evolved into Doctor Who episodes, the ins and outs of pitching comics, the advertising industry, and, as I mentioned at the top of this post, tons and tons of gossip. Some of the revelations he will be dropping in his latest column will be -- especially to readers of this blog -- well, pretty mind-exploding.

I'm a big supporter of the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art, and was happy to see they got some priiiime real-estate at the Big Apple Con -- right on the way to the Adam Hughes/Tim Sale/Darwyn Cooke Bermuda Triangle of massive amounts of fans.

Speaking of which -- wow, I totally didn't expect to see Darwyn at the convention! Always great to chat with him and, as you can imagine, lines for his work were ginormous.

Grounded's Mark Sable and Paul Azaceta

MARK SABLE and PAUL AZACETA are two up-and-coming comic creators with some impressive work already under their belt and a bright future ahead of them. The two collaborated on Image's Grounded, and Mark currently has Fearless out (also from Image) and Paul does the amazing art on Potter's Field with Mark Waid (Boom Studios).

I cannot end my convention spiel without mentioning the lovely and talented BRENDAN MCGINLEY (pictured below), he of the neato comic book Dose (with exclusive Evan Dorkin story!).

After the show I couldn't decide whether to attend HEIDI MACDONALD's birthday party or hang out with my old Valiant/Acclaim cohorts -- luckily for me, both parties sort of mutated into each other over at Stout. It wasn't quite a sleep-the-next-morning-until-three-in-the-afternoon type party for me, but definitely B vitamins and Motrin were employed the following day. Alas, I'm pretty much a one-to-two beer maximum kind o' gal these days -- so I apparently went home before the karaoke started.

Dose's Brendan McGinley and this unidentified rather handsome fellow

I would be remiss if I failed to mention another attendee of both the comic con and party, one Mr. David Gallaher. He has a neat werewolf western webcomic over at Zuda.com called

High Moon
You should read it. ;-)

Until the next event!

The Hard Core Comic Book Convention

Last weekend's Big Apple Comic Book Convention in NYC -- also known as "The National" -- was as hard core an old school comic con as you can possibly get. You know that little comic book store you frequented near your house when you were a kid, the one crammed to the gills with dusty boxes full of back issues and lined with glass cases containing old election buttons and trading cards? It was that times 1000 plus the cast of Heroes. And Adam Hughes.

It's no surprise that, at least to me, the Big Apple Con hearkens back to the small comic shops of my youth. The event's organizer, Michael Carbonaro, was a legendary figure on the Brooklyn comic book scene when I was in my teens...sort of the Donald Trump of comic books, the King of Komix. And that flavor of Old Brooklyn comic collecting was all over the convention -- as well as, I would imagine, many of the same people who frequented those little local shops.

Standing next to me in the guest pass line was the Village Voice's Michael Musto. My first thought upon seeing him, other than the impression that he was far taller in person than I thought he'd be, was wondering if he was there to merely cover the "Heroes" angle or to do one of those ironic pieces on comic cons. Or both.

The venue, at the Pennsylvania Hotel in midtown New York City, was too small to absorb a crowd that was no doubt bolstered by holiday tourists and those eager to gawk at Hayden Panettiere and Kristen Bell. Several times during the convention I had to immediately leave to go outside and "get oxygen" -- something I've done several times at Chiller Theatre in New Jersey but never at the larger cons like San Diego.


Bottlenecks erupted at many key points at the show, most notably at the Bermuda Triangle of Adam Hughes, Tim Sale, and Darwyn Cooke. There were two "Artist's Alleys" -- the Hughes/Sale/Cooke trifecta plus many more on the first floor, and a larger one on the second. Both seemed like cattle calls or assembly lines, multitudes of fans with wheeled carts, baseball caps, and heavy winter coats waiting for a chance to get a sketch or signature from their favorite comic creator.

Much like the comic shops of my formidable years, the Big Apple Con was very much a "place where wimmens dare not tread." It wasn't a hostile environment for females by any means, but it was also an event that had little, outside of several celebrities, to offer them. Most women that I know personally would not jump into one of those bottlenecks in Artist's Alley even if you paid them, even if their most bestest comic creator was sitting there waiting to sign their book.

I mean, picture it -- you have two artist tables within several feet of each other. You're a woman standing between those tables waiting for so-and-so to sketch for you. A constant stream of male convention attendees -- a portion of which are, to be frank, somewhat large -- are pushing past your buffeted body. And you're dressed in your Cosplay outfit of Morrigan from Darkstalkers. It's a a recipe for disaster.

The T&A brigade, in terms of artwork & models, was still there, though not as big a presence as in past shows. Of particular note was one table that featured a zoftig female character who was naked except for a gorilla suit that was cut away so you could see her naughty bits. If you're taking your child to a convention such as this -- as many many people were -- it should be remembered that there will be a selection of nude images such as this presented at your rugrat's eye-level.

To be fair, "gorilla bits" and a few of the more raunchy tables were grouped with what I refer to as "softcore alley," where all the pinup stars and centerfolds sit. It goes without saying that there was a bottleneck around that section as well.


Lastly, I want to touch upon the celebrities in attendance, especially the phenomenon known as "photo-op pre-sales." For a certain fee above and beyond one would pay for a standard photo-op at these shows, you can reserve your photo-op with a certain celebrity -- in this case, Hayden Panettiere and Kristen Bell.

Unlike the celebs in "autograph alley," Panettiere and Bell were whisked away to the 18th floor in a special room designed just for the photo-ops. Looking at one of the advertisements for the photo-ops, I spied an image of Kristen Bell being embraced by a middle-aged fan with his head almost resting on her right boobie and both of his arms locked around her slight frame.

What goes through the minds of Panettiere and Bell when they have to participate in these things? And what goes through the minds of the men who purchase the photo-op? Is it merely a fan thing -- "hey, I got to meet Claire from Heroes!" Or, for the brief few minutes of the photo shoot, are these women their girlfriends?

To sum up, the Big Apple/National Comic Con is very much a place of acquisition -- whether it be Golden Age comics, statues, signatures, sketches, or photos with imaginary girlfriends. It is not a place of discovery -- in terms of new books, talent, ideas, etc. It can be a place of socialization -- but only within the group you know. In all those senses, it is an echo of Ye Olde Comick Shoppe. And it will either have to change and expand its scope in order to outlive its aging clientele -- or get more photo-ops. Perhaps Britney will be available next year.

"Mr. Moore, Can You Sign My DVD Of Watchmen Babies?"

Tonight's episode of The Simpsons, "Husbands and Knives," was an important one in the history of the series. It saw the closure of a Springfield landmark -- The Android's Dungeon.

Jack Black provided the voice of Milo, the uber-hipster proprietor of the new comic store Coolsville. He plays Tom Jones covers in Korean, gives away Japanese hard candies, and has indie icons like Alan Moore, Art Spiegelman, and Dan Clowes do in-store signings.

Unable to compete with the charismatic and egalitarian Milo, The Android's Dungeon's owner Jeff Albertson (better known as Comic Book Guy) must close his doors.

Is this a statement on the comic book industry in real life? Not so much if the Coolsvilles will supplant the Android Dungeons -- but will the publishers themselves transition out from Hardcore Fanboys to Hip Purveyors of Sequential Art Narratives?

And when will DC finally come out with "Watchmen Babies?"

Fangirl Fridays: The "Goodbye To Comics" One-Year Anniversary

It has been pointed out to me that it's been exactly one year since I wrote "Goodbye To Comics."

What a difference a year makes, huh?

The fact that I am more active, integrated, and successful in the comics world now than I ever was when I was officially "in" the comics world kind of baffles me a little bit.

It's like, some people can play within the confines of a very set group of said and unsaid rules and really be successful at it. In my twenties, I tried to do that and succeed in the comic book industry. I failed. The more I tried to follow the "rules," the more I tried not to make any waves, the more I tried to follow DECORUM -- the worse my life became.

And when I finally busted out and expressed myself and did the very thing I was not "supposed" to do -- my life got radically better.

You know who my idols are? Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Andy Kaufman, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, Margaret Cho, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock. My biggest fault in life was that I didn't embrace the true part of myself who looked up to these people. Instead, I was that chick with the little voice in "Police Academy." I lost a lot of time.

Thankfully, with this blog and Friends of Lulu, I really feel as if I have been granted another chance. A lot has changed. I am very happy.

And thanks to the majority of you for reacting as kind and understanding and empathetic as you did to "Goodbye To Comics." After the blog hit, I spent a few days avoiding the Internet entirely because, quite frankly, I was afraid I was just going to get laughed at or hated or whatnot. Writing those posts was a very out-of-character thing for me to do.

I'm glad I did it.

PS: The irony of The Comic Reporter's interview with ex-Wizard staffer Rick Marshall running today is not lost on me.

Occasional Links, the I Know You Are But What Am I? edition

• Did Marvel kill emo? And do they deserve an award of some kind because of it? (via Journalista)
  

• Wrestlers need not apply for the role of He-Man, the movie's writer says to Toyfare. In other news, Marvel interviews a wrestler rumored to be in the running to play Thor.

• Heroes' Hayden Panettiere has a warrant for her arrest out in Japan, Newsarama reports. In other news, Newsarama readers disappointed the headline "Arrest Warrant Issued for Heroes Hayden Panettiere" did not involve a "Chained Heat" sort of scenario.

• There is a growing movement of women who apparently hate the word "moist." "Fudgy" also source of disdain, but at least has chocolatey element to take edge off.

• Have you ever wondered in a battle between Superman & the Death Star who would win? This and other scenarios are pondered (in a most scientific manner) in this informative link.

• Video: Captain America, F**k Yeah (standard version)

• Video: Captain America, F**k Yeah (sad version)

• Here is a page hosting pictures of women dressed in Supergirl outfits. Significant because actually demonstrates how the current outfit, with its just-above-the-pubic-bone low-rider skirt, looks in real life.

• Video: Pee Wee Herman PSA. Scarier than actually taking drugs.

Mr T: "Treat Your Momma Right"

"Scalped" Creator Offers Money Back Guarantee on Trade Paperback

Jason Aaron, writer of Vertigo's Scalped, recently posted a money-back guarantee on the first trade paperback:

"If you're not reading my Vertigo series SCALPED, I want to make it as easy as possible for you to at least give the series a shot, so I'm now offering a money back guarantee on the first trade paperback, "Indian Country." That's the first five issues of the series, for only $9.99, and if you don't like it, you can send it to me and I'll give you your money back."

Well, Mister Aaron, I'm going to take you up on that bet. I have here one padded envelope that will be used to send the first trade of "Scalped" back to you if I am not satisfied.

Will I send Scalped back to Jason Aaron? Stay tuned.

Phoenix As A Dude

Yes, I realize that the name of the book is What If? X-Men: The Rise & Fall Of The Shi’Ar Empire, but it really should be called...

WHAT IF PHOENIX WAS A DUDE?

Not bad. Looks like the lead singer for "Jet."

Occasional Reviews: "Titans East Special"

I felt the need to sit down and talk to you about this one face-to-face.

Spoilers!

Occasional Links

* A new book links comics to the occult and suggests superheroes are the new gods:

"It’s a historical view of comic books that will lead readers to believe that today’s demigods aren’t only found in religious tomes, dark séance rooms or Freemason gatherings, but in comic books, which have a long history evolved through cultures that worshipped demigods all the way through dime store fiction, adventure novels and creators who delved into secret sects and the strange religiosity of occult practices."

In other news, the new gods are dead.


* Use this handy chart to find out how many episodes of your favorite TV show are left before it runs out of scripts and is replaced with "Pooping With The Stars."


* 20% of NYU students would trade their right to vote for an iPod touch, a new poll sez.

Laughing at stupid Americans:


* Angry Zen Master points out the possible in-joke in Marvel's new online project, Digital Comics Unlimited. Again, that's Digital Comics Unlimited.

Does not approve:


* The differences between male and female geekery:

"I once met a beautiful woman who had what I consider to be one of the hottest combos in the world: she was Asian with a British accent. But she was also a hardcore Barbie collector. Hypothetically, could I have overlooked this in regards to a relationship? I'm honestly not sure I could have. It would have just been too weird. Even picturing all those plastic women all over the place, makes me shudder." (via via)

As a former hard-core Barbie collector, I just have to take exception with the quoted article. Having a room full of little plastic eyes staring at you is awesome...and you never feel like you're alone.


* Signs on "L" Train Changed To Forbid "Full House" cast (via via). Can a "yield" sign featuring Jodi Sweetin be far behind?



* "Tales of The Really White Vigilante" chronicles one man's struggle to fight the yuppification of his neighborhood while wearing a Mexican wrestling mask. Guest-starring Gentrification Bear. I'm not kidding.


* Video: Crank Dat Souljah Boy, Mellow Acoustic Version. Soothing.

Breast Augmentation The Salma Hayek Way

The actress says in an interview:
"My mom and I stopped at a church during a road trip we were making from our home in Mexico. When we went inside, I prayed for the miracle I wanted to happen. I put my hands in holy water and said: 'Please God, give me some breasts'. "And he gave me them!"


This is almost as awesome as that time my grandmother placed rosary beads over the TV set when they were calling out the lottery numbers. But not quite.

Superman Primedickery

Okay, let's analyze these latest "Superman Prime" pages and see once again if the character isn't a critique on the so-called "fanboy mentality."

1. "I can't believe I found an Earth even lamer than the one I was stuck on." -- "Worst Earth Ever!"

2. "Cyborg shouldn't be a member of the Justice League." -- lingering institutionalized racism. Liked Black Panther when he wore the full mask and didn't have the African overtones.

3. "Or another fake Aquaman." -- though, to be fair, to really complete the "extreem fanboy" stereotype, he would have snuck a gay joke in there.

4. "This Wonder Woman's not that pretty. Not like my girlfriend Laurie." -- Dude is in denial. Uses insert from picture frame as photo of supposed girlfriend. Would have sex with WW in two seconds. Would have sex with WW's photo insert from picture frame in two seconds.

5. "The perfect universe is out there. Mine is out there. And if I had to rip apart the entire Multiverse..." -- Isn't this how we got in this "Countdown" mess in the first place?

"Final Crisis" and the "New" Batman: The Plot Thickens!

According to LITG, the original plan of turning all the main DCU icons into "Fifth World" characters has been abandoned for something a bit less drastic:

"...a Bat-storyline by Grant Morrison. So look for Bruce Wayne New God to go head-to-head with Darkseid in "Final Crisis."

You know, I really have to wonder if these sorts of spoilers are purposely "leaked" to test the waters with the fans. I'm not saying that Rich Johnson is knowingly running rumors that have been leaked on purpose, because I don't believe that's the case. But if you're the head of a major comic book publishing outfit and are planning massive changes to your characters...wouldn't it make sense to do a little "research?" Isn't it better to find out before you turn half your cast into pseudo-Gods in Kirby headdresses whether or not the fans will balk?

Honestly, I don't think permanently removing Bruce Wayne as Batman will work with the fans. This is not to say that I think DC won't do it. I'm just saying I think it won't "stick" -- unless very maybe you make Dick Grayson Batman. Only a character with that level of "legacy" could really take over.

Personally, I think if they made Jason Todd Batman, fans would be setting their comics on fire and filming it for YouTube. And Stephen Colbert would weep.

Occasional Links: The "Ultimate" Edition

The first images of Heroes' Zachary Quinto as Spock have been released! The dude looks pretty much like a dead ringer for Leonard Nimoy. Can a revival of In Search Of be too far away in his future?


Speaking of JJ Abrams's new Star Trek movie...somebody finally got around to informing Harlan Ellison that the plot might be strikingly similar to his own work on the original television series. As you can imagine, Ellison takes it really really well...


Newsarama's Super-Articulate theorizes that you can figure out all the latest Marvel spoilers by analyzing which characters are being included in their upcoming Marvel Legends action figure waves. A conspiracy theory, you say? Hogwash and craziness? Or...utterly frocking brilliant?!


Boondocks creator Aaron McGruder says he won't do newspaper strips again, calling the venue too "sanitized." In other news, "Pearls Before Swine" now new "relevant" comic strip.


Sarah Michelle Gellar explains to Maxim why she's finally posing for their magazine:
"Lots of things. I’m 30, and I’m promoting a bunch of different kinds of movies. I like to shake things up every once in a while. It’s good to leave people wanting more, but I don’t want to leave them waiting too long or they’ll lose interest. Besides, how could I not do a Maxim shoot when I have a movie coming out in which I play a porn star?"
Darren Aronofsky called; he would like to do a movie based on that interview excerpt.


"The best way for me to avoid spending money on comic books is to not enter the comic book shop," and other advice for shopoholics. "Picking up a few comics on my way home from work? What harm was there in that?" Next thing you know, you're in Requiem for A Dream with your arm amputated and in possession of one of the best damn collections of Bronze Age Marvels on the block.


There is apparently an epidemic of people scattering cremation ashes at Disneyland. "You're dead...what are you going to do now?" "I'm going to Disneyland...whoooooooooo!!!"


Video: Here is a compilation of the best of pro wrestler Ultimate Warrior's incomprehensible speeches. Bear in mind that in the early 90s, this all made sense to me and he was awesome. (Also check out the Warrior's 1996 comic book)

Italian Spiderman

Not as good as Nicholas Hammond, but better than "Electric Company."

DC's ARENA: "Fan Fiction At Its Finest"

C'mon, like you never asked yourself, "If Rorschach went up against Dark Knight Batman, who would win?"

Other battles I'd like to see in DC's "Arena":

Neil Gaiman's Sandman Vs. Jack Kirby's Sandman

The cast of "Camelot 3000" Vs. the cast of "Ronin"

Jim Aparo Commissioner Gordon Vs. Tim Sale Commissioner Gordon

Evey from "V For Vendetta" Vs. Arrowette

Grant Morrison's cat from "Animal Man" Vs. Power Girl's cat from "Justice League Europe"

Jacques Derrida Vs. Mother Teresa

REM's Peter Buck Vs. Rico Suave

Inside a "Furry" Convention

The 11th annual Memphis Furry Convention was held this past weekend at a Holiday Inn. Members of "furry fandom," or, simply, "Furries," are enthusiasts of anthropomorphic representations of animals.

A small subsection of Furries -- the numbers of whom might be unfairly exaggerated by the Media Who Does Not Understand -- sexually fetishize these humanoid creatures.



According to this article, the convention averages about 600-700 people a year, and many show up in full "Furry" costume.

"They love "living" like an animal, or at least dressing up like one. Furries occasionally stroke each other, and there are even fur piles, including one at a dance."

One father brought his children to the convention. Said a Furry known as "Growl Tiger,"

"I just want them to see the things their father is interested in."


The article also states (rather authoritatively) that mostly men enjoy being Furry, and suggests maybe it's a power thing.

In Search Of Jackie Ormes

Tonight at 7:00 in the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art, the New York chapter of Friends of Lulu is hosting a panel discussion entitled, "Women of Color In Comics And Manga." Moderating the discussion is Cheryl Lynn -- known to the blogging community as Digital Femme and a member of The Ormes Society, an organization inspired by the groundbreaking work of cartoonist Jackie Ormes.

But who is Jackie Ormes?


Jackie Ormes, among her other accomplishments, had two successful syndicated comic strips: "Patty-Jo 'n' Ginger," which ran for eleven years during the 1940s and 50s and inspired a doll line, and "Torchy Brown," which first appeared in the 1930s and was revived from 1950-1954.

In an era of rampant stereotypes of African-Americans in popular culture, Ormes's comic strips featured women of color who were confident, brave, intelligent, fashionable, and independent. With a mass media that even now seems to have a problem with the same damn cliches, I marvel at how Ormes managed to buck the system and present her own vision.

Yet in spite of her successes, I haven't seen a tremendous amount written about Ormes. Indeed, after 25 years of being a comic and cartoon enthusiast, the first mention I have ever found of her was in a copy of Trina Robbins's "The Great Women Cartoonists."

But recently there seems to be a renaissance in appreciation for her work. In February of 2008 a book entitled Jackie Ormes: The First African American Woman Cartoonist by Nancy Goldstein will be published by University of Michigan Press. And The Ormes Society continues to keep the memory of this distinguished American cartoonist alive.

Turning now from the past to the present and future, I would recommend dropping by the "Women of Color" panel discussion at MoCCA. Panelists include illustrious illustrators such as Alitha Martinez, known for her work on books such as Iron Man and Thor, Jenny Gonzalez, creator of the Too Negative series and contributor to the House of Twelve anthology, and Rashida Lewis, creator of the comic series Sand Storm.

Occasional Links, The Krusty Edition

REM guitarist's shadowy comic book guy past...


...and System of a Down drummer's comic book guy future.


More pearls of wisdom from crack psychologist William Moulton Marston. And the key word is "crack," which looks like "crock," is shaped like a rock, and rhymes with "quack."




Winona Ryder to play Spock's mother in upcoming Star Trek movie. In other news, I'm f**king old.


Michael Bay circulating fake "Transformers 2" scripts to throw off fans:
"One thing I do know is I know how to screw them up more," said Bay. "We're going to leak a lot of false information all over the place. I now know their game. They're going to get a lot of script treatments that they think are going to be the script. They will never see the script. We've got scripts and treatments written up that we're going to leak. No one's going to know."
In other news, Michael Bay is a douche.


Bill Morrison's Velvet Crusty on display in Utah.



The ballad of Dazzler's butt. Many Betty Grable-esque over-the-shoulder tush shots, "do I look fat in this," "see anything you like," "wanna see me bounce a quarter off of this," "I'm the new Marvel superheroine for the 1980s," etc.


Kevin Church assists DC's Marketing Department with some crack ad copy. And by "crack," I mean looks like...well, you know. Via Journalista.


Video: Who needs "Smallville" and "Batman Begins" when you can have CAMPY SUPERFRIENDS?

Fan Cuts Self Making "Penance" Custom Action Figure

A creative and industrious fan of Penance from the Thunderbolts cut himself while making a custom action figure of the character.

The customizer, who goes by the name "TFMANIAC" on the action figure message board The Fwoosh, wrote,

"yup i got the hard metal wire sharpened the tips with the dremel
cut off the tip
and repeated till i got about 50 of em..
didnt need to used them all thank God"

He also posted a picture of his bleeding finger:


The Occasional Superheroine blog applauds all fans who go the extra mile to balance the injustices served by the unimaginative toy companies.

Approves:

Fangirl Fridays: The New Kitchen Edition

Hi-ho. I'm stuck for the greater part of this day at home while my kitchen is being torn out and replaced. I didn't think that in a small space like an apartment you could "dig up" things and find artifacts like old newspapers from the 1960s and queerly-shaped metal hooks but apparently you can.

This seems like a good time to talk about Change. I think I've talked about it before. But I feel strongly that there is Change afoot in Comics and figured it's as good a topic as any to chat about on a Friday afternoon as the rubble of a 50-year-old structure floats about me in a nice splintery haze.

The last time I think things were "normal" in comics -- the way "they have always been" -- was 2000, 2001. Things seemed still predictable. The phrase "oh, women don't really read comics" still had some currency. Manga was still very off-the-radar of the mainstream, though Marvel gave it an early shot with their brief "Marvel Mangaverse" and DC editor Andy Helfer was crying in the wilderness about these strange books he got in Japan that he swore were going to take over the industry. Sure, Andy. "Soon everybody will be reading manga." Right.

Back in 2000, Vertigo Comics was still synonymous with "comic books that adults read," and "Preacher" and "Sandman" had a dead-lock on the bookstore market. The Internet was mainly a place to engage in flame wars and read episode spoilers; the apparent failure of the e-book helped ease our fears that print was in any danger from the digital format. We were sure that "people want to read on paper."

And comic book movies, after a brief respite with Tim Burton at the beginning of the 90s, still sucked.

I'm not sure I can pinpoint when everything exactly changed. It might have been the success of Sam Raimi's "Spider-Man." It might have been when a big crater was blown into my city. Who knows? The important thing is, things changed.


Events like "House of M," "Identity Crisis," "Civil War," "Infinite Crisis," "World War Hulk," and "Countdown" are all responses to this change. It certainly seems as if nothing has been stable in either the Marvel or DC Universes in quite some time, hasn't it? It sometimes feels like as readers we are in danger of having the floors pulled out from the narratives and structures of our favorite comics at any second.


By next Summer, more than likely the structures of at least some of our most beloved characters are going to get a massive facelift. Whether those facelifts will be permanent, merely flash-in-the-pan gimmicks, or changes that receive early abortions when the public balks remains to be seen.

But I think, on the part of the publishers, the desire to change and present heroes that are not so much "legacies" as "peers" is strong. I think the publishers want to change. I think they are making active efforts to "keep with the times," even though there might not be a consensus as to what those times are and where they are leading us.

2008 will be a very key year for comics. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd predict major changes of status quo in the Marvel, Marvel Ultimates, DC, Vertigo, and Wildstorm Universes. I'd predict the Spring and Summer comic book conventions as the major staging areas for rolling announcements of relaunches, reboots, and "universe integrations."

I know sometimes we bitch about this comic creator and that, this editor and that. But in the end, for better or for worse, they are the mythmakers and "world-shapers." They are, most likely, furiously laboring away at the future plans and reshapings of many of our favorite characters right at this very second.

I, for one, am very curious as to what's in store.

Well, it looks like they're just about done with my kitchen. Cherry oak on particle-board...very nice. But the fridge and the stove really need to go.

Oh...and I need a floor.

Occasional Reviews: Supergirl #23 and Ms. Marvel #21

If I had only waited to lump in my review of She-Hulk #22, we could have had a trifecta.


Supergirl #23, featuring the new creative team of Kelley Puckett, Drew Johnson, and Ray Snyder, starts out promising enough. Supergirl gets a mysterious package. What's in the box? Who gave it to her? And is Jean Loring involved? Many questions flood into your head. And then you see him. See who? Batman. But not just any Batman...stubble-faced creepy sorta crazy-looking Goddamn Batman. It's awesome. Did the editor put Goddamn Batman in on purpose? Was Drew Johnson given a stack of ASBAR to use as drawing reference? Who knows? It's not important.

Then Supergirl gets sucked into this sketchy galactic mission involving Superman and these Green Lantern dudes. It's all very colorful and Johnson's art is pretty. But it feels like a fill-in. It free-floats much as Supergirl herself does through space during most of the story. It isn't bad. It just that it's a vignette.

Drew Johnson's art isn't that much different than that of previous artist Renato Guedes, only there is a bit more hip-bone drawn in above the belt and it's not as photo-realistic. Most of it is pretty good; there are a few panels that stray into wonky territory. Snyder is a good inker for him, holds together the lines nicely.

But I can give you no real forecast or opinion on how the Puckett/Johnson era is going to be, because #23 reads like an inventory story. Maybe next month the new status quo will finally be established. Who knows? I'm still trying to get over the Goddamn Batman on page 4.
Rating: B-


With Ms. Marvel #23, Carol Danvers is back from the superheroine love-doll -- excuse me, living art -- farm in Chile just in time to have some sort of alien stick a tentacle through her spine. She becomes psychically connected to the alien, who in her mind looks like a hot blue chick with dreadlocks. Somewhere along the way, Machine Man gets a female body, continuing the meme started a few weeks ago with Hawkeye in "Marvel Zombies 2."

"Ms. Marvel" is just a good, readable comic. It's not quite Grant Morrison. But, much like the "Iron Man" monthly, if you follow it every month you get a pay off with an interesting supporting cast, a continuing story not bogged down too much with the event-of-the-hour, and a complex superheroine.

That said, a great deal of the success of "Ms. Marvel" is due to the work of artist Aaron Lopresti. Lopresti invests Carol Danvers with a very definite personality through his art. Yeah, it's a little cheesecakey at moments. But it's also very human. And I feel for Ms. Marvel through that art, those facial expressions, the way I did for "Strangers In Paradise" through Terry Moore's art. And I know that sound like the ultimate blasphemy, but it's the truth. Go look at Katchoo and Lopresti's Carol Danvers side-by-side.
Rating: B+

Not that I'm saying this is wrong, or anything...

...but just now, as I took my lunch break, I turned the channel to NBC and they had one of those "View" type "women's shows." It was called "IVillage" something or other. And you have these two women discussing these items spread out on the table in front of them, and after a minute or two I look up and realize that they're sex toys.

I'm not saying it's wrong for them to discuss sex toys on an afternoon network TV show. I'm just saying I was surprised.

But it gets better...these aren't ordinary run-of-the-mill sex toys -- they're "green" sex toys -- environmentally friendly.

"Just because you're having sex doesn't mean you can't think about saving the planet too."

And so she has these glass ding-dongs that "can be tossed in the recycling bin along with your wine bottles."

"I don't know...I don't want anything recycled from my sex toys," the other lady says.

But the first lady reassures her that "these are totally safe...they're hand-blown!"

Second lady flashes a knowing Jack Benny look to the audience and everybody starts laughing hysterically.

Then they move on to the solar-powered vibrator.

"Just keep this in the sunlight for three hours or so and you're ready to go!"

Lady #2 throws her hands in the air and goes "eep!" as the device buzzes across the counter.

Then there are pair of these little day-glo numbers. Lady #2 -- the comedian -- holds them like guns. "Bang! Bang bang bang!"

Lastly, we have soy-based candles. Just in case you would like to reenact that famous scene from "Body of Evidence" with Willem Dafoe & Madonna in an environmentally-sound manner.

Back on CNN, images of the drought in Georgia are shown, and tips on how to conserve water are flashed on the screen:

"You only need to rinse that pot once," the newscaster says with a smile.

Occasional Links

Dating tip #78: When she first comes over the apartment, put the Wizard Exclusive Spider-Man Zombie Bust away! ("The Magneto helmet too?" "Yes, the Magneto helmet too. Just until she gets to know you as a person.")


Speaking of Wizard, I just noticed that the Kristen Bell photos for the online and print editions are a bit different:

















Why exactly is this? Wouldn't a half-dressed young woman apparently tying a garotte around her neck appeal to the online community as well? Or is it just that "stripes are in?"


This year's bestselling toy has been recalled because it can be ingested and turned into a date rape drug. In other news, reports are coming in that if you lick the eyeball of the Tickle Me Extreme Cookie Monster, you can see the dead.


Here are 10 of the worst comic book advertisements ever printed. Curiously, the list fails to mention "Resistance Fall Of Man" ad of little girl with demon-mouth skipping rope that almost made crap my pants last night.


The Spice Girls now have a BLOG! (whee!) It's filled with fascinating quotes like "Melanie C is definitely embracing her Sporty roots today in a fetching pair of tracky bottoms." Of interest, though, is Ginger Spice's claim that "...the Spice Girls are now Spice Women." Spice Women. Sounds like something you'd run into in a "Dune" novel.


"Suicide Squad" and "GrimJack" scribe John Ostrander picks his top Chick Flicks. There will be Tom Hanks...oh yes, there will be Tom Hanks.


A new study says that female corporate directors make more money than men. In other news, much much much much more male corporate directors than female. So it all works out...uh, right?


Vintage Video: Batman Versus "the Evil King of Memphis." Note: Adam West refers to Superman as "Supe" in this footage, alert John Byrne.

Jack Nicholson on "Dark Knight" - "I'm Furious"

Jack Nicholson complains to MTV about not being consulted on how to play The Joker:

"They never asked me about a sequel with the Joker. I know how to do that! Nobody ever asked me," Nicholson said. "It's like, in any area, you can't believe the reasons things do or don't happen. Not asking me how to do the sequel is that kind of thing. Maybe it's not a mistake. Maybe it was the right thing, but to be candid, I'm furious."

All together now, peoples:


Jack, you are not Adam West in 1989 bitching about how he wasn't even given a screen test for "Batman." You are Jack-freakin-Nicholson. You've got "Chinatown," "Five Easy Pieces," "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," freakin "Terms of Endearment," and "As Good As It Gets" under your belt. Suck it up.

New Poll: Will The Cast Of The New "Teen Titans East" Special Die a Quick And Horrible Death?

Reading this interview with Judd Winick on Newsarama about "Teen Titans East," I can only assume the worst will happen to this erstwhile new-but-sort-of-crappy team. I think the tip-off would be the inclusion of "Hair-On-His-Chest-Lad." Having Power Boy on your team is sort of like painting a big target on your clubhouse.

The sorts of dudes and dudettes in "Teen Titans East" are the ones that would have died first in the original "Crisis." If "Slobbo" from "Young Justice" was still around, he'd be on Teen Titans East. If "Team Titans" were still around, they'd be on Teen Titans East. Slapstick from "Avengers The Initiative" laughs at "Teen Titans East." Flat Man from "The Great Lakes Initiative" spits flat spit at "Teen Titans East."

That said, I have much respect for Cyborg, and suspect it was simply part of his contract with DC that he got shanghaied into "Teen Titans East." Since Judd Winick has stated his plans for bringing back the "Wolfman/Perez" era Titans, I think he's safe.

What do think?

Occasional Reviews: Action Comics #858

This was going to start out as a simple review of Action Comics #858. The basic gist of that review was going to be, "love the art, but I've read this before."

But somehow, I got off on the tangent of Nostalgia.


Action Comics #858 is steeped in Nostalgia. It starts right on the cover, as we get a great shot of a Gary Frank-rendered Superman who looks uncannily like Christopher Reeve.

Then there is the cover blurb with the words "Legion of The Superheroes Part One" on it, and the flight ring Superman is wearing. Yes, the Legion is supposed to be all about the Future. But we we know it isn't, really. The Future is going to involve more sunscreen, a sharp reduction in beef consumption, and the extinction of polar bears. Oh, and Vulcans; if we're lucky, maybe Vulcans.

I open the issue and the first thing I see is a re-enactment of the whole "Destruction of Krypton"/"Baby Kal-El"/"Ma and Pa Kent" trope. Along with the murder of Bruce Wayne's parents, this trope has been reenacted hundreds of times within the pages of DC Comics and their ancillary properties. It, along with many of the key DCU events, has been played out again and again with near-religious fervor.

Going further in the issue, I am struck by how dead-on Frank's illos of Superman/Clark Kent look like Reeve. We see Jimmy Olsen & Perry White, drawn and written in such a fashion that they haven't seemed to have aged in 50 years. We see the 80's version of Brainiac -- I used to have the Super Powers figure for him, looked just like that. Then we see the 60's version of the Legion of the Superheroes. And then Superman gets mixed up with a "Time Sphere."

It's another "time and space has done the funky moonwalk" issue. And that promises plenty of Nostalgia.

Both DC and Marvel -- as well as mainstream comics in general -- have always been hung-up with Nostalgia. I think it's a superhero thing. I think it's the very fact that characters like Superman and Captain America have such outlandish, retro costumes and idealistic backgrounds that fairly begs for the Nostalgia.

I mean, how can a Superman book exist without the use of Nostalgia? I mean, certainly you could have the continuing adventures of a near-invulnerable man. But it's going to look like the movie "Unbreakable." It's not going to be that beautiful multi-colored illustration of a pseudo-Chris Reeve on the cover of Action Comics #858.

What if Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and the rest continued their adventures without the baggage? What if instead of replaying the first meeting of Superman & The Legion you create a new trope? What if instead of focusing on Captain America frozen in that block of ice you create a new myth? And maybe that new myth would consist of Bucky Barnes finding redemption and what it means to truly be an all-American hero. And maybe the new trope for Batman, the one that will be played back over and over again fifty years from now, is yet-to-be-invented. Maybe there is some comic writer out there with the spark of inspiration Bob Kane had -- a spark that is not pre-planned but purely accidental, purely serendipitous, brilliant.

The comic book industry has lost at least one generation of kids to video games and navel-gazing. The comic book flavor of Nostalgia has lost its hold on them. Nostalgia for them consists of Super Mario Brothers on SNES. My adult brother's eyes mist up when he hears the "triumph song" at the end of Super Mario Brothers 2. His entire vocabulary of comic book nostalgia consists of Ben Reilly and that time Alicia Masters was really a Skrull.

I think we need new myths.

That said, the Gary Frank art alone in Action Comics #858 is worth the price of the entire comic book.

Occasional Links

Does Selina Kyle indeed have nipples molded onto her costume on this cover? Or is she just very...ah...no, not "happy," I'm looking for a word...ebullient? That's right, ebullient.


JJ Abrams is looking for a few good cadets for his new Star Trek movie:

"Talent with interesting and unique facial features such as: long necks, small heads, extremely large heads, wide-set eyes, bug eyes, close-set eyes, large forehead, short upper lip, pronounced cheekbones, over- or undersized ears and/or nose, facial deformities, ultra plain-looking people, ultra perfect-looking people, pure wholesome looks, twins, triplets, emaciated talent, regally poised and postured talent, or other visually unique characteristics."

I think Abrams is just trying to save on make-up & special effects.


Video: The Sesame Street "Women Can do Anything" song. Nice, but doesn't change the fact that the most iconic Sesame Street female characters we have are the wishy-washy Mary Lou and Prarie Dawn, when Ernie & Cookie Monster get all the best lines. Yeah, just like "Saturday Night Live."


With even more Mattel recalls, will parents shun toys for their youngsters this holiday season? And could the comic book industry see this as an "in" for their non-lead-based products? I mean, what would you rather have for Christmas...a toxic choo-choo train or the collected hardcover for "Godland?" I think I've made my point.


With "Aquaman" cancelled, thank God we have Platinum Studios' "Atlantis Rising" for only 25 cents on sale this week to satisfy all needs aquatic. I liked how I wrote that one.


"The Office" Fan-Fiction Repository. Complete with slash, maudlin angst-fics, and Harry Potter crossover story.


"Then I want there to be a bit of a penis peeking out from under Misato's skirt, but the head of thr penis is Gendo's face." Anime convention horrors. (via Journalista)


Hm. I think I'm going to buy a few donuts now and curl up with some exciting freelance work and a heating pad. See ya, kids!

Bat-Psychology test

What do you see when you first look at the Neal Adams-drawn alternate cover for All-Star Batman #8?

If you said "Batman," it means that you are a noble but driven soul dedicated to justice.

If you said "Joker," it means that you are secretly a ruthless maniac bent on world domination.

We also have a write-in answer that will be interpreted separately on an individual basis.

The cover is interesting, but it just doesn't scream "Goddamn Batman" to me. Where's Batman's stubble?

A Really Good Michael Turner Cover

I mean, imagine if those "Supergirl" and "JLA" covers looked like this.

A lot of the time, I don't think it's the artist; it's the market. I think the type of art Turner is known for is drawn in a certain exaggerated style that his fans call for. In the case of the "Heroes" covers for TV Guide, I think it would have been too "off-model" for him to draw in that skinny, elongated style.

I think there are very few "hot" artists who are the frequent target of critics that are truly without the talent to "draw better." Most have a range. They draw what sells.

That image of Claire would have made a great Supergirl, BTW.

A "New" Batman: Revamps of Classic Concepts

With rumors of a possible new Bruce Wayne-less Batman in the works, I thought it would be educational to review how other shocking changes to established brands have been received by the public over the years.

Barbie & Ken shock the world by breaking up after 43 years of going steady.
Success or failure? Success. Her devotion to longtime beau Ken seemed too "square" to a generation raised on "Bratz." Besides, Ken needed the time to work a few "issues" out.

Itchy and Scratchy supplanted by Poochie in popular "Krusty The Clown" show.
Success or failure? Killed off in only his second episode, media pundits agree that Poochie was a catastrophic failure, the damage of which is still only being calculated.

Peter Parker revealed to be clone.
Success or failure? You be the judge.

Pete Best replaced in Beatles by Ringo Starr.
Success or failure? Success, though Best might say that it sucked arse.

Aunt Jemima redesigned in 1988 to move away from "mammy" look; kerchief and bandanna replaced with pearl earrings.
Success or failure? Yeah, I'm gonna file that under "success."

John Astin plays "The Riddler" instead of Frank Gorshin in the 1960's "Batman" TV series.
Success or failure? That was bulls**t, man. He didn't even look right in that outfit...his body was all long and stuff.

Long-time James Bond hottie Pierce Brosnan replaced by homely good looks of Daniel Craig.
Success or failure? Success. don't you know that "homely" is the new "hot?"

Longtime "Robin" Dick Grayson finally turns in tights and calls himself "Nightwing."
Success or failure? Success. DC was anxious to get the name "Dick" out of the Batman/Robin equation.

That said, would DC really give Batman a permanent new alter ego and alter more than 70 years of continuity? And what of similiar storylines in "Captain America" and "The Hulk?"

Will these revamps of "old" characters be successes? Or...Poochie?


(I don't really feel strongly one way or the other; just please keep Jason Todd away from the cowl)

Occasional Links

Buyer question for "McFarlane Twisted X-Mas Sexy Topless Mrs. Claus Custom" on Ebay:
"I am interested. Please send me a photo of the front of figure."

John Byrne dishes on Roger Stern and maybe Stan Lee. Still trying to interpret, need more coffee.

Shia "Transformers" Lebouf now has "cred," now "hardcore."

A chunk of the universe is apparently missing. Bob the Monitor currently being interviewed.

Michael Eisner sees Bazooka Joe as next Mickey Mouse; Mike and Ike, encouraged by news, currently seeking representation. (via Blog@Newsarama)

When this Japanese comic book heroine needs to kick ass in the boardroom, she flips on her "Man Switch."

Tom Brevoort provides shocking evidence of Skrull invasion. Almost as scary as that birthday party alien in "Signs," not as scary as haggard-yet-cherubic Vince Vaughn mugging it up for the camera in "Fred Claus."

Shocking new "Greatest American Hero" footage. Mr. Maxwell arranging intervention.

Official Statement on the Whole "LITG" Thing

This is just an official statement regarding the recent "Lying In The Gutters" column that mentions elements of my personal life.

The important thing that I like to keep in mind is that one year ago, I could never have imagined that I would be so very happy as I am now. I am with a man I love, am president of a great organization, and have met hundreds of wonderful people within this industry.

That is what I am focusing on now.

Best,
Valerie

The DC Reboot Theory...Validated?

From today's LITG:

"In June/July, DC are killing off Batman. Or rather, Bruce Wayne. Robin will inherit the Batman cowl. One of the Robins anyway. Tim Drake. Jason Todd. Or possibly Red Hood. Hey, maybe Jean-Paul Valley, it has been ten years since Azrael.

Either way, the book will relaunch with a nice shiny #1."

Does this mean the first of a bunch of post-Final Crisis "reboots" for the key DCU titles???

Tim Drake seems too young?

And even if they did this, would it really "stick?" Making Batman officially somebody other than Bruce Wayne impacts the movies, the cartoons, etc. I don't think giving the cape and cowl to the next gen is completely unheard of. But it is a very very very big step.

Oh God, unless they make all the next gen official "inheritors" of the old DCU, only to bring everybody back in a post-Final Crisis miniseries one year later.

"Final Crisis 2: The Return" a.k.a "Final Crisis 2: We Really Mean It."

Ridley Scott to Direct "Monopoly" The Movie

"Blade Runner" director Ridley Scott is apparently on-board to helm the upcoming "Monopoly" movie.

"Monopoly" will be based on the popular board game that has entertained millions of families for decades.

Said a Hasbro consultant:

"Hasbro already has cool games like Ouija, which could be a supernatural movie, but we think of Monopoly with Ridley Scott as director or producer, as a massive global hit. Everyone has played Monopoly in one version or another so, hopefully, they would be curious about how it translates to the screen."

I have to go cry now.

Unimpressed:

Occasional Previews: What Should I Buy This Week?

Okay, I'm staring at my Diamond Shipping List for November 9th, and, other than "Omega The Unknown" #2, I'm sort of at a loss.

It's not that the books listed are bad -- it's just that they aren't books I collect on a regular basis and I'm unsure where my hard-earned cash should go to (though there are always shoes...)

Help me out here, people. Any suggestions?

Occasional Links

It's official: Facebook now more popular than porn. It must be the "Super-Poke" App.

No, it's not called "Batdickery"...it's called "Goddamn Batman Awesome."

Here is a convenient one-stop reference for your Rob Liefeld swipes. The key is then to swipe a Liefeld swipe, thus opening up a hole in the space-time continuum and making Schrodinger weep. (via Journalista)

Martha Thomases turns the spotlight on Kyle Baker's controversial Special Forces comic from Image. Actually, I'm not sure if the comic has sparked controversy yet, as it only came out several days ago. But I figured I give it a head-start. Because that's how I roll.

Today's "Hollywood Hottie Is Secret Comic Book Fan" brought to you by MSNBC.

Video: Davey teaches his racist dog Goliath that skin color is unimportant. Complete with symbolic blind person.

A meditation on proper bra usage for active superheroines. "Remember in X-Men 3: The Last Stand when Magneto reconstructed the bridge while he was making his way over it? Imagine that, but just with a bra!" Yes.

Video: Remember, kids, the next time you see porn on your computer, react by violently destroying said computer. Then go on Facebook instead.

Did "Family Guy" Go Too Far This Episode?

SPOILERS

On last night's 100th episode of "Family Guy," Stewie finally puts his money where his mouth is and shoots his mother Lois dead. Lois, of course, turns up alive at the very end of the episode, but...

Did this episode take things one step too far?

I'm asking this as the result of my own gut reaction during certain points in the show. Specifically, after Stewie so graphically dispatched his mom, I failed to find him or the storyline funny anymore...it was as if Family Guy finally went too far!

Of course, there is also the disappointment factor of showing an act that had been built up for so many seasons...sometimes it is better not to actually see Mulder & Scully do it, you know? But I go back to the utter brutality of the act...

It reminded me of that South Park episode where Cartman made the Radiohead fan cannibalize his own parents in front of his idols (who mock him for being a crybaby); when the boy cries, Cartman licks his tears and comments that they are "tasty and sweet." While some fans have commented that this episode indeed jumps the shark, it is also ranked top in South Park popularity polls.

It's all about that invisible dividing line keeping even a character in an outrageous show from being completely irredeemable. In "Married With Children," Al Bundy read porn, was a lout, and put down his family on a regular basis -- but it was always made a point that he never cheated on his wife. And when he would actually end up in a situation where cheating was immanent, he had to excuse himself from it. Though Al was an outrageous character, what "saved" him was his commitment to Peg (such as it was).

The same "device" was used in Howard Stern's early radio program when he was still married to Allison. Howard was the ultimate cad, but in the end he always remained faithful to his wife -- a point played out in near-heroic fashion in his movie "Private Parts." Had he actually slept with the Playboy model he was interviewing, there would be some essential element that would be lost...he'd just be an ordinary bastard.

Similarly, while Stewie has beat Brian with an OJ glass for "my money," shot Matthew McConaughey, traveled across the country just to punch Will Ferrell, attempted to kill his mother numerous times, and done any number of ruthless acts, there was a certain limit that kept him from being totally unlikeable. Oh yes, he wants to kill Lois -- but he never really does it. Because, we think, deep-down he really loves her and is just struggling with pseudo-oedipal issues in his oversized football-shaped head.

But in last night's episode he kills his mom in a bloody display, shows not a drop of remorse, and is willing to see his father go to the electric chamber for it.

I mean, I'm liberal, but do I want my child (theoretical as the bugger may be), to watch this?

It's the day the laughter died (snif!)

Then again, this scene where Stewie turns his head around 180 degrees is pretty funny.

Yeah, I'm easy.

"It's Like Letting Spike Lee Direct Captain America"

In this comics podcast, called "Alternate Reality," we have the following exchange by the hosts (it starts around 7:30 on the counter). They are discussing a new director for the Captain America movie. One host expresses doubts that the rumored director is fit for the job, because he has been associated with violent films. Then the other host says...

Host 1: "You give that script to that director and tell him to make that movie, he may have made that movie to what the script called for."

Host 2: "That may be true, but that's like saying we're going to let...Spike Lee direct Captain America."

Host 1: "Yeah, I don't think that would be right...because The Falcon would be in it a lot."

Host 2: "Why?"

Host 1: "Spike Lee. You know he would. Don't even ask me why."

I Plead The Fifth...

...Fifth World, that is!


However, rumor has it that Grant Morrison was planning to do this all the time. Rumor also has it that the plan is to have the main DCU characters replace the New Gods. (all rumors provided by that reputable source Scans Daily)

Now, if the DCU replaces the New Gods, what happens to the DCU?

Which goes back to the "rebooting" theory. I swear by this theory.

Now, I know such and such people in the industry and I hear stuff (especially around 11 PM at convention parties). But I have no inside bead on this. I am just championing this theory based solely on what I perceive are the larger media needs for these properties & as well as what would best work financially.

What if you move all the grown-up sidekicks up a notch and have them become the main DCU? And then you move all the main DCU up a notch and make them "Fifth Worlders?"

It drives my BF crazy when I get on a kick regarding this theory...it's a great way to liven up a night of Mexican food and "Smallville."

Finally, A Video Game Just For Women

Cosmopolitan Magazine is now hosting the flash game "Boy Toy" on their website:

"In this exclusive Cosmo game, our cute, sweet guy exists solely to serve you. That's right, you control what he does, and if he keeps you happy, then you win points in the game. Watch out for the skanky ex-girlfriend though!"

Okay, so this is basically the set-up of the whole game:

You are in a nightclub with your fantasy boyfriend. He must fetch you a drink every time you ask. He must give the DJ your song request every time you ask. And he must snuggle with you on the couch and give you schnookies every time you ask.

Points are taken off for not getting drinks fast enough or letting your "boy toy" be accosted by his "skanky ex-girlfriend."

What this game says about how Cosmo Mag thinks of its readership is certainly one good question.

Another point to ponder is -- "boy toy" might be a woman's fantasy boyfriend, but it is the woman who controls "boy toy's" action. The woman is, in terms of actual game play, slaving to do all these things for the computerized "Cosmo Girl." I see no actual dude in this equation.

Thirdly -- the "Cosmo Girl" had my "boy toy" get up and give her drinks like 25 times. By five minutes into play, "Cosmo Girl' really should have been dead from alcohol poisoning.

Fangirl Fridays

Fangirl Fridays Ten-Point Agenda:

1) Facebook is MySpace crack for the intellectual set.

2) Is Super-Poking on Facebook sort of dirty? It's like I want to use it to say "hello," but I'm afraid it will be misinterpreted.

3) I missed what happened in the latest issue of "Countdown." I'm depending on Dan Bizzle to fill me in. Don't let me down, Dan.

4) How can "Wizard Magazine" be the next "FHM" when we don't even have an "EW" for comics yet? Somebody get "Comic Foundry" chief Tim Leong on the phone.

5) Don't forget to wish Steve Ditko a happy eightieth birthday today...if you can find him.

6) I don't expect y'all to join up with Friends of Lulu right now just because I'm president. But after a few months when we get things in full gear I'm going to totally bug you about it. Consider me that person in your office pushing my child's school candy sale until you break and buy the cashew log rolls. It may seem a little annoying at first, but then you forget all about the purchase and then out of nowhere: "cashew log rolls!" Consider your F.O.L. newsletter a cashew log roll. But please don't tell Trina I made that analogy.

7) Sometimes when nobody is looking I like to pretend I'm Ray Davies from The Kinks and play air guitar. When somebody catches me doing this, I feel pretty rotten.

8) I had my first contact with DC Comics yesterday in relation to a small but necessary Friends of Lulu site update matter. It went something like this.

9) Because of my duties now as Friends of Lulu prez, I realize that the issue of "women in comics" (and I know that's such a generic term) is much bigger than I am. I don't excuse the crappy things that have happened to women in this industry, nor do I deny those things happened.

But at the same time, I have to work towards concrete goals such as re-establishing the Lulu Review Board and Mentorship Program, as well as increasing public awareness of the ever-increasing female comics readership. I, along with my fellow Lulus, have to bring more attention to the achievements of females in this medium and encourage publishers to hire more of them.

So taking this all into consideration, I have officially called off my grudge against DC Comics.

This does not mean an automatic "A+" for upcoming reviews of "Booster Gold," however. And if I see another panel of Wonder Woman serving coffee to the Justice League, I'm probably going to point it out.

10) And geez...the outpouring of support you all have given me on this blog...

You all rock. A blog is as only as good as its readers.

best,
Val